One day Molla Nasreddin went to a banquet. As he was dressed rather shabbily, no one let him in. So he ran home, put on his best robe and returned. Immediately, the host came over, greeted him and ushered him to the head of an elaborate banquet table.

When the food was served, Nasreddin pushed his sleeves up to his plate and said, "Eat sleeves, eat! It's obvious that you're the real guest of honor today, not me!


One day a neighbor called on Molla.

"Molla, I want to borrow your donkey."

"I'm sorry," Molla said, "but I've already lent it out."

As soon as he had spoken, the sound of a donkey braying came from Molla's stable.

"But Molla, I can hear your donkey in there."

"Shame on you," Molla said indignantly, "that you would take the word of a donkey over my word."



and one for the cat lovers:

One day Molla bought three okes (an oke is 2.8 pounds) of meat and took it home to his wife. Then he returned to work. Immediately, his wife called her friends and prepared a superb dinner. In the evening, Molla returned for supper, and his wife offered him nothing but bread and onions.

He turned to her and said, "But why haven't you prepared anything from the meat?"

"I rinsed the meat and was going to put it on the stove when this **** cat came up and took it away," she said.

Molla at once ran to get the scales. Then he found the cat and weighed it. It was exactly three okes!

Then he turned to his wife and said, "Look here! If what I have just weighed is the cat, then where's the meat? But if this is the meat, then where's the cat?

hilarious!!

One day a visitor came to Mullah Nasruddin with a question.
Mullah Nasruddin, the place that we humans come from and the place that we go to, what is it like?
Oh, said Mullah Nasruddin, it is a very frightening place.
Why do you say that? the visitor asked.
Well, when we come from there as babies, we are crying, and when somebody has to go there, everybody cries.



Mullahs Wifes

According to social rules existing during Molla's day, brides didn't show themselves to their future husbands prior to marriage.

On Molla's wedding day, his wife unveiled her face to him and asked, "Tell me, which of your relatives can I see without covering my face?" Molla replied, "Show your face to whomever you want; just make sure you keep it covered in my presence!"



The Turkish Bath
One day Molla went to a Turkish bath but as he was dressed so poorly, the attendants didn't pay much attention to him. They gave him only a scrap of soap, a rag for a loin cloth and an old towel.

When Molla left, he gave each of the two attendants a gold coin. As he had not complained of their poor service, they were very surprised. They wondered had they treated him better whether he would have given them even a larger tip.

The next week, Molla came again. This time, they treated him like royalty and gave him embroidered towels and a loin cloth of silk. After being massaged and perfumed, he left the bath, handing each attendant the smallest copper coin possible. "This," said Molla, "is for the last visit. The gold coins are for today."

Thanks for this thread brother!

Trying to remember one....hoping I get it right......


Once Mullah NasrUddin said 'I can see in the dark'. So his friends asked him 'Then why do we see you walking around with a lantern?'. To which he replied 'That is to prevent other people bumping into me'.

lol

These jokes are hilarious!

One day Mullah Nasruddin had invited a visiting scholar to his house for a meal. Upon the self-important visiting scholar's arrival at Nasruddin's house, the scholar knocked and knocked. No answer, he looked through the windows, no-one there. The scholar waited, and as he waited, he became angrier and angrier. "Why, doesn't he know who I am" , "I am so and so and who does he think he is to keep me waiting!", the scholar thundered as he stomped around Nasruddin's courtyard. Finally, he became so angry he grabbed a pencil and scribbled on his doorway, "IDIOT!"

Well, around about 2 o'clock, Nasruddin returned home and suddenly remembered! He RAN back to the marketplace shouting for the scholar when he spotted him shortly. "Oh, I am so sorry, please forgive me, I remembered our appointment when I saw your name written on my door"

Mullahs Wifes

According to social rules existing during Molla's day, brides didn't show themselves to their future husbands prior to marriage.

On Molla's wedding day, his wife unveiled her face to him and asked, "Tell me, which of your relatives can I see without covering my face?" Molla replied, "Show your face to whomever you want; just make sure you keep it covered in my presence!"

I didn't get this, please explain?

The Turkish Bath
One day Molla went to a Turkish bath but as he was dressed so poorly, the attendants didn't pay much attention to him. They gave him only a scrap of soap, a rag for a loin cloth and an old towel.

When Molla left, he gave each of the two attendants a gold coin. As he had not complained of their poor service, they were very surprised. They wondered had they treated him better whether he would have given them even a larger tip.

The next week, Molla came again. This time, they treated him like royalty and gave him embroidered towels and a loin cloth of silk. After being massaged and perfumed, he left the bath, handing each attendant the smallest copper coin possible. "This," said Molla, "is for the last visit. The gold coins are for today."

Smart

Originally Posted by IslamInside

I didn't get this, please explain?

From what I understood, he's insinuating that shes ugly, hence telling her to "keep it covered" in his presence.

One day Mullah Nasruddin went to market to buy new clothes. First he tested a pair of trousers. He didn't like the trousers and he gave back them to the shopkeeper. Then he tried a robe which had same price as the trousers. Mullah Nasruddin was pleased with the robe and he left the shop. Before he climbed on the donkey to ride home he stopped by the shopkeeper and the shop-assistant.

- You didn't pay for the robe, said the shopkeeper.

- But I gave you the trousers instead of the robe, isn't it? replied Mullah Nasruddin .

- Yes, but you didn't pay for the trousers, either! said the shopkeeper.

- But I didn't buy the trousers, replied Mullah Nasruddin. I am not so stupid to pay for something which I never bought.

^^pfft wow lol.

Perfection
An admirer of his once asked the sage "Master, why did you never marry?"
"Well," he replied, "In my youth I searched for the perfect woman. I spent time with many women, but they all had a flaw. One would be beautiful, but cruel. Another intelligent, but lazy. I had almost given up hope, when I met her; the perfect woman. Healthy, intelligent, sensitive, witty, beautiful, talented...she was everything I was looking for."
"So why did you not marry her?"
"Odd thing," replied the Hoja, "She was looking for the perfect man..."



Qazi (Judge) Nasruddin was working in his room one day when a neighbor ran in and said, "If one man's cow kills another's, is the owner of the first cow responsible?"
"It depends," answered Nasruddin.
"Well," said the man, "your cow has killed mine."
"Oh," answered Nasruddin. "Everyone knows that a cow cannot think like a human, so a cow is not responsible, and that means that its owner is not responsible either."
"I'm sorry, Judge," said the man. "I made a mistake. I meant that my cow killed yours."
Judge Nasruddin thought for a few seconds and then said, "When I think about it more carefully, this case is not as easy as I thought at first." And then he turned to his clerk and said, "Please bring me that big black book from the shelf behind you..."



A group of philosophers traveled far and wide to find, and, contemplated for many years, the end of the world but could not state a time for its coming. Finally they turned to Mullah Nasruddin and asked him: "Do you know when the end of the world will be?" "Of course, said Mullah Nasruddin , when I die, that will be the end of the world." "When you die? Are you sure?" "It will be for me at least," said Mullah Nasruddin .

Good jokes

jazaakAllah.

According to social rules existing during Molla's day, brides didn't show themselves to their future husbands prior to marriage.

On Molla's wedding day, his wife unveiled her face to him and asked, "Tell me, which of your relatives can I see without covering my face?" Molla replied, "Show your face to whomever you want; just make sure you keep it covered in my presence!"

One day a neighbor called on Molla.

"Molla, I want to borrow your donkey."

"I'm sorry," Molla said, "but I've already lent it out."

As soon as he had spoken, the sound of a donkey braying came from Molla's stable.

"But Molla, I can hear your donkey in there."

"Shame on you," Molla said indignantly, "that you would take the word of a donkey over my word."

One day Mullah Nasruddin had invited a visiting scholar to his house for a meal. Upon the self-important visiting scholar's arrival at Nasruddin's house, the scholar knocked and knocked. No answer, he looked through the windows, no-one there. The scholar waited, and as he waited, he became angrier and angrier. "Why, doesn't he know who I am" , "I am so and so and who does he think he is to keep me waiting!", the scholar thundered as he stomped around Nasruddin's courtyard. Finally, he became so angry he grabbed a pencil and scribbled on his doorway, "IDIOT!"

Well, around about 2 o'clock, Nasruddin returned home and suddenly remembered! He RAN back to the marketplace shouting for the scholar when he spotted him shortly. "Oh, I am so sorry, please forgive me, I remembered our appointment when I saw your name written on my door"

Perfection
An admirer of his once asked the sage "Master, why did you never marry?"
"Well," he replied, "In my youth I searched for the perfect woman. I spent time with many women, but they all had a flaw. One would be beautiful, but cruel. Another intelligent, but lazy. I had almost given up hope, when I met her; the perfect woman. Healthy, intelligent, sensitive, witty, beautiful, talented...she was everything I was looking for."
"So why did you not marry her?"
"Odd thing," replied the Hoja, "She was looking for the perfect man..."

Qazi (Judge) Nasruddin was working in his room one day when a neighbor ran in and said, "If one man's cow kills another's, is the owner of the first cow responsible?"
"It depends," answered Nasruddin.
"Well," said the man, "your cow has killed mine."
"Oh," answered Nasruddin. "Everyone knows that a cow cannot think like a human, so a cow is not responsible, and that means that its owner is not responsible either."
"I'm sorry, Judge," said the man. "I made a mistake. I meant that my cow killed yours."
Judge Nasruddin thought for a few seconds and then said, "When I think about it more carefully, this case is not as easy as I thought at first." And then he turned to his clerk and said, "Please bring me that big black book from the shelf behind you..."

A group of philosophers traveled far and wide to find, and, contemplated for many years, the end of the world but could not state a time for its coming. Finally they turned to Mullah Nasruddin and asked him: "Do you know when the end of the world will be?" "Of course, said Mullah Nasruddin , when I die, that will be the end of the world." "When you die? Are you sure?" "It will be for me at least," said Mullah Nasruddin .

more!


One day Mullah Nasruddin entered his favorite teahouse and said: 'The moon is more useful than the sun'.
An old man asked 'Why Mulla?'
Nasruddin replied 'We need the light more during the night than during the day.'