I converted to Islam when I was fifteen. I was never raised in a particular religion, but I had always, even when I was tiny, believed in a God. I just didn't know which one. For a long time, I considered myself a neo-Pagan with Islamic influences, but I felt very uneasy with my spirituality right before I converted.

There are a number of reasons why I felt as though my spirituality was not in a good place. I was into drugs, alcahol, sex... You name it, I did it. I was also raped when I was fourteen on my high school grounds, and the attacker only got a five day suspension from school (this not only included the attack, but that he had smoked marijuana on school grounds), so I still saw him every day after that, and I still see him twice a week (I changed schools, but we live in the same town). Obviously, after I was raped, the amount of substances in my body shot sky high. Not only this, but I was very depressed. I ended up starving myself for a time, and I lost twenty pounds. I was already thin, too, so at this point, I was just a stick.

I convinced myself that there were no good people in the world and that God did not care about me anymore. But, that all started to change about eight months before I converted. I had a dance teacher at that time who started to notice my deteriorating body. Everyday before I went to her class, she would show up early, because I always did too, with a box of pizza that she forced me to eat. Slowly, my dance teacher got my appetite back. With my appetite came self-confidence, happiness, and in a way clarity. Before my dance teacher got me eating, I didn't want to do anything. I didn't even want to think, or grow intellectually. But now, I'm the top student in my class. As I slowly healed, I thought that maybe, in fact, God did still care about me.

At that point, I went on a journey to find my spirituality. Since I was already familiar with Islam, I decided to start there. I read the Qur'an cover to cover, and read many informative books about Islam. I visited a Mosque for the first time with a Muslim friend of mine. Everything about Islam gave me such a sense of peace. After reading the Qur'an every night, I could fall asleep in a wink, and when I learned to pray for the first time, I felt so good, almost accomplished. Everything about Islam gave me a warm feeling in my tummy, and I didn't want the feeling to leave. So, I became a Muslima.