it's hard to be patient when parents are old

faizacadday · **it's hard to be patient when parents are old -** 01-27-2006

I would like to begin this subject by saying i love my parents with all my heart. and nothing they do will make me feel any other way. My dad is like 70 or 80 somethin and my mom like is 60 something. My dad denies that he's that old....lol anyways at their age they yell about everything wheather it is small or big situation. My dad loves to agrue about the cabnets in the kicten beging open.( can't stop laughing about that)..or or if there's one cloth of clothing in the bathroom or the light in my room being on. i tell him that it's no biggyy i explain to him there's more to life than agruing about things this kind ...I know as parents get older the children are suppose to be all patient and everything but its soo hard... i hate to talk back to them and when things like this come up i just get up and do it so they stop yelling

What Am Asking is, is there anything else that i can do ?

And one big problem i have with my mother is that she loves to compare others to me....telling me that this girl and that girl have done this or that and then asking me "when are u going to do something.".lol it was funny the first couple times but not anymore ...... the only way of not facing all this problem is for me to get a job.......but i just want to relax a couple of hours when i come from school?

hope u can help

iqbal_ibn_adam · **Re: it's hard to be patient when parents are old -** 01-28-2006

First of all you should count yourself lucky that u have parents of that age, and Allah (swt) has given you the chance to serve them.

Below are some verses of Al-Quran that tell us how to deal with our parents

“say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour.

And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy” [al-Israa’ 17:23-24]

Every kind of annoying one's parents, whether in word or deed, is an act of disobedience which means that the child is a sinner, because it goes against the command and prohibition of Allaah, Who has commanded us to speak to them kindly and treat them kindly. It is forbidden to dishonour them by saying or doing bad things to them.

InshA have Sabar and jannah will be your abode.Ameen

Scents of Jannah · **Re: it's hard to be patient when parents are old -** 01-28-2006

Dear sis,

Your parents won't be around forever. They are already old and only Allah knows how much time they have left in this world. Please make the most of it. And if you don't want them to take notice of little things, then you should let it go aswell.

Trust me when parents tell you to do, or not do something, there is great wisdom behind it. If your father says to close the cupboard/cabinet doors, it's because he does not want anyone to get hurt, by bumping into them.
If he tells you to switch off lights when not in use, it's because he's trying to keep the bills low. Trying seeing things from their points of view and they won't look so bad. You'd do the same if you had to pay bills. Trust me.
I'm always telling my son to switch off the light when he leaves a room-and I'm not even old.

Try to have more patience sis. Appreciate them being with you up until now. Make them happy and relaxed by doing little things like giving them foot massages/head massages.. old folk especially love them. They will give you duaa and with your tender care, maybe feel more relaxed and not yell so much. Bring flowers for your mom and watch her heart melt ;) (Don't wait until Mother's Day. In Islam a mother should be shown how important and loved she is every single day, not once in a year.

Kind Treatment of Parents at Old Age

It is narrated that the Prophet, (salAllahu alayhi wasalam), repeated' "May he be humbled (or cursed)," three times. When he was asked to whom was he referring, he said, "The one who witnesses one or both parents live to old age, and does not enter Paradise (by not serving them and not treating them with ihsan)".
[Muslim]

faizacadday · **Re: it's hard to be patient when parents are old -** 01-28-2006

thank you iqbal_ibn_adam and Nadia I really appreciate the comments u have for me thanks for taking the time.

afriend2 · **Re: it's hard to be patient when parents are old -** 01-28-2006

salaam,

i think this is best suited to your situation...

"Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or more attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say, "my Lord! bestow on them Thy Mercy, even as they cherished me in childhood." (Quran 17: 23,24)

well that basically says it all,

wassalam

iqbal_ibn_adam · **Re: it's hard to be patient when parents are old -** 01-28-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by faizacadday

thank you iqbal_ibn_adam and Nadia I really appreciate the comments u have for me thanks for taking the time.

you are most welcome sis. Keep up the good work inshA.

Scents of Jannah · **Re: it's hard to be patient when parents are old -** 01-29-2006

You're welcome sis. may Allah reward you in your efforts-ameen

samina1 · **Re: it's hard to be patient when parents are old -** 01-29-2006

salam
parents.. wht can i say abt parents.. i ones had one but not anymore.. i ones thought i had one, but not really i didnt.. sometimes whn u think u have something n really u dont have it.. it hurts.. i was adopted i dont knw anythin abt parents.. but i can tell u one thing..havin parents is da biggest gift u can get from allah.. bcz without mom n dad in this dunya its hard to live.. u can have money, u can get a lover, but u cant get parents love ones thy r gone.. so to those of u who have parents plz... take care of ur parents n show thm hw percious thy mean to u in this dunya.. thts my advice to u all...
ma salam

Scents of Jannah · **Re: it's hard to be patient when parents are old -** 01-29-2006

Oh sis my heart goes out to you. Keep strong sis, only Allah knows the reasons for whatever has happened.It may be that this was the best for you. He will reward you for your suffering inshaAllah. Take care.

Lateralus63 · **Re: it's hard to be patient when parents are old -** 01-31-2006

Being annoyed by parents isnt really a big "trouble" because it happens everywhere. You just have to learn to put up with it, because when you age you might be as snappy as them.

DaNgErOuS MiNdS · **Re: it's hard to be patient when parents are old -** 01-31-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lateralus63

Being annoyed by parents isnt really a big "trouble" because it happens everywhere. You just have to learn to put up with it, because when you age you might be as snappy as them.

agreed

MetSudaisTwice · **Page Updated: 25/05/2006**

salam
they are your parents, no matter what age or look they are, they have cared for you when you was young, so treating them bad just because they are old is totally ungrateful and selfish. you shouldn't even be thinking of them being a burden on you becasue without parents where would you be? paradise lies under the feet of your mother
wasalam

mizan_aliashraf · **Re: it's hard to be patient when parents are old -** 01-31-2006

Salam
This thread brings tears to my eyes. My parents were especially patient with me. I was born completely blind and had to go through serious surgery when i was only 3 months old. Now, aged 22, and after 17 major operations with my parents by my side, i know i have to show them my utmost respect and patience. Indeed, paradise lies beneath the feet of your mother.
Wassalam

papa_smurf · **Re: it's hard to be patient when parents are old -** 01-31-2006

From what i gather the poorer and less resourceful class of people pay more attention to their parents and other elderly individuals and express more sympathy, love and sincerety. Like many of us, accumulation of wealth becomes a curse if human relations are ignored. To such persons family life is full of strife and turmoil. (Thats how people in indo-pak thinks of me)

I experienced a whole new side when i visited my pops village in india a couple of month's back. I usually joke around with my pops on a huge scale, i also count him as a best friend, but this all backlashed on my visit to India

, where the people couldn't beleive as to how i was behaving with my pops. I for sure know pops dont mind, he often cheers me up when im at work with a quick call etc etc. I was told to respect my dad (that i do), and telling my pops to be strict with me.

. These people dont understand the relationship we have as a father and son, and pops just tells me to ignore them, but how can you!!

. Me and my pops often go out in jammats, help the muslim community as best as we can, and people back in india tells me basic islamic rulings, as if i am a kid. They often tell my pops that im spoiled cause i have money. What!!

Nothing will change the way i behave with my pops as he loves me and i love him.

modez · **Re: it's hard to be patient when parents are old -** 01-31-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by papa_smurf

From what i gather the poorer and less resourceful class of people pay more attention to their parents and other elderly individuals and express more sympathy, love and sincerety. Like many of us, accumulation of wealth becomes a curse if human relations are ignored. To such persons family life is full of strife and turmoil. (Thats how people in indo-pak thinks of me)

I experienced a whole new side when i visited my pops village in india a couple of month's back. I usually joke around with my pops on a huge scale, i also count him as a best friend, but this all backlashed on my visit to India

, where the people couldn't beleive as to how i was behaving with my pops. I for sure know pops dont mind, he often cheers me up when im at work with a quick call etc etc. I was told to respect my dad (that i do), and telling my pops to be strict with me.

. These people dont understand the relationship we have as a father and son, and pops just tells me to ignore them, but how can you!!

. Me and my pops often go out in jammats, help the muslim community as best as we can, and people back in india tells me basic islamic rulings, as if i am a kid. They often tell my pops that im spoiled cause i have money. What!!

Nothing will change the way i behave with my pops as he loves me and i love him.

stick 2 your own ways brother, its cool to have a father like that

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faizacadday Junior Member Status: Offline Posts: 43 Reputation: 12 Rep Power: 0 Join Date: Jan 2006 Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	it's hard to be patient when parents are old - 01-27-2006 I would like to begin this subject by saying i love my parents with all my heart. and nothing they do will make me feel any other way. My dad is like 70 or 80 somethin and my mom like is 60 something. My dad denies that he's that old....lol anyways at their age they yell about everything wheather it is small or big situation. My dad loves to agrue about the cabnets in the kicten beging open.( can't stop laughing about that)..or or if there's one cloth of clothing in the bathroom or the light in my room being on. i tell him that it's no biggyy i explain to him there's more to life than agruing about things this kind ...I know as parents get older the children are suppose to be all patient and everything but its soo hard... i hate to talk back to them and when things like this come up i just get up and do it so they stop yelling What Am Asking is, is there anything else that i can do ? And one big problem i have with my mother is that she loves to compare others to me....telling me that this girl and that girl have done this or that and then asking me "when are u going to do something.".lol it was funny the first couple times but not anymore ...... the only way of not facing all this problem is for me to get a job.......but i just want to relax a couple of hours when i come from school? hope u can help

	(#2 (permalink))
iqbal_ibn_adam LI Senior Member Status: Offline Posts: 390 Reputation: 247 Rep Power: 18 Join Date: Jan 2006 Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: it's hard to be patient when parents are old - 01-28-2006 First of all you should count yourself lucky that u have parents of that age, and Allah (swt) has given you the chance to serve them. Below are some verses of Al-Quran that tell us how to deal with our parents “say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy” [al-Israa’ 17:23-24] Every kind of annoying one's parents, whether in word or deed, is an act of disobedience which means that the child is a sinner, because it goes against the command and prohibition of Allaah, Who has commanded us to speak to them kindly and treat them kindly. It is forbidden to dishonour them by saying or doing bad things to them. InshA have Sabar and jannah will be your abode.Ameen __________________ To ask a question is to show ignorance; not to ask a question, means you remain ignorant

	(#3 (permalink))
Scents of Jannah I Love al-Quran Status: Offline Posts: 4,661 Reputation: 18931 Rep Power: 50 Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Don't no one dare steal my poemz. Or else Allah's gonna sort u out for me :D Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: it's hard to be patient when parents are old - 01-28-2006 Dear sis, Your parents won't be around forever. They are already old and only Allah knows how much time they have left in this world. Please make the most of it. And if you don't want them to take notice of little things, then you should let it go aswell. Trust me when parents tell you to do, or not do something, there is great wisdom behind it. If your father says to close the cupboard/cabinet doors, it's because he does not want anyone to get hurt, by bumping into them. If he tells you to switch off lights when not in use, it's because he's trying to keep the bills low. Trying seeing things from their points of view and they won't look so bad. You'd do the same if you had to pay bills. Trust me. I'm always telling my son to switch off the light when he leaves a room-and I'm not even old. Try to have more patience sis. Appreciate them being with you up until now. Make them happy and relaxed by doing little things like giving them foot massages/head massages.. old folk especially love them. They will give you duaa and with your tender care, maybe feel more relaxed and not yell so much. Bring flowers for your mom and watch her heart melt ;) (Don't wait until Mother's Day. In Islam a mother should be shown how important and loved she is every single day, not once in a year. Kind Treatment of Parents at Old Age It is narrated that the Prophet, (salAllahu alayhi wasalam), repeated' "May he be humbled (or cursed)," three times. When he was asked to whom was he referring, he said, "The one who witnesses one or both parents live to old age, and does not enter Paradise (by not serving them and not treating them with ihsan)". [Muslim] __________________ Jannah is only two steps away. Put one foot on your nafs and the other one will take you to Jannah. InshaAllah. Important plz read: May Allah grant scentsofjannah & her son, success in this world and the Akhirah. Ameen. lololol JazakAllah khair & same to you

	(#4 (permalink))
faizacadday Junior Member Status: Offline Posts: 43 Reputation: 12 Rep Power: 0 Join Date: Jan 2006 Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: it's hard to be patient when parents are old - 01-28-2006 thank you iqbal_ibn_adam and Nadia I really appreciate the comments u have for me thanks for taking the time.

	(#5 (permalink))
afriend2 Account Disabled Status: Offline Posts: 3,416 Reputation: 7119 Rep Power: 0 Join Date: Jul 2005 Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: it's hard to be patient when parents are old - 01-28-2006 salaam, i think this is best suited to your situation... "Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or more attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say, "my Lord! bestow on them Thy Mercy, even as they cherished me in childhood." (Quran 17: 23,24) well that basically says it all, wassalam

	(#7 (permalink))
Scents of Jannah I Love al-Quran Status: Offline Posts: 4,661 Reputation: 18931 Rep Power: 50 Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Don't no one dare steal my poemz. Or else Allah's gonna sort u out for me :D Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: it's hard to be patient when parents are old - 01-29-2006 You're welcome sis. may Allah reward you in your efforts-ameen __________________ Jannah is only two steps away. Put one foot on your nafs and the other one will take you to Jannah. InshaAllah. Important plz read: May Allah grant scentsofjannah & her son, success in this world and the Akhirah. Ameen. lololol JazakAllah khair & same to you

	(#8 (permalink))
samina1 Simply The Best! Status: Offline Posts: 157 Reputation: 54 Rep Power: 20 Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Near Heaven Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: it's hard to be patient when parents are old - 01-29-2006 salam parents.. wht can i say abt parents.. i ones had one but not anymore.. i ones thought i had one, but not really i didnt.. sometimes whn u think u have something n really u dont have it.. it hurts.. i was adopted i dont knw anythin abt parents.. but i can tell u one thing..havin parents is da biggest gift u can get from allah.. bcz without mom n dad in this dunya its hard to live.. u can have money, u can get a lover, but u cant get parents love ones thy r gone.. so to those of u who have parents plz... take care of ur parents n show thm hw percious thy mean to u in this dunya.. thts my advice to u all... ma salam

	(#9 (permalink))
Scents of Jannah I Love al-Quran Status: Offline Posts: 4,661 Reputation: 18931 Rep Power: 50 Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Don't no one dare steal my poemz. Or else Allah's gonna sort u out for me :D Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: it's hard to be patient when parents are old - 01-29-2006 Oh sis my heart goes out to you. Keep strong sis, only Allah knows the reasons for whatever has happened.It may be that this was the best for you. He will reward you for your suffering inshaAllah. Take care. __________________ Jannah is only two steps away. Put one foot on your nafs and the other one will take you to Jannah. InshaAllah. Important plz read: May Allah grant scentsofjannah & her son, success in this world and the Akhirah. Ameen. lololol JazakAllah khair & same to you

	(#10 (permalink))
Lateralus63 LI Senior Member Status: Offline Posts: 272 Reputation: 398 Rep Power: 22 Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: London Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: it's hard to be patient when parents are old - 01-31-2006 Being annoyed by parents isnt really a big "trouble" because it happens everywhere. You just have to learn to put up with it, because when you age you might be as snappy as them. __________________ Post count means nothing. So dont pursue it.

	(#12 (permalink))
MetSudaisTwice SS NUMBER 1 FAN Status: Offline Posts: 6,837 Reputation: 5977 Rep Power: 36 Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Planet called Earth apparently Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: it's hard to be patient when parents are old - 01-31-2006 salam they are your parents, no matter what age or look they are, they have cared for you when you was young, so treating them bad just because they are old is totally ungrateful and selfish. you shouldn't even be thinking of them being a burden on you becasue without parents where would you be? paradise lies under the feet of your mother wasalam __________________ Visit My Page for many recitations from known Imams and Quraa's Page Updated: 25/05/2006 New recordings of Sheikh Saad Numani, Imitator of Famous Imams and Quraa's added!!

	(#13 (permalink))
mizan_aliashraf Taalib al-'Ilm Status: Offline Posts: 933 Reputation: 1578 Rep Power: 20 Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Allah Knows Best Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: it's hard to be patient when parents are old - 01-31-2006 Salam This thread brings tears to my eyes. My parents were especially patient with me. I was born completely blind and had to go through serious surgery when i was only 3 months old. Now, aged 22, and after 17 major operations with my parents by my side, i know i have to show them my utmost respect and patience. Indeed, paradise lies beneath the feet of your mother. Wassalam

	(#14 (permalink))
papa_smurf LI Senior Member Status: Offline Posts: 147 Reputation: 403 Rep Power: 18 Join Date: Jan 2006 Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: it's hard to be patient when parents are old - 01-31-2006 From what i gather the poorer and less resourceful class of people pay more attention to their parents and other elderly individuals and express more sympathy, love and sincerety. Like many of us, accumulation of wealth becomes a curse if human relations are ignored. To such persons family life is full of strife and turmoil. (Thats how people in indo-pak thinks of me) I experienced a whole new side when i visited my pops village in india a couple of month's back. I usually joke around with my pops on a huge scale, i also count him as a best friend, but this all backlashed on my visit to India , where the people couldn't beleive as to how i was behaving with my pops. I for sure know pops dont mind, he often cheers me up when im at work with a quick call etc etc. I was told to respect my dad (that i do), and telling my pops to be strict with me.. These people dont understand the relationship we have as a father and son, and pops just tells me to ignore them, but how can you!! . Me and my pops often go out in jammats, help the muslim community as best as we can, and people back in india tells me basic islamic rulings, as if i am a kid. They often tell my pops that im spoiled cause i have money. What!! Nothing will change the way i behave with my pops as he loves me and i love him.