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Originally Posted by RighteousLady  As Salaam Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu
Regarding your question, Muslims should have good relations with all people, both males and females. At school, at work, in your neighborhood, etc., you should be kind and courteous to everyone. However, it is not allowed in Islam to take a non-mahram person or persons of the opposite gender as a very close friend. This kind of friendship often leads to haram.
Answering your question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and an Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states: "It is common knowledge that in Islam, fornication and adultery are grave sins and committing either bears serious consequences in this world and the Hereafter. However, what is not so well known is that while declaring fornication and adultery as haram (forbidden), Islam does not merely forbid the actual acts, but it also declares as forbidden each and every circumstance or way that leads to fornication and adultery.
Allah says, Do not come near fornication, for it is indeed lewdness and an evil life-style. (Al-Isra': 32) Explaining this, the Prophet said, The fornication of the eyes is staring, the fornication of the ears is listening, the fornication of the tongue is talking, the fornication of the hands is holding, the fornication of the feet is walking, the fornication of the heart/mind is craving and lusting, and finally, the private parts confirm or negate it. He also said, Staring is one of the arrows of Satan. In another report, he said, You are allowed to have the first accidental look (which is unintentional), but do not continue to stare.
The laws of Islam are from Allah, our Creator, who knows our weaknesses as well as our strengths better than we can ever do. Women, by nature, desire to be looked at, adored and cherished, while man is inclined to look at women. Allah, the Almighty therefore, warns us against our own natures, which may lead us astray if we do not exercise caution and take the necessary safeguards. Thus, Allah, the Almighty said, Say to the believing men to lower their gazes and guard their chastity. And say to the believing women to lower their gazes and guard their chastity and not to display their charms in public. (An-Nur: 30-31) Having friendship with members of the opposite gender may lead to staring, lustful thoughts, flirtatious behavior and seduction. Although it may not always be the case, there is no way to tell when it could happen and when it would not happen. That is why it is forbidden to mingle and mix freely with members of the opposite sex and to develop friendships with them.
It is all part of zina (fornication), which Allah and His Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) strongly ordered us to abstain from. Allah, the Almighty has given us laws in order to guard us against the evils that are inherent in our own souls. One recent study conducted about male-female interaction in the workplace concluded that one in every three women had been sexually involved with a co-worker or boss. If this is the case in a professional, business-like environment, then the potential for illicit relations in more casual circumstances has much greater potential. Thus, Allah, the Almighty has been most gracious by not only forbidding fornication and adultery, but also by closing all the doors that lead to them. http://www.islamonline.com/news/newsfull.php?newid=376 |
First of all I would like to say that I appreciate your efforts of having answered me in much more clearer way rather having just claimed the forbiddance of friendship of people of opposite sex.
Fornication? How can fornication be part of close friendship? The fact that comes here is that how you define a close friend. To me a close friend is with whom you can share most of the things which others may not be knowing (now again, it depends on your definition of "sharing things". To me it mean sharing your problems like you receive in studies, at home, normal life etc). And to you close friendship might just mean the closeness of two different bodies of opposite sex (i.e physically) which surely isnīt allowed as per Islam.
I donīt really know which recent studies you are talking about but what if even if itīs true? What if Iīm not the one amongst those who use the word "friendship" to cover up all their sexual acts? Is it still forbidden?
Allah surely "warns" us against the acts which "may" lead us to a wrong path but He doesnīt basically forbid them. Relatively speaking, there are limitless acts which "may" lead us to wrong path to commit grave sins like adultery, fornication but the basic acts are not forbidden by
Allah for his followers who have control over their minds, souls and bodies. Now tell me, is friendship between two boys forbidden or not? You know what two young boys in their peak can do united?: They can both kidnap girls and rape them, they can go to brothel to get rid off their lust. If not that then there are likely chances of boys commited an even more shameful act of homosexuality to get rid off their lust since any type of sex is not allowed before marriage.
Now answer: Is friendship between boys also termed
'Haraam' for the fact that their partnership "may" lead them to fornication and adultery? If not, then why? Similarly, the act of masturbation is a grave sin as per Islam and
Allah clearly forbids this, right? Now, is the basic act of being lonely naked in the bathroom/toilet also forbidden? If yes, then it means we should not go to toilet and try to halt it and die? If not, then does this mean
Allah here hasnīt forbidden the basic act which "may" lead us to something absolutely shameful and
'Haraam'???? My friend, committing adultery, fornication with anyone is sure not allowed in Islam but "not" the basic act of being a friend of someone.
Friendship is a very beautiful relationship made for lustless people living on this Earth. Itīs surely not for those who get married four times to fulfill their lusty desires with every different female. Infact, itīs made for those people who can mantain the relationship of friendship only with people of opposite sex in spite of getting married only once.