What is a Misyar Marriage? - Page 2

Rabi'ya · **Re: What is a Misyar Marriage? -** 05-16-2006

thats disgusting and perverted!!

i think we are all aware that there is nothing officially islamic about the arab world!

Rabi'ya:rose:

(sorry just my opinion)

MetSudaisTwice · **Page Updated: 25/05/2006**

salam
ummah is suffering everywhere in the world, it is obvious that the imaan is weak in some places, but why all the foucus on arbas? when equally elsewhere muslims are in need of guidance, this is not so that am backing for arabs, but it is only fair if you look at the ummah as a whole
wasalam

Scents of Jannah · 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Noora_z3

So if the woman willingly waived her rights...wat happens to Childrens rights in such marrgies?

I think women who opt for this type of marriage already have kids, don't want more or are infertile, but would still like a halal relationship with a man. I didn't even know this kind of marriage existed. Sounds great for independant souls! ;)

sonz · **Re: What is a Misyar Marriage? -** 05-16-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by salehah

Peace to all!

What do you have to say about this ?

ya sure they're actually practising muta not misyar or in the name of misyar.. but who draws the limit! our beloved scholars???
and read this too!

http://memri.org/bin/articles.cgi?Pa...rm&ID=SP106005

that is not misyar

what u posted is not even allowed in islam

who cares what about some "muslims" do. if its not allowed in islam then why ru posting what they r doing

masalama

i_m_tipu · **Re: What is a Misyar Marriage? -** 05-16-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Muslim Knight

Therefore, if anyone seeks my opinion on this marriage, I must reply him saying: What do you mean by Misyar marriage. However, if I get an explanation that shows that in Misyar marriage, all the Islamic legal requirements are met, then the marriage is valid.

Those requirements are: an offer and acceptance from both parties; a specified dowry, according to the Qur'anic verse: "And give unto the women, (whom ye marry) free gift of their marriage portions" (An-Nisa': 4), and that the contract wins the consent of the guardian. Thereby, no one has the right to brandish it as unlawful.

i m really confused

if it fulfilled all the Islamic legal requirements then why do people named a marriage in to Misyar marriage

thou i have a little idea about "Misyar"

but why do i need to know doest not it fulfilled all the Islamic legal requirements

HeiGou · **Re: What is a Misyar Marriage? -** 05-16-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by sonz

that is not misyar

what u posted is not even allowed in islam

who cares what about some "muslims" do. if its not allowed in islam then why ru posting what they r doing

This is clearly wrong but I do not understand the rules for a valid marriage if a Misyar marriage is allowed and this is not? Someone else posted on the requirements of a valid marriage,

Quote:

Originally Posted by Muslim Knight

Those requirements are: an offer and acceptance from both parties; a specified dowry, according to the Qur'anic verse: "And give unto the women, (whom ye marry) free gift of their marriage portions" (An-Nisa': 4), and that the contract wins the consent of the guardian. Thereby, no one has the right to brandish it as unlawful.

Surely even this case meets these requirements: there was an offer and an acceptance from both sides; there was dowry; there was permission from the guardian; both sides agreed to the contract.

Therefore there must be another requirement that prohibits one marriage but allows another. The obvious one must be intention - these marriages are banned because their intent is wrong. Can I ask for an opinion on that?

Scents of Jannah · **Re: What is a Misyar Marriage? -** 05-16-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Muslim Knight

Therefore, if anyone seeks my opinion on this marriage, I must reply him saying: What do you mean by Misyar marriage. However, if I get an explanation that shows that in Misyar marriage, all the Islamic legal requirements are met, then the marriage is valid.

Those requirements are: an offer and acceptance from both parties; a specified dowry, according to the Qur'anic verse: "And give unto the women, (whom ye marry) free gift of their marriage portions" (An-Nisa': 4), and that the contract wins the consent of the guardian. Thereby, no one has the right to brandish it as unlawful.

Except divorcees and widows do not need a wali.

Scents of Jannah · **Re: What is a Misyar Marriage? -** 05-16-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Mu'MiNaH~

Sorry.... BUT ISN'T IT BID'AH?
Can someone please prove that this type of marriage isn't bid'ah... because i find it very disturbing!!!

I don't think it's bidah sis. It makes sense. I mean just as in a normal nikah a woman can state that her husband has to divorce her if he takes another wife, similarly in a Misayr marriage a woman is waiving some of her rights.

hang on lemme give u an example...

a lonely/old/divorcee/widow woman marries into polygamy for companionship. She knows the man has another wife and kids and they need him more. So she can waive her rights of him spending equal amounts of time between her and the other wife etc... maybe she'd like his company only now and then. that way they are both clear as to what is expected in the marriage.

Doesn't that make sense?

salehah · **Re: What is a Misyar Marriage? -** 05-16-2006

Peace to all!

Why just arabs...cause they think they own this religion!
I'll pin point the problems where i live. although this is the problem with the whole so called muslim world!
They are the ones who's fatwas most of this poor and pathetic muslim worlds follow blindly.
Their hypocricy... follow what we say not what we do!!!

Quote:

May 16, 2006 No.1164

Arab Feminists on the Inferior Status of Women in Arab Society

In articles that appeared recently in Arab government papers, renowned Egyptian feminist Dr. Nawal Al-Sa'dawi and Saudi columnist Maha Fahd Al-Hujailan speak out against the inferior status of women in Arab society.

In a column in the Saudi government daily Al-Watan, titled "The Stereotype of Woman as Perceived by the Man,"Al-Hujailandeals with social and emotional perspectives.She statesthat women are treated in Arab society as individuals "devoid of personality," whose only status is derived from that of the men in their lives. Accordingly, a woman with an "independent personality" is perceived as an insubordinate woman who must be tamed using violent means, sometimes to the death, as with animals.

Writing in the Egyptian weekly October, Dr. Al-Sa'dawi deals with legal aspects of women's rights and status. She states that the Egyptian legal code discriminates against women. An adulterous woman, she writes, is subject to harsh punishment, while adulterous husbands, as well as men who kidnap, rape, or murder women, receive lenient treatment.

The following are excerpts from the two articles:

Al-Hujailan: Women's Difficult Situation "Reflects Part of Our Culture"
"I received a letter from a Saudi woman who complained about how her husband treated her during the first months of their marriage. She said that a husband treats his wife like a piece of furniture that he had bought with his own money, and is [thus] entitled to use as he pleases. He beats her and hurts her physically, with great brutality. He dismisses her opinions, mocks her if she expresses her opinion on any matter, and forces her [to comply with] his will without listening to her.

"As a matter of fact, it appears that this is a recurring problem in some homes - the names are different, but the suffering and the victims [are similar]. Many married women suffer from this sort of poor treatment in their married lives, and they are not even allowed to complain or grumble about this regrettable situation.

"If we examine this difficult situation [affecting] married women[...] we find that it reflects part of our culture. In considering the man's attitude towards the woman, we find that, from the moment he begins to consider her as a [potential] wife, he draws up in his mind [a list] of criteria that this woman [must meet]. These criteria are based on descriptions derived from his culture, which he has heard from relatives and from those around him[...] [They] have to do with her outward appearance, and that they include no consideration of her personality, her thinking, or her temperament[...]"

It is Considered Reprehensible for a Man to Ask About a Woman's Qualities - Because Woman is the Product of Male Education

"The most a husband is willing to tolerate on the part of his wife is specific demands concerning her home or personal needs - and this is the source of the 'pampered wife' stereotype entertained by some men. When [the husband] meets [these] special demands, he is certain that he has realized her dream and [made her] happy. We will not deny that some women are interested only in this, and nothing else, but they do not represent the [type of] woman with whom this article is concerned.

"Stereotyping the woman as obedient or even as pampered [means] placing her in a [category], with defined borders that are usually related only to her emotional caprices. But when the woman has an independent personality, [with] opinions and a mind [of her own], the man sees her as an insubordinate woman who must be educated until she 'returns to the straight and narrow' or 'learns how to behave'[...]

"It is said that women must be 'tamed' like horses and other animals - and this 'taming' is carried out by using violence against her, until her independent spirit - including her thoughts, her aspirations, and her dreams - is 'murdered.'

"It should be noted that our culture sees the woman in general, and the wife in particular, as devoid of personality, and therefore people often make statements like 'the woman's [status] is derived [from that of] her men.' Her men, in this case, are her father or brother before marriage, or her husband, when she is handed over to him [after marriage]. In some tribes and some regions of our land, it is considered reprehensible for a man to ask about a woman's qualities or [her personality] - because[...] a woman is ultimately perceived to be the product of education by men. Therefore, he should ask about the lineage and qualities of her men, [not about her present qualities].

"Whoever she may be, the woman's personality is shaped by the man - who is entitled to use violence against her and to 'tame' her as he wishes in this manner[...] A good woman is not good by virtue of her own nature or personality, but by virtue of the strong husband who 'tamed' her, repressed her with a strong arm, and used violence to force her to behave according to his will."

The Word 'Taming,' Used in Connection With Treatment of Women in Our Society, Originally Referred to Animals

"The word 'taming', [which has come to be used in connection with] treatment of women in our society, [was originally] applied to treatment of animals. Originally, taming was something that men did with animals that behaved wildly, in order to tame them and make them docile and domesticated.

"When an animal is [taken] from the place where it lived and [moved] to a new home, to a new owner or to a new environment, it will usually be fearful and disoriented[...]

"The new owner has no time to win the animal's affection, or to prepare an environment to which it can adapt and become accustomed. Consequently, he turns to violence, and beats the beast badly for days, until it settles down and surrenders. In some cases, he [even] beats it to death[...]

"Some have regarded this behavior as an [appropriate] way to treat a woman, [in order to] force her to comply with their will. There is no doubt that many women have been repressed in this manner - their spirit was 'murdered' rendering them weak, depressed, and debased[...]"

Women's Longing for the Respect and Esteem of Men Reflects Their Inferior Status

"Some may think that this belongs to the past, and that today women are treated differently owing to the change that has occurred in their lives and status - they are [now] educated, they have jobs and are independent. This may be true in some [cases], where a woman is respected and esteemed by the man. [However,] the fact that women still long, overtly or covertly, for the men's respect and esteem shows that their status in society is [still] inferior. When the man treats [a woman] well, she is overjoyed, as though [such behavior] is a generous favor for which she must be grateful.

"[Some] men still regard women with this sort of condescension. In their eyes, a woman is nothing but a receptacle for their lust, or a servant who works for them - no matter [how much] she has studied or how much she has advanced[...]" [1]

Al-Sa'dawi: The Egyptian Penal Code Does Not Punish a Man Who Kidnaps or Rapes a Young Woman, Providing He Marries Her

Referring to the legal status of women in Egypt, Al-Sa'dawi wrote: "The time has come to reexamine the laws that make it easier for men to attack women, and that create tension in their relations - for violence on the part of the man leads to violence on the part of the woman, both as a response and in self-defense.

"While we hear about many cases of rape and kidnapping of girls, we find that our country's penal code does not punish a man who kidnaps a young woman (aged 16 or more) providing he marries her. The law rewards the criminal with marriage to his victim. When a man wants to marry a young woman who is not interested in him, all he needs to do is to kidnap her. Then he can marry her, and he is released [from custody].

"What applies to kidnapping applies to rape as well. In a study I conducted on rape, I found that the Egyptian family, in order to avoid social disgrace, pushes a girl who was raped into the arms of the criminal, [forcing her] into a miserable and shameful relationship. I still remember the case of that woman who killed her husband after 20 years of marriage. He used to humiliate her daily, because her father had forced him to marry her after he had raped her[...]

"While we hear much talk about fighting prostitution and abominable acts, the law is very lenient towards adulterous husbands. A husband who commits adultery is not punished, but released, if he did not commit adultery in the [family] home but in some other place. If the adultery does take place in the home, and this is proven in a law suit filed by the wife, he is sentenced to a prison term that does not exceed six months.

"On the other hand, a married woman [who commits the same crime] is sentenced to two years' imprisonment, whether she committed the act in the home or elsewhere. There is no doubt that this forgiving attitude towards the man encourages him to [behave] immorally, to dishonor his marriage vows and to act irresponsibly towards his wife and family."

A Man is Permitted to Be Violent Towards His Wife, Even to Murder Her

"The man is permitted to be violent towards his wife and even to murder her. Article 237 of the penal code states that a man who kills his wife in order to defend his honor is sentenced to imprisonment only, and does not receive the punishment meted out for other kinds of murder, namely the death penalty or a life sentence with hard labor[…] [Moreover], the murderer husband may [even] be released if the judge sympathizes with him, as frequently happens.

"If a husband is entitled to defend his honor, why doesn't a woman have the right to defend hers? [Are we to understand that] a man has honor while a woman does not? What is the difference between an adulterous wife and an adulterous husband? Doesn't justice oblige us to evaluate the act by the same standards, regardless of [the perpetrator's] color, gender or status?"

Polygamy Aggravates the Problem of Overpopulation

"While we complain about disintegrating families and abandoned children, the matrimony law permits a husband to divorce his wife for no reason at all except his desire to do so, and to take a second wife merely in order to satisfy his lust. It is a well-known [fact] that polygamy causes the birth rate to rise, since one man has children by more than one women.

"At a time when we are calling to limit births and complain about overpopulation, shouldn't we consider abolishing polygamy? Especially since many religious scholars and jurists believe that Islam essentially forbids polygamy, because it sets an impossible condition, namely that the [the man] treat [all his wives] fairly. Many Islamic countries have preceded us in outlawing polygamy and in requiring the husband, as well as the wife, to apply to the court if they want a divorce.

"It is time that our laws become just. A just law protects [the individual] from violence and provides real protection for the family and children." [2]

thanks

Nicola · **Re: What is a Misyar Marriage? -** 05-16-2006

It's cheaping Gods Holy marriage between a man and a woman.

HeiGou · **Re: What is a Misyar Marriage? -** 05-16-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Muslimah_Sis

a lonely/old/divorcee/widow woman marries into polygamy for companionship. She knows the man has another wife and kids and they need him more. So she can waive her rights of him spending equal amounts of time between her and the other wife etc... maybe she'd like his company only now and then. that way they are both clear as to what is expected in the marriage.

Doesn't that make sense?

You can use that as an example, but in fact we all know the difference is not going to be age but wealth. After all men want to marry young girls, not older women. So it will be a case of richer older men marrying younger girls whose families need the money.

Either that or a way for young Muslims to be Westernised and "date" while remaining within the bounds of Islamic law. I just do not understand it at all and I may be wrong about why they are doing it.

salehah · **Re: What is a Misyar Marriage? -** 05-16-2006

...And while that old lonely lady marries a person, not neccessary married before, just to have occasional sex thats all whenever he feels convenient or needs a change, what in the mean time when he is not arround ...
ohh yes your scholars have told you women need sex just once a week or twice..uhm whatevers the fatwa is, sheikh's people know better! oh then what happens if he comes once in two months..uhmm she might have gotten sick and died in mean time...so no problem...also she can bear his child and take care of "it" to keep her busy because probably thats all she's allowed to do!!
and ohh yes talking about intentions!! what exactly is the mans intention in all this?
You have made a mockery of your religion thats all! a joke out of the sacred institute of marraige and it's purposes! just a contract for satisfying the lust.
What are you trying to justify?

and call yourself muslims when have gone bellow the level of even common humane values, only blindly following the religion of your forefathers and sheikhs not Islam! Brainwashed not to even think whats right let alone question because all responsibilty of that you have put on the shoulders of your imams!
go ahead keep on living in the world of utopia .. and the worse is still to come on this so called muslim world.
Wake up before it's too late.

may Allah guide us all in the right direction.

Amen

salehah · **Re: What is a Misyar Marriage? -** 05-16-2006

ASALAMO ALIKOM SIS!

You see thats the problem .. why you are calm about it!
Look around you! what good you see in muslim word. 20% of worlds population and inwhat condition. except for a few oil rich arabs who manipulate worlds economy but are so deviated from the religion have forgotten the basic human values!!
What we have done to Islam can't you see?
It's not the Islam that prophet brought to us but what our imams told us in their history recordings and we have been told to believe in them through these "profesional" scholars of islam to either obide by it or you are expelled from Islam. Agian I ask who gave them this authority??
but they are not the only ones to be blamed but all those you put up with all this .......
it's about time someone gets out and do something about it or atleast raise a voice against it, and Alhumdulillah I am not alone!
I am only pointing to fingers to only those who think this way or rather don't think at all!

peace again!

searchingsoul · **Re: What is a Misyar Marriage? -** 05-17-2006

Does Misyar marriage give the woman less rights than the Muta marriage? That's the way I read it.

This is acceptable Islamically?

Am I missing something or not understanding this correctly?

Thanks!

salehah · **Re: What is a Misyar Marriage? -** 05-17-2006

Peace to all!

Dear bro. As soon as i get on this board, either my posts start getting deleted or issue gets closed by the moderator or I start getting mails from the moderator not to post any "SUCH" material. (perhaps that exposes whatever they are following and propogating).

Why??because probably this is not according to their agenda which I just got in another private mail...I didn't know this forum was for certain section and not for muslims.

So if I try to point at a finger at the way they are teaching is wrong and show the proof of it they want me to discontinue!!

So dear I will leave it here the way it is every one responsible for their own actions! and you keep searching for your own souls which I hope is not dead yet like many I have seen on this forum.
Still I'll keep trying!

so good luck and jazakAllah!

	(#16 (permalink))
Rabi'ya Ex - Mod Status: Offline Posts: 2,452 Reputation: 4918 Rep Power: 29 Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Cardiff, Wales Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: What is a Misyar Marriage? - 05-16-2006 thats disgusting and perverted!! i think we are all aware that there is nothing officially islamic about the arab world! Rabi'ya:rose: (sorry just my opinion) __________________ Rabi'ya

	(#17 (permalink))
MetSudaisTwice SS NUMBER 1 FAN Status: Offline Posts: 6,837 Reputation: 5977 Rep Power: 36 Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Planet called Earth apparently Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: What is a Misyar Marriage? - 05-16-2006 salam ummah is suffering everywhere in the world, it is obvious that the imaan is weak in some places, but why all the foucus on arbas? when equally elsewhere muslims are in need of guidance, this is not so that am backing for arabs, but it is only fair if you look at the ummah as a whole wasalam __________________ Visit My Page for many recitations from known Imams and Quraa's Page Updated: 25/05/2006 New recordings of Sheikh Saad Numani, Imitator of Famous Imams and Quraa's added!!

	(#25 (permalink))
Nicola LI Oldtimer Status: Offline Posts: 578 Reputation: 136 Rep Power: 17 Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: England Gender: Way of Life: Christian	Re: What is a Misyar Marriage? - 05-16-2006 It's cheaping Gods Holy marriage between a man and a woman.

	(#27 (permalink))
salehah Member Status: Offline Posts: 57 Reputation: 40 Rep Power: 19 Join Date: Oct 2005 Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: What is a Misyar Marriage? - 05-16-2006 ...And while that old lonely lady marries a person, not neccessary married before, just to have occasional sex thats all whenever he feels convenient or needs a change, what in the mean time when he is not arround ... ohh yes your scholars have told you women need sex just once a week or twice..uhm whatevers the fatwa is, sheikh's people know better! oh then what happens if he comes once in two months..uhmm she might have gotten sick and died in mean time...so no problem...also she can bear his child and take care of "it" to keep her busy because probably thats all she's allowed to do!! and ohh yes talking about intentions!! what exactly is the mans intention in all this? You have made a mockery of your religion thats all! a joke out of the sacred institute of marraige and it's purposes! just a contract for satisfying the lust. What are you trying to justify? and call yourself muslims when have gone bellow the level of even common humane values, only blindly following the religion of your forefathers and sheikhs not Islam! Brainwashed not to even think whats right let alone question because all responsibilty of that you have put on the shoulders of your imams! go ahead keep on living in the world of utopia .. and the worse is still to come on this so called muslim world. Wake up before it's too late. may Allah guide us all in the right direction. Amen

	(#28 (permalink))
salehah Member Status: Offline Posts: 57 Reputation: 40 Rep Power: 19 Join Date: Oct 2005 Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: What is a Misyar Marriage? - 05-16-2006 ASALAMO ALIKOM SIS! You see thats the problem .. why you are calm about it! Look around you! what good you see in muslim word. 20% of worlds population and inwhat condition. except for a few oil rich arabs who manipulate worlds economy but are so deviated from the religion have forgotten the basic human values!! What we have done to Islam can't you see? It's not the Islam that prophet brought to us but what our imams told us in their history recordings and we have been told to believe in them through these "profesional" scholars of islam to either obide by it or you are expelled from Islam. Agian I ask who gave them this authority?? but they are not the only ones to be blamed but all those you put up with all this ....... it's about time someone gets out and do something about it or atleast raise a voice against it, and Alhumdulillah I am not alone! I am only pointing to fingers to only those who think this way or rather don't think at all! peace again!

	(#29 (permalink))
searchingsoul LI Oldtimer Status: Offline Posts: 997 Reputation: 300 Rep Power: 16 Join Date: May 2006 Location: USA/UAE Gender: Way of Life: Christian	Re: What is a Misyar Marriage? - 05-17-2006 Does Misyar marriage give the woman less rights than the Muta marriage? That's the way I read it. This is acceptable Islamically? Am I missing something or not understanding this correctly? Thanks!

	(#30 (permalink))
salehah Member Status: Offline Posts: 57 Reputation: 40 Rep Power: 19 Join Date: Oct 2005 Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: What is a Misyar Marriage? - 05-17-2006 Peace to all! Dear bro. As soon as i get on this board, either my posts start getting deleted or issue gets closed by the moderator or I start getting mails from the moderator not to post any "SUCH" material. (perhaps that exposes whatever they are following and propogating). Why??because probably this is not according to their agenda which I just got in another private mail...I didn't know this forum was for certain section and not for muslims. So if I try to point at a finger at the way they are teaching is wrong and show the proof of it they want me to discontinue!! So dear I will leave it here the way it is every one responsible for their own actions! and you keep searching for your own souls which I hope is not dead yet like many I have seen on this forum. Still I'll keep trying! so good luck and jazakAllah!