4:17 God accept the repentance of those who do evil in ignorance and repent soon afterwards; to them will God turn in mercy: For God is full of knowledge and wisdom.

4:18 Of no effect is the repentance of those who continue to do evil, until death faces one of them, and he says, "Now have I repented indeed;" nor of those who die rejecting Faith: for them have We prepared a punishment most grievous.

Salam Alaikum:

I just thought I would share my story with you. There is nothing special about it, but it might let someone else know another person has shared their thoughts or ideas, inshallah.

Like many in the west, I was raised a Catholic Christian. I came from a fairly strong religious background, grew up loving my church and participating in Sunday School and the church choir. As a young girl growing up in the Catholic Church I had a lot of questions that could never seem to be answered regardless of who I asked, but I continued to believe because that's what I was told to do. "Just have faith" seemed to be the answer of the day.

Things like original sin, the tri-union and blood atonement were a complete mystery for me and yet the very basis of my faith necessitated the following of this doctrine. To add insult to injury God said, "I am not the author of confusion." And yet, as I grew older, I was more confused than ever.

I always loved and believed in God and never questioned His existence, but I began to reject the ideas taught in Christianity as I felt these were man-made and self-fulfilling. I continued on with life happy and content with my love and belief in God without following organized religion.

The day came when the world was flooded with news stories of 9/11 and I, like most, was glued to the television for days watching the events unfold. All I remember hearing about the attack was Islam and Muslims. I had pre-conceived ideas about Islam and Muslims and they weren't good, but still I couldn't imagine any large religion like Islam, Judaism or Christianity, condoning this behavior.

As I had suspected, within 5 minutes of searching I realized Islam does not condone the killing of innocents and I continued my research. The more I read the more I realized that the teachings of Islam is what I had believed all along and now I wanted to know more from the followers of Islam. That brought me to MSN Chat and the Islam room. I met so many wonderful people there and to this day they have remained my friends. They spent countless hours teaching me and I spent countless hours trying to defend the faith I grew up with and wanting to show them I could not have been wrong all these years.

I struggled, and often cried, at the thought that all I learned and practiced was wrong. I was angry, frustrated and confused. But, after three years of learning I finally accepted the fact that the teachings of Islam is what I had always believed and it wasn't so far from what I was taught. I finally realized I had found the truth and it was time to embrace it and let go of any fears. I remember one fear was, "What if I?m wrong?" Well, I can't be wrong. I only want to be closer to God and to worship only Him. That can never be wrong and that is exactly what Islam teaches.

Alhamdulillah, I reverted in February, 2004, and I am still learning the basics and will continue to learn every day, Inshallah. Being the only Muslimah in my area, there are times I struggle and stumble, but I know I have the love and support of my Muslim brothers and sisters to help me. That is one of the beauties of Islam. You gain a large instant family of brothers and sisters within the folds of Islam. Regardless of race or color you are welcomed with open arms by Muslims all over the world. Alhamdulillah!

May Allah, swt, continue to guide us all to the truth. Ameen
Hana
:sister:

Ameen!!!!May Allah keep us all on the straight path...may many more people see the beayty of deen inshallah!!!!Ameen....

Asalaamu Alaikum everyone,

Wow, this thread has 7 pages. Hope someone actually reads this. I actually wrote it a while ago.


I am still relatively new to Islam, so forgive me If I sound naiive or inexperienced regarding the subject. Writing this has helped me come to terms with the changes in my life. It is the story of my stumbling in the dark before I discovered the true light of Islam. Read on if interested.
I was born May 26th, 1985 in a small, culturally homogenous town in Upstate NY. Growing up I was the shy little blonde-haired blue-eyed girl that everyone adored. I always got what I wanted. My parents loved me. I was surrounded by friends. I was happy. I guess you could say I had the perfect American life. However, around the end of 8th grade, the storm clouds started rolling in.
Then came the rain. Slowly at first, then in a downpour. I became increasingly depressed, withdrawn, and plagued by extreme anxiety. I was losing my friends, gaining weight, and constantly fighting with my parents. No longer did i wish to leave the house, or talk to anyone, as these problems intensified my already high tendencies toward shyness.. All these things going wrong made me hate myself, with a passion.
"Why is this happening to me?" Screamed a thunderous voice in my head. "I'm supposed to be having the perfect life, just like everyone else! I should be out shopping in a mall surrounded by friends in a belly shirt and low-rise designer jeans! But instead im just sitting on my ass in my room, getting fatter and fatter and hating myself. What the heck is wrong with me?!"
It came to the point that I did not want to live anymore. So why not just take my own life? This life is worthless anyway. Sadly, this logic made perfect sense at the time. However, I was lucky enough to have people around me who were concerned enough to get me help. I was involuntarily committed to 4 different psychiatric hostpitals over a period of two years. I was on 6 different medications. Anti-psychotics, anti-depressants, you name it, I probably took it. However, with what little strength and hope I had left, I made one last desperate attempt to heal myself.
Unable to find comfort in anything during this dark hour, I felt that the only solice I could find was in God. "Hey, maybe this is the chance for Him to prove to ME that He does exsist! I thought with new found excitement. "Maybe he can cure me!" I intended to find him, but unfortunately, being the naive teenager I was, I made the costly mistake of assuming that " finding God" and "finding the church" were the same thing.
I came from a family that was Catholic (I myself was originally baptized Roman Catholic) but had stopped going to church. I'm not exactly sure why. As a result, none of us kids grew up with even a basic understanding of who exactly God was. Nonetheless, my father was happy to take me to worship at St. Marys church, a rather square looking building a few blocks away from my house.
Now, I don't really think its right to launch into a rant on Catholicism and Christianity in general, so let me sum up those three months of spending Sundays in church. They didnt help me one bit. I didn't feel any closer to God. I didn't understand or agree with a lot of the church doctrine, and ended up very confused about God and religion.
"Why has God done such horrible things to me?" I wondered, disallusioned and perplexed. "I have always been a good person, and I come from a good family. Numerous people have told me that I am talented and smart. So WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?!" Still in the grips of severe clinical depression, I was faced with two choices. 1: Believe in a God who hates me, and by whom I am confounded. Or 2: Reject God all together. Sadly, I chose the latter.
In the 10th grade, I slowly pulled out of my depression. (al-hamdullah) Things seemed to be getting better. I returned to school, made some friends, and even lost some weight. I accelled in my academic endeavors, and graduated in the top 15% of my class. And as for this "God" guy, I truly had come to believe that ignorance was bliss.
However, my happiness was superficial, to say the least. Something still wasn't quite right. Something I couldnt put my finger on. I felt full on the outside, but suprisingly empty on the inside. I still had trouble likeing myself, and was still haunted by thoughts of suicide. I had no idea about my life's direction, nor its purpose. So what did I do? I attempted to fill the void with material things. But the cheap happiness I got from expensive clothes, jewlery, and other fineries was but a poor substitute for what I really needed.
What I needed was God, and bad! But of course, I was blind to this. I didnt really come to view religion with any sort of contempt, but over my almost 3 years as an athiest/agnostic, I firmly believed in the old communist line "religion is the opium of the masses."As far as I was concerned, all religions were equal. Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism.... they were all man-made, cult-like, and only served to cloud and misguide the mind. Sure they made you feel nice. But isnt it better to have your mind free to think for itself and discover your real purpose in life, rather becoming a zombie and a slave to religion? I wasnt about to spend my life in this disallusioned state.
How Ignorant I was! If I had only known then what I know now, I probably wouldnt be writing this extensive essay. Of course I had learned about Islam in school, along with all the other major world religions. In fact, I still remembered some of its "pillars" from 9th grade history. But I had viewed it only objectively and academically, not really giving it a second thought. Then, 9/11. I had never heard of such crazy people in my life! Osama bin Laden, the Taliban, Al-Qaeda! What in the world were these whackos doing?! I didnt associate them with Islam, as I logically figured that they were messed up, since the killing of innocent people isnt condoned by any religion.

My path to change started in August 2004, while I was attending college in Buffalo NY, a much larger and ethnically diverse city compared to the little white-washed village where I grew up.By this time, I was more mature, as well as confident in myself. I hated the college scene. The parties, the drugs, the scantilly clad women. By this time, I was more mature, as well as confident in myself. I had become friends with a muslim who understood my plight. I confided in her that I was looking to be in a serious relationship with a good man. So, she introduced me to one of her Muslim friends. We talked over the phone for about a month, before finally meeting and taking the vow of marriage.
From the moment *name witheld* and I met eachother, we have been practically inseperable. Its like we were meant to be together. Staying around him 24/7, I immediately noticed the immense peace devotion to Allah had given him. I'll admit that I have always been intrigued by the Muslim culture and way of life, but never really cared to learn about Islam itself. I asked him a lot of questions on the subject, which he was more than happy to answer. I still was unsure about God's exsistance, but listened with an open mind. I kept him awake late asking him questions about God and Islam, as if I was some little kid asking my mother questions about why the sky is blue and why the grass is green. I would go to bed feeling warm and happy. The more I learned, the more I wanted to know. So I started doing some research on my own.
When I read the first article on Islam, I felt totally blown away, as If I had gotten hit by a frieght train. All of the sudden, everything about God, the universe, and life made perfect sense to me. I was struck by how incredible simple yet deeply profound the religion was. I have always been a thinking person and here, for the first time, was something that was logical and flawless in its reasoning. It lead me to believe that God (Allah) really does exsist. Islam really was the true religion!!! I couldn't believe it. From then on, I read non-stop.Sometimes being up till 4am and forgetting to do my homework (oops!). I had never been so obsessed with anything in my life. But I did not make the decision to convert until one night, where I came to this startling revelation.
In the past I had expressed anger, even hatred. toward God. I constantly was asking why He had made me suffer so much. I now realized I had suffered simply because He had willed it. But I also realized that He had willed something else, something that was perhaps a million times more important. He had brought me out of the dark and willed me to the right path, the path of Islam!
After coming to this epiphany at the odd hour of 2am, I immediately woke my husband up and told him I wanted to convert. Of course he was thrilled, but since the poor man was half asleep, he told me to wait till the next day. And on that day, November 15th, 2004, I was born again. After saying the shehadda with the utmost belief and conviction, I broke down crying in my husband's arms. I was Muslim! I couldn't believe I was Muslim! I have never been more proud of myself.
Now, more than a year later, I couldn't be happier. In submission to Allah, I have found the inner peace I have always longed for.

To all who have read this, thank you.

Ive come so far, but still have a ways to go.

Ma'salaama,

Emily

subhanaallah.....9/11 seems to be a turning point for many towards islam rather than away!!!!

sis emmy

Thank you so much for posting your journey. We do read it sis and alhamdulilaah that Allah guided you.

mashAllah that is beauitful sis welcome to islam and alhamduillah you found Allah, Allah uh Akbar, May Allah bless, guide, protect you in this life and in the next ameen
Salam walakum
REna

Subhanallah ture

Sister Hana & Emily Welcome to Islam. Alahmdulilaah Allah has guided you.

Very interesting story

For how long does one carry the label revert?

Subhanallah Nice post Emmy! May Allah (SWT) grant you steadfastness upon the deen ameen.

Since no one can answer my question. I suggest that the forum start addressing our brothers and sisters as muslim brothers and sisters or al akh or al ukht fil Islam.

This is more appropriate because it's really a pain that even after 18 years of becoming muslim, people still designate you as revert even after you have memorized al Quran and finished your degree in Islamic Studies.

Do we have to be Hamza Yusuf or Siraj Wahhaj to have our pre fix revert or convert dropped?

By labelling you create an unseen barrier between your brothers.

i was going to write this whole thing, cus I thought what you wrote was really judgement and tell about what i thought. and the idea of converts lol but i found out i dont have enough knowledge about the whole thing. so we are not suppose to speak on what we do not know.
salam walakum wr wb
may Allah bless guide and protect you all.
I just didnt want you to think that everyone was ignoring you

br. Takumi,
Most Muslims call someone a revert with good intentions - to honour them. However, if they wouyld not like to be repeatedly identified as a revert, they should let others know about it.

Lets not forget the best muslims, the Sahahba (may Allah be pleased with them) where mostly reverts/converts.

selam.......i was raised as a Jehovahs witness from the age of four to 20 ish before getting lost in the world and finding Islam very recently... the JW religion was not a bad upbringing just very orthadox and i feel i was brainwashed by the sect.......Thank Allah i have found the truth at last...of course i am new to Islam so need a lot of time to find myself in the religion. It is a bit difficult as i was brainwashed so well it seems.......inshallah i will be a good Muslim and learn the correct path....