teenage children - HELP! - Page 3

glo · **Re: teenage children - HELP! -** 07-19-2008

^ LOL
I'd love to know your true identity, anon!

How old are you?

Amatul Wadud · **Re: teenage children - HELP! -** 07-19-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by glo

^ LOL
I'd love to know your true identity, anon!

How old are you?

Lol I believe she's 19...she gave away her true identity with her spelling

**Woodrow** · **Re: teenage children - HELP! -** 07-19-2008

From a psychological viewpoint many teens become overwhelmed with the sudden impact of decision making, responsibilities so they revert back to a time of their greatest comfort,which would be babyhood. Totally cared for with all needs provided by others and no need for decisions.

It is almost always a temporary condition that seems to come and go usually lasting a few weeks at a time. However, if it persists for long periods at a time say 2-3 months I would be concerned about the possability of depression and seek a physical and psycholgical consultation.

anonymous · **Re: teenage children - HELP! -** 07-19-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by glo

Now, I am the mother of a teenage daughter ...
I know that there are many youngsters here in this forum, so I come to you for advice.

My daughter is 14, and - as far as I can see - has no interests other than sitting in her room, playing her DS or spending time chatting to friends on the computer.
Okay, so I exaggerate slightly ... she also likes reading and she has just started playing the flute.

Thing is, she seems to have hardly any energy or motivation to do anything that requires an even small amount of physical effort. Housework, homework, her paper round, even going for a walk or to the shops ... everything seems too much!
She seems more like and old woman than a young girl!

I took her to the doctor to have her checked over and her iron levels tested. But physically she seems fine.

Is this a teenage thing?
What should I do? Be gentle and understanding (heck, I am not feeling understanding!

)
Be tough?

Please, young and old people out there, give me your thoughts and advice!

Thanks

I wouldnt wory too much sis, that sounds like me n im 22!!!! Its just called bein lazyyyyy- iv bin like that al ma life Lol, i kno how it is. u wake up at 1, dont do a thing around the house, eat sleep watch telly, on 4n al nyt sleep l8 then cycle starts al over again

dats MEEEEE

peãrl · **Re: teenage children - HELP! -** 07-19-2008

Hey Glo Glo:P:P

Having just left my teen years I can tell you....not to worry! Your daughter is quite a normal teenager. Its possible, as other members have said, that she wants to be accepted as an adult. However, she may just be finding it difficult to cope with the transition process. Your daughter is probably going through many physical changes at the moment and it can be quite upsetting and even traumatic. I myself lost alot of confidence and did want to be away from everyone for a little while.

In my opinion, nagging never works.. it will only make them resent you. Just make her aware that she is responsible for her own mess and your not going to do it for her. Be firm with it and dont do it for her! Otherwise she will get used to being mollycoddled and wont learn to take responsibility for her actions. In my house everyone is involved in the cleaning and we do it together... like okay everyone lets spend 30 minutes cleaning and then you can do whatever you want for the rest of the day. Nobody will bug you.

Other than that, quite simply, be her friend. Dont over do it..just let her know that you love her and that you'll be there if she needs you. Let her approach you about her problems.

Try to find out what shes passionate about and support her and encourage her in her interests. Say she likes horses...you could arrange visits and maybe even horse riding lessons. She might be growing up but shes still your little baby...and she might not admit it but she still needs you. xx

truemuslim · **Re: teenage children - HELP! -** 07-20-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by glo

I sense that the boys here are having a different perspective!

I think my dauhgter would die if I took her to the skatepark!

im not a boy

Lol yah i kno, skateparks are only for wwhen ur brother forces u to watch all his tricks he can do...before he can do them..(so ur pretty much watching him learn

)

But yah i think shopping is best. go to like a kwl mall or something...after she gets better that is. Hope she gets well

**Mikayeel** · 03:28 AM

When I was 14-15, I was lazy! Very lazy, all i did was eat, and play on the computer alot. I did not care about the housework and all that stuff. Untill my parents and my older sister decided to make a timetable for the housework, and if i did not do my job then i would not play on the computer for example.

When i was 15-16, I started playing sport. THis helped alot, it made me feel full of energy, and my self esteem went up. The diet is also very important. Lots of slow releasing carbohydrates and proteins! And ofcourse your 5 a day! These things really do help, I can assure u

Laila100 · **Re: teenage children - HELP! -** 07-20-2008

I am a teenager, the same thing is with me. My mom calls me morobbi - the eldest in the family. but she is not so worried about it that much. She thinks I am growing up and I should be given enough time to spent for myself.
Even in my studies she never pressurizes me Alhamdulillah and um doing fine with it.
Dont take this so seriously as time passes she will understand and can handle all the situations. She needs enough space to learn from life.
Be always kind with her and win her heart. She obviously loves you. Welcome her to come to you incase of any problem if you be too tough with her she will start avoiding you. If you be nice with her she is gonna be the one coming to you in case of any problem and share her feelings with you.
Just be nice and appreciating like my mom. Incase I am too out of track her kind advices and suggestions helps me out always.

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	(#31 (permalink))
glo Hier stehe ich. Status: Offline Posts: 3,993 Reputation: 17172 Rep Power: 40 Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: England Gender: Way of Life: Christian	Re: teenage children - HELP! - 07-19-2008 ^ LOL I'd love to know your true identity, anon! How old are you? __________________ glo "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference."

	(#33 (permalink))
Woodrow Abdullah Muhammad Status: Offline Posts: 11,242 Reputation: 59186 Rep Power: 100 Join Date: May 2006 Location: Minnesota Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: teenage children - HELP! - 07-19-2008 From a psychological viewpoint many teens become overwhelmed with the sudden impact of decision making, responsibilities so they revert back to a time of their greatest comfort,which would be babyhood. Totally cared for with all needs provided by others and no need for decisions. It is almost always a temporary condition that seems to come and go usually lasting a few weeks at a time. However, if it persists for long periods at a time say 2-3 months I would be concerned about the possability of depression and seek a physical and psycholgical consultation. __________________

	(#35 (permalink))
peãrl LI Senior Member Status: Offline Posts: 282 Reputation: 2792 Rep Power: 27 Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: In a fairytale... Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: teenage children - HELP! - 07-19-2008 Hey Glo Glo:P:P Having just left my teen years I can tell you....not to worry! Your daughter is quite a normal teenager. Its possible, as other members have said, that she wants to be accepted as an adult. However, she may just be finding it difficult to cope with the transition process. Your daughter is probably going through many physical changes at the moment and it can be quite upsetting and even traumatic. I myself lost alot of confidence and did want to be away from everyone for a little while. In my opinion, nagging never works.. it will only make them resent you. Just make her aware that she is responsible for her own mess and your not going to do it for her. Be firm with it and dont do it for her! Otherwise she will get used to being mollycoddled and wont learn to take responsibility for her actions. In my house everyone is involved in the cleaning and we do it together... like okay everyone lets spend 30 minutes cleaning and then you can do whatever you want for the rest of the day. Nobody will bug you. Other than that, quite simply, be her friend. Dont over do it..just let her know that you love her and that you'll be there if she needs you. Let her approach you about her problems. Try to find out what shes passionate about and support her and encourage her in her interests. Say she likes horses...you could arrange visits and maybe even horse riding lessons. She might be growing up but shes still your little baby...and she might not admit it but she still needs you. xx __________________ Islam began as something strange and will go back to being something strange. So glad tidings to the strangers. ~Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). Smile. Its Sunnah.

	(#37 (permalink))
Mikayeel Status: Offline Posts: 1,638 Reputation: 14940 Rep Power: 25 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Cardiff, Wales Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: teenage children - HELP! - 07-20-2008 When I was 14-15, I was lazy! Very lazy, all i did was eat, and play on the computer alot. I did not care about the housework and all that stuff. Untill my parents and my older sister decided to make a timetable for the housework, and if i did not do my job then i would not play on the computer for example. When i was 15-16, I started playing sport. THis helped alot, it made me feel full of energy, and my self esteem went up. The diet is also very important. Lots of slow releasing carbohydrates and proteins! And ofcourse your 5 a day! These things really do help, I can assure u __________________ Last edited by Mikayeel; 07-20-2008 at 03:28 AM..

	(#38 (permalink))
Laila100 LI teens Status: Offline Posts: 87 Reputation: 361 Rep Power: 3 Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: in dunya...worshipping only Allah Subhaanua ta'ala Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: teenage children - HELP! - 07-20-2008 I am a teenager, the same thing is with me. My mom calls me morobbi - the eldest in the family. but she is not so worried about it that much. She thinks I am growing up and I should be given enough time to spent for myself. Even in my studies she never pressurizes me Alhamdulillah and um doing fine with it. Dont take this so seriously as time passes she will understand and can handle all the situations. She needs enough space to learn from life. Be always kind with her and win her heart. She obviously loves you. Welcome her to come to you incase of any problem if you be too tough with her she will start avoiding you. If you be nice with her she is gonna be the one coming to you in case of any problem and share her feelings with you. Just be nice and appreciating like my mom. Incase I am too out of track her kind advices and suggestions helps me out always.