MashAllah this is a good thread, it really annoys me when people say doesnt the Quran say this and that, and when you say where? Theyre like somewhere Im not sure. SubhanAllah!
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anyway could someone find me where allah says those who stay in without harm arn't equal to those who fight for his sake,
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O you who believe! when you go to war in Allah's way, make investigation, and do not say to any one who offers you peace: You are not a believer. Do you seek goods of this world's life! But with Allah there are abundant gains; you too were such before, then Allah conferred a benefit on you; therefore make investigation; surely Allah is aware of what you do.
The holders back from among the believers, not having any injury, and those who strive hard in Allah's way with their property and their persons are not equal; Allah has made the strivers with their property and their persons to excel the holders back a (high) degree, and to each (class) Allah has promised good; and Allah shall grant to the strivers above the holders back a mighty reward:
(High) degrees from Him and protection and mercy, and Allah is Forgiving, Merciful. [Surah Nisa Ayah 94-96]
As for the other question, please be more precise. The thing that comes to mind is,
Therefore if you overtake them in fighting, then scatter by (making an example of) them those who are in their rear, that they may be mindful.
And if you fear treachery on the part of a people, then throw back to them on terms of equality; surely Allah does not love the treacherous.
And let not those who disbelieve think that they shall come in first; surely they will not escape.
And prepare against them what force you can and horses tied at the frontier, to frighten thereby the enemy of Allah and your enemy and others besides them, whom you do not know (but) Allah knows them; and whatever thing you will spend in Allah's way, it will be paid back to you fully and you shall not be dealt with unjustly.
And if they incline to peace, then incline to it and trust in Allah; surely He is the Hearing, the Knowing.
And if they intend to deceive you-- then surely Allah is sufficient for you;...[Surah Anfaal Ayah 57-62]
Again please be more specific.