brothers and sisters.
jazakallahu khair for your advice.
islam is the most beautiful thing. alhamdulilah. sometimes i dont realsie this until i hear the convosations of others and think about the way they live their lives. its abit scary that it could happen to you.

also, what scares me is sometimes i feel relaxed about these thoughts. like for example, i may be in the middle of class and these thoughts attak me, but i dont defend myself as much as i shold. and thats what scares me, the fact that im not scared.