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Originally Posted by greenisforAllah   my brothers and sisters in Islam,
I am writing here because I need help and I don't know where else to turn.
I converted to Islam about two years ago and it's been the biggest battle of my life. Ironically, I have had almost full support from my Christian and my atheist/agnostic/sometime-here-sometime-there friends and family. My problem lies in -- and I am so so sorry to say this (more than you can imagine) -- the Muslim community that I have been exposed to since then.
I think the root of the problem lies in the fact that i was dating a Muslim man and we very much in love and i wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. i knew he only wanted to marry a muslim woman BUT that is NOT the reason i converted.
Long before I met him I visitied Indonesia which stemmed my initial interest in Islam. when i came back i started studying Islamic studies and learned more and more about Islam. At that point, however, i was still very much anti-religion...not because i didn't believe in God but because i found institutionalized religion to be so hypocritical based on the experiences i had had.
But once i started dating Mr. Man, he opened the world to me with his value system and his love of God and that got me thinking: maybe I shouldn't throw out the baby with the bath water! yes, there are many many many injustices in the Muslim community and in the Hindu and the Jewish and, i know first hand a thousand times over, that Christians ain't no better; should I turn my back on the truth because some "believers" disgust me? NO!
Ay, and there's the rub: I am just not sure anymore!
The truth is ever since i converted it's been a struggle. I am constantly under a microscope: "did she just do it for him?"....even at our wedding the Imam grilled me on it! It seems that if I don't fit the form (wear higab, pray, fast, memorize qur'an, YELL out everywhere i go etc) PERFECTLY!!!! I am a hypocrite, a fake, a convert-for-profit. everything i say or do or ask has become a sure sign of my insincerity.
Worst of all, my husband has fallen into the bandwagon. He has become worst of all...but probably that's just my perception of it because to have a husband that thinks you're lying about your religion...well that hurts like hell!
sooooo, that's the background.
the question now is, what do i do? The situation has become intolerable. How can i convince people that i am truly a muslim (actually this has become a catch-22, ie. if i'm not seen praying: I'm not a real Muslim....if I'm seen praying "I'm just praying to shut people up!")
I know that Muslim (or is it just Arab (my husband's family is Egyptian) families) women have the back up of their fathers and brothers and uncles when facing difficulties in their relationships with their husbands. my family lives on another continent and they wouldn't dream of getting involved in this...and honestly i don't want them to worry AND more importantly, i don't want them to start doubting my decision to become a Muslim.
I'm in Cairo at the moment, i wouldn't know if there's an Imam or someone who might help.
shukran, thank you, gracias, danke, merci and all the best blessings on anyone who takes the time to read this, who answers, who maybe just thinks twice about judging a convert.  |
Salam Alekom Sister,
First of all you don’t have to Proof anything to anyone because it is something between you and Allah (swt) BUT
you have a problem that you need to do something to solve it, right!?
As far as I understood you have problem that family of your Husband think that you just reverted to Islam because of him and he also begin doubting this as far I understood, right!?
Of course not me or anyone here knows all the details exactly but I just can give some advices and you decide to take them or not due to what you see:
1- Talk to your Husband and tell him all what you feel, he the closest one to you and there should not be any kind of wall between you both, and he should have no doubt in you, tell him that Little doubt is SIN in Islam.
2- Talk to your Husband and his family openly and use Religion, see Islam is simply in your side in what you say and they are Muslims and Egyptians so talk to them ISLAM they will not only be proud of you but they will also will not find anything to answer or even think about that again, it is simple talk to them ISLAM and Sisters and Brothers here can help you in that!
3- Always Smile and thank Allah (swt) for everything, actually by choosing Islam this simply means Allah (swt) choose you and this is great Honor and Gift from our creator to you, and as Egyptian I really wonder how could they not be proud of you !?
4- Try to find someone who can help you in those things with your husband and his family from his family someone whom you can rely on him and whom they will listen, maybe sister of your husband, his mother etc…
5- There is Centers in Cairo were they teach Islam to non Arabic Muslims were they also teach Arabic Language where you can find a lot of sisters, friends with whom you can take advices! I can give address of one of those centers in Nasr City if this is not far for you, but after I return to Cairo (one week)!
Anyway the best way is to talk to them is by ISLAM and believe me this you can USE in a lot of situations and this will not only solve your problems but will also make them respect and appreciate you more and especially your husband!
BEST ADVICE: the best thing is to have something in common between you and your Husband and what is better then sharing each other the Love to ALLAH (swt)!?
You can go together to Omra or even Hajj if possible, pray together etc…. and by this you will win both Life and after life!
May Allah (swt) guide us all!
Peace