Assalamu Alaikum

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Interview Room:

Ah yes, the interview room. The place where full members come in to request to become moderators. zAk is sitting on a big comfy chair reading received resumes. There’s a near by telecommunicator in which he uses to call his messenger-metz (metsudaistwice)

zAk: *clicks button* Salam, call in Iqram plz.

Metz: w’salaam, he’ll be right in w’salaam

Soon, there’s a quiet knock on the door.

zAk: Come in.

Iqram slowly opens the door.

zAk: Have a seat, would you like anything to drink?

Iqram sits down on a hard chair. Anxiousness overcomes him.

Iqram: ah, no I’m fine Jazak Allah.

zAk: well I’m thirsty *clicks button* salaam bring in some water

Metz: *silence*

zAk: hello?? Anyone there?? *hits the buzzer button*

Metz: *no answer*

zAk looks at Iqram

zAk: *nervous laugh* he must be busy (“he better be ” zAk thinks to himself)

Iqram: yes, must be *looks around room*

zAk: *cicks button* Metz, I’m thirsty!! Where are you?! You better have not turned the power off at your end.

Metz: *pause* salaam, I’m here, I’m here, what do you want??

zAk: bring in some water.

Metz: What kind?

zAk: The kind with one oxygen atom and 2 hydrogen atoms is there really any other kind?

Metz: Well we have spring water, sugar water, purified water, flavored water, and plain tap water with your daily source of chlorine, iron, etc.

zAk: how bout some purified..

Metz: Evion? Aquafina? Dasani? Volvic?

zAk: Why don’t you just go to Saudi and get me zam zam water, they only have one kind of that.

zAk starts to laugh at his joke, Iqram stares at him wondering what’s next of his fate that this crazy man holds

Metz: Not funny bro, ill get you your water, w’salaam

zAk turns his attention back to Iqram

zAk: soo, you wanna be a mod?

Iqram: yes I do , ermm you got my application?

zAk: yes, all 20 of them…

Iqram: I thought there might have been some technical difficulties with the server or something, since no one was replying…

zAk mumbles something about computer complications and patience as he is writing.

zAk: Do you have any past experiences of being a mod? If so state which forums; if you are still part of their staff; and if you ever were laid off for any reasons; and if not, just say no.

Iqram: say “no” to which part?

zAk: *sigh* do you have any past experiences?

Iqram: If I say no, will I be rejected?

zAk: hmmm…*raises eyebrow*

Iqram: *lowers head* no.

zAk: Any negative behavior in the past that may affect your work here at LI?

Iqram: Well, there was this one time when the Imam’s son was…

zAk: *cough*

Iqram: oh that’s not what you were asking was it??

Metz walks in with a tray and water.

Metz: salaam, your water, w’salaam

He proceeds to leave.

zAk: wait one sec, why’d you take so long to answer?

Metz: What do you mean, I brought you your water right away.

zAk: No, I was calling you many times, but no answer, even Iqram saw.

He turns to Iqram waiting for him to respond as a witness to the incident

Iqram: yes, I did

Metz: Oh.. I was just erm.. I didn’t hear you, bad connection I guess..

zAk: hmmm…You were listening to SS weren’t you??

Metz: Oh, *changes subject* do you hear that??

zAk and Iqram go silent to hear.

zAk: No, what?

Metz: Kadafi is calling, erm.. gotta go, w’salaam

Metz rushes out of the door.

zAk: Kadafi? Kadafi went home…. He was listening to SS!

Iqram waits patiently.

zAk: Ahem, anyways, If v were to select you, which sections would you want? *takes a sip of water*

Iqram: Well I thought that maybe the---

zAk: *interrupts* ahh this water is warm! *clicks button* salaam, bring in some ice. Why’d you bring in warm water??

Metz: *silent*

zAk: helloo??

Metz: umm..salaam

zAk: I told you not to listen to SS on the job! You get emotional and tune the rest out.

Metz: Sorry, its just that….its so beautiful ekhi

Iqram gets emotional and steps up to the telecom

Iqram: I agree with you man, SS is the best! You keep on listening bro!

zAk looks at Iqram wondering why he’s all up on his telecom

Metz: I know, heard he’s leading fajr prayer. His reciting was so amazing today.

zAk: you know SST is also the besssst!

Metz: NO way ekhi, SS is awesome!

zAk: Ah, hes gud, but like I said, SST is equally as great!

Iqram: Metz, did you hear when he recited surah al fatiha.

Metz: yea ekhi, have it right here ;)

zAk: *rolls eyes* I’ll get my water myself. *sigh* ah lazy kids.

zAk is walking out as Iqram and metz are continuing their conversation over the telecom. Iqram makes himself at home and sits on zAk’s chair. zAk turns around

zAk: you get the hard chair, big chair is mine

Iqram: ah, yea sorry

zAk leaves the room

Metz: so whatchya doing there?

Iqram: Interview.

Metz: How’s it going?

Iqram: I dunno, have a feeling I’m not gonna get it.

Metz: Well you’ll get it Inshallah, have patience
Iqram: Barak Allahu feek.

Metz: wa feek.

Iqram: *scrambles* I hear zAk comng back

Metz: Oh, I better go before he yells at me for making him get his own drink, w’salaam

zAk returns

zAk: ok, finally I got some nice cool water.

Iqram: yea..

zAk: so you were saying, which sections??

Iqram: I wanted the generals, possibly the –

zAk: *Interups* watch this, Imma catch him listening to SS again *clicks button, smiles evilly*

Iqram: All right! Man I quit!!

zAk: you werent even hired in the first place

Iqram: well I quit the interview!! You ask me a question, then I try to answer, then you interrupt, I got a life too ya know!!

Iqram leaves and shuts the door, silence prevails over the room.

Metz: *clicks button* lost another one huh?

zAk: What!? How’d you know?

Metz: ekhi, your finger was on the telecom the whole time…

zAk: oh, yea…

Metz: well, did you want something?

zAk: umm, no I sorta forgot..

Metz: oh ok…

zAk is about to turn off the comp when he suddenly gets 20 more applications

Metz: Iqram?

zAk: yeaaaap….

Metz: poor guy, he’s never gonna get the job is he? Infact, you rejected 12 people this week…scared you’ll get replaced or something??

zAk: replaced?? Nahhh, no one can replace me

fi aman Allah
w'salaam