Thread: masterbation for teens ?

Masturbation is haraam, though I've heard it is permissible if you are going to commit a worse sin... :/

Best to avoid it.

Originally Posted by tany_rulz786

hello just to let you know im a practicing muslim i try to pray 5 times a day, one of the big issues i am having is masterbating. From what is know is that it is disliked in islam to masterbate if you are married. but i am not married and i have a long way to go till i am. so is it allowed considering my circumstances ??

thank you for your time

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, here are:

12 Tips to Help Brothers and Sisters Control the Evil Habit of Masterbation

1. Never touch the intimate parts of your body except during normal toilet processes. Even if you get tempted, just think of Allah and the Prophet (Saw) and that Allah is wathcing you at all times and this urge will go away.

2. Avoid being alone as much as possible. Shaythan plays with the minds of those who sit around idle and not doing anything. Find good company and stay in this good company. Spend time with your family and close ones(Not Non mahrams) Find good company and stay in this good company.The best company are those who lead you towards good and not those who lead you in the wrong direction. Don't hang around with those girls who talk about sexual things and boys etc.

3. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, you must break off their friendship. Never associate with other people having the same weakness. Don't suppose that two of you will quit together, you never will. You must get away from people of that kind. Just to be in their presence will keep your problem foremost in your mind. The problem must be taken out of your mind for that is where it really exists. Your mind must be on other and more wholesome things.

4. When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror. Never stay in the bath more than five or six minutes -- just long enough to bathe and dry and dress and then get out of the bathroom as soon as possible because we are advised in the sunnah not to delay getting changed after a bath. We should dry ourselves and get into doing an act of worship.

5. When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the most part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you cannot easily touch your vital parts, and so that it would be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those clothes. By the time you started to remove protective clothing you would have sufficiently controlled your thinking that the temptation would leave you. Sleep on your sides and NOT on your front or back. It is forbidden to sleep on your stomach and it is sunnah to sleep on your right side. Do dua's and Zikr until you fall asleep.

6. If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, get out of bed and go into the kitchen and fix yourself a snack, even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if you are not hungry, and despite your fears of gaining weight. The purpose behind this suggestion is that you get your mind on something else. You are the subject of your thoughts, so to speak. If these thoughts come to you in the middle of the night then go and do wudu and pray Tahajjud and make much dua and cry in your dua's of Allah to increase you in imaan (Faith) and to help you resist your desires and to help you get married ASAP.

7. Find out when are your weakest times when your most likely to masterbate or touch yourself. When you have established on what times and occassions this occurs then you can plan what to do to avoid feeling temptations on thos particular occassions.

8. Never read pornographic material especially on the internet as these images will be stored in your head and it will make your problem worse. Try to keep your gaze low at all times. Never read about your problem. Keep it out of mind. Remember -- "First a thought, then an act."The thought pattern must be changed. You must not allow this problem to remain in your mind. When you accomplish that, you soon will be free of the act inshallah.

9. Put wholesome thoughts into your mind at all times. Read good Islamic books, the life of the Prophet(Saw) and his seerah, the life after death. There SO many interesting topics to read and learn about. Make a daily habit of reading at least one juz(Chapter) of Qur'an with its meanings.
Reading the Qur'an everyday with its meanings will bring countless blessings and rewards and bring you closer to Allah as well as keep you busy and occupied therefore keeping your mind off this problem.

10. Make much dua. But when you make dua don't just make dua about this problem, for that will tend to keep it in your mind more than ever. Make dua for increase of your iman(faith), Make dua for understanding of the Islam and the Qur'an, Make dua for your family and ALL Muslims especially the ones that are being oprressed, Pray for the sick and that we all unite as one. keep the problem out of your mind by not mentioning it ever --not in conversation with others, not inso much in your dua's. keep it out of your mind because if you keep mentioning it then it will stay in your mind!

11. Fast. You may have tried it before and it did'nt work but how can it work if we don't change our eating habits? If we eat little just to satisfy our stomachs then our fasting will be effective and restrict our sexual urges and capability's. But if we carry on over eating after our fasts then that food will impact on the stomach which will impact on our desires. So restrict the amount you eat before and after fasting and you will feel the benefits of fasting to stop your urges.

12. Finally the best solution of all- GET MARRIED. Give some urgency to your family about the need for you to get married sooner rather than later. Tell them of the benefits of getting married early and that it is a sunnah as the Prophet (Saw) recommended it as it will help avoid haraam(Forbidden) relations with non mahrams and getting married early will help eradicate this problem and mean that one can indulge in their sexual urges and desires legitamatley as well as recieve reward for it. The main reason why there is so many haraam relations out there is for the fact that our families are not getting their children married early enough as the Prophet (Saw) advised.

Here is another beneficial article which may help:

Haraam Fantasizing

by Hazrat Maulana Yunus Patel Saheb (daamat barakaatuhum)

There is no shortage of complaints when it comes to giving up sins and the struggle which ensues between individuals and their nafs, as well as Shaytaan.

This battle is inevitably on-going – till our dying day. There is no other way out, except to show the courage and bravery that every Muslim does have – when it comes to Pleasing Allah Ta’ala.

Yet another widespread weakness is that of Haraam fantasizing. Young and old, married and unmarried – thousands upon thousands, succumb to their runaway imagination when it comes to fantasy world and this in turn leads to even graver sin.

Allah Ta’ala granted us the power of Imagination for a beautiful purpose; but most people today utilize this imagination in filthy thoughts. The following is actually drawn from my Malfoozaat. It is an extract from one of the kitaabs. It is a prescription which I have given to many who have complained of the same. Alhamdulillah, it has been a means of cure for many. May Allah Ta’ala make it a means of cure for all that have this ailment.

“Haraam fantasizing is the spiritual disease of almost every person. It is abuse of the great, wonderful and amazing gift of imagination.

Why did Allah Ta’ala give us this gift of imagination ?

The imagination has been given to us so that it may be used to ponder over the Qur`aan Sharif, which entails stories of past nations and verses upon verses of Jannat and Jahannum and accountability. This is imagination was to be used for the purpose of taking lesson and strengthening our Imaan. It was to be used as a catalyst towards ‘Aml’ (action).

The imagination was not given to us so that we may indulge our nafs in filthy thoughts.

One of the main reasons why both men and women have this problem plaguing them, is due to their indulgence in lustful gazing.

After having cast filthy gazes at ghair-mahareem , or watching porn movies or paging through porn magazines, or reading explicit romance novels, there is desire and craving for more. Since ‘more’ is generally not possible … since the person may be married, or the object of one’s desire is a film star or supermodel or a Miss Universe or Mr. Universe, and there is zero chance of meeting the person, the person tries to satisfy these shahawaat (desires) by fantasizing.

But fantasizing is not going to satisfy desire. It will only increase desire. The person’s sickness will increase. His physical health will inevitably also suffer.

When the desire to indulge in Haraam fantasizing comes into the heart, then take your imagination to the Day of Judgement; stand before Allah Ta’ala’s Seat of Judgement and begin accounting for all your actions in this world. Think of how you will account for and what you will say to Allah Ta’ala when all these filthy thoughts will be presented to you.

Allah Ta’ala states in the Qur`aan Sharif :

“WHEN THE SCROLLS ARE LAID OPEN.” [SURAH TAKWEER 81 :10]

“THIS OUR RECORD SPEAKS ABOUT YOU WITH TRUTH : FOR WE WERE WONT TO PUT ON RECORD ALL THAT YOU DID.” [SURAH JATHIYA 45 :29]

Even though Allah Ta’ala is All-Knowing and well aware of all our actions, He has established a law whereby every action and every detail of every action be recorded and thereafter presented to us on the Day of Reckoning – in favour of us or witness against us.

Otherwise take your imagination for Haj: Picture yourself at the Multazam, making Tawaaf, making Sa`ee; picture yourself at the Raudha Mubarak, conveying Salaam to Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam), or take your imagination to your Qabr and the events which unfold in the grave after death. …Insha-Allah, this will a means of defeating nafs and Shaytaan as well as obliterating a filthy habit.

If you find yourself still weak against the demands of nafs and whisperings of Shaytaan, then immediately occupy yourself in that which is ‘mubaah’ (permissible). Begin conversation with your parents, or with brothers and sisters, or phone a good, pious friend, or listen to some Qiraat or Deeni talk… Occupy yourself in that which is Halaal and mubaah; otherwise nafs will ravage your heart and destroy your peace of mind and lead you to even suicidal tendencies.

Added to this, consider filthy thoughts as pigs. Just as we show aversion and absolute disgust on seeing a pig, so should we be disgusted with dirty thoughts – which fall in the same category as pigs. Both are Haraam (forbidden).

Furthermore, Haraam fantasizing leads to the evil habit of self-gratification, because there is no Halaal avenue to satisfy one’s desires. This is a rather disastrous weakness amongst the youth and one should ponder over the various harms which are too many, and these harms are spiritual, physical and psychological harms.

Satisfying one’s desires by masturbating is not permissible even if a person does not have the means to marry. Allah Ta’ala mentions that those who do not find the means to marry should remain chaste.

“And those who do not find the means to marry, should remain chaste until Allah gives them resources by His Grace.”

Remaining chaste is thus a Divine command which is compulsory to comply with – therefore we will find the Ahadith presenting prescriptions to remain chaste (lowering the gaze, fasting, etc.).

As a prescription, the following harms should be read and re-read if need be, until it is understood that the harms long term are not worth the gratification that comes with the sin.

Some possible Spiritual Harms:

1. Taufeeq of doing good deeds is taken away. The person is deprived of Tahajjud, of Tilawat of the Qur`aan Sharief, of associating with the pious, etc.
2. The person is deprived of knowledge and finds an aversion to people
3. The most dangerous is that the person will not be able to remain steadfast on Deen. (Allah Ta’ala protect).
4. Besides this, a person who satisfies his evil desires in this manner is cursed according to Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam).

Some possible Psychological Harms :

May lead to:

1. agitation and irritation over trivial matters,
2. lack of confidence,
3. disinterest in studying
4. and desire for isolation.

Much more can be stated in respect to the harms of this sin. So contemplating the above, should give every incentive to give up the sin. No one would like to contend with any one of the above problems and yet just one evil deed and the person has invited waves of calamities upon himself.

If evil desires still get the better, then Nikah is a simple solution. Where the evil desires are so difficult to suppress that the person engages in Haraam then Shariah says that it is Fardh for the person to marry. This is, of course, for those who the ability.

assalmu 'Alykoum wr wb Br. Hamaza,

I truly agree with most of your posts, and the above is fine for the most part except for the 'physical harm' portion!

there is no point in getting people to stop a bad habit by lying to them about the side effects.. I am not suggesting the sheikh is a liar, just in error about the scientific aspect of it I'd love to learn of the names of the 'hakim's' who okayed this list and if they realize that the implication would be exactly the same for regular sexual intercourse.

and Allah swt knows best

Originally Posted by Gossamer skye

assalmu 'Alykoum wr wb Br. Hamaza,

I truly agree with most of your posts, and the above is fine for the most part except for the 'physical harm' portion!

there is no point in getting people to stop a bad habit by lying to them about the side effects.. I am not suggesting the sheikh is a liar, just in error about the scientific aspect of it I'd love to learn of the names of the 'hakim's' who okayed this list and if they realize that the implication would be exactly the same for regular sexual intercourse.

and Allah swt knows best

I agree. Sadly many people are confused about the physical aspects and fail to understand that if a young person does not experience those pysical dangers, they are going to question and doubt any further advice from the person telling them. While there can be physical damage if some complicated bizarre methods are used, the real dangers are emotional, spiritual and psychological. These are much worse than any exaggerated physical dangers.

Originally Posted by Woodrow

I agree. Sadly many people are confused about the physical aspects and fail to understand that if a young person does not experience those pysical dangers, they are going to question and doubt any further advice from the person telling them. While there can be physical damage if some complicated bizarre methods are used, the real dangers are emotional, spiritual and psychological. These are much worse than any exaggerated physical dangers.

I feel like they came out of a 13c christian book ( you know the same ones that tell you, you'll have hairy palms).. I say this because while I was in Egypt, I found some 'Religion books' which I was intending to purchase for my nieces and nephews and they were riddled with wrong information, grossly un-Islamic, that I felt it a ploy to lead the young generation astray, astghfor Allah, firstly they also had pictures of the sahaba and prophet Mohammed of course nothing in there s remotely close to what we know about them (It was almost a mockery).. I should have browsed more to find out who is behind them.. can you imagine that?

We have always been pioneers, there is no reason whatsoever to take our lead or example from folks who dwelt in the dark ages until they rid themselves of their religion!

and I wholeheartedly agree that if you don't trust something in part you are reluctant to accept the whole!

and Allah swt knows best

Originally Posted by Gossamer skye

assalmu 'Alykoum wr wb Br. Hamaza,

I truly agree with most of your posts, and the above is fine for the most part except for the 'physical harm' portion!

there is no point in getting people to stop a bad habit by lying to them about the side effects.. I am not suggesting the sheikh is a liar, just in error about the scientific aspect of it I'd love to learn of the names of the 'hakim's' who okayed this list and if they realize that the implication would be exactly the same for regular sexual intercourse.

and Allah swt knows best

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, thanks for letting me know sis ive edited out the physical harms part because they are certainly not proven.

The first post on 12 tips is actually my own work and the second post was posted in a thread i started in another forum to help those with masterbation problems. I shall take extra care in future not to paste articles with dubious facts. Jazakallah khayran.

Originally Posted by Hamza81

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, thanks for letting me know sis ive edited out the physical harms part because they are certainly not proven.

The first post on 12 tips is actually my own work and the second post was posted in a thread i started in another forum to help those with masterbation problems. I shall take extra care in future not to paste articles with dubious facts. Jazakallah khayran.

Baraka Allah feek.. you always post such excellent articles and that is the honest truth from my heart.. I have seen some amazing very thorough posts from you to really miserable members and I may have been one of them .. full of moral support, emotional strength and hope..

May Allah swt reward you.

p.s: I loved your 12 tips.. and it is the quality I have come to expect from you..
I can especially vouch for number 11, for it is the only thing that has gotten me through some pretty rough times..