FYI...new policy on sick leaves
Please ensure a 100% Adherence
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
SUBJECT: SICK LEAVE POLICY
SICKNESS:
No excuse. We will no longer accept your doctor's
statement as proof. We believe that if you are
able to go to the doctor, you are able to come
to work. 
AN OPERATION:
We are no longer allowing this practice. We wish
to discourage any thoughts that you may need an
operation. We believe that as long as you are an
employee here, you will need all of whatever you
have and should not consider having anything
removed. We hired you as you are and to have
anything removed would certainly make you less
than we bargained for.
DEATH:
Other than your own:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is
nothing you can do for them, and we are sure
that someone else can attend to the arrangements.
However, if the funeral can be held in the late
afternoon, we will be glad to allow you to work
through your lunch hour and subsequently let you
leave 1 hour early, provided your share of the
work is ahead enough to keep the job going in
your absence.
DEATH (YOUR OWN):
This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we
require at least two weeks notice as we feel it
is your duty to train your replacement.
ALSO:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the
restroom. In the future, we will follow the
practice of going in alphabetical order. For
instance, those whose names begin with "A" will
go from 8:00-8:15, and so on. If you're unable
to go at your time, it will be necessary to
wait until the next day when your time comes
again.
We appreciate your cooperation,
THE MANAGEMENT
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