Lonelygirl. I hope you are good. I have been work all day,then various things in evening, busy with my children etc etc. Anyway i do hope that you have prayed istikhaara and feel more at ease. I really did at first feel that this is wrong because Allah will let you know if He wills, i felt your reason for praying Istikharaa was wrong. But as i progressed throughout the day i thought that if you did pray Istikhaara, it might put your mind more at rest, and whatever is between you and Allah is between you and Him alone, so i really shouldn't have been more forcefull with my advice not to pray the istikhaara........... I have felt really angry since i read your e-mail, but you are not alone there are others out there suffering too, but it depends on you how to deal with it/resolve it.......... Just want to share with you what someone said to me once "we could break his legs but it won't take away the begharaati"........... What to do eh???? Just want you to know am thinking of you and you are in my dua.