This really isn't my full conversion story, because I haven't converted yet. But I thought it would be good to post something I wrote a couple of weeks ago reflecting on my life and what I have been through.


Reflections

Over the past two years I’ve learned a great deal about myself and life in general. I use to be so immature thinking I was “in love” when really I wasn’t. I would have never thought that I would say that. The reason why is because I was young, and immature. Believing that I was in love with someone who was in jail for something really stupid. I use to think me and him were “forever” its so funny how things change so fast. You would never think you’re whole life could change so drastically. From getting D’s and F’s in high school, to receiving A’s and B’s in college. Knowing that you can achieve more than you ever thought you could. I must have skipped school a hundred times, smoked, and drank alcohol. I use to think all of that was so fun to do, because everyone I was hanging with was going it along with me. I have learned that you can accomplish things you may not have even thought of doing, or even believed you could. I have learned not to take life for granted and to not let what others think or say about you get in your way. I have learned not to let someone else’s opinions stop me from achieving my dreams. I have learned that you must forgive others for their mistakes if you want to be forgiven for yours.
Finding Islam has changed my life completely. I no longer skip school, smoke, or drink. I stopped doing that almost immediately after realizing that Islam was the truth. To my surprise it wasn’t that hard giving up my old ways. They were getting pretty boring and old anyways. The first exposure I had to Islam was in my freshmen year of high school. A lot of my friends were Muslim. From time to time I would find myself asking them questions about Islam and learning more and more about it. After leaving that high school and most of my Muslim friends I really didn’t think about Islam anymore. I still smoke, drank, and skipped class. I never really started thinking about Islam until I met Asif. Meeting Asif has changed my life entirely. When I first started talking to Asif I was still doing all the same things; I was in my junior year of high school then. When we first started talking we were just friends. I was still at that time thinking I was “in love” with Matt aka Direct Tv. As Asif and I started talking more and more we became closer. We started talking more and more each day talking about everything from A to Z. As we grew closer I started to have feelings for him and we eventually started talking on the phone instead of only over the internet. While talking we started talking about religion he said he was Muslim. He started telling me more about the religion during this time it was Ramadan of 2005. Ramadan was probably the main thing that got me talking I started telling him what I knew about Islam, and he answered my questions. As time went on I continued to research Islam on my own. I started learned so many things it was all just so great. I was getting so into it. Asif and I would talk more and more. It was a relief to talk religion with someone my age. Most people either don’t want to talk about it, or feel like talking about religion will start debates. None of that happened with Asif and me. As I started learning more I started to feel like I had found something special. (Yes, in you too Asif!) Everything made since to me, there was no confusion. Asif gave me a Qur’an and I started to read it and found everything I had been looking for. Any question I had was answered almost right away in the Qur’an. I knew after reading the Qur’an that Islam was the truth.
As for right now, I’m working on telling my mom more about it. I intend to convert sometime soon. Sometimes I wish I could just convert right now, but I know I need to let my mom know first. I continue to tell my mom more and more about Islam. Almost my whole family is Catholic; most of them do not practice it though. I have started to slowly learn how to pray. I know I don’t pray as much as I should. I have no excuses for that, I guess maybe that’s just my laziness coming out. I have a lot more to learn and I look forward to learning everything I can. Right now I’m trying to find a way to tell my mom that I plan on converting to Islam. It has been hard for me to talk to her about it, since she isn’t very religious in the first place. I find myself telling her things about Christianity that she doesn’t know herself. After I convert I hope to share my story with more people. I don’t want people to get the wrong idea about my conversion. I hope nobody thinks I’m converting because of Asif. I would NEVER do something this drastic to be with someone. This is for me, and no one else. Islam has brought me peace, and I am so thankfully to God for showing me the truth!! Islam has turned me into a much better person, without Islam I would still be ruining my life with dumb actions. I continue to struggle on some things to this day, but my belief in God will make me stronger, and I will continue to become a better person each day.