I don't have any muslimat friend in Sudan, but my friend's husband is working there for Petronas Malaysia. Maybe he can help u find a muslimah friend in Geutemala.

My advice is... forget him. When I broke-up with my ex, I tooks 6 months to forgive and I took 3 years to forget. U can forget him sooner if u find a better guy. Don't think about the memories. He is not a good Muslim when he without feeling guilty to Allah commit sins. If he can betray his fiance, he can betray his wife very easily. When he commit a sin and nothing harm happen to him, he will do it again with other lady with or without your knowledge without feeling guilty. Does he a good muslim?

Man like that you dont want as a father for your kids or as a husband

exactly!! hes not worth crying over cause he surely wont cry over you.....and would you want that?

hi there.
I know how you must feel broken heart. You will be thinking how you want him back but trust me you don’t I’ve been in that kind of situation where I very day wonder if I converted for god’s sake or him. His not worth your time that’s how I feel now and be happy you have not had a child for that man. But Allah will help you if you ask for help and keep reading more about Islam and sake knowledge of Islam within your community you will be shocked in what you will find.

Originally Posted by lilly_rose

you will be shocked in what you will find.

What do you mean by that, Lilly Rose?

Blessings,

well i have been going around the islamic community near me and they have been helpfull and more then willing to help.

Originally Posted by lilly_rose

well i have been going around the islamic community near me and they have been helpfull and more then willing to help.

That's good!

thank you glo

Well, thanks for your support in the matter. BUt at this point I don't really want to hate him, or look down upon him. Is that a very Islamic attitude? I realize that he was promised before he even met me. I admit , he could have been alot more honest with me, from the beginning. Then , perhaps, we could have found some way, some compromise. Anis, even went into a severe depression for months, and i think it was because of his internal conflict, between me and what his parents wanted. Is he not being a good muslim, by following his parents wishes?

The way I see it, the sheer momentum of his culture, is much more powerful then his individual desires. Is this not what has made Islam such a powerful religion all these years. Freedom of choice,is not a high priority.

Does it sound like I am making excuses, for his bad behaviour to me?? Probably. DO I appreciate your opinions, Yes!

I do wish he would have stood up for me. The person I would want to be with, would have done that. But it is a risk. Now at least I am free to find someone who is truly meant to be with me... I will continue learning more about Islam, becuase now that it is in my heart, i cannot turn my back on it.

Originally Posted by artichokeforest

I will continue learning more about Islam, becuase now that it is in my heart, i cannot turn my back on it.

That's good to hear, sister. May Allah bless you with a good husband who will be the companion of your soul.

Maybe he loved you the best way he knew how. Are you a better person for having known him? I bet you are. Try to remember what the two of you had in a positive light but be willing to recognize any errors or sins the two of you made. Best of luck to you.

assaallaamu alaykum

I have no excuse for him in anyway whatsoever.

And I do not aprove of those who judged you in how you conducted yourselves in the past.

I would strongly advise you to associate with people who has substance and forget about him.
If he was a Muslim, and he had feelings and respect for you as well as fear for Allah, he wouldn't have gone through with the marriage.

Yes, I was Christian before and reverted on my own.

And yes, we'd all like to not have these girl-friend boy-friend relationships but, frankly, the culturalists do not leave many alternatives for those who are young.

I do not judge those people; I embrace them, help them, try to understand them but, I never judge them.

****
All the best for you and don't feel saddened by your ordeal:
Be thankful that you have a heart and that you are able to feel;
Be greatful to Allah that he didn't put such a weak-spirited person by your side.
At-least you have the ability to love, appreciate and hurt.

Alot of culturalists don't have hearts.
They are robots and prisoners of their own families.

***
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.
Hellen Keller

Take care.
Assallaamu alaykum

The way I take it, is he has no obligation to follow his parents wishes in choosing his wife, but the fact he has chosen it, than he made the choice, and he should be honest with you. If he already has consumated the marriage than he had no right to do what he done to you, let alone of having casual relation when he knew, but you should not hold any grudge even though he hurt you but make dua for him and wish him the best. The best thing is to cut contact with him.

Peace. and I will make Duah for you and the other person.

I don't think it was wise for you to convert just because you wanted to maintain a relationship with Asim. Did you convert because you sincerely wanted to be Muslim?

Originally Posted by primitivefuture

I don't think it was wise for you to convert just because you wanted to maintain a relationship with Asim. Did you convert because you sincerely wanted to be Muslim?

If she sincerely did not believe in ISLAM now, than the logical thing would been of her to leave ISLAM, since she supposedly (not a factual) entered for him only without any intention than she would leave logically when she lost him.

We should not question her faith, but we should help he and support her in everyway and even learning more about our deen (ISLAM), that's our JOB.

MAke Duah for her.

Follow-Up:
So Anis wrote me an e-mail from the beginning of his honeymoon.
Then returned a few days ago. he called me immediately. I was polite and told him i could not continue talking or seeing him and hung up. he called imediately and left a long message. His message said that he told his wife all about me, and that she has given him permission to take me as a second wife. Now what do you all have to say about that???