Question: Some people in my country say that we should try to live and dress like the people at the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him) and not adhere to our social customs that were not in existence during the time of the Companions. They often cite the customs and traditions that we have relating to marriage festivities and family get-togethers as things we should abandon, even though those customs contain nothing sinful. They argue that we should abandon all the customs and traditions of our society that are not found in the example of our Pious Predecessors. Is this attitude correct?

Answered by Sheikh `Umar al-Muqbil, professor at al-Imâm University

The default ruling in Islamic Law regarding the customs and traditions of society is that they are lawful and permissible – as long as they do not in any way contradict the teachings of Islam established by the sacred texts.

Keep in mind that we are talking here about societal customs, not matters of worship and devotion.

Respecting customs is indeed the Sunnah regarding customs. We are supposed to respect the norms and traditions of the society in which we live or in which we find ourselves, as long as those norms and traditions do not violate Islamic teachings.

A society’s norms of dress provide us with an excellent example. We are not supposed to dress in a manner that people regard as strange in order to dress like the people of Arabia at the time of the Companions. Doing something like that goes against the very practice of the Companions.

When Islam spread beyond the borders of Arabia, they never called the people to dress like the inhabitants of the Hijaz region. They left each people to their own manner of dress.

The reason the Companions did not command the people who entered into Islam to change their style of dress is because norms of dress are regulated by custom and culture, and the only requirement is that the norms of dress should comply with the broad dictates of Islamic law – for instance, the dictates of modesty.

The same applies to social customs, like those relating to wedding traditions and wedding receptions. Each society has its own norms and customs about such matters, and these should be respected as long as they do not violate Islamic mores and Islamic teachings.

And Allah knows best.

http://islamtoday.com/show_detail_se...main_cat_id=16

I just thought it would be worth highlighting this part here:

Just in case someone tries to take it the wrong way...

Aleykum selam,

That was an very interesting read, jazakAllah khair sister Malaikah.

I was wondering, I know non of us are scholars, but maybe someone has the answer (with daleel).. I my country, it is not acceptable for cousins to marry, I'm mostly reffering here to 1st and 2nd cousins. But also cousins in general, close or far. The society would hate you, your families would split etc... Great fitnah would be caused, even though it's in the Shariah allowed.

What do the scholars say about this issue? Is it still acceptable for me to marry my cousin, even though it is not in our local customs? Or should I strictly refrain?


I feel those may be too hard questions, I just couldn't help ask it anyways. Bi'idhnillah I will ask scholars about this.

Selam aleykum.

I think the important thing is to follow quran and sunnah. If islam says you can marry, then you can...regardless the custom.

whoa.. usually people don want to be marrried with their cousins.....

But if a person want to be married with his/her cousin voluntarily, I dont think it's against Islam.

It is better to follow the Sunnah, because we are also told to be different from the disbelievers.

it is halal to marry any non-mahram, and it is clearly established that first-second cousins are non-mahrams therefore they are lawful for you.



sis malaaikah i enjoyed the read, jizakAllah khair

From a reality point of view, I would suggest that it should not be done... seems like asking for trouble. But I can't tell you what the Islamic ruling is.

Did you actually read the article? Your post is completely irrelevant. Culture and the sunnah are have nothing to do with each other in many matters, for many things that are culturally determined, there is no sunnah.

id just like to mention that the prophet peace be upon him married his cousin:
ZAYNAB BINT JAHSH: She was the daughter of Prophet Muhammad's aunt, Omameh Bint Abud Almutaleb. The Prophet arranged for Zaynab to marry Zayed Ibn Hareathah Al Kalby. This marriage did not last and the Prophet received a verse in the Quran which stated that if they became divorced, then the Prophet must marry Zaynab (Sura 33:37).

i know plenty of cousin couples who are extremely happy, and at the same time i know couples who have broken.

Like every other marriage it depends on the couple, and the islamic perspective is that it is absolutely lawful.

IbnAbdulHakim, that is kinda irrelevant, unless you can confirm that the couples also had to put up with:

I know many cousins who are happily married too, but that is not the issue, the issue here is the reaction of the rest of the world (not your spouse), and whether it is worth it and you can put up with it.

^ forgive me, i completely forgot that you are talking about sis al-zaara's situation only, my mind was telling me your talking about marrying cousins in general.


yet again i looked like quite the fool

My thoughts also.


Yes I read it. That's what I'm kinda thinking to see if I understood the article correctly, sister please bear with me, hvae sabr with my stupidity ...

If my cultural things don't go against the Sunnah (which is also much based on Arabic -before Islamic time - culture) then even though we cannot completely permit a thing, which in the Sunnah is completely permitted, it isn't really bad/ a sin if it's not so the case in my culture?

Another question: Does that (bolded part) then mean culture is not as important as Sunnah? YES, it is I know... But the Sunnah of the Prophet (salallahu aleyhi waselam) is also based because of his Arabic culture, which then isn't my culture... I'm not really sure what I'm asking.

Sorry for ruining your thread sis..


loq. I see nothing wrong with cousins marrying, but this was a question I've wondered over a time... I know it's not against Islamic rulings, but it would 'cause fitnah which is against Islam... Right?

Sis that wasn't addressed to you!
No need to apologise!

Hang on, so we should avoid things that Islam allows (like marrying 1st cousins) - because we live in a non-muslim country and that we should please them by following their customs?

Hmm, that is indeed quite insightful...

As for the clothing part, well thats somthing very different then what It seems to be, but jazakallah for the read.

Ok I read it a few more times and talked with some people, and I disagree with the article atm..

You can't say its WRONG to do somthing that Islam allows to please kaafirs, I just can't accept that without backing.

N/C.