Husband&wife: how much affection is it appropriate to show in front of the family?

whitemuslimah

My question is how much affection is it appropriate to show for husband and wife in fron of other family members? What does islam allow or encourage? Is it ok to hold hands... for a husband to put his arm around his wife ... for a wife to sit on her husbands lap ... a kiss on a cheek ... say i love you on the phone when there's other family member present?

Could anyone give some examples from Quran or hadith, what did Prophet used to do?

Jazakallah to anybody trying to enlighten me.

AvarAllahNoor

I'm sure it's common knowledge to remain respectful in the company of other people, Nothing worse than a couple all over each other in public! It's also culturally wrong. Sitting next to your partner without groping him/her shows maturity and self-control.

whitemuslimah

I believe none of the things i have mentioned mean a couple being all over each other. What the above poster said is just common knowledge and obvious indeed

Quote:

Originally Posted by AvarAllahNoor

I'm sure it's common knowledge to remain respectful in the company of other people, Nothing worse than a couple all over each other in public! It's also culturally wrong. Sitting next to your partner without groping him/her shows maturity and self-control.

my question was showing affection to what degree does still remain respectful, preferably with some sourses as to where the info was taken from. Sorry, if i did not make it clear.

Layla454

You have to be aware of cultural sensitivities and so I think it would be best if you do these things in private insha Allah

glo

As I understand it, whitemuslimah is asking about Islamic rulings, rather than cultural views ...

Quote:

Originally Posted by whitemuslimah

Could anyone give some examples from Quran or hadith, what did Prophet used to do?

I remember once asking about whether it was allowed for Muslim couples to hold hands in public (because I have never seen Muslim couples in my community doing so). The opinion then seemed to be that there was no Islamic reason not do hold hands, and that depending on cultural background some muslims did hold hands ...

Malaikah

In a situation like this the Islamic view may very well be the culture view, i.e. if it is offensive in the culture, don't do it even if Islam permits it. I don't know what the Islamic cut off line is.

Personally, i don't see anything wrong with holding hands but to sit on your husbands lap, wow that's way to far!

Layla454

Quote:

Originally Posted by glo

As I understand it, whitemuslimah is asking about Islamic rulings, rather than cultural views ...

Just like Malaikah said, it may be offensive to certain cultures so even if it was islamically permitted, then it would be better to refrain in order to not cause offence

Suffiyan007

Quote:

Originally Posted by whitemuslimah

My question is how much affection is it appropriate to show for husband and wife in fron of other family members? What does islam allow or encourage? Is it ok to hold hands... for a husband to put his arm around his wife ... for a wife to sit on her husbands lap ... a kiss on a cheek ... say i love you on the phone when there's other family member present?

Could anyone give some examples from Quran or hadith, what did Prophet used to do?

Jazakallah to anybody trying to enlighten me.

tHIS IS JUST NORMAL..FOR AMERICAN...AND ENGLAND KISSING,HUGGING AND ETC IF NON-MUSLIM....IS OK...THEN MUSLIM IS HARAM..! MAYBE KHALWAT...
IF U THINK IS OK...SO OK LAH...SO BE OPEN-MINDED!

- Serene - · 10:54 AM

It depends on your culture. Personally, I think that holding hands should be the limit in front of people. It shows a lack of modesty of you go further, e.g. kissing, etc. (even though they are your spouse).

- Serene -

Quote:

Originally Posted by Suffiyan007

tHIS IS JUST NORMAL..FOR AMERICAN...AND ENGLAND KISSING,HUGGING AND ETC IF NON-MUSLIM....IS OK...THEN MUSLIM IS HARAM..! MAYBE KHALWAT...
IF U THINK IS OK...SO OK LAH...SO BE OPEN-MINDED!

Brother, think about what you are saying. It is normal for non Muslims because they do not have modesty, it is not normal for Muslims because we should have modesty.

Lonely Gal

I don't believe it is necessary to do such things in front of other family members. Even holding hands, surely a couple can sit there without holding hands. Must have time during the day to this and kiss etc when family is not around.

Suffiyan007

Quote:

Originally Posted by - Serene -

Brother, think about what you are saying. It is normal for non Muslims because they do not have modesty, it is not normal for Muslims because we should have modesty.

Yes, i do know.what i am gonna said is ok for non-muslim....cause no modesty.ya i know.i said for muslim husband and wife,can kiss and hug and etc..just do it when no one seeing...in the house.! i have seen husband and wife kissing and hugging in front of their children...for american! is normal for them.!

glo

Quote:

Originally Posted by Malaikah

Personally, i don't see anything wrong with holding hands but to sit on your husbands lap, wow that's way to far!

Quote:

Originally Posted by anonymous

Lol thats embarassin bein al over each other in front of fa,ily for the FAMILY if not for the couple id never do dat wit my hubby man
leave dat 4 d bedroom ahahah

Quote:

Originally Posted by Layla454

Just like Malaikah said, it may be offensive to certain cultures so even if it was islamically permitted, then it would be better to refrain in order to not cause offence

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lonely Gal

I don't believe it is necessary to do such things in front of other family members. Even holding hands, surely a couple can sit there without holding hands. Must have time during the day to this and kiss etc when family is not around.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnonymousGender

go for it wen de fam int lukin! no wait dnt...coz den.. erm..
jst dnt do it, but hold hands iz cute wen couples do dat ..ahhhh

Quote:

Originally Posted by - Serene -

Personally, I think there should be the limit of holding hands in front of the family members. Other than that, people say you lack modesty.

All these seems to be personal opinions.

Does anybody know what exactly the official Islamic rulings in this matter are?
I feel whitemuslimah is still waiting for an answer to her question ...

- Serene -

Hey glo,

No offence or anything, but it is really simple, is it not? What is considered modest and what is not? I guess it can depend on your culture though...

Suffiyan007

if you love your wife/love your husband no harm show affection in front of people,either relatives or parents of the husband and wife...the parents also showing affective to the love one...! cause if u love someone,u wil hug or kiss on forehead or cheek....rather mouth to show obvious...so if u love your wife u can hug whether is in public...and people just ignored what u did...even your parents kissing and hugging..! just to make happening..! i not that kind of narrow minded...! i know muslim restricted cause the act is inappropriate, cause married couple is married,if not marry yet is haram..cause Khalwat,the act for the couple not yet married and have an affair..for me husband and wife kissing and hugging in front family is to make witness from the family to see them their like loving and happiness couple.! other will feel hope they be in love again.!

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	(#1 (permalink))
whitemuslimah Member Status: Offline Posts: 57 Reputation: 118 Rep Power: 15 Join Date: May 2006 Location: England Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Husband&wife: how much affection is it appropriate to show in front of the family? - 07-03-2008 My question is how much affection is it appropriate to show for husband and wife in fron of other family members? What does islam allow or encourage? Is it ok to hold hands... for a husband to put his arm around his wife ... for a wife to sit on her husbands lap ... a kiss on a cheek ... say i love you on the phone when there's other family member present? Could anyone give some examples from Quran or hadith, what did Prophet used to do? Jazakallah to anybody trying to enlighten me.

	(#2 (permalink))
AvarAllahNoor Status: Offline Posts: 3,223 Reputation: 5277 Rep Power: 24 Join Date: May 2006 Gender: Way of Life: Sikh	Re: Husband&wife: how much affection is it appropriate to show in front of the family - 07-03-2008 I'm sure it's common knowledge to remain respectful in the company of other people, Nothing worse than a couple all over each other in public! It's also culturally wrong. Sitting next to your partner without groping him/her shows maturity and self-control. __________________ Ėk Gusā Alhu Mėrā The One Lord, the Lord of the World, is my God Allah. Dhan Guru Arjan Dev Mahraaj Ji! Kal Meh Bėḏ Atharbaṇ Hū Nā Kẖuḏā Alhu Bẖa. In the Dark Age of Kali Yuga, the Atharva Veda became prominent; Allah became the Name of God. Dhan Guru Nanak Dev Mahraaj Ji!

	(#4 (permalink))
Layla454 LI Senior Member Status: Offline Posts: 108 Reputation: 78 Rep Power: 3 Join Date: May 2008 Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Husband&wife: how much affection is it appropriate to show in front of the family - 07-03-2008 You have to be aware of cultural sensitivities and so I think it would be best if you do these things in private insha Allah __________________ ~~~Alhamdulilah~~~

	(#6 (permalink))
Malaikah Extremophile Status: Offline Posts: 6,595 Reputation: 23861 Rep Power: 55 Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Swimming with thermus aquaticus in Yellowstone National Park Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Husband&wife: how much affection is it appropriate to show in front of the family - 07-04-2008 In a situation like this the Islamic view may very well be the culture view, i.e. if it is offensive in the culture, don't do it even if Islam permits it. I don't know what the Islamic cut off line is. Personally, i don't see anything wrong with holding hands but to sit on your husbands lap, wow that's way to far! __________________

	(#9 (permalink))
- Serene - RelyingOnlyOnAllaah~ Status: Offline Posts: 13,513 Reputation: 44392 Rep Power: 84 Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Jus restin..as a traveller..in the shade of a tree..until I reach my destination = Jannah (Ameen)... Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Husband&wife: how much affection is it appropriate to show in front of the family - 07-04-2008 It depends on your culture. Personally, I think that holding hands should be the limit in front of people. It shows a lack of modesty of you go further, e.g. kissing, etc. (even though they are your spouse). __________________ I yearn not to feel, Not to experience this pain This emotion that breaks me, and makes me whole once again ^ Click to read all ^ Last edited by LI-Staff; 07-05-2008 at 10:54 AM.

	(#11 (permalink))
Lonely Gal LI Senior Member Status: Offline Posts: 260 Reputation: 469 Rep Power: 3 Join Date: May 2008 Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Husband&wife: how much affection is it appropriate to show in front of the family - 07-04-2008 I don't believe it is necessary to do such things in front of other family members. Even holding hands, surely a couple can sit there without holding hands. Must have time during the day to this and kiss etc when family is not around.

	(#14 (permalink))
- Serene - RelyingOnlyOnAllaah~ Status: Offline Posts: 13,513 Reputation: 44392 Rep Power: 84 Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Jus restin..as a traveller..in the shade of a tree..until I reach my destination = Jannah (Ameen)... Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Husband&wife: how much affection is it appropriate to show in front of the family - 07-04-2008 Hey glo, No offence or anything, but it is really simple, is it not? What is considered modest and what is not? I guess it can depend on your culture though... __________________ I yearn not to feel, Not to experience this pain This emotion that breaks me, and makes me whole once again ^ Click to read all ^

	(#15 (permalink))
Suffiyan007 my happy teletubbies Status: Offline Posts: 402 Reputation: 435 Rep Power: 2 Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Dangerous World Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Husband&wife: how much affection is it appropriate to show in front of the family - 07-04-2008 if you love your wife/love your husband no harm show affection in front of people,either relatives or parents of the husband and wife...the parents also showing affective to the love one...! cause if u love someone,u wil hug or kiss on forehead or cheek....rather mouth to show obvious...so if u love your wife u can hug whether is in public...and people just ignored what u did...even your parents kissing and hugging..! just to make happening..! i not that kind of narrow minded...! i know muslim restricted cause the act is inappropriate, cause married couple is married,if not marry yet is haram..cause Khalwat,the act for the couple not yet married and have an affair..for me husband and wife kissing and hugging in front family is to make witness from the family to see them their like loving and happiness couple.! other will feel hope they be in love again.! __________________ Caliph Suffiyan007.servant of Allah SWT.