I hope that you are ok. You have been given some very good sound advice. Can i ask you the outcome of the istikhaara.? I have been thinking about you and your situation and today as it was jumma i made special dua for........ I know what you are going through, one thing came into my mind and that was that you do not have children, so if you do decide to make a break there will be no children to suffer. But you got to sort this out, if talking about it makes him more mad and causes arguements, and he is turning around and blaming you etc etc then do something practical. That way you have the evidence, but do not go to him first, go to family/imaam any other trustworthy person tell them and then confront him. This would be my advice to you at the moment.