As-salaamu 'alaykum

I just thought I might tell you a little bit about how I started practising, insha'Allah.

I was born in Bosnia. Both of my parents were communists.
We moved to northern Europe because of the war, when I was only about 4 years old.

My parents didn't really talk to me much about islam, but I knew somethings and what always struck me was how beautiful the salaah was (I was still young when feeling this).
And I knew that there was a Creator and that we should obey him and that we would be judged by Him in the Life Hearafter (this was my fitrah, because noone really taught me this). I even felt that we should submit to that Creator (I didn't know that word existed, but that was my feeling). We should submit/surrender to the will of God, I just knew that deep down in my soul.

But, watching TV and everything I thought that Christianity was what I later on found out islam is. I saw people praying to God and asking Him for things. I didn't understand arabic and I didn't even know that the Qur'an was in arabic, I had no idea what kind of language that was (when i occasionaly heard the Qur'an). So, I assumed that Christianity was what I really believed in (because they told us the stories of the prophets in school and because of what I thought Christianity was). I wanted to belong to a religion whose followers pray to God in a way they understand. But I still felt that the movements in the salaat were special. The prostration was THE ultimate thing. I wanted to do this. I wanted to surrender to God, obeying Him and prostrating to Him. I wanted to praise Him. I didn't find this in Christianity and when I ultimately found out that they believe in the Trinity, well... That was it...

I did feel that Islams belief in God was something I could understand and that it was logical. As I mentioned, watching TV and going to school I got the impression that Christianity was what I believed in, but it all collaped as I found out the truth, so when I learned more about islam it made sense. The only thing I didn't understand was the Qur'an and it's language. I had never even picked up a translation (I was still a kid though).
One thing I couldn't put my finger on was the islamic prayer. There was something very, very magical about the Fajr prayer especially. Waking up early at dawn, washing yourself, praying to God and submitting to Him! Is there anything more beautiful?

So I learned how to pray by myself when I was twelve and did a couple of mistakes and wanted to correct myself, so I surfed the internet looking for info about the salaat. And I came across some info about islam and one thing just dazzled me when I came to know about it. Islam means submission! It MEANS SUBMISSION TO GOD! This, in my opinion, is evidence that islam is the right way of life. This was my fitrah. This was what I believed in.
Also, when I finally picked up a translation of the Qur'an... I can't describe it with words. It's as if all my feeling that I have in my heart, that I can't express were taken out and put on paper. It was unbelievable.

Imagine then how I felt when I came across the verses in the Qur'an that told us to look in our own selves for signs and the hadiths where the Prophet salallahu 'alayhi wa sallam informs us of the fitrah.

The reason why I feel islam is the right way is because of the fact that every aspect of it totally agrees with the fitrah.

This was just my little story that I wanted to share. Maybe it was gobbledygoo as I just wrote of the top of my head, but I think the point comes across, insha'Allah. =)

That was a beautiful story br. Abu Zakariyah . I would say that you have probaby come to discover Islam in the same way that Muslim converts/reverts do, mash'Allah.

Alahmdulillah very nice story brother. Mashallah judging by your posts you seem to subhanallah be a very knowledgable brother who has studied the deen, may Allah (SWT) make you steadfast upon the straight path, increase you in knowledge and make you an inheritor of Al Jannah Al Firdus, Ameen.

Ansar al-'Adl

Yeah, because my parents never really taught me anything about islam.
I even thought that the Qur'an wasn't in a real language, rather they just said something that only God understood. That's why I, for a while, felt closer to Christianity because I saw muslims reciting something I didn't understand and thought they also didn't understand, and I also saw christians praying and they let us watch movies about the prophets in school (I didn't even know that muslims believed in these prophets).

But as the Prophet salallahu 'alayhi wa sallam said, it's the parents that trn someone into a christian, jew etc. and my parents didn't teach me anything really, so my fitrah could stay intact alhamdulillah.

And now I read all of these du'aas in the Sunnah and, as I mentioned, I can't even describe what a feeling I get when reading the Qur'an. It's like being reunited with ones family after a long stay in prison or something =)

Khattab

Ameen wa iyaak :love:

there are many muslim parents that aren't much involved in islam.

It's true. Many parents also fail to distinguish between culture and Islam

This was a great story that I read recently I would recommend for everyone to read it.

How Abu Muhammad Abdullah Bin Abdullah (Al-Tarjuman)
The Majorcan became a Muslim
By: Abul-Farag Ibn Ahmad

a)An ex-priest, Anselm Tormeeda.
b)The greatest Christian scholar (during) the 14th century.
c)The author of "The Gift to the Intelligent for Refuting the Arguments of the Christians".

While the Christians were expending all their efforts in disseminating distorted Christianity all over Andalusia after the evacuation of the Muslims, Allah, the Almighty, opened the heart of one of its great scholars to Islam. He submitted sincerely to Allah, and stood upright in obedience to Him and struggled with his hand, tongue and pen in His way.

This man was Sheikh Abu Muhammad Abdullah bin Abdullah Al-Tarjuman, the Majorcan, who was once a priest called Anselm Tormeeda. He was known as Al-Tarjuman (The Translator), because in less than five months after embracing Islam, the Sultan appointed him general of the Marine Administration where he learned the Arabic language and became a skillful translator in discussions between Muslims and Christians. After only one year, he excelled in the Arabic language and was appointed as the head of Translation Affairs.

He was famous among the common people with some nicknames; the most popular was Sidi Tohfah, which means "My Master Gift", referring to his famous book "The Gift To The Intelligent For Refuting The Arguments Of The Christians.

The book was a powerful blow to the structure of Christian belief because it was written by one of the greatest scholars of Christianity in those days, as admitted by Christians themselves. He began his book by mentioning the story of his guidance to Islam; how Allah freed his heart from the slavery of idolatry and polytheism, and how He opened his heart to Islam and filled it with His Light.

What follows is a summary extracted from his story as related in his own words:


Let it be known to you all, May Allah bless you, that my origin is from the city of Majorca -May Allah return it to Islam- which is a great city on the sea, between two mountains and divided by a small valley. It is a commercial city, with two wonderful harbours. Big merchant ships come and anchor in the harbour with different goods. The city is on the Island which has the same name - Majorca, and most of its land is populated with fig and olive trees.

My father was one of the respected men in the city. I was his only son. When I was six, he sent me to a priest who taught me to read the Gospel. I memorised more than half of it in a period of two years. Then I began to learn the language of the Gospel and logic, which I finished in six years.

After that, I left Majorca and travelled to the city of Larda, in the region of Castellion , which was the center of learning for Christians, in that region. A thousand to a thousand and a half Christian students gathered there. All were under the administration of the priest who taught them. I studied physical sciences and astronomy for six years. Then I studied the Gospel and its language for another four years.


After that, I left for Bologna in the region of Anbardia. Bologna is a large city, it being the center of learning for all the people of that region. Every year, more than two thousand students gather together from different places. They cover themselves with rough cloth which they call "The Hue of God". All of them, whether the son of a ruler, or the son of a workman, wear this wrap, in order to make the students distinct from others. Only the priest who teaches them controls and directs them.

I lived in the church with an aged priest. He was greatly respected by the people because of his knowledge, religiousness and asceticism, which distinguished him from the other Christian priests. Questions and requests for advice came to him from everywhere, from Kings and Rulers, along with presents and gifts. They hoped that he would accept their presents and grant them his blessings.

This priest taught me the principles of Christianity and its rulings. I became very close to him by serving and assisting him with his duties until I became one of his most trusted assistants, so that he trusted me with the keys of his domicile in the church and of his food and drink stores. He kept for himself only the key of a small room where he used to sleep. I think, and Allah knows best, that he kept his treasure chest in there.

I was a student and servant for a period of ten years. Then he fell ill and failed to attend the meetings of his fellow priests. During his absence the priests discussed some religious matters, till they came to what was said by The Almighty Allah through His Prophet Jesus in the Gospel:
"After him will come a Prophet called Paraclete"

They argued a great deal about this Prophet and as to who he was among the prophets. Everyone gave his opinion according to his knowledge and understanding; and they ended without achieving any benefit in that issue.

I went to my priest, and as usual he asked about what was discussed in the meeting that day. I mentioned to him the different opinions of the priests about the name Paraclete, and how they finished the meeting without clarifying its meaning.

He asked me: "What was your answer ?" I gave him my opinion, which was taken from my interpretation of a well-known exegesis. He said that I was nearly correct like some priests, and the other priests were wrong. "But the truth is different from all of that. This is because the interpretation of that noble name is known only to a small number of well versed scholars. And we possess only a little knowledge."

I fell down and kissed his feet, saying: "Sir, you know that I travelled and came to you from a distant country, I have served you now for more than ten years; and have attained knowledge beyond estimation, so please favour me and tell me the truth about this name."

The priest then wept and said: "My Son, By God, you are very much dear to me for serving me and devoting yourself to my care. Know the truth about this name, and there is a great benefit, but there is also a great danger. And I fear that when you know this truth, and the Christians discover that, you will be killed immediately."

I said: "By God, By the Gospel and He who was sent with it, I shall never speak any word about what you will tell me, I shall keep it as a secret in my heart."

He said: "My son, when you came here from your country, I asked you if is it near to the Muslim's. And whether they made raids against you, or you made raids against them. This was to test your hatred for Islam. Know, my son, that Paraclete is the name of their Prophet, Muhammad." to whom was revealed the fourth book as mentioned by Daniel. His way is the clear way which is mentioned in the Gospel. I said: "Then sir, what do you say about the religion of these Christians?" He said: "My son, if these Christians remained on the original religion of Jesus, then they would have been on God's true religion; because the religion of Jesus and all the other prophets is the true religion of God. But they changed it and became unbelievers."

I asked him: "Then, sir, what is the salvation from this?" He said: "Oh my son, embracing Islam."

I asked him: "Will the one who embraces Islam be saved?"

He answered: "Yes, in this world and the Hereafter." I said: "The prudent chooses for himself; if you know, sir, the merit of Islam, then what keeps you from it?"

He answered: "My son, The Almighty Allah did not expose me to the truth of Islam and the prophet of Islam until after I have become old and my body weakened. Yes, there is no excuse for us in this, on the contrary, the proof of Allah has been established against us. If God had guided me to this when I was your age I would have left everything and adopted the religion of truth. Love of this world is the essence of every sin, and look how I am esteemed, glorified, and honoured by the Christians, and how I am living in affluence and comfort! In my case, if I show a slight inclination towards Islam they would kill me immediately. Suppose that I was saved from them and succeeded in escaping to the Muslims they would say, do not count your Islam as a favour upon us, rather you have benefited yourself only by entering the religion of truth, the religion that will save you from the punishment of Allah! So I would live among them as a poor old man of more than ninety years, without knowing their language, and they would not know my real status and I would die among them starving. I am, and all praise is due to Allah on the religion of Christ and on that which he came with, and Allah knows that from me.

So I asked him: "Do you advise me to go to the country of the Muslims and adopt their religion?" He said to me: "If you are wise and hope to save yourself, then race to that which will achieve this life and the hereafter. But my son, none is present with us concerning this matter, it is between you and me only. Exert yourself and keep it a secret. If it is disclosed and the people know about it they will kill you immediately. I will be of no benefit to you against them. Neither will it be of any use to you if you tell them what you heard from me concerning Islam, or that I encouraged you to be a Muslim, for I shall deny it. They will trust my testimony against you but will not trust yours against me. So, do not tell a word, whatever happens." I promised him not to do so. He was satisfied and content with my promise.

I began to prepare for my journey and bid him farewell. He prayed for me and gave me fifty golden dinars. Then I took a ship to my city Majorca where I stayed with my parents for six months. Then I traveled to Sicily and remained there five months, waiting for a ship bound for the land of the Muslims.

Finally a ship arrived bound for Tunis. We departed before sunset and reached the port of Tunis at noon on the second day. When I got off the ship, Christian scholars who heard of my arrival came to greet me and welcome me to their dwelling place. Some local merchants also offered their hospitality to me and I stayed with them for four months in ease and comfort.

After that I asked them if there was in the Sultan's (Ruler) Palace a translator. The Sultan in those days was Abu Al-Abbas Ahmad. They said there was a virtuous man, the Sultan's Physician, who was one of his closest advisors. His name was Yusuf Al-Tabeeb ((Joseph the doctor). I was greatly pleased to hear this, and asked where he lived. They took me there and I met him separately. I told him about my story and the reason of my coming there; which was to embrace Islam. He was immensely pleased because this matter would be completed by his help. We rode to the Sultan's Palace. He met the Sultan and told him about my story and asked his permission for me to meet him. The Sultan accepted, and I presented myself before him.

The first question the Sultan asked was about my age. I told him that I was thirty-five years old. He then asked about my learning and the sciences which I had studied. After I told him he said, "Your arrival is the arrival of goodness. Be a Muslim with Allah's blessings." I then said to the doctor, "Tell the honourable Sultan that it always happens that when anyone changes his religion his people defame him and speak evil of him. So, I wish if he kindly sends to bring the Christian priests and merchants of this city to ask them about me and hear what they have to say. Then by Allah's will, I shall accept Islam."

He said to me through the translator, "You have asked what Abdullah Bin Salaam asked from the Prophet when he-Abdullah-came to announce his Islam . He then sent for the priests and some Christian merchants and let me sit in an adjoining room unseen by them. When they came he asked them, "What do you say about this new priest who just arrived by ship?"

They said: "He is a great scholar in our religion. Our bishops say he is the most learned and no one is superior to him in our religious knowledge." After hearing what the Christian said, the Sultan sent for me, and presented myself before them. I declared the two testimonies that there is (no one worthy of Worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His Messenger), and when the Christians heard this they "crossed" themselves and said: "Nothing incited him to do that except his desire to marry, as priests in our religion can not marry" . Then they left him in distress and grief. The Sultan appointed for me a quarter of a dinar everyday from the treasury and let me marry the daughter of Al-Hajj Muhammad Al-Saffar.

When I decided to consummate the marriage, he gave me a hundred golden dinars and an excellent suit of clothes. I then consummated the marriage and Allah blessed me with a child to whom I gave the name Muhammad as a blessing from the name of our Prophet.


Thus we come to the end of the story of Al-Sheikh Abdullah Al-Tarjuman who mentioned after that in his book some events of the Hafsah State in which he served as the chief translator. He followed that with nine chapters; among them: a chapter on the truth about the writers of the four Gospels (Matthew, Marks, Luke, and John), whom he proved were not among the disciples of Christ. He also discussed other topics like Baptism, Trinity, Original Sin, The Lord's Supper, The Indulgence, The law of faith… etc. and refuted them all with the texts from the Gospels and logical proofs.

He proved also the human nature of Christ and disproved his Divine nature. He then exposed the contradictions in the interpolated texts of the Bible.

Lastly he discussed what the Christians criticise the Muslims about, like marriage of the religious scholars and the pious men, circumcision and physical enjoyment in Paradise. He concluded his book by proving the truth of the Prophethood of Muhammad with texts from the Bible.

Assalamu alaikum

threads merged

LOL, Sis.

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My story:

My name is A'ishah but I was born with the name Bonnie Khadija. When I was 2 years old, my non-practicing Moroccan Muslim father, and my American Christian mother got a divorce and my mom tricked my father into her getting custody of me and took me away.

A few years later my dad began practicing and married his cousin, a woman named Nadia, who then became my stepmother. Nadia treated me better than my own mother, and looked at me as her real daughter. Even when she had my sister, Fatima, she thought of us as equally her children and became like a second mother to me.

As I got older, I went to see my dad for a few weeks every year but never really let his lifestyle sink in. My mom was very liberal and encouraged me to do things that I shouldn't have, to have fun and drink and date and dress scantily and so on and so forth. She put me on a lot of medicine and I began to get very depressed. At 12 I converted to Islam. I really did believe in it and I was hoping I would be able to stay and live with my father. My mother had other plans and threatened to have my grandmother and stepmother deported if I didn't come back so I returned and lost my religion. At 13- 14 I went and stayed with my dad for about 2 months. When I came back, I wore hijab and prayed and my mom promised to let me wear it.
The promise was short lived and she told me to take it off a few days after I was home. I said no, she hit me.
She wouldn't let me go out of the house with it on.
I didn't like all the yelling and fighting and I was still a pretty weak person when it came to my mom so I took off my scarf. After some time, I started wearing it by taking it to school with me and putting it on but I knew it wouldn't work because then at night I would have to go without it.

Eventually I took it off and succeeded to my mother's wishes. I started drinking and doing drugs, and smoking. I made some bad friends. I was extremely unhappy and was cutting myself and attempting suicide. She was trying to get me to date someone.

I didn't believe in it but developed a plan to get her to leave me alone. The person she wanted me to date was a bad person who I really didn't like too much, even as a friend. I told her we were dating and made sure to leave my journals and blogs open around her with entries about how we did drugs and how he hit me (which he did) and so on and so forth.

She seemed pretty unconcerned.

I regret to admit that I used someone to get back at my mom and that said person was unaware of them being used.

Eventually after several attempts at taking my life, I was put into a teenage dual diagnosis unit. I stayed their for several months and began to get better without the bad influences on my life. My mom would visit me everyday and bring me dinner, and I loved her, I still do, but I think the distance helped.

I did stay in touch with two people during my stay, two friends who had always been good and had always tried to help me and keep me from doing the bad stuff I was doing. Unfortunately, somehow the person who I mentioned earlier called and notified me that throughout our entire relationship ( as he did think there actually was one ) he was seeing another girl. My ego was bruised as I was expecting to be the manipulative one and the game was reversed but it didn't matter in the sense that he expected it to. Apparently I wasn't fast enough for someone so into drugs and alcohol.

I always found this funny as the person was completely aware that I was Muslim and thought he was complete pond scum and disliked to be within a 1/4 of a mile of him and didn't even believe in dating or anything that accompanied it.

My mother decided I had been abusive to her. We had gotten in to physical fights before, but I always was just defending myself. For example: Once. she dragged me down the stairs by my hair, pushed me over the side into the bathub, closed the sliding glass door, and turned on the cold water. I started to throw up and she replied that anyone could make themself throw up. During this struggle I was grabbing at her and I had very long nails and she was scratched by me. She called the entire family and told them about how I attacked her.

Another incident took place in a fight where she was punching me in the face whilst she was holding her car key, she had my hands so I couldn't grab hers...instead I did what I could do and bit her.

Again, the entire family was alerted to my attacking her.

She drove me to a medical hospital where they threatened to restrain me if I refused to remove my clothes and be searched and change into a gown.

I complied and they took me back to the unit for one night.

Because they had no reason to keep me there I was released the next day.

Anyway. Because she had decided that I was abusive she didn't want to take me back and was looking on information for group homes. I called my father and asked him to take me in and he said he would talk to my mom.

Eventually she did take me out and my father and stepmom came to visit me. I cried for a long time when they left and said I wanted to go with them but my mom said I couldn't be trusted yet.

2 months later after completing a partial program I packed my things and moved to Florida to live with my father.

I was soon informed that my mother had given my father all the information for my blogs and he read them and 'knew everything'.

Imagine my surprise that the tables had been reversed at I had been beaten at my own game. My plan had backfired and all those entries made simply for my mom's viewing pleasure was now thought of as reality by my strict Muslim dad.

At first, things were rocky, my dad and I fought constantly and three times, I was set to go back to my mom where I would be put into a house for troubled girls. The Imam at our masjid who was a close friend of my dad told him if he sent me back that I would lose my Islam forever. He made an honest plea for my staying and after a talk with my stepmother, I went to my dad and apologized and asked him to let me stay. I was able to.

Now, I am 15 and I have been here about four months and have greatly improved. My mother had me on about 10 kinds of different medication, now I am only on one medication which I may be off of in December.

A few things happened to help me get better.

- When I was removed from my medicine.
- I had a very weird experience. I had night terrors and would take medicine for them but ran out. During my sleep I would cry, scream, and kick around. I would wake up with injuries I didn't have before. I didn't have good dreams, only bad. And they were continuous, like a chain. When it got very bad I went to sleep in my grandmother's room. It was a weird experience to be awake during my attacks. I screamed, I couldn't breathe, I would thrash around and scratch my face, and pull my hair, I tried to get up but I couldn't.
My dad, stepmother, and grandmother held me down and recited Surah Baqarah, Ayat-Al Kursi, and aouthu bilahi minashaytani rragim.

They made dua for me. After a few nights of this there came one that was especially bad, my father helped hold me down and they all recited Qur'an for a long time. After that incident, I never had problems again with that.

I started behaving, I am homeschooled and have straight As.
I am learning how to cook and started helping to clean.
I am having an Aqeeqah after ramadan I'A.

I am getting a legal name change to A'ishah, after the Prophet's saws wife because I have always admired and identified with her. And also because A'ishah means Life, which I think is the perfect name for me after what I went through.

I go to the masjid with my dad and help him with religious stuff, and my father, stepmother, and I have become close.

When he does things or goes out, he brings me to help him, and on his days off takes me to do things, like get a go to the bookstore, read and get a cup of coffee at the cafe. Have lunch together at Panera. Go shopping.

Now, I am learning the necessary things for a Moroccan woman to know and my dad and stepmom are going to help me find a husband so I can marry young.

I still talk to my mom but we aren't as close as we once were. She has pretty much washed her hands of me and I, I have moved on.

I thank Allah everyday that I am better and that I managed not to lose myself completely and do something I would have really regretted now.

Subhan'Allah Subhan'Allah.

Alhamdulilah.

Wow, Masha Allah, good on you sis...

My reversion to the true path - Salah ud Deen

Growing up I really didn't have a whole lot of religion, but I was from a Catholic family. I can remember going to church every now and then, usually on Christmas Eve and maybe a few other special occasions. For my teenage years and my earlier twenties I was really turned-off and even had a strong dislike and even a hatred of religion at the time. I had felt that it was a method of controlling people and manipulating them. I had also had one to many run-ins with Bible thumpers. I'm sure they probably meant well but all they accomplished was my aversion to religion, most specifically Christianity. I really didn't like the methods that they used. I think if they would not have been so overbearing they might have had more success.

The beginning of my interest in religion started when I was twenty-three years old. I had been out of the Navy for a few months and was living in Washington State at my friend’s house. When I found out that the Jeep I had bought from a shipmate was stolen which I returned to the proper owner. Not having the proper transportation to stay in Washington I decided to move to Northern California to live with my Mom. When I left I had only a few boxes of things in a big Ryder truck with bald tires and a bad right-side mirror. Driving down I had decided to take a "short-cut" through Humboldt county so that I could get home quicker. I ended up going up a mountain with tons of snow already on the ground and plenty more coming down at a steady pace. Instead of going slow once I got over the peak of the mountain I kept going about 10-15mph. As I made my way down the mountain, I started to slide and ended up slamming into the side of the mountain, bending the front axle and the left-front rim. I didn't stay there long because I figured with as much snow was on the ground I could continue driving and the front of the truck would just slide along. This worked for about five to ten minutes before I ended up spinning out and ended up facing backwards. Now I really thought I was just stuck and I was going to have to wait for someone to show up and help me out. Instead of waiting I got back into the truck and started driving backwards with the door kicked open so I could see. This time I ended up almost going over the side of the mountain with the only thing stopping me was the snow which had been plowed up earlier that day. Now I was really stuck. There was no way I was going anywhere. I didn't want to sit in the truck because I feared it would fall over the side and, well, I just didn't want to be in it if it went over the side. So I waited and waited freezing and cold. After what seemed like a few hours, with ice in my hair and cold water running down my head I called out to God(swt). I said something like "God (swt), I know that I have been a pretty crappy person and that I have disobeyed you and even hated and spited you. I ask that if you are out there then help me. Help me out of this situation and I will obey you and follow you. I will change myself." After that I just started waiting again. In what seemed like an hour I looked behind me and I thought that I saw light coming up the mountain and sure enough it was, it was an SUV. I have never been so happy to see a gas-guzzling, environment polluting SUV ever before or since. They called a tow-truck for me and all I had to do was wait for it to arrive. While I sat there I thought about God (swt) and the fact that he had answered me when I really needed him. I was happy. When Larry (tow guy, I still remember him vividly) showed up he had to brace his truck because there was so much snow on the ground. After we started heading into town I was talking to him a little and said something like "someone was watching out for me tonight." He agreed and said something in the manner that I should be dead. When I checked into my hotel upon arriving into town I picked up some Christian pamphlets that they had in the office, went to my room and fell asleep.

When I got to my Moms I read the pamphlets and got on the web and went to AudioBible.com. Why did I go here, well I had always found the Bible difficult to read so I figured that I would listen to it. I only listened to it for maybe ten minutes and then never again. I did stick to praying before I went to bed for about a week. Then my religious revival stopped, and I continued in my old ways.

September 11th. Killer Muslims had just come across to the sea to attack the United States because they hate freedom and goodness. They attacked the US for no reason whatsoever. President Bush declared a Crusade against all who where not on our side. September 11th was a major turning point for me. A new hatred that I had never felt towards Muslims before rose up inside me, I wanted to join back up with the Navy so I could help make the Middle-East a giant piece of glass. I really didn't have any concrete information about Muslims or Arabs except that they where behind an attack on my country. This event sparked a new desire in me for religion and I wanted to try to read the Bible again. One of the waitresses at the restaurant that I worked at was given some Bible's by one of the customers that had come in. I got one from her so I could read it at home. I started reading Genesis for a few minutes and then set it down.

Religion and I didn't seem to go together very well. I just couldn't get into reading the Bible which I felt was the most important thing to do if you where going to belong to any religion. Then something started to change. I started getting really big into politics. I was reading a lot of articles online that started to make me think. I found out that Bush was destroying the environment. I found out about the Patriot Act and how with its passage, the US Constitution and Bill of Rights ceased to exist. But the big kicker was what I learned about US foreign policy. Dead bishops and nuns in South America, 500,000 children under the age of five killed by sanctions, Muslims and Christian Palestinians being killed and oppressed with US financing and US supplied weapons and on and on and on. While this may not seem connected to religion in an outward manner, it was the study of politics that made me realize that all was not as it appeared to be. I had been fooled and been a fool. I had been a bigot on false assumptions and because I had no morality. This was when I decided to look into Islam. I wanted to know for myself if it was really true what the media and Jerry Falwell said about Islam. Was Islam a religion that promotes violence towards innocent people? What were their beliefs about God (swt), morality, combat and women? I wanted to know for myself and make my own decision about Islam. So I turned off my TV and started reading.

I started my research on Islam by going to Islamic websites and reading about Islam. What was the basic beliefs, what did they do on a daily basis. I read some articles here and there. I downloaded a Qur'an from downloads.net and started to read it. One of the first things that I noticed was that it held my interest and made sense to me. I was having no problem reading the Qur'an. The entire book really impressed me. Here was a blueprint on how to live my life in a good manner, in the best manner. To gain knowledge for the sole purpose of pleasing Allah (swt) was the greatest form of worship. To save a life is as if you saved all of humanity and to take an innocent life was as if you had killed the world. There is no compulsion in religion. We where made different so we would know one another, not hate each other. Christians and Jews are people of the book (earlier revelation). And on and on. The scientific proofs in the Qur'an also had a profound effect on me. The detailed description of how the fetus forms in the womb, which we as humans have only come to understand in the 20th century. I was completely floored. I realized that this was verbatim the word of Allah(swt) and that he was speaking to me, telling me "this is why I want you to be a moral person and this is why you should not do this..." During the months of November and December I continued my reading and research. I knew that I believed in Islam, but with all the hatred for Islam it made it really hard for me. I had the view that Islam was an Arab religion. Also Muslims where the bad guys now, no longer the Soviet communists. I really felt hesitant. Then on January 11th, 2002, I read on one website a question that said "So your thinking about embracing Islam but..." I read the answer to this question and I knew then that Islam was for me. I believed in Islam. The thing that had been holding me back was indecisiveness. So I made my declaration of faith: I declare there is no god but Allah (swt) and Muhammed (saw) is the messenger of Allah (swt). After this I taught my how to pray with a computer program that I had downloaded on the net. I continued to read about Islam and to learn and grow. I began to change. My relationship with my mother improved at a huge pace. I even eventually started to read the Bible so I could have an understanding of it. For about three months I had been practicing in secret. Then I finally worked up my courage to tell my mother. When I told her, her reaction was "oh Salah ud Deen." Needless to say this didn't make me feel very good. But I marched on and as time has gone by I have gotten more and more acceptance with my family on my being a Muslim. My friends on the other hand were all very accepting. They where true friends. I have come to love Islam more than anything that is in this world, I just hope I can live to at least some of the high standards of conduct and being that Islam demands. Insha'Allah (God willing) I will be able to do so.

Mashaa'Allah Br. Salah ud Deen! I didn't know you were a revert! May Allah reward you, and I hope you will continue to inspire others on this forum.

And May Allah bless you too, Sr. A'isha ( marrakeshfresh) for your beautiful story as well! :brother: