Thread: What shoould I do?

I went to uni yesterday. I was walking past a study room and I saw a guy and girl, both Muslims kissing. It looked weird.

I've seen them both around. The girl wears a hijab and guy I'm sure is growing a beard. Both look religious and no they are not married.

Do I approach the guy and tell him what he is doing is wrong or should I leave it and just do dua for him. I don't want to approach him cos he might tell me its none of your business/or get lost.

I just thought I'd ask you guys what I should do cos shouldn't I as a Muslim tell someone they are committing a sin. i don't know.

What do you think?

JazakALLAH

woah If I saw that I'd be so shocked that I wud question my eye'sight, wudnt believe I saw that

If I were u I wudnt approach, nor wud I even look twice I wud just move along. But since Allah might ask us why we didnt care I wud do this..

Introduce myself to the girl, dont say anything wait a day than ask her nicely is that ur hubs sis? If she says no I wud say sis if u guys desire one another so much why don't u get married Allah will bless u for that...Gradually n slowly jst go from there. Instead of saying u are committin haram I think it might help more to recommend marriage?

Originally Posted by anonymous

I went to uni yesterday. I was walking past a study room and I saw a guy and girl, both Muslims kissing. It looked weird.

I've seen them both around. The girl wears a hijab and guy I'm sure is growing a beard. Both look religious and no they are not married.

Do I approach the guy and tell him what he is doing is wrong or should I leave it and just do dua for him. I don't want to approach him cos he might tell me its none of your business/or get lost.

I just thought I'd ask you guys what I should do cos shouldn't I as a Muslim tell someone they are committing a sin. i don't know.

What do you think?

JazakALLAH

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, unfortunatley this is very common nowadays in both Muslim and non Muslim countries.

It does sadden a person especially when one sees a girl with hijaab and guy with a beard openly having a relationship but nowadays a lot of couples get a secret nikah done which is wrong because a wedding should always be anounced so that no suspicion arises of the couple.

I think brother (I'm assuming your a guy because you said should i approach the brother) that it is our duty to enjoin good and forbid evil but it should be done with wisdom. So as the sister said you should introduce yourself to the guy first and then mention it to him that are you married and if he says he is'nt, then you can warn him that it is a major sin to have a re marital relationship with the opposite sex.

Once you have warned him in a gentle and polite manner then leave it to Allah for there is only so much that you can do. We can only inform for guidance is with Allah alone.

Give him this advice:

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

A person may hear that a woman is of good character and virtuous and knowledgeable, so he may want to marry her. Or a woman may hear that a man is of good character and virtuous and knowledgeable and religiously committed, so she may want to marry him. But contact between the two who admire one another in ways that are not Islamically acceptable is the problem, which leads to disastrous consequences. In this case it is not permissible for the man to get in touch with the woman or for the woman to get in touch with the man, and say that he wants to marry her. Rather he should tell her wali (guardian) that he wants to marry her, or she should tell her wali that she wants to marry him, as ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) did when he offered his daughter Hafsah in marriage to Abu Bakr and ‘Uthmaan (may Allaah be pleased with them both). But if the woman contacts the man directly, this is what leads to fitnah (temptation). End quote.

Liqaa’aat al-Baab il-Maftooh (26/question no. 13)

My advice to you as your Muslim brother is that it is essential to stop corresponding with this girl, and tell him that he has to propose to her through her wali, if he really does want to get married. He should not regard his material circumstances or anything else as a barrier. The matter is simple, in sha Allaah, and if a person is content with little, Allaah will make him independent of means by His grace and bounty. He should at least contact her wali or get his family to contact her family and do the shar’i marriage contract, and if the consummation is delayed there is nothing wrong with that. But if correspondence continues between him and the girl then according to the rulings of sharee’ah and the experience of real life – is a wrong path that opens the door to sin and corruption. You can be certain that you will never find happiness except by obeying Allaah and adhering to the limits set by his sharee’ah. The permissible ways are sufficient and there is no need for haraam means, but we make it hard for ourselves and the shaytaan takes advantage of that.

Your delay in getting married is very harmful for you. The more you stay in this relationship the more you are angering Allah and the more chance there is that your relationship will not lead to marriage because a relationship has no blessings from Allah and a marriage can ONLY take place through the will of Allah so don;t dig yourself into a bigger and bigger hole.

Get yourself out of this forbidden relationship and save your imaan (faith) because when a non mahram man and a women are together committing zina then they have no imaan for the time they are with each other committing zina.

So save yourself and do whats right and ask for her hand in marriage because you should think to yourself that would you want your sister to have a intimate relationship with a man like you are having with this girl? If its not right for your sister then why should it be right for the sister you are seeing? So be a man and tell your family and then go to her house with your family and do things the right way by asking for her hand in marriage and at least get the nikah done and you can consumate the marriage later inshallah

And Allaah knows best.

Originally Posted by Yanoorah

woah If I saw that I'd be so shocked that I wud question my eye'sight, wudnt believe I saw that

If I were u I wudnt approach, nor wud I even look twice I wud just move along. But since Allah might ask us why we didnt care I wud do this..

Introduce myself to the girl, dont say anything wait a day than ask her nicely is that ur hubs sis? If she says no I wud say sis if u guys desire one another so much why don't u get married Allah will bless u for that...Gradually n slowly jst go from there. Instead of saying u are committin haram I think it might help more to recommend marriage?

thats probably what i would do and give her some type of dawah. muslims are in need of it. good advice.

but just also try to remember brother that you might be completely wrong they could be married you just don't know.

Originally Posted by cat eyes

they could be married you just don't know.

I don't think a married couple will do that at University . But it's better to ask the question first as suggested : bro/ sis , are u married ?

Originally Posted by x Muslimah x

Why cant people give proper advice... Video taping sumet like that? Yeah & put it on Youtube (!) Wth. Thas pure disgusting. Tell me your kiddin' right? You are actally meant to CONCEAL sins, not EXPOSE them. =)
I think you should approach tha guy after getting to know him a bit maybe & then confront him abouh tha issue. Maybe?

good advice except we dont know if the thread starter is a guy or girl



if your a guy, approach the guy, if your a girl, approach the girl !

Assalamu Alaikum

Video taping is a bad idea.I remember a post where a similiar thing came up where it was mentioned that exposing sins to others is not suggested.As well as , it comes under spying.

Now what you can do is tell the sister smoothly , let it slip by with out her getting hurt..Give dawah with most gentle way.Tell her it is wrong.I am sure she is knowledgeable enough to understand (she wears a hijab mashaallah)

Originally Posted by anonymous

I went to uni yesterday. I was walking past a study room and I saw a guy and girl, both Muslims kissing. It looked weird.

I've seen them both around. The girl wears a hijab and guy I'm sure is growing a beard. Both look religious and no they are not married.

Do I approach the guy and tell him what he is doing is wrong or should I leave it and just do dua for him. I don't want to approach him cos he might tell me its none of your business/or get lost.

I just thought I'd ask you guys what I should do cos shouldn't I as a Muslim tell someone they are committing a sin. i don't know.

What do you think?

JazakALLAH

Enjoin the good and forbid the evil. The Prophet said if you see an evil and you are able to stop it with your hands, then do it. If not then stop it with your tongue. If you can't even do that, then hate that evil within your heart but this is the lowest form of iman.

And shaykh uthaymeen (rahimullah) said if you can't even hate it in your heart then you have no Imaan!

The Prophet said: Whoever among you sees an evil action, let him change it with his hand [by taking action]; if he cannot, then with his tongue [by speaking out]; and if he cannot, then with his heart [by hating it and feeling that it is wrong] – and that is the weakest of faith"

(Narrated by Muslim, 49), and his words, “Part of a person’s being a good Muslim is his leaving alone that which does not concern him” (narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2317, classed as saheeh by Ibn al-Qayyim in al-Jawaab al-Kaafi, p. 112)

JazakALLAH-heir for the advice. May ALLAH(SWT) reward you all.

I will indeed approach the guy and tell him gently. I know they are not married. Now that is a fact.

Someone mentioned video recording. I didn't mention this and it is a bad idea.

Originally Posted by anonymous

I will indeed approach the guy and tell him gently. I know they are not married. Now that is a fact.

Someone mentioned video recording. I didn't mention this and it is a bad idea.

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, of course it is a bad idea i don't think that person was serious but what that person does'nt realise is that someone reading this thread may take it seriously and actually go ahead with it that is why his posts were removed.

If one is not going to come in here and give good advice then they should'nt come in here at all because one may think its a joke but someone may actually do it and ruin someone life.

I hope you take on board all of the advice. When a person hates sin and is saddened by the sin of others even though they may do it themselves then it does show the person has imaan. So jazakallah for your question and i hope inshallah that we have helped and that these couple and all other Muslims in the same situation realise they're errors and stop this major sin which is the cause of great evil,fitna and grief in our societies. Please rememebr us in your dua's.

Originally Posted by Kabeer

But if one of them are a close friend, you may wish to have a deeper discussion, but even then keep an even head.

Remember no matter their appearance. Islam is on the inside, not the outside.
A lot of people wear hijaab and beard etc just for show.

Islam is in the inside and the outside and one is not complete without the other. One who has knowledge of Islam but conceals it and does not act upon it nor propogates it is sinful while one who dresses with accord to the Islamic dress code but acts sinful gives a bad image to the religion of Allah which is far from any such defects.

One must testify to Islam in his heart and his outward actions must be in accord with the teachings of Islam to complete his faith, this includes the Islamic dress code (i.e. Beards for men and Hijaab for women). It is incorrect to say Islam is an in ones heart only.