There are four kinds of love, which we must differentiate between, and those who go astray do so because they do not make this distinction. The first of them is love of Allaah, but this alone is not sufficient to save a person from the punishment of Allaah and to earn him His reward. The Mushrikeen, worshippers of the cross, Jews and others all love Allaah. The second is love of that which Allaah loves. This is what brings a person into Islam and out of Kufr. The most beloved of people to Allaah is the one who is most correct and most devoted in this kind of love. The third kind is love for the sake of Allaah, which is one of the essentials of loving that which Allaah loves. A person's love of that which Allaah loves cannot be complete until he also loves for the sake of Allaah. The fourth is love for something alongside Allaah, and this love has to do with shirk. Everyone who loves things alongside Allaah but not for the sake of Allaah has taken that thing as a rival to Allaah. This is the love of the Mushrikeen. There remains a fifth kind of love which has nothing to do with our topic; this is the natural love which is a person's inclination towards that which suits his nature, such as the love of a thirsty person for water or of a hungry person for food, or the love of sleep, or of one's wife and children. There is nothing wrong with this unless it distracts a person from remembering Allaah and keeps him from loving Him. Allaah says (interpretation of the meanings):

"O you who believe! Let not your properties or your children divert you from the remembrance of Allaah"
[al-Munaafiqoon 63:9]

"Men whom neither trade nor sale (business) diverts from the remembrance of Allaah"
[al-Noor 24:37]

The difference between loving for the sake of Allaah and loving something alongside Allaah is one of the most important distinctions. Everyone needs to make this distinction and is indeed obliged to do so. Loving for the sake of Allaah is a sign of the perfection of faith, but loving something alongside Allaah is the essence of shirk. The difference between them is that a person's love for the sake of Allaah is connected to his love of Allaah; if this love becomes strong in his heart, this love dictates that he will love that which Allaah loves. If he loves that which his Lord loves and he loves those who are the friends of Allaah, this is love for the sake of Allaah. So he loves His Messengers, Prophets, angels and close friends because Allaah loves them, and he hates those who hate them because Allaah hates those people. The sign of the love and hatred for the sake of Allaah is that his hatred for the one whom Allaah hates will not turn into love merely because that person treats him kindly, does him a service or meets some need he has; and his love for those whom Allaah loves will not turn to hatred simply because that person does something that upsets or hurts him, whether it is done by mistake or deliberately, in obedience to Allaah or because the person feels that he has a duty to do it for some reason, or because the person is a wrongdoer who may yet give up his wrongdoing and repent. The entire religion revolves around four principles: love and hatred, and stemming from them, action and abstinence. The person whose love and hatred, action and abstinence, are all for the sake of Allaah, has perfected his faith so that when he loves, he loves for the sake of Allaah, when he hates, he hates for the sake of Allaah, when he does something, he does it for the sake of Allaah, and when he abstains from something, he abstains for the sake of Allaah. To the extent that he is lacking in these four categories, he is lacking in faith and commitment to religion. This is in contrast to the love of things alongside Allaah, which is of two types. One is diametrically opposed to the principle of Tawheed and is shirk; the other is opposed to perfection of sincerity and love towards Allaah, but does not put a person beyond the pale of Islam.

The first kind is like the love of the Mushrikeen for their idols and gods. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

"And of mankind are some who take (for worship) others besides Allaah as rivals (to Allaah). They love them as they love Allaah" [al-Baqarah 2:165]

These Mushrikeen love their idols and gods alongside Allaah as they love Allaah. This love and devotion is accompanied by fear, hope, worship and supplication. This love is pure Shirk which Allaah does not forgive. Faith cannot be perfected unless a person regards these idols as enemies and hates them intensely, and hates the people who worship them, and regards them as enemies and strives against them. This is the message with which Allaah sent all His Messengers and revealed all His Books. He created Hell for the people of shirk who love these rivals, and He created Paradise for those who strive against them and take them as enemies for His sake and to earn His Pleasure. Anybody who worships anything from the vicinity of the Throne to the lowest depths of the earth and takes a god and a supporter besides Allaah and associates another beings in worship with Him, will be disowned by the object of his worship when he is most in need of it [i.e., on the Day of Judgement].

The second kind is love for the things which Allaah has made attractive to people, such as women, children, gold, silver, branded beautiful horses, cattle and well-tilled land. People love them with a kind of desire, like the love of the hungry person for food and the thirsty person for water. This love is of three kinds. If a person loves them for the sake of Allaah and as a means of obeying Allaah, he will be rewarded for that; it will be counted as a part of love for the sake of Allaah and a means of reaching Him, and he will still find enjoyment in them. This is how the best of creation [i.e. the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)] was, to whom women and perfume were made dear in this world, and his love for them helped him to love Allaah more and to convey His Message and fulfil His commands. If a person loves them because they suit his nature and his own desires, but he does not give them preference over that which Allaah loves and is pleased with, and he gets them because of his natural inclination, then they come under the heading of things which are permissible, and he will not be punished for that, but his love of Allaah and for the sake of Allaah will be lacking somewhat. If his sole purpose in life is to get these things, and he gives priority to that over that which Allaah loves and is pleased with, then he is wronging himself and following his own desires.

The first is the love of al-Saabiqoon (those who are foremost in Islam); the second is the love of al-muqtasidoon (those who are average) and the third is the love of al-zaalimoon (the wrongdoers).

[Al-Rooh by Ibn al-Qayyim, 1/254]

As for loving women, there is no blame on a person who has love for them. On the contrary, it is part of his perfection (as a human being) for Allah says,

{And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy.} [30/21]

When we speak of rulings of love, we must describe two things. One is optional and one is not. The optional love is what leads to love (eyesight, association, etc.) and this is the love that you have to beware of (for it may lead to unlawful acts.) The non optional love, if it happens by the sudden look, or natural passions that develop, you cannot be blamed for it, but it's how you react to it that Allah will hold you to accountable for.

[Ibn Qayyim]

"Does not the lover think that his love can be concealed? While his eyes are shedding tears and his heart is glowing, Had it not been for love, you would not have shed tears at the ruins (of your beloved), Nor would you become restless at the remembrance of the cypress (tree) at the high mountain, How do you deny love after the testimony, Borne against you by (such) reliable witnesses as your tears and your illness."

"The first love story ever known in the history of Islam was the love of RasulAllah salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam for A'isha, and Masrouq used to call her "The love of Rasullah salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam."

"Seven (people) will be shaded by Allah by His Shade on the Day of Resurrection when there will be no shade except His Shade. (They will be), a just ruler, a young man who has been brought up in the worship of Allah, a man who remembers Allah in seclusion and his eyes are then flooded with tears, a man whose heart is attached to mosques (offers his compulsory congregational prayers in the mosque), two men who love each other for Allah's Sake, a man who is called by a charming lady of noble birth to commit illegal sexual intercourse with her, and he says, 'I am afraid of Allah,' and (finally), a man who gives in charity so secretly that his left hand does not know what his right hand has given."

[Al Bukhari]

If you contemplate about the seven whom Allaah will shade in the shade of His 'Arsh wherein there is no shade but His, you will find that they deserved that shade because of their opposition to al-Hawaa. Indeed the Imaam having authority and power will not be able to establish justice except by opposing his Hawaa. And with respect to the youth who prefers the sincere worship of Allaah over the urge of his youthfulness, had it not been for the opposition of his Hawaa, he would not be able to accomplish this state of worship. As to the person whose heart is attached to the mosques, the thing that drove him to this condition is the opposition of al-Hawaa which invites him to the places of lusts. Concerning the person who gives charitable gifts secretly so that his left hand does not know what his right hand has given, had it not been for his subduing of his Hawaa, he would have not been able to attain this state. And the person who was invited by a charming woman of noble birth [to have illegal sexual intercourse with her], feared Allaah and opposed his Hawaa. As to the one who remembers Allaah in seclusion and his eyes become flooded with tears for fearing Him, the thing that made him reach this state is the opposing of his Hawaa. Consequently, they were saved from being affected by the intense heat of al-Mawqif on the Day of Resurrection and the sweating therein. The people [adhering to] al-Hawaa will experience the utmost degree of intense heat and sweating while they are still waiting to enter the "prison of al-Hawaa". Allaah subhaanahu wa ta'ala is the One to be petitioned to grant us protection from the Ahwaa of ourselves which are inclined to evil, and that He makes our Hawaa in accordance with what He loves and is acceptable to Him. He has power over all things, and He is most worthy of answering our petition.

[Ibn Qayyim Al Jawziyyah - Rawdatul-Muhibeen wa Nuzhatul-Mushtaaqeen]

“Get up, my master, for the night has gone, the day has come and ahead of you lies a long road with little provision, and a small group of righteous people who have gone before us, and we are still here.”

The righteous slave Shu'ayb (Rahimahullaah) wanted to get married. When he saw her he liked what he saw and she agreed on him aswell.

But he feared she wouldnt be patient on his temper and 'akhlaaq, so he said to her: "Know that I am of bad Akhlaaq (temper)".

She replied to him as a wise, mature and patient wife and said:

"Worse than you in Akhlaaq, is the one who causes you to be bad tempered"

(Meaning: If I make you angry, then I have worse Akhlaaq)

He liked her reply and told her immedietly, "Your my wife"

[al-Athkiyaa' by Ibn al-Jawzee]

“Young man, I shall teach you some words [of advice]: Be mindful of Allah, and Allah will protect you. Be mindful of Allah, and you will find Him in front of you. If you ask, ask of Allah; if you seek help, seek help of Allah. Know that if the Nation were to gather together to benefit you with anything, it would benefit you only with something that Allah had already prescribed for you, and that if they gather together to harm you with anything, they would harm you only with something Allah had already prescribed for you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried.”

[At-Tirmidhi]

بدأ الإسلام غـريباً، وسيعـود كما بدأ غـريـبا، فطــوبى للغرباء‏

Islam initiated as something strange, and it would revert to its (old position) of being strange, so good tidings for the stranger.

(Muslim 1:720)

"And they (women) have rights (over their husbands) similar (to those over their husbands) over them to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them"

[al Baqarah 2:228]

Explaining this verse, Ibn Abbas said, "I verily adorn myself for my wife the same as she adorns herself for me. Also I would not ask her to fulfill all the rights which she owes me, so that it would become binding upon me to fulfill all the rights which I owe her"

[Tafsir Ibn Kathir - Hasan]