I hope I will get some educationally answer about this topic. Children are very important to me. Not only my own but children in general. They are very special.

In Sweden we are by laws restricted from discipline our children with any kind of violence since 1974, you cannot hit, use any psychical or psychical violence against any children.

I’m curious regarding what Islam is saying about discipline children?


/Peace

Salaam, Peace

Hitting and Verbally Abusing Children

Thank you Salaam it was a very good answer to my question.

I'm especially glad for the part about verbal abuse. I do not believe in that either. And the description of the consequences about what a violent upraising could do to a child is exactly what I believe.

But if I can manage to bring up my children just by showing them right from wrong and make them good people is this to prefer?

"It was reported that he himself (peace and blessings be upon him) never hit a child."

I am so glad to hear that.

Regarding this text it is in fact like that in our country. The authority can take the children from their parent if they are abused. But this is not happens when it is not systematically violence and not from one day to another either.

What will happen if a Muslim use violence when it is not proper and more then as a last resort? Are there any ways to stop the parents from doing it?

Salaam aleikum

This is what I do...

http://www.saferchild.org/tipsfor4.htm

This is from an islamic point of view...

http://www.islamtoday.net/english/sh...sub_cat_id=722

What if the kid's butt gets a little red?

I'm not sure if it is a question to me regarding our safety system for children or a rhetorical question.

Personally I do not think that there is a need to hit children in order to teach them right from wrong. I prefer a respect that does not come from the fear of being hit.

We usually show the kind of treatment to our kids, what we got as a child.

It's a vicious cycle and one has to be courageous enough to stop it.

What to do when you're angry? Well, it depends. I personally don't spank or hit. Violence MOST OF THE TIME don't resolve issues.

If you're sleeping after a hard day's work and suddenly your toddler comes and jumps on you, being angry while warranted, might cause that toddler his butt.

Bring up a hypothetical situation and maybe we can discuss it. There's no cookie cutter solution to anger and its repercussion.

At the end of the day, it's the child who matters most and sadly, it's the child who suffers the most.

Well, even in the house, we should be able to distinguish DISCIPLINE (a consequence of a rule being broken) and PROCEDURE.

For example, is brushing your teeth before going to bed a PROCEDURE or a RULE of the house?

What we tend to do is to get these two things mixed up.

Many wise things on the both linked sites. This is something I really likes (among many other things):

"A child needs to feel that he lives in an environment of controlled freedom. He should not live in an atmosphere of constant control and domination so that he represses his feelings and his identity. "

Thank you I will look a bit more closely at this.

An example of extreme discipline and abuse: A Child Called "It" by Dave Pezler. Read it, after which I don't think you would even want to hit your child.

I have noticed this about kind treatment to the kids. Many times this things has lead to a connection between a Muslim woman and me when we have had children with us. Even if the language is a major issue in not understand each other the kindness toward children need no language to be understood.

Thank you for your answer

I read “It” and also the other books that come after. It is certainly a book that you do not forget.

i agree and this is something which is vital when disciplining children

Salaam aleikum

I would never even raise my voice to my kids. And certainly not abuse them by hitting or by words. SubhanAllah. Our kids are given to us by Allah, to take care of them. How can we even think about hurting something Allah gave us?

I don't have kids, but I have nieces and nephews. I just don't see how they can learn without a beating. Now, I would never smack a kid in the face, or hit them on their backs, or their stomach or chest.. I wouldn't harm them. But their butts are mine. They hurt, they cry, and they get over it. I mean, how do you teach a 1 year old, who has a temper and hits her brothers and sisters, who grabs a fork and nearly pokes her brother in the eye? Do I put her on time out or what? Or what about your 13 year-old boy who steals something from a store? Or when you put a kid on a time out and they deliberately get up? How do you shut up the screaming? Dude. I wasn't hit when I was a kid, but I was a good kid. I listened. But some kids don't work that way.