Allah knows what is in our hearts, and why we do the things we do I have no doubt that you did the things you did out of love and desperation to be needed... this is life. We make sacrifices - and sometimes we sacrifice that which will affect our state of mind and heart afterwards - but Allah knows the truth of it. And Allah is all forgiving, all merciful.
Sis, next time you feel yourself getting depressed, remember that bro Scimi is getting angry that you are allowing yourself to feel this way. I do not allow my sisters to walk with head bowed low, no... you hold your head up high - you hear me ???
You represent the Muslim women of the Ummah - so represent my sisters, be their beacon. Stand tall, firm, and with confidence. You are amazing, masha-Allah, you have true courage to speak the truth, even if it is against yourself... dangit, I see so many admirable qualities in you that you yourself seem to not see...
Chin up, say "Alhamdulillah" and walk forth into a new day which brings new promises