I think u should use smilies as it wont offened ppl if u are jokin but i agree with muezzin(cousin hehe u know who i am :P) tht this... LOOKS LIKE A BURNT TOMATO!!!!

I've now started to use more emoticon after having read your posts.

Brother Takumi,

I just wanted to express my appreciation regarding this thread. I've learnt so much about the whole posting world and myself. Man, I must be an emotional wreck. **Wondering if there is a welfare clinic I can visit to change my personality**

If I was entitled to give out awards in this forum, for the best thread...this one would surely get it. Wow!!! I love it sssooo much. :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub:

Peace in the Middle East!!!

Generalization vs assumption

Is it wrong to generalize? In a statistical world it might be prudent but in forums that's a grave that you dig for yourself.

For example: All mods are biased! <-----example

Is it wrong to assume? In a meteorological world, it helps people to plan for their vacation: the more dignified word is Weather Forecast But in the forums, you're basically saying to yourself, "hasta la vista, baby" [looking at Muezzin]

Assumption: "You just don't like us women. You are just mean to women" while this brother has been busy advocating Islam for muslim women on the other thread."

Don't generalize men nor women. Gender is really a sensitive issue. Use these words instead:

(1) Most men/women
(2) Many of them
(3) It's a trend that I see...

NEVER generalize race. True, if a reader is lighthearted and gives 1000 excuses to the member, race generalization can go scott free, but USUALLY it entails bickering and all bonds of brotherhood/sisterhood will be lost.

We must admit that how hard we try, there's still a certain attachment to our race, which is perfectly fine. Our race is not our choice. It's Allah's choice for us. We have to be proud that Allah has made a good decision, because He never makes mistake [please oh please tell me that I don't need a proof for this torchlight-switched-on-during-day obvious fact].

We gotta be realistic. Our race and its culture are not perfect and to take that note a little bit further, no race is perfect. If there are some discrepancies in our culture, we must bite the bullet and admit because this is the right thing to do. And if a brother/sister writes about it through his/her observation, we either agree or disagree or be quiet about it.

Example : Most Arabs I've met are self conceited. They think they're the only ones who know Islam the best.

I know. Many Arabs will probably jump at me if I write that. Why?

What if according to MY experience that statement is true?

These are you choices, but NOT limited to:

(1) Agree: I agree brother. I'm glad you didn't generalize. They probably didn't mean to be self conceited. No one's perfect. I'm sorry that you're experience with some Arabs have not been pleasant. I'm an Arab, I can assure you that I will make up for your sense of hurt while interacting with them. Let's forget the past.

(2) Disagree (1): Who the heck do you think you are? What are you? You Japanese are nothing but remnants of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. No wonder you're retarded! Are you a revert? No wonder!!!!!! You don't know nothin'!!!!! Your post is moronic and idiotic! Oh wait, I forgot, you're a cry baby. Boo hooo...CRY ME A RIVER...

(2) Disagree (2): I don't agree with your observation. All my experiences with the Arabs have been super duper nice. They bought me a Rolls Royce, a palace in Casablanca and a golden embroidered Quran! Maybe you hanged out with the wrong people bro!

Peace!

asalaamu alaikum

interesting thread, but i dont get how i was being emotional,
when i said ok... in that other thread i meant it as in i had no idea wut u were trying to tell me

Exactly! I was unsure how to actually take your, ok.....

I had two choices:

(1) You said ok.... to accept my acknowledgment of your marvelous post and reception of my sincerest credits.

(2) You said ok.... to demonstrate that you're unsure or did not understand what's going on.

You're fine, sister. You're NOT being emotional, that's why I like your post.

Read the post by the member who wrote the word "WACK", now, have you had your dose of laughter today?

peace1

Emotional or not, the post that Takumi's referring to was hilarious

Wa alaykum salam warahmatullahi wabarakatuh,

Takumi-Firstly this post has no emotional attachment to what I’m about to say, so read this in a non-critical manner.

Your first post mentioned how you did not what psychobabble yet most of your post analyzes the psychological mindset of which the post could have been written in and what emotions could have been expressed. I find that contradictory to your first post. Do you have a fascination for psychology? Psychology is a great subject from what I have studied but people can find it annoying if not patronizing to break down their posts and interpret what they could have implied. What is the purpose behind your thread?

You could spend years trying to analyze and interpret what everyone is trying to say, however, you won’t come to an answer. Rather it’ll be a baseless theory that can easily be disproved by simply getting one person to contradict just one of your claims. So is there a point? Perhaps you find benefit to this thread, if so my mistake.

In addition I have noticed that you look at other people’s post and judge whether there is emotional drive behind the words and speak of emotional diarrhea. The irony is if you closely analyzed your posts you’d find the same thing and same for me. I can get anyone’s post here and tell you the emotional that can be retrieved from them merely by looking closely into few phrases. Surely we have to be critical of ourselves first before looking at others.

Although I said this post is written from a non-attached emotionless attitude, I myself could sit here and pick out what emotions could have been expressed in my own post. It is difficult, if not impossible, may be impossible to write anything without there being emotion present.

So my question is, what is the point?

I hope you don’t take this post as being anything other than advice.

Salaam

I think we should express good emotion like kindness happiness and forbid evil emotion like jelousy haterd and anger.

Asalaamu alaikum

i kno this has nothng to do with the topic, but im pretty sure i posted other replies in here, an i dont c them

They may have been deleted for being off-topic.

I did say 'may have', I'm the last person to be able to accuse someone of being off-topic

I always do except when members write about ME instead of my opinions. I'm sure you realized that by now.

While psychologist claim savoire faire on the subject, I don't feel it's necessary for me to be a psychologist to commonsense-ly evaluate a post that clearly attacks the personality of the writer rather than the opinions brought forward. Those were mere suggestions and they may be agreed and disagreed upon. The point is sister, HOW do we agree and disagree?

Do we taint it name calling [foolish, idiotic, moronic, wack, police ] or we keep our cool and adress the issue?

My apologies if the purpose of thread is ambiguos to you. This thread serves to exchange tips on How NOT to be Emotional when we respond to other people's post. True, like any other threads, this thread suffers from inconsistency and off topics, but that's no biggie, if those posts are sane and not attacking anyone's personality. The moderators are always here to remove those posts and we gotta be content with that. Such are the rules.

Forum is a place where you may do that. Disaprove my claims, go ahead. But in that process, keep your gender prejudices, assumptions about me, adjectives to describe my mental health and whether or not I want to have the final word, aside. I fail to see that happening in some posts responding to my posts and many other posts for that matter. Most of them, by members whose opinion I have refuted or been refuted, attack me or other members personally.

Tell me, sister, those posts that you read in this thread, that I've used as an examples of bad, emotionally and personally driven posts, do they reflect opinion-based posts? I don't go to Cambridge nor Oxford but my common sense tells me that they're not. They attack personality.

Diarrhea refers to an acute, uncontrollable defecation usually associated with food poisoning or abnormal peristalsis. In short, defecation is a normal process, but when you have diarrhea, your defecation habit goes haywire.

To have a post that is emotional is habitual, maybe for many people, but to have an emotionally diarrheic post, people attack personality not the issue. It's an acute, uncontrollable EMOTION suffered during that time of writing. Thus forgetting the reason why he/she's posting and sometimes, forgetting what the issue at hand.

You are certainly right. I might be wrong to say that while you wrote the post, you were calm and composed, you were not trying to diss me, your primary concern was to present your views without ascribing me to any degrading attributes. Or, I might be right; by just reading your post.

You're a perfect example of how opinions may be brought forward sans name calling and dissing personaliy.

All opinions in this thread will be treated as OPINIONS and we will disagree or agree with that opinion only. I believe I named the thread incorrectly. I'd like the mods to change the name of this thread, to How NOT to be TOO emotional please to prevent further misunderstanding.

I thank you for your input. Your post to this thread is greatly appreciated.

Peace.

Just a word,
Being able to express your emotions in your speech shows one's true sincerity about the topic. One more ting, I want to mention is, this thread helped me too. Ive applied the suggestions made here in my last two religious dialogues, where as usually I would be all defensive about it and everything. But this time, I was all cool about it. alhamdulilah. Generally speaking, knowing myself I have no trouble in expressing my thoughts with others. what I do find challenging is controlling my impulses, I tend to yak whatever is on mind before actually thinking about it.. Im still learning I guess.

i hardly use smileys
im lazy, n i dont really click on da go advanced thingy
but ahh since u want smiley
here they r

BUMP

:brother:

What happened to this thread? We need some more tips, how not to be reactive? inshaAllah.
-some of things, I struggle with stuttering and talkingtoofast when I am under pressure, where I loose myself..