Quran Memorization for Kids
Results 1 to 18 of 18

Thread: Tips for the Convert Muslim

  1. #1
    IB Oldtimer Array Signor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    1,014
    Threads
    79
    Reputation
    7949
    Rep Power
    23

    Default Tips for the Convert Muslim


    Tips for the Convert Muslim

    1. Practice Islam as much as you can


    “He who loves my Sunnah has loved me, and he who loves me will be with me in Paradise.”
    -The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (Tirmidhi)


    As a new Muslim, you will have trouble keeping up with prayers every day, fasting during Ramadan, and the many other practices in this religion. The struggle that we face, with such a radical change in lifestyle, is difficult and will take some time. Awkward moments are bound to happen, don’t fret. You are not expected to wake up at 4am every morning to pray tahajjud (extra night prayers). If you have problems with certain practices, then gradually work yourself into the mindset of worship. A counselor once told me when I was young, “How do you eat an elephant? Just One bite at a time.” Think of it as one step at a time. Pray to Allah (swt) and ask for Him to make it easy for you and the rest will come naturally.


    Keeping up with your devotional practices is something that will strengthen your faith immensely. Read the Qur’an whenever possible. Find a collection of hadith, such as Riyadh us-Saliheen, and read it often. You will start to feel a connection to Allah (swt) and you will become used to Islam as a religion and way of life.


    2. Respect your parents


    “Heaven lies under the feet of your mother.”
    -The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ(Ahmad, Nasa’i)


    Keeping up a good relationship with your family is essential. Try to avoid bringing up or taking part in controversial subjects regarding religion. This is almost unavoidable, but your parents will eventually accept that Islam is not going to turn you into a terrorist if you stay calm during these tense moments. Gradually, your parents will gain some respect and understanding of Islam and may start to become genuinely interested. This is a great sign and insha’Allah, God will make a way for them to accept Islam.


    What you do not want to do is act like you know everything, attempt to debate everything, or overly defend yourself in a way that might make you angry or upset. This will just cause heartache and uneasiness. Your priority now should be to work on yourself.


    3. Find a teacher


    “For him who follows a path for seeking knowledge, Allah will ease for him the path to Paradise.”
    -The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ(Muslim)


    Finding a teacher to bounce ideas off of is a great way to learn your deen (religion). I found it is good to find someone with as much knowledge as possible who also has an understanding of the English language and American culture. It is difficult to listen to someone with a thick accent or someone with a back-home mentality. When I first accepted Islam, I would drive every day to visit my teacher and I would ask him what seemed like an endless stream of questions. Sometimes he seemed overwhelmed! This is a great way to clarify things you hear on Sheikh Youtube or Google or any part of the Qur’an you are reading at the time.
    This will also help you have a real grounding in the Islamic tradition. You will eventually have spent more time learning Islam than most people from Muslim families. Maintain a sense of humility if you do gain a lot of knowledge, as there will always be someone who will be more knowledgeable than you. Learn everything you can in small chunks, no one is asking you to be a scholar!


    4. Keep away from debates and arguments


    “Verily anger spoils faith as aloe spoils honey.”
    -The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi)


    Trying to constantly defend your religion is something that will cause you a lot of stress. I remember when I first accepted Islam, it seemed like the whole world was after me. This may happen to different people at different levels, but it was a very overwhelming experience for me. The best thing to do is avoid these arguments at all costs. If you are mature about your religion and display a desire to explain yourself without refuting others, then many doors will open for you. You are bound to give someone a refreshing view of Islam, which is what so many people are hungry for after seeing Islam in such a negative light in the media.


    Staying away from these discussions will put you at peace and give you breathing room. A lot of converts are not really comfortable with bringing up their religion because of the backlash they receive. Personally, I recognized that if I just mention it when necessary, I get a more positive reaction. You’ll be surprised to hear “Oh that’s cool dude, what made you pick that religion?” This is always an opportunity for da’wah (inviting to Islam).


    5. Gain a connection to the Arabic language


    “Indeed, We have sent it down as an Arabic Qur’an that you might understand.”
    -The Holy Qur’an, 12:2


    This is one of my favorite parts of becoming a Muslim. To be honest, I’m a language-lover and I realize everyone is not the same in this regard. Just because you failed high school Spanish though doesn’t mean you will have trouble with Arabic. There are many tricks to learning the language that I won’t go into here, but there are ways to make this easier on yourself. These methods can be found online or in books; with a little research you can pave your way to gaining an understanding of Arabic.


    Start by learning the alphabet and connecting letters together. You can learn this in an afternoon if you know someone that is a native Arabic speaker (but go at your own pace). Sit on that for a while and eventually you will be able to follow along in the Qur’an if you listen to a recitation on your computer or MP3 player. You will start to recognize words, after which you can get into simple grammar rules. I recommend learning common nouns and prepositions first (words like “in”, “on”, “for” and “with”).


    Arabic can be really enjoyable, and you are bound to gain an Islamic vocabulary after listening to talks or lectures. Eventually you will know meanings of words like “furqaan” and “sajdah” and you’ll be able to use them in conversations with Muslims. Sabr (patience) is essential!


    6. Understand Islam’s organic nature


    “Those who make things hard for themselves will be destroyed. (He said it three times.)”
    -The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (Muslim)


    Coming to Islam will sometimes put you in a situation where you are overwhelmed with opinions that are hard to follow. As an example, one might be told that you have to wash your feet every time you make wudhu (ablution) unless you wipe over leather socks that have been worn from your previous wudhu. For most Americans, the idea of wearing leather socks is something that we find extremely unusual. If we do a little research, we find there are opinions of scholars that mention the permissibility of wiping over cotton socks (even ones with holes in them!). To an American convert, these opinions can cause a huge sigh of relief.


    7. Maintain your Identity


    “O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted.”
    -The Holy Qur’an, 49:1


    Being a Muslim is a huge part of your identity now. That doesn’t mean you can’t barbeque with your friends or watch football on Sundays. If there are things in your culture that do not directly contradict with basic Islamic creed, then you are welcome to keep those things in your life. You do not need to start wearing Arab or Indian clothing. As long as your clothes cover what they are supposed to cover, you are in the clear.
    Many converts are also exposed to really weird food that is overly spicy or funny tasting. This might lead us to think that eating curry is sunnah or something righteous. We can still have our own culture and tastes in food: pot roast and beans are still halal!


    There are many other examples of things that you will be exposed to that are from foreign cultures and do not necessarily have anything to do with Islam. Our goal as new Muslims is to worship Allah (swt), not to add a Pakistani or Arab identity to our persona.


    It is good to have a teacher who understands the subtleties of different opinion in fiqh (Islamic jurisprudence) and can inform you of differences among the scholars on issues that are of concern. Most people in masajid will have a very limited view of the juristic possibilities inside the Islamic tradition. Islam is a vast tradition and we should not make it small. These diverse opinions are there to help us, not cause strain on ourselves.


    8. Force yourself to go to the masjid


    “The person who receives the greatest reward for the Salah is one who lives the farthest and has the farthest to walk.”
    -The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (Bukhari, Muslim)


    Going on Fridays is a given, but I would also recommend trying to fit a few prayers (at least) per week in the masjid. This will open many doors for you and will insha’Allah grant many good deeds to your account. You will meet people who are connected to Islam; networking opportunities are more readily available; and you are bound to make long-lasting friends. This is one of the things that I really love about Islam, that you can almost always find people in the masjid.


    Although this may be hard initially, try and go to the masjid. The payoff will be huge, even if you just pray and leave right after. You will eventually warm up to the community and you can feel more comfortable going to the masjid whenever you like.


    9. Find Muslim friends and avoid severing ties


    “On the Day of Resurrection Allah Almighty will proclaim: “Where are those who have mutual love for My Glory’s sake? Today I shall shelter them in My shade where there is no shade but Mine.”
    -The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (Muslim)


    Saying “As-salamu ‘Alaykum” ( “Peace be upon you”) to people you see on campus or at the grocery store is a real blessing in Islam. It immediately lets people know you are Muslim and they usually will be happy to return the greeting and hopefully share a few words with you. Doors of friendship will be opened and you will meet lots of people. Try and spend some time with Muslims when you can. It is beneficial to remind yourself that you are not the only Muslim on the planet and you share your religion with almost 2 billion people around the globe.


    Also, don’t sever your friendships with your non-Muslim friends unless they are constantly partying or using the list of major sins as their weekend to-do list. You can be a light to your Christian, Agnostic, Jewish, or Atheist friends. You never know who Allah (swt) will guide, and showing that you are living an ethical life can encourage these people to learn a little about Islam or change their mind to having a positive view of the religion.


    10. Avoid Loneliness


    “Islam began as something strange and will revert to being strange as it began, so give glad tidings to the strangers.”
    -The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (Muslim)


    This is a major problem in the convert community. We are lonely. The best thing we can do to fight the feeling of loneliness is to spend as much time as possible with good company. Having dinners with people a few nights a week is a sure way to maintain a good attitude. The practice of becoming a nun or a monk is alien to Islam; we are social creatures and Islam recognizes this.


    Try not to lock yourself away in your apartment to avoid the world. This will just cause a vicious cycle that will cause deep depression and can lead to searching for solace in haram (unlawful).
    Make it an obligation on yourself to remain a sociable human being. It takes a lot of work but the result is happiness and contentment in life.


    11. Stay away from extremism


    “And thus we have made you a just community that you will be witnesses over the people.”
    -The Holy Qur’an, 2:143


    Most converts do not enter Islam looking for an extremist point of view. Unfortunately, we have seen some converts do end up overseas working for terrorist organizations. This is something that can happen from a person feeling victimized or ostracized by their own culture and being overcome with anger.
    I personally have not had a problem with anyone trying to “radicalize” me. It does happen enough though that it should be a concern. It will be best for you to keep your head on your shoulders and not get caught up with extreme points of view. Know that all of the scholars overseas and in America have absolutely refuted terrorism in their fatawa (legal rulings). Extremism is on the very edges of the Islamic thought. Do your best to stay on a middle way.


    12. Do not despair


    “So know that victory is with patience, and relief is with distress and that with hardship comes ease.”
    -The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ

    Being a convert to Islam, you will face a lot of tribulations. There is not anything that you cannot overcome though, and never despair in Allah (swt).


    Allah (swt) guided to you to Islam, you searched for the answer and you found it. Be happy and constantly remind yourself of the blessings in your life. There are a lot of good things that will happen to you and you are on the straight road to Jannah (paradise). Rejoice in being Muslim. Remember the Sahabah (companions) were all converts to Islam and they were human beings that came from Adam and Eve just like you! Be strong and find comfort in your prayers and worship to Allah (swt).

    Source
    ----------------------------------
    These are surely not the MUST DO's and DON'ts But will be helpful Insha Allah.Leaving you with this beautiful dua,you can pray in English offcourse.






  2. #2
    فصبرٌ جميلٌ Array Dreamin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    @ my desk
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    2,790
    Threads
    80
    Reputation
    23879
    Rep Power
    48

    Default Re: Tips for the Convert Muslim


    Jazak-Allaho khairan for posting. Have read a bit of it and see that points are helpful. I will read it all in-sha-Allah.


    ARABIC MADE EASY



    e-book: $3.99
    Paperback: $19.76
    Hardcover (Collectors): $36.61
    http://www.goodreads.com/KokabRahman

  3. #3
    Limited Member Array sajjad7006's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    26
    Threads
    1
    Reputation
    136
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: Tips for the Convert Muslim


    These are the best tips for new reverting Muslimah or perfect guidelines for those who wants to enter in the Islam.
    JazakAllah

  4. #4
    IB Oldtimer Array Signor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    1,014
    Threads
    79
    Reputation
    7949
    Rep Power
    23

    Default Re: Tips for the Convert Muslim


    Six Tips to Boost Your Faith After Shahadah

    As a convert to Islam, you can easily remember the moment that you discovered that Islam was the one and only true religion.

    The moment of realization is an intense whirlwind of emotions such as relief, joy, gratitude and peace.
    The moments leading up to the taking of the Shahadah, or Islamic declaration of faith, are equally exuberating. You wear your best clothes, travel to the mosque and pronounce the testimony of faith:
    Ash hadu an la ilaha illa Allah, wa ash hadu anna Mohammadan rasoolu Allah” (I bear witness that there is no god but Allah, and that Muhammad is His Messenger) in public for the very first time.
    Afterwards, the Muslims at the mosque will offer their congratulations and so too will the Muslims in your community. Your new faith has lit up your heart and the sense of the Islamic nation surrounds you.


    However, it is important to realize that the level of excitement you felt in taking the shahadah will likely fade away as you get back to living. It’s inevitable and it does not necessarily mean that you are a “bad” Muslim or have done anything wrong. The faith, ebbs and flows just like a babbling brook in the middle of a grassy meadow. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:
    "Faith wears out in the heart of any one of you just as clothes wear out, so ask Allah to renew the faith in your hearts." (Al-Haakim)
    There are several reasons why our faith decreases. Everything from engaging in unlawful activities to committing major and minor sins takes a toll on our faith. The good news is that there are several ways that you can maintain an optimum level of faith and enjoin the good while forbidding the evil.

    Turn to God First

    When you feel that your faith is weakening or that your heart is sick, turn to God in sincere dua, or supplication. When a Muslim’s heart is filled with obedience, love and gratitude towards God, Satan increases his efforts to lead the faithful Muslim away from his Creator. He does so by means of waswas (insinuating whispers) that makes a Muslim question his faith, feel nervous about his choices or even causes him to forget to perform certain acts of worship such as the obligatory prayers. You can fight off the whispers from the Shaytan by asking for Almighty’s refuge from it.


    Another way is to increase your good deeds and increase other acts of worship. Perform dhikr (the remembrance of God), as often as you can and read the Quran on a daily basis. Spend in charity of what you are able, even if it is only a smile or a helping hand to someone who needs it. Most importantly, remember that you are not alone in suffering from weak faith. It can happen to any Muslim.

    Follow the Five Pillars of Islam

    God has given us the perfect prescription for joy and success in this world and the next. The first part of that prescription is the gift of the Quran and Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad. The second part is the five pillars of Islam:

    1. Shahadah – Testimony of Faith
    2. Prayer
    3. Zakat – annual alms for the poor.
    4. Fasting in Ramadan
    5. Hajj - Pilgrimage to Makkah

    In architecture, pillars are used to stabilize a building and give it strength. So too do the five pillars of Islam give a Muslim strength. By following the five pillars of Islam, you create a sound foundation for your life as a Muslim. Just like a building with weak pillars threatens to topple over, not following the five pillars of Islam will have a similar effect on your faith.
    As a new Muslim, in particular, it may take you some time to learn the pillars of Islam perfectly. However, you must hasten to arm yourself with proper Islamic reading materials that teach you how to perform each pillar in the correct way. For example, there are dozens of Islamic books that painstakingly detail how to fast properly in Ramadan. There is no excuse for not increasing your Islamic knowledge especially in our digital age. Countless Islamic websites that adhere to the Quran and Sunnah are only a couple of mouse clicks away.


    Ponder on God’s Creation

    The beauty of the rose as its petals intertwine seamlessly, the brightness of the sun as it rises each dawn, the carefree laugh of an infant for the very first time – these are just a few of the signs of God that are evident in His creation. All you really have to do is open your eyes, look and reflect. God Almighty reveals in the Quran: {And on the earth are signs for those who have Faith with certainty. And also in your own selves. Will you not then see?} (Adh-Dhariyat 51:20-1)

    Let’s use the example of the Prophet Muhammad. Years before he received his mission as the Last Messenger, he would often contemplate the creation and reflect upon it.


    Learn the Attributes of God
    There are ninety-nine beautiful names of God and learning them perfectly is one of the keys to Paradise according to a hadith from the Prophet Muhammad:
    "Indeed, Allah has 99 names (one hundred minus one); whoever memorizes them will enter Jannah." (Al-Bukhari)
    Some of the names are: Ar Razzaq (The Ever Providing), Al Sami' (The All Hearing) and Al Ghafur (The All Forgiving). By learning the names and attributes of our Creator, we can better get to know our Lord. Try to learn at least three names a day along with the meaning. By the end of thirty-three days, you will have learned all ninety-nine.


    Obedience and Free Will

    There’s nothing to stop a Muslim from listening to the latest hit song on the radio or turning on the TV to tune into the latest drama or sitcom to come out of Hollywood. That is why humans possess free will. However, as Muslims, we know that most music and most aspects of television are unlawful. The words woven into a song or the images of haram (unlawful) activities played out on TV have a direct effect on the human heart. It is a huge misconception if you believe that engaging in these wasteful activities won’t harm you. Not only will they cause harm, but also they will blacken the heart and cause your faith to wane. By obeying what God has decreed in the Quran and Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad, in every aspect of life, all Muslims can reap the benefits of a faith that is unwavering and never flinches.


    Enhance Your Faith
    Remember that as a new Muslim you should also surround yourself with people who are going to enhance your faith and not harm it. Befriend a good Muslim, of the same gender, in your community or reach out to the Imam at your local mosque for more guidance and advice.

    Source
    Last edited by Signor; 08-16-2013 at 05:09 PM.




  5. #5
    SaifulLah Array Ali Mujahidin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Thailand
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    656
    Threads
    8
    Reputation
    4493
    Rep Power
    25

    Default Re: Tips for the Convert Muslim


    Lots of good ideas there.

    For those reverts who would like to know where or what to start with, I heartily recommend starting with solat. To me, solat is kind of like plugging into the socket to the source of all power and energy in the universe. Think of yourself sort of like some kind of mobile phone. You have a battery but your battery does not run forever. It needs to be recharged and the only way to recharge your battery is to plug into the socket to the source of all power and energy in the universe.

    So perform solat. Don't let your battery run out of power.







    Faith is believing what you cannot see.
    http://areesalaam.com Islam from the viewpoint of a layman

  6. #6
    فصبرٌ جميلٌ Array Dreamin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    @ my desk
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    2,790
    Threads
    80
    Reputation
    23879
    Rep Power
    48

    Default Re: Tips for the Convert Muslim


    Really loved this line.

    In architecture, pillars are used to stabilize a building and give it strength. So too do the five pillars of Islam give a Muslim strength.


    ARABIC MADE EASY



    e-book: $3.99
    Paperback: $19.76
    Hardcover (Collectors): $36.61
    http://www.goodreads.com/KokabRahman

  7. #7
    Limited Member Array loveofgod's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Christianity
    Posts
    46
    Threads
    6
    Reputation
    184
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: Tips for the Convert Muslim


    Quote Originally Posted by Signor View Post
    As a new Muslim, you will have trouble keeping up with prayers every day, fasting during Ramadan, and the many other practices in this religion.
    The 5 daily prayers I reckon will be next to impossible for me to do. My job schedule won't permit it. Neither would I be able to fast because I have a medical condition.

    Sounds like a very difficult path for me to take...

  8. #8
    IB Oldtimer Array Signor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    1,014
    Threads
    79
    Reputation
    7949
    Rep Power
    23

    Default Re: Tips for the Convert Muslim


    Quote Originally Posted by loveofgod View Post
    The 5 daily prayers I reckon will be next to impossible for me to do
    It only takes less than an hour 45-60 minutes to make all five prayers,How on earth we can't take this small time out of our busy schedule to bow before the Creator of this world(For the loveofgod),the one who provided us with everything.Also timings are very flexible.(all the day prayers having long gaps between each other)

    Quote Originally Posted by loveofgod View Post
    Neither would I be able to fast because I have a medical condition.
    This is allowed although you have to offer kaffarah(expiation) for these fasts.




  9. #9
    Limited Member Array loveofgod's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Christianity
    Posts
    46
    Threads
    6
    Reputation
    184
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: Tips for the Convert Muslim


    Quote Originally Posted by Signor View Post
    It only takes less than an hour 45-60 minutes to make all five prayers,How on earth we can't take this small time out of our busy schedule to bow before the Creator of this world(For the loveofgod),the one who provided us with everything.Also timings are very flexible.(all the day prayers having long gaps between each other)



    This is allowed although you have to offer kaffarah(expiation) for these fasts.

    Then I am better off the way I am. No pressures.

  10. #10
    Full Member Array Taabuu's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    440
    Threads
    43
    Reputation
    2949
    Rep Power
    11

    Default Re: Tips for the Convert Muslim



    Great job.
    Very interesting articles. thanking for sharing.

  11. #11
    IB Oldtimer Array Signor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    1,014
    Threads
    79
    Reputation
    7949
    Rep Power
    23

    Default Re: Tips for the Convert Muslim


    Baby Steps in Your Journey to Islam

    When you hear a new Muslim explain what brought him or her to Islam, the words “journey” or “voyage” are often repeated as the story unfolds.

    The reason is because it actually feels like you’ve taken a trip somewhere and arrived at your final destination.

    For myself, my journey to Islam began when I was a 19-year-old college student sitting in my dorm room contemplating the world I had just been thrust into. I had never been exposed to such vices as I witnessed that first week, such as alcoholism. Yet, here I was in a new world filled with young boys and girls engaging in such activities.

    By that first Sunday away from home, I began a determined search to find God. Since my family was never particularly religious, I felt a calling to seek out God as perhaps a means of salvation from the sins being openly committed around me.

    My journey to Islam began by visiting several churches near the campus and each time being dissatisfied with what was being promulgated. It steered me clear of countless harmful encounters and circumstances that could have ended my quest instantly. And it brought me to settle in a Muslim country even though I did not understand the deen, or religion, and I had no plans to convert to Islam.

    A Student of Islam
    The moment someone pronounces the Islamic declaration of faith, or Shahadah, they become Muslim. Most importantly, they become students of Islam and their journey to Islam really begins.

    They cannot simply declare that they are Muslim without practicing the religion. And they cannot fulfill the rites of Islam, which is the total submission to the will of Allah Almighty, without empowering one’s self with Islamic knowledge.

    It’s important to realize that not everyone is at the same level of Islam. Some new Muslims may have studied the Islamic faith extensively before taking the Shahadah. Others may have had only a basic grasp of Islamic knowledge, but took the Shahadah any way since it should never be delayed.

    Regardless of your level of Islam, it’s important to arm yourself with Islamic knowledge at the beginning of your conversion so you can fulfill your Islamic obligations correctly and in a timely fashion.

    After my own conversion to Islam, I struggled for months to acquire Islamic knowledge since there was a lack of English reading materials available in Kuwait. I relied exclusively upon what my husband taught me and it took me quite a long time to learn the religion.

    Seeker of Truth
    Today, there are so many different ways to learn about Islam. One of the fastest and easiest to use is the Internet. When I converted, I was not even “online” until a few years after the inception of the worldwide web. I was busy adapting to a new culture and new roles as a Muslim, wife and mother. I turned to the two best Islamic sources of knowledge, the Holy Quran and Sunnah of Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him).

    I was fortunate that I was finally able to acquire a translation of the Holy Quran and a small book of hadith in English. I spent every spare moment absorbing the words of the Quran and attempting to memorize some of the hadith in Arabic. By the time I began to use the Internet I felt that my Islamic knowledge was rock solid. It wasn’t, and I learned it the hard way.

    I began searching for articles about Islam using Google. I expected all the results to return perfectly halal and correct Islamic knowledge. However, the results I got back were a mixture of halal information, and pure hatred coming from the enemies of Islam.

    As a new Muslim, I was not prepared for the onslaught and was at risk of falling into a deviant sect of Islam because I was not as secure in my Islamic knowledge as I once believed.

    Fortunately, I met a Muslim sister online and she emailed me exhaustively. She was my teacher, mentor and friend. This kind sister taught me how to pray correctly via email and even emailed me scanned pages of the prayer book she used more than twenty years prior when learning to pray.
    As a new Muslim, you must realize that the Internet is both a blessing and a curse. When seeking Islamic knowledge, ask a Muslim friend or even the Imam to verify that your findings are halal and adhere to the Quran and Sunnah. You can even ask for recommendations on which Islamic books or other publications you can read to further enhance your faith.

    Baby Steps
    As a new convert to Islam, you will face a lot of changes both spiritually and physically. One of the most difficult changes may be with your relationships. Since Islam is often portrayed in a negative light in the media, you might find that those nearest to you cut off contact with you entirely. Others may avoid you as if you have contracted a newly discovered disease.

    You might even seek to conceal your Islam from others for fear of what they might think, say or do. But really, what power does any man have in light of Allah’s Might? Embrace your new state of Islam wholeheartedly even if it means losing old relationships. You’ve got countless opportunities to form new relationships with members of the Ummah and ones that are more substantial.

    As a new Muslim I chose not to tell my family about my conversion to Islam for a number of months. I did not really care what they thought about it, but I knew they would have some horrendous things to say about my new religion and I did not want to hear them.

    When I finally did tell my family members, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Their reaction was negative to say the least, as I morphed into the family’s “black sheep” overnight. It felt terrible. But my life as a Muslim sustained me. Interestingly, my faith grew even stronger than I could have imagined and remains unwavering today.

    Keeping the Faith
    It’s very easy to become discouraged. The first year as a Muslim will often be the hardest as you learn as many aspects of the religion as you can. You also will have to deal with your own personal reality in light of your conversion to Islam in the form of changing relationships and how others perceive you.

    There is no need to leap into your newfound faith. Take baby steps and pace yourself as you grow into a full-fledged Muslim. Before you know it, you might grow into a teacher that guides others along their Islamic journey.

    Source
    Last edited by Signor; 12-21-2013 at 04:16 PM.

  12. #12
    IB Oldtimer Array Signor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    1,014
    Threads
    79
    Reputation
    7949
    Rep Power
    23

    Default Re: Tips for the Convert Muslim


    Tips for New Muslims: Seeking Knowledge


    Acquiring knowledge is highly recommended in Islam.

    The Quran reveals the significance of knowledge in many verses, as God says for example:
    {…God will raise those of you who have faith and those who have been given knowledge by degrees. And God is Aware of what you do} (Al-Mujadilah 58: 11)

    Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) speaks of the reward and importance of seeking knowledge in the following words:

    "For him who embarks on the path of seeking knowledge, Allah will ease for him the way to paradise." (Muslim)
    “Seeking knowledge is an obligation upon every Muslim (male and female).” (At-Tirmidhi)
    “The excellence of a scholar over another (ordinary) worshipper is like the excellence of the full moon over the rest of the heavenly bodies.” (Abu Dawud)

    The purpose of gaining knowledge is to perfect your worship and to do what pleases God and leave what angers Him. Knowledge also gets you closer to God. In a recent article, A Well Balanced Life After Conversion, I emphasized that new Muslims should always act with moderation in everything they do. One of the things new Muslims embark on after conversion is gaining knowledge.

    Priorities and Resources
    There is a minimum knowledge that every Muslim should possess. Every Muslim, man or woman, should acquire a degree of knowledge that help him practice his religion properly. Therefore, every Muslim must know the basic rules of how to pray, fast, pay Zakah and perform the pilgrimage. Not every Muslim is required to become a fully trained scholar.

    There are various resources for gaining knowledge. Some new Muslims get their knowledge from reading books, listening to religious tapes, or reading online articles. There is nothing wrong with all these resources. The problem lies on the content offered in these resources. Some sources focus on the detailed issues related to Islam. It is possible to find some sources start with where to put your hand in prayer after saying takbirat al-Ihram (saying Allahu Akbar in the beginning of Prayer). I am not underestimating such issues but I am trying to say that there are priorities. A new Muslim cannot learn everything in one day.

    Knowledge is not limited to Shari`ah-based sciences such as Hadith, Fiqh, Tafsir, etc. Islam teaches that these sciences take priority but other branches are important too. If you are interested in medicine and engineering, please go ahead and study them. Not all students should be Shari`ah scholars. We are in real need of the Muslim physician and the Muslim engineer. By your good manners and professional experience of medicine and engineering, you are presenting a good image of Muslims to people of other belief systems. This is how Islam had a wide geographical spread in different parts of the world.

    Useful Tips for Seeking Knowledge
    You have to be patient. Imam Al-Zuhri says: “Whoever seeks knowledge in one go, it will leave him at one go. Rather, knowledge is only sought through the passing of nights and days.”

    You have to find a good teacher. Try to meet him frequently. Try to ask him as many questions as you can. This teacher may be an individual teacher or a big institution which has a considerable reputation as an educational center. Many new Muslims travel to Egypt to join Al-Azhar University. Many others go to Syria, Yemen or Morocco. Currently, there are also many institutions in the West that offer Islamic Studies by teachers who graduated from famous Islamic institutions like Al-Azhar and Al-Qayrawan Universities.

    After the basics, try to focus on how to develop your spiritualities. Learn how to refine your heart. Read the soft heartening sections in classical books which have been translated into English.

    Learning Arabic will help you perform the prayer correctly. When you learn Arabic, focus on the basics, i.e. busy yourself with learning the Fatihah chapter, another short chapter, how to utter Arabic words and sentences like samia Allahu liman hamidah, etc.

    Learn, step by step, what is permissible and what is not permissible in everyday life.

    Read the biography of the Prophet (peace be upon him) from original sources. The "Sealed Nectar" is a good start.

    Read the stories of the Prophet’s Companions as you will learn how they lived their lives in accordance to the Quran and the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad.

    The mosque is a good soil where the roots of knowledge spread widely. Try to visit a nearby mosque and introduce yourself to the Imam and share with him your problems and queries.

    Do not associate yourself with a certain person, a sect or a group that have strange ideas and ideologies. Follow mainstream Islam and always remember that Islam is easy to practice.

    Adorn Your Knowledge with Actions
    After knowledge comes practice. Do not gain knowledge just for the sake of gaining knowledge, rather acquire knowledge to practice it in your daily life. On the Day of Judgment, everyone will be asked about his knowledge and what he did with it. Imam Ali once said: “The completion of faith is the gaining of knowledge and applying it."

    After gaining considerable knowledge, share this knowledge with others. Start with your family, then your neighbors, then widen the circle to include the community at large. Be a cooperative and an active member in your community and do not be passive.
    Be sure that what knowledge you possess, still there is a lot that you do not know. An early Muslim scholar once said: “Whosoever says ‘I am learned’ is indeed ignorant.”

    Manners of the Knowledge Seeker
    Abdullah ibn Al-Mubarak said: “I spent thirty years learning manners, and I spent twenty years learning knowledge.”

    Sheikh Muhammad Said Raslan summarizes the manners of the knowledge seeker in the following points:

    Purify your intention for Allah in gaining knowledge. Do not have the intention of showing off. Being humble is the key to gaining knowledge.

    Purify yourself inwardly and outwardly from that which contradicts the Shari`ah;

    Completely free your heart for knowledge and remove all obstacles;

    Eat little, be cautious, and constantly remember Allah;

    Eat, sleep, and speak as seldom as possible;

    Reduce socialization and choose the right friends;

    Choose what to start with and who to teach you;

    Have the best manners with your teacher;

    Treat your books well.

    To conclude, this is a Quranic verse in which God commands Prophet Muhammad, and by extension all Muslims, to ask Him to advance his knowledge:
    {And say: My Lord advance my knowledge.} (Ta-ha 20:114)


    May Allah increase us all in useful knowledge and good deeds,Ameen

    Source
    Last edited by Signor; 12-21-2013 at 04:48 PM.

  13. #13
    IB Oldtimer Array Signor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    1,014
    Threads
    79
    Reputation
    7949
    Rep Power
    23

    Default Re: Tips for the Convert Muslim


    Tips for New Muslims :To Overcome Isolation

    One of the biggest issues most new Muslims have to cope with at some point is a feeling of isolation.
    They are in-between worlds; they no longer fit comfortably in the non-Muslim world and they haven’t yet found their place in the Muslim world.

    The process to find a place in the Muslim world that a convert feels comfortable in, can be quite complex; it can take varying lengths of time and is influenced by many different factors.

    These factors include matters such as where they live; their local community; the availability of local support for new Muslims; whether they are married (to a Muslim or non-Muslim); how they came to Islam, their understanding of it and their expectations; and crucially their own personality.

    God brings everyone to Islam on the path that suits them best and He then sends them tests to confirm their faith.So there is no one right way to make the adjustment to the new life as a Muslim, but there are some general suggestions that could help to make the journey smoother.

    Having Realistic Expectations
    It is important that a new Muslim has realistic expectations of the community that they are joining.

    Although Islam is the ideal way of life, Muslims are human beings like everyone else. There are good and bad among them, there are some who try to follow the religion’s teachings to the best of their ability and there are some who are nominal Muslims - as there are also nominal adherents of any other religion - who may take some parts of it and leave others.

    If a new Muslim can approach the community with this understanding, it will help to reduce their disappointment when the community doesn’t meet their idealized expectations.

    One of the strangest things that happens to many new Muslims when they convert is that they suddenly expect all the followers of Islam to follow it to the letter. They think that Muslims are like the Prophet’s companions and should be ready to open their homes and hearts to them, just like the Ansar (the helpers) did for the Muhajirun (the followers) in Madinah. There are a few Muslims in the community who may have the capacity to do that, but most of them are just ordinary human beings doing the best that they can.

    That being said, that’s not an excuse for the Muslim community to sit back comfortably. It really needs to take a good look at itself, especially in terms of the way it regards new Muslims. The classic ways that new Muslims are seen is on one hand that they are viewed with envy, as their past sins have been erased through their conversion, and yet on the other hand they are treated as inferior, because they don’t have the personal history, knowledge of Islam and Arabic, and in some cases the same lineage as those born into Muslim families. They also often seen as tainted by their past lives and culture, and this influences the way new Muslims are related to.

    The community needs to take a good look at the religion they are following and see what lessons it can take in relation to the lessons it gives about welcoming new Muslims from whatever background they come from, and not just on the day they convert. They need to work out ways to include the new Muslims in activities and make them feel welcome, to speak in the common language in their presence - particularly when that is the language of the country they are living in - and to accept that many parts of a new Muslim’s culture may be more Islamic than parts of their own and embrace those elements.

    Joining a Convert Community
    As a new Muslim, you will face many challenges, most of which will have been faced by others who have trodden the same path before you. So try to seek out local new Muslim support groups in your area, so you can meet people, share experiences and ideas and have some social time with others in a similar situation.Many towns now have some type of support group, which may or may not be connected to a mosque. An internet search may reveal where your nearest group is or if you’re in the UK, you could try contacting organizations like Muslim Now or the National New Muslim Project.

    If you don’t find a group that meets regularly near you, keep looking for any other way you can to make some connection, even if it’s by phone or Skype with other new Muslims. Both the groups I mentioned above have activities; i.e. retreats and Eid gatherings where you could meet up with other new Muslims. It may take a while to find a group or people that you feel comfortable with, as others will have taken different journeys to you, be at different stages or even have different understandings of Islam, but keep trying. There will be people similar to you out there somewhere.

    Meeting other new Muslims will be more important in the earlier stages after your conversion, and this will certainly help in your transition into the Muslim world. After that, people go on different journeys; some prefer to remain within a convert community; some assimilate completely into one or other Muslim national community, usually those who marry or emigrate; and others prefer to have links with both. There is no one right way for everybody; as long as the path you choose helps you to be the best Muslim you can take it, the choice is up to you.

    Finding Local Islamic Groups
    It will be up to you, as a new Muslim, to make many of the first steps to seek out different mosques and Islamic groups in your area. It may be confusing at first as you may hear people saying different things and worshipping in different ways from the way you originally learned, but this is just part of the rich diversity in the Muslim community; some of which is permitted by the different schools of thought and some of which is cultural. It may be tempting to wade in there and criticize people - which some new Muslims have been tempted to do in their initial enthusiasm for the deen - but in the early stages, it’s better to keep an open mind and just try to understand the differences.

    It’s also good at this stage to find a teacher or someone whose opinion you feel happy to seek. This may be someone from a new Muslim group, the mosque or the person you talked to when you were first learning about Islam. The differences in the community can be confusing; it would be so much simpler if everyone was the same, but this is the way the community has grown and developed over the years.

    As you too grow and develop in Islam, you will find certain groups more comfortable than others, certain people’s understanding will be more aligned with yours and you will eventually find your own path. And that’s fine, as long as you stay within the fold of Islam and your beliefs and practices are in accordance to the teachings of Islam; there is room for some differences of opinion today, as there was in the early days of Islam.

    Becoming Part of the Mosque Community
    Depending on where you live, going to the local mosque can be a real challenge, especially if you don’t have anyone to go with and aren’t sure how to pray yet; brothers usually find this easier than sisters. You may be faced with people who all seem to know each other, who are all speaking a variety of foreign languages and eye you suspiciously when you first arrive.

    So before you go into the mosque, take a deep breath, think positive thoughts and walk in with a smile; your reception will be very different if you walk in with this frame of mind than if you go in looking nervous and shy.

    Before or after the prayer or Khutbah (Friday sermon), try to find at least one person to talk to, about anything. Initiate a conversation by asking simple open questions, about them, the community or the mosque. This will be easier if they are on their own, as they may also be hoping someone will talk to them too. It may take time to develop relationships with people in the mosque, but if you keep going and keep on engaging people in conversation, insha Allah you will eventually become part of that community. This may seem difficult and it would be easier if the regular people would make the first move, and it will be great if they do, but don’t expect it to happen that way.

    Keeping Good Relations with Non-Muslim Family and Friends
    It is important to try to work out the best way to maintain a good relationship with your non-Muslim family. We have the example of the way the Prophet always treated his uncle with the greatest respect and accepted help from him, even though he refused to accept Islam. We also have examples of Prophet Muhammad trading with non-Muslims and caring for their welfare, especially his neighbors, even when they didn’t show him any respect or kindness. You can never tell whose heart God may open one day and it would be better if you could have been part of that by your example.

    Your non-Muslim family and neighbors have so many rights on you, so it’s important to treat them kindly, as long as they don’t encourage you to do anything that would be against God’s commandments. And there are so many things that you can still do together if there is good will on both sides; you don’t have to forsake everything from your old life once you accept Islam, just make some modifications.

    Coping with Serious Challenges
    Sometimes though, no matter how hard you try, how careful you are or much support you have, you can still come up against serious challenges that you can’t deal with on your own or that your local network can’t or isn’t willing to help you with. Sadly these situations occur so often that are being identified nationally here in the UK, and organizations are being established to help new Muslims in difficulty.

    There are three that I know of in the UK and I’m sure that there are many local initiatives too. The three that I know of are: SOLACE, which offers a support service to revert sisters in difficulty, Nour DV which helps victims of domestic violence and the National Zakat Foundation, which is providing financial support and building shelters for those who have been made homeless. I would be happy to hear of any others that you may know of.


    Source
    Last edited by Signor; 12-21-2013 at 04:50 PM.

  14. #14
    IB Oldtimer Array Signor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    1,014
    Threads
    79
    Reputation
    7949
    Rep Power
    23

    Default Re: Tips for the Convert Muslim



    Congratulations, if you have made it this far in your journey and my prayers that you will remain steadfast as you progress along this path of Islam throughout your life. Long after the chants of Allahu Akbar die down if you had the opportunity to witness your faith at a masjid in front of other Muslims or silently at home with only Allāh and the angels to witness like I did, it is possible that you might see some of what I've seen and experienced. Here are some convert survival tips drawn from my own experience:

    Read Everything
    I came in like most converts wide-eyed, with an open heart, and ready to learn about and accept my chosen faith. I read voraciously about Islam before and after my conversion. I read everything from different translations of the Qurʾān, books giving an overview of Islam, books about īmān (faith), aqeedah (theology), hadith to books on sale in Christian bookstores full of untruths and distortions by “ex-Muslims” to Salman Rushdie's Satanic Verses. As for the latter, I had read Rushdie's book while in high school trying to make sense of the furor around it and rather enjoyed his unique literary style. It was only later, upon re-reading as a Muslim with some basic understanding of the faith that the blasphemous passages became more clear. My advice to anyone, read as much as you can, not only the “approved” books but whatever piques your interest, and you might learn a lot by reading that which others try to tell you to avoid. Always look critically to what is excluded from your masjid's library, bookstore, or curriculum, and you'll learn a lot about what they really believe and often like to present as a universal or “more authentic” expression of Islam.

    Don't Accept Opinions & Views Uncritically
    It took me almost a year or two to cautiously begin navigating the Muslim community through my regular attendance at various mosques in the area including the ones my well-meaning friends never told me about including the smaller offshoot masājid, the Ahmadiyya and shia mosques as well. What an eye-opener to the different expressions and manifestations of Islam. Now, this is not theology class where we scrutinize our own beliefs and the beliefs of others, it's just about being open to learning about our fellow human beings. Don't fall into the trap of demonizing without critical thought and reflection. Learn and if you don't know, just be quiet, don't add fuel to the fire. I seriously doubt that anyone's īmān goes up from attacking others and it most likely will only serve to coarsen your manners and harden your heart. Although, there can be benefit in clarifying issues related to belief.

    I've always been inquisitive by nature, I actually consider this a blessing, the same inquisitiveness that caused me to read my older siblings history textbooks while still in elementary school cover to cover led me to want to find out about the religion of Islam through reading the Qurʾān after 9/11. And it is this same spirit of inquiry, which causes me to ask questions, sometimes even the hard questions, in reflecting upon the situation of our communities today.

    To be honest, even though I didn't entirely lose my inquisitiveness after accepting Islam through my interactions with other Muslims, I subdued that part of me along with my penchant for asking questions especially in classes (is the voice awrah or not?), and my own individuality to fit in with the prevailing mood of the community. Lower your voice sister, lower your voice, don't laugh, brothers are walking by.

    Let me offer a few examples to demonstrate as a means of clarification. At one masjid, I frequented, the doors on the sisters' side were often locked and chained closed from the inside even during times of peak usage. Perhaps the ones in charge had forgotten that women might need to exit the building quickly, safely, and efficiently not to mention that chaining doors from the inside is an illegal and dangerous fire hazard. I attended this masjid for years, and even though from the very beginning, I and just about every sister I spoke to thought this phenomenon was outrageous, no one, including me, said or did anything about it. Had I seen this before my Islam, say at my high school or a church or any community hall, I would have been the first to say something and to keep at it, engaging my peers and those in charge until the chains came off but now within Islam, after carefully observing and adopting the ways of the community around me, like everyone else, despite the internal conflict, I silently turned the other way.

    In school, I tended to always sit in the very front of the classroom, particularly if I liked the subject being taught. If I was going to be a bit of a troublemaker and depending on where my friends were, I might sit in the middle or back of the room. At most of the masājid that I have attended, lectures are often held in the musalla and the male lecturer often speaks from the men's side usually partitioned off from the women's section by a wall, glass, bookshelves, two-way mirror, or a curtain. At times, the speaker would ask if there were any questions from the sisters' side and often there were questions, as sisters would whisper among themselves for clarification and sometimes write on pieces of paper and send it with a young child over the speaker. Occasionally a microphone was passed around but more often the sisters remained silent even if they had questions out of a fear of appearing immodest by raising their voices using the microphone.

    I can't tell you the number of times, a new speaker would come to visit and lecture in our community, and as soon as he opened the floor for questions, he would say that he welcomed and encouraged the invisible sisters behind the partition to participate and ask questions and then there would inevitably be some discussion on the brothers' side about whether a women's voice is awrah or not and thus shouldn't be heard. And every single speaker that I can remember then engaged in a vigorous discussion with the brothers that the voice is not awrah. But by this time, most of the sisters after looking around at each other unable to really see or hear or participate fully in this discussion remained silent, including me, even if we had questions out of that communal pressure that tells women that being silent or being unseen or sitting in the back of the room is more modest. A well known saying mentions that “two types of people will never learn, the one who is too arrogant to ask or accept and the one who is to shy to ask.”

    Early on after my conversion, while attending Islamic lectures, seminars, and classes I would sit in the front continuing my tradition from before my Islam. As I integrated more and more into the community and developed friendships with some sisters, I quickly moved towards the back of the room, not even the middle, the back. Why? Because, we are so often told that inside and outside of ṣalāh the best rows for women are in the back but even better yet a woman should remain in her home. And so often, ironically, it is the sisters most active outside their homes i.e. at school or in the workplace or volunteering that love to say how women should stay in their homes and that this is their optimal sphere. The question which seemingly never arises to these women is then why did and do they continue to pursue education, volunteering, and a career outside of the home? And how does one, especially a convert learn about her religion and acquire Muslim company and influences while staying at home with her non-Muslim family or even if she lives alone? How does she even get groceries? But perhaps they will say, well for necessities and for practicality, you have to look at the context and individual situation, even though just a minute ago they were happily and joyfully trying to beat us over the head with ayat and hadith quoted in isolation.

    Conversion, do you need witnesses?
    No, you don't. I'm not making fatwa here but this is a question I've spent more than 8 years researching, and have asked the people of knowledge that I have access to, and despite an opinion here or there, which will generally say it might be recommended for reasons x,y, or z, it is neither a condition nor precondition for the validity of one's shahadah. I took my shahadah a second time nearly 2 years after my first because some well-meaning sisters wanted to ensure everything was okay. So we went to the masjid and I said it again in front of 5 people (2 brothers behind the curtain and 3 sisters on my side of the partition), at which point the brother said I should begin to learn al-Fatiha, which I mentioned that I had already learned. If a person is ready to take their shahadah, there is no need to delay it. I've heard so many stories where a person was ready to take his or her shahadah on the weekend but was “waiting” until after the following jumu'ah or some other later date to embrace Islam. None of us can be certain when we will die and in an issue as critical as faith, it's better to hasten to enter the fold of Islam.

    Muslim Name?
    What is a Muslim name? How do you define, identify, and categorize it? Is it anything more than the name a Muslim carries? So that a name like Ify Okoye is by default a Muslim name once the said Ify Okoye becomes Muslim? Not so, for so many of our brethren. A Muslim name for a convert should be Arabic, preferably a name shared by a prophet in Arabic or a companion of one of the prophets. So after trying to resist the pressure of those well-meaning but insistent Muslims I encountered that I take on a “Muslim name” one Nigerian brother who rode the same bus route as me finally said I should take the name Zainab as I reminded him of his little sister and so the name stuck. Much easier to integrate into the community with a name like Zainab, which everyone recognizes and can pronounce rather than Ify much less Ifeoma. You'll get more “I didn't know you were a convert” rather than the “Are you Muslim?” comments and looks, which I still get even today. And just as a matter of da‘wah and choosing your battles wisely with your non-Muslim family, I think it would be good to see more converts retaining their given names.

    Resist the urge and pressure to get married 5 minutes after your conversion
    At least wait for 10 minutes. Two things about marriage, if you are still on good terms with your family (and may Allāh reconcile those who are not) tell your family beforehand and try to get them involved in the process and beware of your wali especially if he's not your dad because he may have other than your best interests at heart.

    It's okay to retain the good from your culture and manners
    It's okay to speak in English. Saying shukran is not more holy and does not make you more religious than saying thank you. There is no hadith that says eating biryani for iftar is more rewarding than eating baked chicken and macaroni and cheese. Depending on where you live, converting to Islam is also like converting to desi or Arab or insert whichever culture predominates cuisine and dress. If you are accustomed to arriving on time for events, continue to do so even after your conversion. Islam is a beautiful way of life, which does not ask us to abandon the good from our cultures in order to convert but rather part of the strength of the Islamic tradition comes from its being able to encompass a variety of cultures.

    Enjoin Ties with your Family
    Don't break off ties with your family. The responses to my conversion within my family were diverse from intensely hostile to supportive to somewhat indifferent. It requires much more patience to interact with and display excellent manners to those who are hostile to you especially from your family and close friends as they know how to push all of your buttons. And it requires wisdom, something often lost in that new convert zeal and fervor to implement the religion as much as possible. Don't be afraid to apologize to your family for past behavior even if you think you were right because in the end we seek to call them to our faith and not simply to score brownie points in arguments.

    Get your Salah and other Ibadah on – learn to read Arabic and the Qurʾān
    No one can learn this religion all at once. In the early stages, I recommend that the new convert begin by learning about who Allāh is and Islam through reading the Qurʾān. Translations are good in the beginning but nothing compares to reading and understanding the Qurʾān in the original Arabic language in which it was revealed. Learn about the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam and his companions (may Allāh be pleased with them) and you will come to know and love them. Focus on learning, practicing, and perfecting the fundamentals like purification, ṣalāh, and fasting before going into the finer details of more esoteric debates.

    May Allāh azza wa jal help us to remain sincerely steadfast upon this deen. Āmīn.




  15. #15
    Limited Member Array JordanLA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Location
    England
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    11
    Threads
    4
    Reputation
    361
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: Tips for the Convert Muslim


    JazakAllah for these tips brother!

  16. #16
    hier stehe ich Array glo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    England
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Christianity
    Posts
    8,387
    Threads
    427
    Reputation
    61606
    Rep Power
    90

    Default Re: Tips for the Convert Muslim


    Quote Originally Posted by loveofgod View Post
    The 5 daily prayers I reckon will be next to impossible for me to do. My job schedule won't permit it. Neither would I be able to fast because I have a medical condition.
    I prayed five times a day during Ramadan a couple of years back and found it very beneficial. A very regular reminder of drawing close to God!
    The timings were hard, admittedly.


    Peace
    glo

    Here I stand.
    I can do no other.
    May God help me.
    Amen.

    Come, let us worship and bow down •
    and kneel before the Lord our Maker

    [Psalm 95]


  17. #17
    IB Oldtimer Array Signor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    1,014
    Threads
    79
    Reputation
    7949
    Rep Power
    23

    Default Re: Tips for the Convert Muslim


    When it comes to marriage, reverts face many social stigmas that make it a very daunting dream.Making the dream a reality involves overcoming weaknesses, and improving oneself, all while overcoming cultural norms.It can be a balancing act, and without guidance and direction, it can seem nearly impossible for revert brothers.Most reverts face a lot of pressure to get married. First they have problems with community acceptance as an outsider, no Muslim family to support them, and usually face racism and discrimination for a number of different reasons.

    Some often feel depressed and lonely, as hopelessness enters their hearts, and sometimes they are led to believe that there is no chance to get married to a Muslimah. This sometimes leads some revert brothers to seek out non-Muslims for marriage, or leave Islam altogether out of hopelessness.

    The following ten tips are to make it easier for our brothers to gain hope, and make goals, and achieve them insha-Allah. Doing your best and following these tips will increase your chances of finding your ideal bride to be.

    1. Improve Upon Your Deen – You Must Be Strong
    {…women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity…} (24: 26)

    Revert brothers face a huge stigma when it comes to their knowledge of the deen.

    It is a legitimate concern for parents of a Muslim woman to ensure that their daughter marries a very pious, honest, respectable man. It is the biggest hurdle for a revert brother because if he is weak in his faith, he may resort to his non-Muslim lifestyle, or even worse leave Islam entirely. If a man leaves Islam, his wife would have to divorce, and no one wants to fear the possibility of divorce due to this reason.

    Learn your deen extensively and become a strong pious Muslim before seeking marriage. You must show that you are strong in faith, and adhere to all Islamic teachings to gain the trust of a woman and her family.

    2. Strive to Attain a Good Education and Career to Support a Family
    A major difference between most Western and Muslim societies is that university education is often free; thus making most men having a degree very common. In Western societies, one must spend a fortune usually to attain a university degree.

    As a result, the woman or her family will seek a man with a university education, and if he doesn’t have one, they may seek someone else. They want to ensure that the man can provide a good living to support a family. So, do your best to get some sort of higher education to have a career that can maintain a family life without struggles.

    3. Learn About the Spousal Responsibilities – Be Willing to Accept
    Islam holds both the husband and wife to many roles and responsibilities in an Islamic marriage. Both have rights upon the other. Western cultures tend to not fit this mold, so you must learn about and accept what is expected of you as a husband.

    The feminist movement in the West has reversed many roles in western society. This does not imply that Islamic societies don’t give women rights, but obligations are set forth upon the men to be the sole supporter of the household.

    A husband shouldn’t expect or plan for his wife to also need to work to support the family before getting married. The wife can opt to do this if she chooses, but it shouldn’t be expected. This is an important matter to discuss before getting married. Some women may feel they don’t want to be expected or needed to work, and prefer to be a stay-at-home wife and mother, and if you marry and discover this afterwards, it can put a strain on the marriage. It is very well known that a majority of marriages fall apart due to financial difficulties in both Muslim and non-Muslim societies.

    If you are not in a position to do this, it is recommended to wait until you are stable enough to do so. It will make the start of the marriage go more smoothly.

    4. Start Saving Before Seeking Marriage
    Most Muslim societies have a very strong family support system that is different from western norms. This doesn’t mean that western societies don’t have strong family ties, but there are differences.

    The biggest difference is that in most Muslim societies, the children remain living at home until they marry, even if they are 40 years old. The families support them until they marry. This allows the son to work and save money to put towards purchasing a home, car, and preparing for a dowry (mahr), and a marriage celebration when he gets married. It gives him time to prepare for his future and ability to save a lot of money.
    In western societies, it is all too common for the children to move out of their family home between 18-21 years of age, and must support themselves 100%. This makes it harder for a westerner to save money towards bettering their future. So, it is best advised to get your education, and find a stable job and save some money before seeking to marry to improve your chances of finding a wife and getting acceptance from her family.

    5. Avoid Those Who Seek Division of Nationalities & Cultures
    Sadly, racism and nationalism is still deeply embedded into the minds of people all around the world. You may encounter families that insist their daughters marry a cousin, or a neighbor they grew up with. Many families hold onto their nationalism with an iron fist, and refuse to allow their daughters to marry an outsider. There are also many that favor a lighter skinned person over dark skinned due to cultural stereotypes.
    You can’t change your skin color or your nationality, so there isn’t really much a person can do about this other than educating the ignorant to rid them of this social disease.

    If you find that a woman or her family hold such enmity within themselves on skin color or nationalism, it is best to just avoid them, and say “Alhamdulillah” that you discovered it before getting married. Do you really want in-laws like that anyway?

    6. Prevent Past Sins from Affecting Your Future
    Everyone sins, and before accepting Islam you probably had many sins that you don’t want to be reminded of, or held against you. All your prior sins before accepting Islam were erased, and you were given a new slate because God has forgiven you for them.

    If a woman or her family inquires about your previous lifestyle, you don’t have to give details, and it is better to just avoid it in a nice manner. Simply remind them that God has forgiven you for sins when you accepted Islam, and that Islam has transformed you into a better person. The less information you give, the less they have to hold against you. Don’t give them things from your past to judge you about, because they may think it is just a matter of time before you do those things again. Save yourself the headache. Think about how it can come back to haunt you in the future before you speak.

    If you had sexual encounters in your past, it is recommended to make sure you test yourself for sexually transmitted diseases before searching for a spouse. If you are asked if you are a virgin, and you are not, you can be honest and simply state that you are not a virgin any longer, but don’t go into anything further than that.

    You are not obligated to give specifics. Just remind them as stated earlier that your prior sins have been erased and leave it as that, because if you tell your wife, or her family anything about these encounters, it can put a dark spot on their heart towards you and implant negative thoughts about you into their mind and may increase over time. Reaffirm them that you no longer live that sort of lifestyle and strive to be a good Muslim.

    7. Implement Proper Islamic Behavior at All Times
    To gain respect amongst Muslim, and a future wife, and her family, you must show that you are aware and implement Islamic behavior and manners. Your reputation can either ‘make you or break you’. If you are still holding onto a non-Muslim lifestyle, manners, and behaviors, it can damage your reputation so much that you won’t have anyone to recommend you or accept you.

    Do not get involved in haram relationships with a woman before marrying her, because she will realize that you didn’t follow Islam with her in the beginning and may put fear in her heart that you may not follow Islam in other ways in the future. It will only cause heartache and trust issues in the future.

    You can’t begin seeking the halal by doing haram. God will not put blessings into such relationships. Gain God’s pleasure by seeking marriage in the halal ways to ensure as many blessings as possible.

    Don’t expect to find a woman that models the wife of the Prophet Muhammad if you are not modeling the Prophet yourself. Be the ideal Muslim man to find an ideal Muslim wife.

    8. Learn About Various Cultures & Customs
    Inter-cultural marriage will always have clashes based on their differences. New Muslims often feel they must accept and integrate into their spouse’s culture. Remember that both the husband and wife will expect the other to adapt to their culture.

    The important thing is to avoid learning and implementing anything that is un-Islamic. If you can agree to learn and adapt to the other’s culture, minus the un-Islamic matters, it will make things easier.

    9. Remember to Make Dua’
    Dua’ is the weapon of the believer, and we should make use of this gift that is a mercy upon us. God accepts the dua’s of a sincere believer.

    10. Put Your Trust in Allah & Pray Istikhara
    Istikhara (prayer of guidance) is another special prayer and tool that we must always use when we are seeking guidance from God on all important matters of life.

    You may find a woman that you feel is suitable to marry, but if you pray istikhara, you may be given signs or indicators of things that could possibly destroy the marriage. Zainab even postponed her marriage proposal offered by the Prophet so that she could seek council from God through istikhara first before making a decision. God is the knower of all things, and if we ask Him to show us what we are blinded to, it can save us from a lifetime of misery. Trust in God in all affairs to be guided to goodness.

    Conclusion
    Although the ideal solution would be to snap our fingers, and bring everyone out of their fantasy world, we know we can’t change everyone else, we can only improve and change ourselves. Put your trust in God, and work on yourself, and God will reward you for your efforts with the ideal Muslim bride.


    Rule of thumb: Allah doesn’t change the situation of people until they change themselves.




  18. #18
    Full Member Array hisnameiszzz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Location
    London, UK
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    159
    Threads
    25
    Reputation
    487
    Rep Power
    3

    Default Re: Tips for the Convert Muslim


    Salaams.

    Loads of excellent points.

    For converts I would genuinely suggest staying away from "Muslims by name". Obviously, this is not an easy one to look out for as no one knows who a "Muslims by name is" just like that. Someone I got to know had converted to Islam but was more than happy to eat pork because he had mixed with "Muslims by name" who told him that if you prayed Bismillah first, he could eat and drink anything!

    I would definitely suggest New Muslim Groups or befriending an Imam and asking them any time you have any questions. In my Masjid, mashallah, there are two young Imams who do "surgeries" for new Muslims and their mobile numbers are free for anyone to contact.

    Good luck and all the best to all the new converts.

Closed Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
BACK TO TOP