Dear brothers and sisers,

Please note from the comprehensive advice above that while it refers to chat rooms, it can also be applied to a forum like this. Even more importantly, the private messaging system is a perfect example of men and women being alone together, as warned against by the scholars.

It is for these reasons that we have announced (PMs may be monitored)the monitoring of the pm system: any continuous correspondence between two persons of the opposite gender will be investigated and members warned if under suspicion. These are precautions that the staff of the forum are obliged to undertake for the purpose of the betterment of the forum and safeguarding of an Islamic Community.

We hope that members will take the advice on board, and that we continue to benefit from our ever-growing online community Insha'Allaah. Please remember us all in your du'as,



LI Staff.

I can tell that this is a very serious topic in Islam.

I wonder if I can tell you a story that has happened to me, and has puzzled me somewhat.
I think it fits into this thread, and perhaps people can give me their views.

As I have said before, I live in an area with a large minority of Pakistani Muslims.

A few years ago a young Muslim man owned and ran a halal grocery shop round the corner from our house. I guess he must have been in his early or mid-twenties - at least 10 years my junior.

Although we never used the shop much, we went there to buy Asian food and spices, or sweets for the children. Sometimes I would go with my husband and/or children, other times alone.
I remember him always being very friendly and chatty, and he was probably the first person to tell me a bit about the Muslim lifestyle. Once he had brought some breakfast, which his other had made, and he offered some to me (it was spicy!!

I never felt that our conduct was in any way inappropriate ( and I am very sensitive to men making inappropriate advances!) - but reading this thread and realising how strict Islam is on interaction between men and women, I am not so sure the Muslim community would have approved of us being alone and just chatting amicably together.

After a year or so he sold his shop.
Now he is married with a child. If I am in the park with my children and I see him there with his little boy, he may just acknowledge me with a brief hello, but if he is with his young wife or in male company, he will totally blank me.

To me that is very strange.
If we were aquaintances some years ago, why is it not okay to even just greet each other?

Peace

To the Mods :

Asalam alaikum.

At the end of the day, interaction between sexes isn't a good idea in many ways but it's going to happen. It also depends on what type of interaction. See via PM although yes it's not monitored, you can't see each other (unless there's a webcam thing happening) so there's less desire I think.

Anyways, we're all accountable to Allah (SWT) and if people have been doing wrong by using the PM function in an unIslamic manner then they will be punished accordingly. We can only set a good example at the end of the day. Maybe you should tell the brother/sister who is out of line to be careful.

(Not my words,words of another brother from Another forum)

Assalaam Alaikum,

There is an assumption made in this thread that PMs constitute Khalwa, when this is not true at all.

Further, it is not only Khalwa that provides us with laws and guidance for gender interaction. The practice of private frivolous chatting must not be condoned at all, but has nothing to do with Khalwa.

It is not PMs per se' which is the problem, for much good also comes from the PM facility. If you had access to my PMs, or the likes of HananD, you would consider it a blessing.

The problem is the illicit communication between people, particularly those of the opposite gender. The worse problem is that if people are stopped from PMing here, will end up in more permissive environment and communicate freely and with much more frivolity. We cannot just assess this type of thing in the spirit of "not in our backyard". There has to be a way to allow PM controlling between people where trust is not established, e.g., new users or unknown users. Further, if there is any evidence of Islamic breaches by any user, should not be tolerated, and such people should be banned from the forum.

This obviously raises the question of two consenting adults who involve themselves in illicit or frivolous PMs to each other. This is a difficult one to police. Which leads me to another matter- whether communication between consenting adults is policeable in Islam. I may have to return to this after some thought on the matter, but I suspect not. One of the Principles in Islam is personal accountability when it comes to communication. So, for example a love letter by a person to his/her illegal lover delivered by a third party is held accountable between the two stupid lovers. The deliverer is free from any liability. Food for thought, because "forbidding evil" is very often thrown around without much practical justification. And Islam is justifiably practical....

Finally, as long as perverts, smart alecs and rude people do not PM me, I am fine.

Was Salaam
Afroz

(That is a post from my Teacher and Friend,Sidi afroz ali from the Alghazzali centre in Sydney AUstralia)

Most people on these forums aren't kids, and shouldn't be treated as such.

(That has been posted by a brother i highly respect)

Personally I think (not that it matters to anyone anyway) that it is a terrible idea. Reminds me of the tree-chopping, grave-destroying, building-demolishing solution in Saudi Arabia to prevent people from associating partners to Allah.

Private messages being snooped around (i.e. monitored)! Totalitarian! Vendetta is against it!

(And another..)

Having posted all that,...in my honest opinion,it is ridiculous for Mod's to be Spying on members PM's.We are (Mostly) Adults on this forum,right?How about we get treated like adults?Trust us to be civil,if we cross the line,we'll answer to allah s.w.t and be punished for it.

Thats my opinion anyway,..the mods can do whatever they want.If the mod's on this forum feel as if they are responsible for the Members actions,then so be it.I dont agree with it though,we all answer for our sins,the mods are not responsible for what the members do.The mods are here to keep things under control,to make sure that there are no arguements,that no1 is threatening any1,that no1 is troubling one another.
But Spying on Members PMs , I just think its going overboard.

Wa'salaam.

-Zubair

SirZubair,

Jazaakallah khayr for your comments and feedback. You're not the only individual to voice concern over the issue of PMs, and something similar was asked to a shaykh on another board, his reply was.

We have 2 scenarios here:
1- a person who tries to see what's going on for no reason, just being noasy and maybe without others knowing that he knows what they're doing! If this is the case then it should be stopped.
The prophet sallallahu aliahi wasallam says: "Deeds depend on their intentions".

2- A person who needs to see what's going on for a reason such as being a moderator or so, in this case, you can do that even if they don't like it, or even if they don't allow it as long as your doing it for the sake of the website.
Now there's a third case where people just don't mind letting others see what's going on. And that's fine.

The next question was:

Shaikh,

What about the 4th scenario where we make it very clear to everyone that their activity is not secret to the moderators at all? Since participation in this forum is optional, is that an okay condition to place?

And the answer:

Yes, it's ok from their side since they gave the approval. But what about your side? Having their approval doesn't mean you can see their information even if there's no need to do so! You have to have a good cause!

The cause which we use it for, is to avoid fitnah which can be caused when PMs are sent between the two genders. And those are the only PMs we do view, those which are sent from a bro to a sis and vice versa. Besides, it's has been made clear to everyone that PMs are being monitored. There have been situations when a discussion between a brother and a sister has gone too far, and in need of intervention. We are instructed to 'Enjoin in what is good, and forbid the evil', we are in a position of authority and are capable of stopping some evil.

i dont know if this has been added, but a good reminder to be precautions
http://islamtoday.com/show_detail_se...main_cat_id=39

what i am most concerned about is the amount of reverts showing off there faces on utube and then so many brothers adding them i see so many dangers in that. they say that they are doing dawah but is it so difficult to put on an niqaab when doing dawah...people can easily take advantage of them because they don't know much about the deen but surely its common sense to cover your beauty. i have had met so many friends on there and even spoken to a girl who said she is going to meet one brother alone i told her no you cannot do that, there should be a mahram present. she did not even know what a wali or mahram mean't

“O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allaah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner”
[al-Ahzaab 33:32].

Bump

















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Great reminders. An important thread. JazakAllah

omg i did not know this, couple days a go i posted something it got removed..now i know why thanx

thought this would be useful as a warning about ho

	#1
esperanza revert of many years Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: middle east Gender: Female Posts: 1,101	ghosts of the interent found this post ,warning girls to be careful talking to men ,on the interent even innocently ,as in time it can easily become more seroius ,epecially if your vulnerable thought its suitable to post here The Deceptive Ghosts of the Internet Thursday 20-10-2011 In the present age, Allaah The Almighty has enabled us to achieve great development in the ways and means of communication for the exchange of information and ideas, especially through the internet. The creation of internet forums and social networking sites has allowed the internet to enter almost every home. As a result, many virtuous sisters have explored this amazing and wonderful world. Unfortunately, some men take advantage of the heedlessness of some women and exploit their emotions in matters that do not please Allaah The Almighty through forums, chat rooms, instant messaging, and so on. It has been observed that women are especially vulnerable to the guiles of men in the virtual world; if a man throws a bait, a woman usually falls for it without much ado. Over a period of time, she discovers that she has become prey to an internet ghost whom she neither knows nor sees, but she finds herself in love with him and feels that she cannot live without him. She wishes to speak with one of these virtual 'ghosts' all the time, whereas in the past, the same woman might have considered talking to an unknown male stranger a grave major sin. She might not have expected that one day she would become emotionally attached to a strange man even though she is a virtuous, pure woman. Sometimes, this 'ghost' — or perhaps a better word would be 'wolf' — may be a wicked and evil minded individual who has devilish ways, while the poor sister who is involved in this unfortunate affair may think everything that glitters is gold and be unaware of his real character and inclinations. She may become over-confident or complacent about herself saying that she knows herself and can control herself. When a woman says these words, one should know that she is in great danger. It has been observed on internet forums that one of the means of men being able to prey on a woman is to frequently reply to the postings of a certain female member with words of praise, especially if this sister is particularly voluble. There are very few people who are capable of resisting their emotions and preventing their hearts from softening when someone follows the topics of their interest carefully and replies to their posts in a laudatory manner. O virtuous sister, beware of this! Do not be deceived by the ghosts of the internet. Sometimes, this wicked ghost posts a fabricated problem and embellishes his topic with eye-catching sentences; such as, “I want someone to share my concerns”. Then, he asks this poor girl, who does not know what is being prepared for her, to find a solution for his problem. She occupies herself with the problem and falls into the trap without perceiving this fact. The matter may go further by adding him as a new contact on her messenger. Instead of being a means of acquiring good deeds, the instant messenger program is turned into a means of evil. A sister may add a stranger out of curiosity in order to know him better or to know what he wants. Some sisters may add strange men under the pretext that she seeks an innocent friendship and that chatting over the internet is like normal speech. However, chances are that regular chatting may develop further to become severe sins and misdeeds that only Allaah The Almighty knows about. Sister! O you who are the one who raises the future generations of Muslim men and women; O you who is a protected pearl; beware of Allaah The Almighty and beware of following the devil’s footsteps! The devil does not directly lead a person to sin; rather, he leads him step by step and then lets him fall into sin. Moreover, he may induce the person to justify and rationalize the sin. Beware of minor sins as the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “Beware of minor sins, their example is like a people who camped at the foot of a valley, and one man brought a stick, another man brought a stick, and so on, until they managed to bake their bread (by burning these sticks). There are some insignificant sins which, once they accumulate and one is questioned about them, they lead to his doom.”t