Mingling and Mixing of sexes - Page 7

glo · **Re: Mingling and Mixing of sexes -** 05-23-2006

Thank you,

Quote:

Originally Posted by NJUSA

I, like many Muslim women before me, work and socialize with men and women. I work in the office with men and women, I tutor men and women, I enjoy social gatherings and conversations with men and women. Some of the men I socialize with are Muslim; some are non-Muslim. The men that I socialize with know the limits and observe them wonderfully, and we keep our intercourse at the social level. Could I restrict myself to female friends only? It's possible, but I'd be a less wise and healthy person in the absence of several friends who care for me and challenge me to be a better person. There is a difference between modesty and segregation. Modesty is a curtain between the sexual and non-sexual parts of one's life. A certain amount of it is neccessary, and can be withdrawn when needed. Segregation is a wall between human beings. It is only needed to prevent danger, and is meant to be more or less permanent. I refuse to believe that morally sound people are an inherent danger to society, and must be put behind walls for the protection of and from other morally sound people. My brethren in faith and humanity are not morally deficient on account of their gender;likewise for my sistren in faith and humanity. Why, then, must we be alienated from each other and our own selves?

Thank you, NJUSA, your post echoes so much how I feel about this.

I highlighted the parts which spoke to me particularly! It is encouraging to hear such a view from a Muslim sister.

Peace!

Faizah · **Re: Mingling and Mixing of sexes -** 05-23-2006

Well, it is a matter of faith for me. I was confused about whether free-mixing was haraam or not when I first started practicing. I actually never used to free-mix before I started practicing and I used to only have female friends. But after about a year of practicing I started that. But it never really felt right to me. The brother was practicing too, and i suspect he knew it was wrong too. But anyway I was really confused and I made du'a to Allah to let me see what was right. And a couple of days later I got my answer. So personally I know what the right answer is for me. Since then I have read up on the matter and I feel that I definitely made the right decision.

Al-Mu'minah · **Re: Mingling and Mixing of sexes -** 05-23-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by NJUSA
I, like many Muslim women before me, work and socialize with men and women. I work in the office with men and women, I tutor men and women, I enjoy social gatherings and conversations with men and women. Some of the men I socialize with are Muslim; some are non-Muslim. The men that I socialize with know the limits and observe them wonderfully, and we keep our intercourse at the social level. Could I restrict myself to female friends only? It's possible, but I'd be a less wise and healthy person in the absence of several friends who care for me and challenge me to be a better person. There is a difference between modesty and segregation. Modesty is a curtain between the sexual and non-sexual parts of one's life. A certain amount of it is neccessary, and can be withdrawn when needed. Segregation is a wall between human beings. It is only needed to prevent danger, and is meant to be more or less permanent. I refuse to believe that morally sound people are an inherent danger to society, and must be put behind walls for the protection of and from other morally sound people. My brethren in faith and humanity are not morally deficient on account of their gender;likewise for my sistren in faith and humanity. Why, then, must we be alienated from each other and our own selves?

Ok so you say all this....but what does Islam say? I think we all know the answer to that and have gone through it. So I'll just leave it at that.

glo · **Re: Mingling and Mixing of sexes -** 05-23-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Umm_Shaheed

But anyway I was really confused and I made du'a to Allah to let me see what was right. And a couple of days later I got my answer. So personally I know what the right answer is for me. Since then I have read up on the matter and I feel that I definitely made the right decision.

It's interesting that you say that.
Because from what I have learned on this board over the past few weeks, it seems to me that Islam leaves only little room for personal interpretation like that.
It really sounds to me that you prayed to God directly for guidance and answers, and he provided those for you.

That sounds great, but are you putting you personal relationship with God before Islamic teachings (as I understand them from previous posters)? And is that acceptable in Islam?

I hope you understand that I am not criticising you! I am just trying to explore how your views fit in with the views of others here.

Looking forward to hearing from you again!

peace.

Faizah · **Re: Mingling and Mixing of sexes -** 05-23-2006

Lol don't worry. No, I didn't know what the islamic ruling was. I didn't know that much about Islam at that time, so I made du'a. And afterwards I found out that i made the right decision. In case you're all wondering... i stopped hanging around with him!

IceQueen~ · **Re: Mingling and Mixing of sexes -** 05-23-2006

alhamdu lillah Allah guided you-may He always keep u guided, ameen!

Faizah · **Re: Mingling and Mixing of sexes -** 05-23-2006

Ameen sis!

NJUSA · **Re: Mingling and Mixing of sexes -** 05-23-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Al-Mu'minah

Ok so you say all this....but what does Islam say? I think we all know the answer to that and have gone through it. So I'll just leave it at that.

The Prophet (SAWS) and his companions (RA) conducted intergender commercial, religious, and social transactions. They did business, worshipped, and visited with one another. I know what people today say what "Islam says", but it doesn't entirely jibe with what the early Madinan community's praxis. For those who wish to part from the Madinan paradigm, that's their choice, but they lack moral authority to force it on others- which is an authority that lies within the Divine Prerogative.

glo · **Re: Mingling and Mixing of sexes -** 05-23-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Umm_Shaheed

Lol don't worry. No, I didn't know what the islamic ruling was. I didn't know that much about Islam at that time, so I made du'a. And afterwards I found out that i made the right decision. In case you're all wondering... i stopped hanging around with him!

I think I had a senior moment then ...
Firstly I thought you were somebody else,
secondly I thought you were saying God told you it was okay to meet with this guy.
Got confused there ...

I still thing people are talking about two different things here.
Meeting secretly with a man, with the potential risk of the meeting developing into a physical relationship may be one thing - having contact with men in a professional or polite social context is another! Isn't it ????

What if as a woman I go into a shop, and the only person around is the man behind the counter? Am I supposed to leave the shop again? Or not be out shopping alone in the first place?? To what extreme are you supposed to take this?

peace.

Nawal89 · **Re: Mingling and Mixing of sexes -** 05-23-2006

If there's a man at the behind the counter then theres no way you can help that can you? As long as you enter the shop with the intention of just getting your stuff and leaving. But if i saw that there is only one man behind the counter, and i'll be the only one in the shop with him, I'll leave. You dont know what could happen.

Also the Sahabah used to do business, sell goods, and i'm sure when you sell you dont sell to women only or women only. Mixing here means without a solid reason, just for fun, just for chat, or oh i didnt see him for soooo long and we used to be co workers yadda yadda. It'll be better if you can avoid mixing totally though. But some times its just not possible i guess..like on the bus..lol.

Silver Pearl · **Re: Mingling and Mixing of sexes -** 05-23-2006

Islam has not made it unlawful for men and women to mix or talk if necessary. Necessary includes many things, things that NJUSA and Nawal have mentioned in their posts. However, some of us have failed to miss the point being made in this thread. Whether intentionally or unintentionally is beyond my capability to vouch for. It is only in the case of idle chit chat that can result in fitnah arising that such intermingling is considered unlawful. I’m sure that is not hard to comprehend nor is there a point for further discussion as it seems evidently clear that people only end up arguing.

If anyone feels the need to ask any further questions in regards to the issue, they may start a thread.

Thank you

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	(#92 (permalink))
Faizah الأ ثرية Status: Offline Posts: 7,363 Reputation: 30194 Rep Power: 65 Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: ~ Daar as-Sa'aadah ~ Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Mingling and Mixing of sexes - 05-23-2006 Well, it is a matter of faith for me. I was confused about whether free-mixing was haraam or not when I first started practicing. I actually never used to free-mix before I started practicing and I used to only have female friends. But after about a year of practicing I started that. But it never really felt right to me. The brother was practicing too, and i suspect he knew it was wrong too. But anyway I was really confused and I made du'a to Allah to let me see what was right. And a couple of days later I got my answer. So personally I know what the right answer is for me. Since then I have read up on the matter and I feel that I definitely made the right decision. __________________

	(#95 (permalink))
Faizah الأ ثرية Status: Offline Posts: 7,363 Reputation: 30194 Rep Power: 65 Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: ~ Daar as-Sa'aadah ~ Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Mingling and Mixing of sexes - 05-23-2006 Lol don't worry. No, I didn't know what the islamic ruling was. I didn't know that much about Islam at that time, so I made du'a. And afterwards I found out that i made the right decision. In case you're all wondering... i stopped hanging around with him! __________________

	(#96 (permalink))
IceQueen~ seaprincess~ Status: Offline Posts: 2,322 Reputation: 6593 Rep Power: 27 Join Date: Mar 2006 Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Mingling and Mixing of sexes - 05-23-2006 alhamdu lillah Allah guided you-may He always keep u guided, ameen!

	(#97 (permalink))
Faizah الأ ثرية Status: Offline Posts: 7,363 Reputation: 30194 Rep Power: 65 Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: ~ Daar as-Sa'aadah ~ Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Mingling and Mixing of sexes - 05-23-2006 Ameen sis! __________________

	(#100 (permalink))
Nawal89 LI Oldskool Status: Offline Posts: 1,821 Reputation: 9435 Rep Power: 31 Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: in a village. Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Mingling and Mixing of sexes - 05-23-2006 If there's a man at the behind the counter then theres no way you can help that can you? As long as you enter the shop with the intention of just getting your stuff and leaving. But if i saw that there is only one man behind the counter, and i'll be the only one in the shop with him, I'll leave. You dont know what could happen. Also the Sahabah used to do business, sell goods, and i'm sure when you sell you dont sell to women only or women only. Mixing here means without a solid reason, just for fun, just for chat, or oh i didnt see him for soooo long and we used to be co workers yadda yadda. It'll be better if you can avoid mixing totally though. But some times its just not possible i guess..like on the bus..lol.

	(#101 (permalink))
Silver Pearl LI Oldtimer Status: Offline Posts: 938 Reputation: 13951 Rep Power: 40 Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Wahid minan naas Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Mingling and Mixing of sexes - 05-23-2006 Islam has not made it unlawful for men and women to mix or talk if necessary. Necessary includes many things, things that NJUSA and Nawal have mentioned in their posts. However, some of us have failed to miss the point being made in this thread. Whether intentionally or unintentionally is beyond my capability to vouch for. It is only in the case of idle chit chat that can result in fitnah arising that such intermingling is considered unlawful. I’m sure that is not hard to comprehend nor is there a point for further discussion as it seems evidently clear that people only end up arguing. If anyone feels the need to ask any further questions in regards to the issue, they may start a thread. Thank you __________________ .: Purifying Intentions :. Dreaming of Sinai.