A few days ago I went to see a lady (this wasn't spontaneous). I'll keep this as least explicit as possible but I am describing it because I want to know what the consequences are with Allah. There was nakedness, touching and in the end she used her hands on my privates.
As soon as I got home I repented vowing not to repeat it again with Allah's help. But at the same time, when I think about the incident I get aroused. My mind just gets aroused very quickly because it's the first time I went this far. Does this mean I will be forgiven?
It's said Allah does not look at those who commit Zina, is the thing that I did enough to make Allah not look at me? I did not commit full intercourse.
I am almost 30, single and virgin. Before anyone asks yes I know I need to get married I have just not found the right person and I've been rejected a few times.