guys guys guys.. im 23, not 16..
this is the story, not only am i suspicious of him but also we are very different from each other, he cannot understand why i am independant and as he has come from acountry that the man is in control, he cannot digest any different from that..
he screws at me for going to sleep, for forgettin to bring the water on the odd occasions, spendin over an hr at a frends house when shes just lost her mum, wanting to see a car before i buy it, not eatin cos im not hungry.. its soo many petty things i cant get my head around..
i feel suffocated in my home, i have to tiptoe on everythin i do or say.
I agree i have faults but for someone who has to look at everything ting thing they do, its very difficult..
theres alot more tings but i wont go into that, as a 3rd person will not really understand what is happenin.

as for the doubts, he no longer leaves his phone lying around and always delete his call list, before he used to have calls at least one a day, now u look at the list and its one from many days ago..
he speaks to a family member and wen i walk in they go quiet and one will wonder off..
they smile at each other, sittin across the room.. hw can i wife take that her hubby is smilin at another woman and its that kinda diff smile, he never does that with me.

the night i prayed isktikhara, the only ting dat happened was i dreamt i was happy with another man that was not my husband.. dunno if this is bad or what, but thats wat happened,
my parents knows how petty he is and have sed to him to change but nuttin major has happened. now his mother has come from Pak to visit so not much talkin between me and parents will happen.
I dont no what to ask for, i will not deny, that the way i have felt is sooo low that i have wanted to escape life and get away from all this. Yesterday was another emotional day, i tried to talk to my dad and he just brushed me off sayin we will talk later, this means never cos he will not ask me at a later date, he will just ignore and i will not go to him again. When he brushed me off like that i felt sooo hurt i cant explain.
Its jus me and Allah swt. He can help me and he will inshAllah. I was close to prayin that i get out of this relationship but then i tink is this is what Allah wants then this is what will be.. I pray that if its meant to be with hubby then, give me peace and happiness, or if its not meant to be, then let it be over with quickly cos ive always thorts once im married i def will not be committin sin like i was before, but i still seem to be committin sin and dont want to be, i really want to live life the right way and do good without committin sin. Thats why sometimes i think it best for both of us if we go our own ways without any hard feelings.. he could be happier with someone else, and so could I.. its just like we're two opposites that will never connect and understand each other fuly.
if i keep saying yes to everything he says then all is well, the moment i speak my mind or say somethin that he dont like or is not how he thinks then hells breaks loose.
he tells me i should think lik this and in such a way,, but that is not me.. why is he tryna change me, and how i tink..
ppl i dont no what ur views arre on abt all this, but only me him and Allah swt really know.
I ask you please, whether u tink im in the right or wrong to pray for me and somehow bring happiness and sakoon into my life.. all i want is happiness and live a proper married life with someone i love and hu loves me, and care for each other dearly, without petty arguements.. please pray..that i stop committin more sin thru this marriage,, i dont no how much more i can take..