Help! Im scared!

AnonymousGender · **Help! Im scared! -** 07-21-2008

Im so scared, i am getting married next summer and im afraid ill make mistakes or i wont be able to please my husband or his family!

Im young, i learn everyday how to be a better person, but what if they dont like me! What if i say or do something stupid!
My family lets things go because i am their daughter/sister......but its diff when you go into someone elses family. They are less likely to let things go...

i cried today because im so scared

Fighting4Iman · **Re: Help! Im scared! -** 07-22-2008

Assalamu Alaikum

InshaAllaah if your moving into a good respectable family they will understand your age and situation and will be leniant towards you. Dont stress too much over not looking bad because then you'll always be stiff and tense, be calm and be your pious self.

Sorry, cant give much more advice..

AnonymousGender · **Re: Help! Im scared! -** 07-22-2008

Haaaallo,

seriously mate, nothing to worry about, you dun needa be with the family all the time, you can move out with your hubby and visit time to time, am sure you'll be jut fine, and your future hubby will be there by your side, what's there to worry about?

Make loadsa dua and you should be fine inshaAllaah,

Plus if you're well behaved or atleast try your best, nothing should really go wrong, unless they're stooopid, but let's not go there,

Be a good Muslimah, Buh bye

Fighting4Iman · **Re: Help! Im scared! -** 07-22-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnonymousGender

Haaaallo,

seriously mate, nothing to worry about, you dun needa be with the family all the time, you can move out with your hubby and visit time to time,

moving out aint always the solution

its normally the beginning of huge problems

UNLESS your parents WANT you to move out

ok maybe this only counts with some cultures but if your paki/bangi i wud say do NOT move out UNLESS your parents want you to and give permission.

because moving out can cause the mother to feel like you stole her son.... ESPECIALLY if you end up visiting like once a week or two

AnonymousGender · **Re: Help! Im scared! -** 07-22-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim

moving out aint always the solution

its normally the beginning of huge problems

UNLESS your parents WANT you to move out

ok maybe this only counts with some cultures but if your paki/bangi i wud say do NOT move out UNLESS your parents want you to and give permission.

because moving out can cause the mother to feel like you stole her son.... ESPECIALLY if you end up visiting like once a week or two

Haaallo,

Akhi your face has gone a funny colour and now I am worried,

Why should it be there problem, he would be a married man, surely they moved out themselves? correct? You can;t live with your rents all your life, if you are old enough to fend for yourself, you should do so, but continue to support your family and visit them, cutting family ties is a big issue and if what you say is true, I would be patient and stay in his house,

Ciao.

Anon#2 again.

qassy! · **Re: Help! Im scared! -** 07-22-2008

Salam

THere is nothing to be scared of. AS LONG as you dont do this:

http://www.islamicboard.com/general/...age-islam.html

AnonymousGender · **Re: Help! Im scared! -** 07-22-2008

thank you

we will be living with them only for part of the year (summer)
but then we will be living in our own place during the rest of the year, both of us are in university

i am not trying to praise myself when i say this, but i have a good heart and never try to hurt anyone on purpose...but sometimes i make my mother upset or angry and i dont mean to....so i get scared...what if i make my mil angry even if i didnt mean to?

i am going to do my very best. hopefully they understand that i am young and still learning. i also grew up in a westernized country so i have always been struggling to maintain the right attitude about things and behaivor

Amatul Wadud · **Re: Help! Im scared! -** 07-22-2008

Aww fishter! Your posts made me smile because you sound a little like me, lol if you have access to the Ladies Room I suggest you get in there and I'll tell you a lil story

AlbanianMuslim · **Re: Help! Im scared! -** 07-22-2008

i have been applying to get access, but for some reason they will not approve me

------ · **Re: Help! Im scared! -** 07-22-2008

You need 100 posts to access the Sisters Section.

Amatul Wadud · **Re: Help! Im scared! -** 07-22-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlbanianMuslim

i have been applying to get access, but for some reason they will not approve me

Aww ok then. I guess you'll miss out on the story but I'll PM you sometime insha'Allah sis. Take care and no fretting

*KB* · **Re: Help! Im scared! -** 07-22-2008

Assalamualaykum

Quote:

Im so scared, i am getting married next summer and im afraid ill make mistakes or i wont be able to please my husband or his family!

Im young, i learn everyday how to be a better person, but what if they dont like me! What if i say or do something stupid!
My family lets things go because i am their daughter/sister......but its diff when you go into someone elses family. They are less likely to let things go...

i cried today because im so scared

Do not worry Sister, you will be fine

Insha'Allah everything will be ok, you will live happily ever after

How to do that though? *hmmm* Simple

Make Du'aa to Allah the Almighty and you will surely prevail. I will make dua for you Sister that you and your husband live happily. Do not worry and stress too much, take heed of what the Brothers and Sisters of this forum are saying and most of all: Remember Allah.

Assalamualaykum
*KB*

AlbanianMuslim · **Re: Help! Im scared! -** 07-22-2008

no it doesnt

99% where do you get ur statistics?
its not neglect

it depends on the family, couple and circumstances
for ex. my brother who is getting married in the fall HAS to move out, because his job demands that he live in NY, we live in a diff state.

another cousin, had so many bros and sis in the house, that it was too crowded so he got a small apartment with his wife 10 min away.

dont generlize.

arabianprincess · **Re: Help! Im scared! -** 07-23-2008

dont worry about it sis .... inshallah yseer khairrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. n u still got a year so u know talk to his family n get to know him better .. wa inshalllah .. u wont feel like that..... im tell u this part as long as u please ur husband thats wat all matters..

good luck dont worry at ALLLL :S salamz

Tania · 11:30 PM

Its natural to be a little nervous and worried because its a big step but after wedding you will see everything will settle down

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	(#1 (permalink))
AnonymousGender Status: Offline Posts: 144 Reputation: 2082 Rep Power: 18 Join Date: May 2006 Gender:	Help! Im scared! - 07-21-2008 Im so scared, i am getting married next summer and im afraid ill make mistakes or i wont be able to please my husband or his family! Im young, i learn everyday how to be a better person, but what if they dont like me! What if i say or do something stupid! My family lets things go because i am their daughter/sister......but its diff when you go into someone elses family. They are less likely to let things go... i cried today because im so scared

	(#2 (permalink))
Fighting4Iman Fighting4Emaan Status: Online Posts: 16,015 Reputation: 48512 Rep Power: 93 Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Fighting4Emaan Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Help! Im scared! - 07-22-2008 Assalamu Alaikum InshaAllaah if your moving into a good respectable family they will understand your age and situation and will be leniant towards you. Dont stress too much over not looking bad because then you'll always be stiff and tense, be calm and be your pious self. Sorry, cant give much more advice.. __________________ -Fighting for my Emaan- I Will Not Lose - Never - No Way - Not Ever

	(#3 (permalink))
AnonymousGender Status: Offline Posts: 144 Reputation: 2082 Rep Power: 18 Join Date: May 2006 Gender:	Re: Help! Im scared! - 07-22-2008 Haaaallo, seriously mate, nothing to worry about, you dun needa be with the family all the time, you can move out with your hubby and visit time to time, am sure you'll be jut fine, and your future hubby will be there by your side, what's there to worry about? Make loadsa dua and you should be fine inshaAllaah, Plus if you're well behaved or atleast try your best, nothing should really go wrong, unless they're stooopid, but let's not go there, Be a good Muslimah, Buh bye __________________ Anonymous account

	(#6 (permalink))
qassy! LI Oldtimer Status: Offline Posts: 746 Reputation: 1296 Rep Power: 10 Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: london Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Help! Im scared! - 07-22-2008 Salam THere is nothing to be scared of. AS LONG as you dont do this: http://www.islamicboard.com/general/...age-islam.html __________________ well....well....well.............

	(#7 (permalink))
AnonymousGender Status: Offline Posts: 144 Reputation: 2082 Rep Power: 18 Join Date: May 2006 Gender:	Re: Help! Im scared! - 07-22-2008 thank you we will be living with them only for part of the year (summer) but then we will be living in our own place during the rest of the year, both of us are in university i am not trying to praise myself when i say this, but i have a good heart and never try to hurt anyone on purpose...but sometimes i make my mother upset or angry and i dont mean to....so i get scared...what if i make my mil angry even if i didnt mean to? i am going to do my very best. hopefully they understand that i am young and still learning. i also grew up in a westernized country so i have always been struggling to maintain the right attitude about things and behaivor

	(#8 (permalink))
Amatul Wadud Da Hart Luvz 2 Luv Status: Offline Posts: 9,934 Reputation: 25893 Rep Power: 62 Join Date: Jul 2005 Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Help! Im scared! - 07-22-2008 Aww fishter! Your posts made me smile because you sound a little like me, lol if you have access to the Ladies Room I suggest you get in there and I'll tell you a lil story __________________ The heart loves to love, so let it love its Creator

	(#9 (permalink))
AlbanianMuslim Limited Member Status: Offline Posts: 21 Reputation: 47 Rep Power: 0 Join Date: Jan 2008 Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Help! Im scared! - 07-22-2008 i have been applying to get access, but for some reason they will not approve me

	(#10 (permalink))
------ Account Disabled Status: Offline Posts: 1 Reputation: 0 Rep Power: 0 Join Date: Mar 2006 Way of Life: Undisclosed	Re: Help! Im scared! - 07-22-2008 You need 100 posts to access the Sisters Section.

	(#13 (permalink))
AlbanianMuslim Limited Member Status: Offline Posts: 21 Reputation: 47 Rep Power: 0 Join Date: Jan 2008 Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Help! Im scared! - 07-22-2008 no it doesnt 99% where do you get ur statistics? its not neglect it depends on the family, couple and circumstances for ex. my brother who is getting married in the fall HAS to move out, because his job demands that he live in NY, we live in a diff state. another cousin, had so many bros and sis in the house, that it was too crowded so he got a small apartment with his wife 10 min away. dont generlize.

	(#14 (permalink))
arabianprincess LI Senior Member Status: Offline Posts: 359 Reputation: 705 Rep Power: 18 Join Date: Dec 2005 Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Help! Im scared! - 07-23-2008 dont worry about it sis .... inshallah yseer khairrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. n u still got a year so u know talk to his family n get to know him better .. wa inshalllah .. u wont feel like that..... im tell u this part as long as u please ur husband thats wat all matters.. good luck dont worry at ALLLL :S salamz

	(#15 (permalink))
Tania LI Oldskool Status: Offline Posts: 3,112 Reputation: 7257 Rep Power: 28 Join Date: Apr 2006 Way of Life: Christian	Re: Help! Im scared! - 07-23-2008 Its natural to be a little nervous and worried because its a big step but after wedding you will see everything will settle down __________________ ~ Official Member of the MSL Crew™ - {Marriage Section Lovers}™ ~ Avatar changed by sis piXie and the signature is created by bro Abdul-Raouf Last edited by Tania; 07-25-2008 at 11:30 PM..