your journey to Islam is not really an easy one...

at any rate... the message you need to tell those Muslims is "Judge not, lest ye be judged."

and your message for yourself..."Islam is my personal affair with Allah subhannawataallah!... Islam is my religion... I judge no one, and I can only be judged by Allah, my God... the one and only God worthy of praise and worship."

In short... who cares what they think of you... only Allah knows what is in the hearts of men... and this is what matters most. Keep striving for Islam.

Salaamualaikum.