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Originally Posted by The_Hidden_True  So does that mean I can only fall in love after marriage, not before it? What if my love is pure with clear intentions and not evil eye, then what my Sister? If I´m alone with her and my intentions are not pure then third party is Shaytaan, right. But what if my intentions are pure?
Let me tell you something which I think will help you get clearer image of my point:
There´s a Muslim girl in our neighborhood and I have a relationship with her that of just a friend. I admit I used to joke around with her but never looked at her with evil intentions, infact just as a friend of my sisters and thus my friend as well. One day she came to us and I was absolutely alone at home. She came to return something my mother gave her. I was surely afraid of asking her to sit around with me but I still offered her something to drink. She sat and started to drink a glass juice as I continued with my home work further. I don´t know what intentions she had or what she thought of, she embraced me from behind and said, "We are alone here. Why not let ourselves get out of control?" I said, "What are you doing? Sorry but don´t make me slap you hard!" She replied, "Why can´t we? Why can´t you be in love with me?" I said, "Love? Is that what you call love? No! This is just lust!" She started crying and asking to forgive her and she made a mistake etc. She made me promise her that I won´t tell her parents. She actually said to me, "What can I do? It´s such age I can´t control."I said, "Just pray to Allah to let yourself get through this difficult period of time." She totally agreed with me and asked, "I have met many men in this world and have actually committed so many such sins but today I saw purest of men in the world. You have just amazed me! I can´t believe some men in this world can be so good. But why didn´t you agree to it???" She asked politely. My reply was, "Because I love already fallen in love with a girl with my pure intentions and heart. I´m a Muslim and have believe in Mohammad (P.B.U.H) who asks us to refrain from committing such sins. But ever since I have met her I have truly never committed any such sin or looked at a girl with evil intentions. Just have love for her deep down in my heart." She couldn´t believe it. She said, "I have met many evil eyed men in this world but today I have truly fallen in love with someone who is so pure in his life only because of his love......" I argued a lot with her not to love me as it can only give pain to you.
Believe me Sister, I even never looked at that girl which I love with impure intentions. I infact never used to look at her, I tried my best to avoid seeing her but don´t know why but eyes were not in my control. I never had bad intentions about her - it´s what I believe you can call pure love.
Ever since then I have started to believe love is pure and it surely prevents you from committing sins.
Your thoughts on this now?????? |
I don't want to come off as harsh brother, but for you to even be alone with the sister (as I have mentioned before) is haraam, as the shaytaan is the third party present. If your niyaah is truly pure, then you would go about her learning about through purely halal means.
Brothers and sisters cannot be friends, why did Allaah forbid this? Because since his hikmah and 'ilm is far above ours, he knew what his 'alameen are susceptible to, and there's just too much fitnah that'll be behind the back of both of your minds.
The sister even asked, "Why don't we let ourselves go out of control?" That doesn't sound halal to me bro. Mashaa Allaah that you kept yourself in check (may Allaah reward you inshaa Allaah).
My thoughts on your situation is, think about whether you actually want to marry this girl. Do you love her for the sake of Allaah (fisabililah)? If you do, then you'd know that you'd have to halt speaking with her without a mahram present. From this day forward, I would have a heart to heart to myself and really think about your situation, about what you should do. Take this as an opportunity to be closer to Allaah Ta'ala, and think about your overall objective in life.
Love does exist in Islaam, indefinitely, as marriage is encouraged for those who cannot control themselves (or fasting)...but, it comes after marriage. After you marry your husband/wife, then Allaah puts love between the two of you. If you loved eachother before marriage, then there would be more fitnah and haraam between you two.