Getting rid of your mates!

eternal_faith · **Getting rid of your mates! -** 10-06-2005

My mates are bugging me! They are so far from Islam it is unbelievable! I want to distance myself from them but they are the sort of people your just can't distance yourself without attracting a lot of attention and questions. They have made up this 'rude crew' Alhamdulilah I was absent from school when they set it up so I'm not part of it. They each play a different role in this 'rude crew' pretend roles but roles just the same. I won't tell you what but it is SICK! ASTAGFIRALLAH! I feel like throwing up just thinking about it. What can I do to get rid of them????

- Qatada - · 10:31 PM

wa 'alykum asalam warahmatulahi wabarakatuh.

yeh i know wa u mean sis.. alot of people these dayz are goin astray and its really hard to find any good practisin muslims as mates.

to start off with, you could ignore them and carry on with your own personal life at school. at the same time focus on your studies and focus alot on islam - so you can build up on your faith cz insha Allah you will get married soon - so you should have time to prepare for that.

if your mates still come to you and annoy you, tell them that you dont want to get upto the things they do. they'll probably look at you funny and think your weird.. but that dzt really matter - as long as you know what your doing is right. which insha Allah it is (cz your stayin away from fitnah - temtpations) insha Allah.

in this time you can catch up with all the extra work u get from the teachers and you'll have less time being wasted because you'll have less distractions insha Allah.

your mates might keep comin back to you and they might keep tryin to persuade you to join their crew - but you know its wrong.. plus you know you want to get married and being part of a crew like this will give a person a bad marriage life so insha Allah you will stay away from that.
out of them mates - the one you think wont make a big issue out of it - explain to her how u feel and why you hate what they doin.. remember to stay calm.

they will insha Allah leave you alone - but if they dont then plz remember to stay calm and dont get angry no matter wa or else they'll feel that annoyin you or backbitin abt u will make you feel bad. so instead just ignore them and leave your faith in Allah (swt). thats the best way of winnin over people like that. gradually they'll stop aswell insha Allah cz dey'll know their planz na workin and they'll think they jus wastin their time.

if you can make friends with other practisin muslim sisters - that would be a really good idea cz you could discuss islamic matters and remember - the people you hang out with affect wa kinda person you are:

our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) said:
“The example of a good companion and a bad one is the bearer of musk and the worker on the bellows. A bearer of musk would give you some, you might buy some from him, or you might enjoy the fragrance of his musk. The worker on the bellows, on the other hand, might spoil your clothes with sparks from his bellows, or you get a bad smell from him.”

(Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim, this version being Muslim’s)

so being around people who focus more on islam will have a stronger impact on your faith aswell as you having friendships with sisters who will keep you occupied instead of bein with people who get upto haraam things insha Allah.

if you dont understand what i'm saying or need to ask anythin else please do.. jazak Allah khayr. barak Allah u feeki (may Allah (swt) bless you) and your family. ameen.

wasalam o 'alykum warahmatulahi wabarakatuh.

ABWAN · **Re: Getting rid of your mates! -** 10-06-2005

wa alaikum asalam wr wb

an easy way out of the trouble is to find people who are religious (if its not your mates find someone else) and then stick with them all the time. sounds simple eh? but I had a heck of a time myself... but at least this seems to be more effective.

**aamirsaab** · **Re: Getting rid of your mates! -** 10-07-2005

I think a trip to the anger-management class is due.

on topic: go to library. read book/revise. get good education. laugh at "rude crew" members as they sit in gutter. hahahahahahahah.

If it was me in the situation I would let them live their own way - if they wanna be rude crew then let em - you can be unique and a non-conformist by not joining. conformity bites (sometimes)

Rabi'ya · **Re: Getting rid of your mates! -** 10-07-2005

I know wht u mean sis.....its hard to distance urself from people without being rude....

It will take time but slowly involve urself with other matters, rather than suddenly just not talking to them....otherwise they cud lash back again at you. Perhaps try invitng some of them to some Islamic events....Eid party might be a gud one to start with inshaallah

Rabi'ya:rose:

meknesi · 04:43 PM

salam sis yeah i wnet through a period b4 i was practisin and i was moving with people that were rude and jus pure ignorant but what i did was jus move away from them for a while and concentrated on my self, so when they called me to be honest i didnt respond and if i did said i was reall busy and sooner or later they backed of then once i was stronger in the deen now i see them all the time and give them as much guidance a s i can and alhamdulillah they are all intersted.....may Allah swt make it easy for u....this month is the best month to move a away from them as u have an excuse our beloved friend ramadan....

meknesi

meknesi · **Re: Getting rid of your mates! -** 10-07-2005

sorry beloved freind

**Muezzin** · **Re: Getting rid of your mates! -** 10-07-2005

What the heck is a 'rude crew'? I just had mental images of the following classic cartoon:

eternal_faith · **Re: Getting rid of your mates! -** 10-08-2005

You DON'T want to know. The things they talk about....you wouldn't expect to find that in an 18 rated Chick-Flick! It's disgusting!

Jazakallah Khair for all your advice. I'll try it out.

**Muhammad** · **Re: Getting rid of your mates! -** 10-08-2005

May Allay help you to distance yourself from such evil people, Ameen! Think about it this way, at least you are free to leave them and find your own friends to hang around with Insha'Allaah. There are some people who are forced to work with such people and spend time with them for the purpose of 'education' and 'socialising skills', and that is far worse I reckon.

ChasingRainbows · **Re: Getting rid of your mates! -** 10-15-2005

Salam Alaikum,

May allah help you find good friends. Look at this way would you rather be stuck with bad-charactered people so as to avoid the attention and the questions or be filled with regret in front Allah because you know that they would only bring you ruin. You are on the religion of your friend and the cool thing is that the choice of who you befriend is all yours. Be wise.

*charisma* · 07:14 PM

Assalamu Alaikum

Quote:

hey are so far from Islam it is unbelievable! I want to distance myself from them but they are the sort of people your just can't distance yourself without attracting a lot of attention and questions.

If they are soo far from Islam all you gotta do is get closer

. Usually when ppl see that you have become different or are stronger in your beliefs, they part from you naturally. If they still arent getting the message then tell them what they are doing is wrong. Dont care about all the questions or attractions you might get, believe it or not it might be very good thing because if you can part yourself away from them as a true musilmah then ppl can maybe see a difference between you both. Its best to do this as soon as you can cuz you dont want ignorant ppl to start relating Islam to whatever it is the "rude crew"
is doing wrong. cuz then u'd get grouped as well. Make dua for those who are going astray, and refrain from like saying stuff that would insult then as human beings rather than their actions

and if they call themselves "muslims" then quote verses from the quran that shows what they are doing is wrong.

I hope this advice helped inshallah
I leave the rest to you and Alllah

if u still having trouble keep us updated will ya

fi aman Allah
W'salaam

~*Sister*~ · **Re: Getting rid of your mates! -** 10-19-2005

Salaam,

Inshallah u well find good friendss, Keep ur best friends Muslim sO u dont get in trouble, Pray to allah to lead you to the straight path ISLAM, and keep u away from this Rude Crew. i know how u feel sister, There were alot of groups in my school Rude n bad But i kept my self away from them, even when it meant i got bullied n beaten up, i still kept it strong And prayed to Allah for help, alhamduillah They all want to know me Now, they try to say hii and try to talk but i Forgive But it hard to forget.

Sister i hope u be alrite inshallah we well make dua inshallah

take care n please keep away from them, Good things come to people who wait!

W.salaam

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	(#1 (permalink))
eternal_faith Limited Member Status: Offline Posts: 21 Reputation: 10 Rep Power: 0 Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: The Great Big World!! Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Getting rid of your mates! - 10-06-2005 My mates are bugging me! They are so far from Islam it is unbelievable! I want to distance myself from them but they are the sort of people your just can't distance yourself without attracting a lot of attention and questions. They have made up this 'rude crew' Alhamdulilah I was absent from school when they set it up so I'm not part of it. They each play a different role in this 'rude crew' pretend roles but roles just the same. I won't tell you what but it is SICK! ASTAGFIRALLAH! I feel like throwing up just thinking about it. What can I do to get rid of them????

	(#2 (permalink))
- Qatada - Ummah Under 1 Banner Status: Offline Posts: 10,378 Reputation: 41985 Rep Power: 84 Join Date: May 2005 Location: ...travelling to the hereafter.. Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Getting rid of your mates! - 10-06-2005 wa 'alykum asalam warahmatulahi wabarakatuh. yeh i know wa u mean sis.. alot of people these dayz are goin astray and its really hard to find any good practisin muslims as mates. to start off with, you could ignore them and carry on with your own personal life at school. at the same time focus on your studies and focus alot on islam - so you can build up on your faith cz insha Allah you will get married soon - so you should have time to prepare for that. if your mates still come to you and annoy you, tell them that you dont want to get upto the things they do. they'll probably look at you funny and think your weird.. but that dzt really matter - as long as you know what your doing is right. which insha Allah it is (cz your stayin away from fitnah - temtpations) insha Allah. in this time you can catch up with all the extra work u get from the teachers and you'll have less time being wasted because you'll have less distractions insha Allah. your mates might keep comin back to you and they might keep tryin to persuade you to join their crew - but you know its wrong.. plus you know you want to get married and being part of a crew like this will give a person a bad marriage life so insha Allah you will stay away from that. out of them mates - the one you think wont make a big issue out of it - explain to her how u feel and why you hate what they doin.. remember to stay calm. they will insha Allah leave you alone - but if they dont then plz remember to stay calm and dont get angry no matter wa or else they'll feel that annoyin you or backbitin abt u will make you feel bad. so instead just ignore them and leave your faith in Allah (swt). thats the best way of winnin over people like that. gradually they'll stop aswell insha Allah cz dey'll know their planz na workin and they'll think they jus wastin their time. if you can make friends with other practisin muslim sisters - that would be a really good idea cz you could discuss islamic matters and remember - the people you hang out with affect wa kinda person you are: our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) said: “The example of a good companion and a bad one is the bearer of musk and the worker on the bellows. A bearer of musk would give you some, you might buy some from him, or you might enjoy the fragrance of his musk. The worker on the bellows, on the other hand, might spoil your clothes with sparks from his bellows, or you get a bad smell from him.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim, this version being Muslim’s) so being around people who focus more on islam will have a stronger impact on your faith aswell as you having friendships with sisters who will keep you occupied instead of bein with people who get upto haraam things insha Allah. if you dont understand what i'm saying or need to ask anythin else please do.. jazak Allah khayr. barak Allah u feeki (may Allah (swt) bless you) and your family. ameen. wasalam o 'alykum warahmatulahi wabarakatuh. __________________ iDawah.com Bringing Dawah back..to the future! http://salaf-stories.blogspot.com Last edited by - Qatada -; 10-06-2005 at 10:31 PM..

	(#3 (permalink))
ABWAN LI Senior Member Status: Offline Posts: 234 Reputation: 501 Rep Power: 20 Join Date: Sep 2005 Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Getting rid of your mates! - 10-06-2005 wa alaikum asalam wr wb an easy way out of the trouble is to find people who are religious (if its not your mates find someone else) and then stick with them all the time. sounds simple eh? but I had a heck of a time myself... but at least this seems to be more effective.

	(#5 (permalink))
Rabi'ya Ex - Mod Status: Offline Posts: 2,452 Reputation: 4918 Rep Power: 29 Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Cardiff, Wales Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Getting rid of your mates! - 10-07-2005 I know wht u mean sis.....its hard to distance urself from people without being rude.... It will take time but slowly involve urself with other matters, rather than suddenly just not talking to them....otherwise they cud lash back again at you. Perhaps try invitng some of them to some Islamic events....Eid party might be a gud one to start with inshaallah Rabi'ya:rose: __________________ Rabi'ya

	(#6 (permalink))
meknesi AllahuAkbar Status: Offline Posts: 97 Reputation: 73 Rep Power: 20 Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: london Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Getting rid of your mates! - 10-07-2005 salam sis yeah i wnet through a period b4 i was practisin and i was moving with people that were rude and jus pure ignorant but what i did was jus move away from them for a while and concentrated on my self, so when they called me to be honest i didnt respond and if i did said i was reall busy and sooner or later they backed of then once i was stronger in the deen now i see them all the time and give them as much guidance a s i can and alhamdulillah they are all intersted.....may Allah swt make it easy for u....this month is the best month to move a away from them as u have an excuse our beloved friend ramadan.... meknesi Last edited by Muhammad; 10-08-2005 at 04:43 PM.. Reason: You can use the EDIT function to correct things in your post Insha'Allaah

	(#7 (permalink))
meknesi AllahuAkbar Status: Offline Posts: 97 Reputation: 73 Rep Power: 20 Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: london Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Getting rid of your mates! - 10-07-2005 sorry beloved freind

	(#8 (permalink))
Muezzin GET TO DA CHOPPA Status: Offline Posts: 9,048 Reputation: 26497 Rep Power: 64 Join Date: Jun 2005 Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Getting rid of your mates! - 10-07-2005 What the heck is a 'rude crew'? I just had mental images of the following classic cartoon: __________________ Pay a visit to the masters of might, magic and Monday mornings Fedora-sporting userpage 'Credit crunch sounds like a breakfast cereal'

	(#9 (permalink))
eternal_faith Limited Member Status: Offline Posts: 21 Reputation: 10 Rep Power: 0 Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: The Great Big World!! Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Getting rid of your mates! - 10-08-2005 You DON'T want to know. The things they talk about....you wouldn't expect to find that in an 18 rated Chick-Flick! It's disgusting! Jazakallah Khair for all your advice. I'll try it out.

	(#10 (permalink))
Muhammad Slave of Allaah Status: Offline Posts: 4,069 Reputation: 24725 Rep Power: 57 Join Date: Apr 2005 Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Getting rid of your mates! - 10-08-2005 May Allay help you to distance yourself from such evil people, Ameen! Think about it this way, at least you are free to leave them and find your own friends to hang around with Insha'Allaah. There are some people who are forced to work with such people and spend time with them for the purpose of 'education' and 'socialising skills', and that is far worse I reckon.

	(#11 (permalink))
ChasingRainbows Member Status: Offline Posts: 65 Reputation: 63 Rep Power: 21 Join Date: Aug 2005 Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Getting rid of your mates! - 10-15-2005 Salam Alaikum, May allah help you find good friends. Look at this way would you rather be stuck with bad-charactered people so as to avoid the attention and the questions or be filled with regret in front Allah because you know that they would only bring you ruin. You are on the religion of your friend and the cool thing is that the choice of who you befriend is all yours. Be wise.

	(#13 (permalink))
~Sister~ Member Status: Offline Posts: 47 Reputation: 15 Rep Power: 0 Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: UK Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Getting rid of your mates! - 10-19-2005 Salaam, Inshallah u well find good friendss, Keep ur best friends Muslim sO u dont get in trouble, Pray to allah to lead you to the straight path ISLAM, and keep u away from this Rude Crew. i know how u feel sister, There were alot of groups in my school Rude n bad But i kept my self away from them, even when it meant i got bullied n beaten up, i still kept it strong And prayed to Allah for help, alhamduillah They all want to know me Now, they try to say hii and try to talk but i Forgive But it hard to forget. Sister i hope u be alrite inshallah we well make dua inshallah take care n please keep away from them, Good things come to people who wait! W.salaam