Advisory: This is not for any true Lawyers

Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
A: Take your foot off his head.


Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
A: One's a bottom-crawling scum sucker and the other's just a fish.


Q: How do you know when your divorce is getting ugly?
A: When your lawyer doesn't seem like a bloodsucking leech anymore.


Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
A: A leech will let go and drop off when its victim dies.


Q: Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers?
A: He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.


Q: What is brown and black and looks good on a lawyer?
A: A Doberman.