Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.


Q: What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A: A pool table.


Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A: A nervous wreck.


Q: Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
A: He's all right now.


Q: How does a spoiled rich girl change a light bulb?
A: She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment."


Q: What kind of lettuce was served on the Titanic?
A: Iceberg.


Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs?
A: Right where you left him.


Q: Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
A: They all have phones.


Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
A: They're trying to get away from the noise.


Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers.


Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I. Q. of 50?
A: Your honour.


Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
A: Senator.