I am sorry for posting in the wrong thread... I guess my mind is not thinking clearly these days. Thank you so much for the concern... I really appreciate it a lot.

About the fruits of knowledge... I must admit, knowledge seems to be my strong weapon under these circumstances. But sometimes... when emotions steps in... dark thoughts play around my head.

The contemplation for divorce is pressing. But when I am refreshed by prayers... I seem to feel that this is just another test.

Sometimes - the Christian line of "Carry your own cross and follow me" thing steps in. Am I going to accept this suffering?... I am not a Christian... and the only problem I have is I live in a Christian world.

Astagfirallah... Audhubillahi minash Shaytan nir rajeem...

Salaam everyone.