Are long engagements allowed in islam

sweetbanana86 · **Are long engagements allowed in islam -** 07-24-2006

Salam alaikum brothers and sisters, i hope this reaches you all in good health and strong imman

I was wondering if long engagements are allow islam, becuz it seems everyone wants to see me marry but i still feel i need to grow but there is a particular person i want to marry and if agree upon by other the person, to give me a some more to grow and then get married, will that be okay,

Nusaybah · **Re: Are long engagements allowed in islam -** 07-24-2006

i was also wondering about the same thing

limitless · **Re: Are long engagements allowed in islam -** 07-24-2006

Interesting, I need to know this as well, would like a islamic perspective answer rather than a opinion answer.

sweetbanana86 · **Re: Are long engagements allowed in islam -** 07-24-2006

I would like both to be honest,

- Qatada - · 06:03 PM

What is done between the engagement and the marriage contract, and the marriage contract and the wedding party?
http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?re...txt=engagement

http://members.tripod.com/maseeh1/advices7/id209.htm

You might also find these links useful insha'Allaah:

Islam's Stance on Love and Marriage
http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/S...=1119503544448

The Relationship between the Engaged Couple
http://www.islamonline.net/fatwa/eng...hFatwaID=19357

Ruling on engaged couple touching one another etc.
http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?re...age%20contract

He wants to talk to a woman before he proposes marriage to her
http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?ln...QR=13791&dgn=4

more questions and answers related to this topic:
http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?pg...pglist=&ln=eng

They may be indirect to your question, but you'll find them useful insha'Allaahu ta'aala.

Ghazi · **Re: Are long engagements allowed in islam -** 07-25-2006

Long engagments are cool, they'll let you see your potentional spouse's true character.

- Qatada - · **Re: Are long engagements allowed in islam -** 07-25-2006

On my opinion.. the longer the engagement - the bigger the chance of fitnah. If one was to carry on the engagement on for a long time - the person sort of gets attatched to the other person, whereas the person you're engaged to is just like any other non mahram female or male.

So getting married is alot better because then obviously you'll realise the character of that person and mould yourself (plus vice versa) into the other persons personality. Plus everything is permissible for both parties then insha'Allaahu ta'aala, without a chance of shaytan making both parties fall into major sins etc.

Allaah Almighty knows best.

Ghazi · **Re: Are long engagements allowed in islam -** 07-25-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fi_Sabilillah

On my opinion.. the longer the engagement - the bigger the chance of fitnah. If one was to carry on the engagement on for a long time - the person sort of gets attatched to the other person, whereas the person you're engaged to is just like any other non mahram female or male.

So getting married is alot better because then obviously you'll realise the character of that person and mould yourself (plus vice versa) into the other persons personality. Plus everything is permissible for both parties then insha'Allaahu ta'aala, without a chance of shaytan making both parties fall into major sins etc.

Allaah Almighty knows best.

Good Point

muslimah_here · **Re: Are long engagements allowed in islam -** 07-25-2006

MASHALLAH nice resourceful website links uv given brother, its a shame that marriage has been complicated with so many unislamic customs that lead to wastage of wealth and resoruces, if wed marry INSHALLAH according to islamic shariah then our marriage would be full of blessings INSHALLAH.

FI-AMANALLAH.

sweetbanana86 · **Re: Are long engagements allowed in islam -** 07-25-2006

wa alaikum salam i haven't had much time to look at the links but i will insh'allah but i was wondering what the Prophet (pbuh) and A'isha (ra) they were married at 6 but did not consumate the marriage untill she was 9 why the gap, was it becuz she still needed time to grow physically as well as mentally

and i was told a marriage is not official until you consumated

- Qatada - · **Re: Are long engagements allowed in islam -** 07-25-2006

I think it was because when she (Aa'isha radhiAllaahu anha) was 9 - she reached the age of puberty then. Even though the contract was done at the age of 6.

Allaah Almighty knows best.

sweetbanana86 · **Re: Are long engagements allowed in islam -** 07-25-2006

okay that makes perfect sense, may Allah bless you , for you have finally answer a question that many seem to not know the answer too

wa alaikum salam

- Qatada - · **Re: Are long engagements allowed in islam -** 07-25-2006

Ameen to your dua' sister. You might also want to check this thread out insha'Allaahu ta'aala:

The Marriage of Aisha to the Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him)
http://www.islamicboard.com/refutati...phet-pbuh.html

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

	(#1 (permalink))
sweetbanana86 LI Senior Member Status: Offline Posts: 111 Reputation: 19 Rep Power: 15 Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: United States of Hell, sike America Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Are long engagements allowed in islam - 07-24-2006 Salam alaikum brothers and sisters, i hope this reaches you all in good health and strong imman I was wondering if long engagements are allow islam, becuz it seems everyone wants to see me marry but i still feel i need to grow but there is a particular person i want to marry and if agree upon by other the person, to give me a some more to grow and then get married, will that be okay,

	(#2 (permalink))
Nusaybah Umm Amarrah Status: Offline Posts: 319 Reputation: 85 Rep Power: 19 Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: somewhere on earth Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Are long engagements allowed in islam - 07-24-2006 i was also wondering about the same thing __________________ Salah Bo Khater All the Way أم عمارة نسيبة بنت كعب المازنية

	(#3 (permalink))
limitless LI Senior Member Status: Offline Posts: 438 Reputation: 687 Rep Power: 16 Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Limitless Canada Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Are long engagements allowed in islam - 07-24-2006 Interesting, I need to know this as well, would like a islamic perspective answer rather than a opinion answer. __________________ The Possibilities in Islam are limitless. The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want. -Ben Stein They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself. -Andy Warhol

	(#4 (permalink))
sweetbanana86 LI Senior Member Status: Offline Posts: 111 Reputation: 19 Rep Power: 15 Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: United States of Hell, sike America Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Are long engagements allowed in islam - 07-24-2006 I would like both to be honest,

	(#5 (permalink))
- Qatada - Ummah Under 1 Banner Status: Offline Posts: 10,381 Reputation: 41985 Rep Power: 84 Join Date: May 2005 Location: ...travelling to the hereafter.. Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Are long engagements allowed in islam - 07-25-2006 What is done between the engagement and the marriage contract, and the marriage contract and the wedding party? http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?re...txt=engagement http://members.tripod.com/maseeh1/advices7/id209.htm You might also find these links useful insha'Allaah: Islam's Stance on Love and Marriage http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/S...=1119503544448 The Relationship between the Engaged Couple http://www.islamonline.net/fatwa/eng...hFatwaID=19357 Ruling on engaged couple touching one another etc. http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?re...age%20contract He wants to talk to a woman before he proposes marriage to her http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?ln...QR=13791&dgn=4 more questions and answers related to this topic: http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?pg...pglist=&ln=eng They may be indirect to your question, but you'll find them useful insha'Allaahu ta'aala. __________________ iDawah.com Bringing Dawah back..to the future! http://salaf-stories.blogspot.com Last edited by - Qatada -; 07-25-2006 at 06:03 PM..

	(#6 (permalink))
Ghazi Shaytan-Buster Status: Offline Posts: 2,746 Reputation: 2027 Rep Power: 24 Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Travelling through Dunya Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Are long engagements allowed in islam - 07-25-2006 Long engagments are cool, they'll let you see your potentional spouse's true character. __________________ The Ummah

	(#7 (permalink))
- Qatada - Ummah Under 1 Banner Status: Offline Posts: 10,381 Reputation: 41985 Rep Power: 84 Join Date: May 2005 Location: ...travelling to the hereafter.. Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Are long engagements allowed in islam - 07-25-2006 On my opinion.. the longer the engagement - the bigger the chance of fitnah. If one was to carry on the engagement on for a long time - the person sort of gets attatched to the other person, whereas the person you're engaged to is just like any other non mahram female or male. So getting married is alot better because then obviously you'll realise the character of that person and mould yourself (plus vice versa) into the other persons personality. Plus everything is permissible for both parties then insha'Allaahu ta'aala, without a chance of shaytan making both parties fall into major sins etc. Allaah Almighty knows best. __________________ iDawah.com Bringing Dawah back..to the future! http://salaf-stories.blogspot.com

	(#9 (permalink))
muslimah_here LI Senior Member Status: Offline Posts: 100 Reputation: 39 Rep Power: 16 Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: UK Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Are long engagements allowed in islam - 07-25-2006 MASHALLAH nice resourceful website links uv given brother, its a shame that marriage has been complicated with so many unislamic customs that lead to wastage of wealth and resoruces, if wed marry INSHALLAH according to islamic shariah then our marriage would be full of blessings INSHALLAH. FI-AMANALLAH.

	(#10 (permalink))
sweetbanana86 LI Senior Member Status: Offline Posts: 111 Reputation: 19 Rep Power: 15 Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: United States of Hell, sike America Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Are long engagements allowed in islam - 07-25-2006 wa alaikum salam i haven't had much time to look at the links but i will insh'allah but i was wondering what the Prophet (pbuh) and A'isha (ra) they were married at 6 but did not consumate the marriage untill she was 9 why the gap, was it becuz she still needed time to grow physically as well as mentally and i was told a marriage is not official until you consumated

	(#11 (permalink))
- Qatada - Ummah Under 1 Banner Status: Offline Posts: 10,381 Reputation: 41985 Rep Power: 84 Join Date: May 2005 Location: ...travelling to the hereafter.. Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Are long engagements allowed in islam - 07-25-2006 I think it was because when she (Aa'isha radhiAllaahu anha) was 9 - she reached the age of puberty then. Even though the contract was done at the age of 6. Allaah Almighty knows best.

	(#12 (permalink))
sweetbanana86 LI Senior Member Status: Offline Posts: 111 Reputation: 19 Rep Power: 15 Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: United States of Hell, sike America Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Are long engagements allowed in islam - 07-25-2006 okay that makes perfect sense, may Allah bless you , for you have finally answer a question that many seem to not know the answer too wa alaikum salam __________________ Islam equals peace

	(#13 (permalink))
- Qatada - Ummah Under 1 Banner Status: Offline Posts: 10,381 Reputation: 41985 Rep Power: 84 Join Date: May 2005 Location: ...travelling to the hereafter.. Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: Are long engagements allowed in islam - 07-25-2006 Ameen to your dua' sister. You might also want to check this thread out insha'Allaahu ta'aala: The Marriage of Aisha to the Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him) http://www.islamicboard.com/refutati...phet-pbuh.html __________________ iDawah.com Bringing Dawah back..to the future! http://salaf-stories.blogspot.com