IB Islamic Forum  
 

 


Notices
Puzzles & Humour Share puzzles and jokes, but keeping within limits.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old
  (#1 (permalink))
5 Years at LI
 
zĀk's Avatar
 
Status: Offline
Posts: 23,482
Reputation: 126933
Rep Power: 212
zĀk is a blessing to IB.zĀk is a blessing to IB.zĀk is a blessing to IB.zĀk is a blessing to IB.zĀk is a blessing to IB.zĀk is a blessing to IB.zĀk is a blessing to IB.zĀk is a blessing to IB.zĀk is a blessing to IB.zĀk is a blessing to IB.zĀk is a blessing to IB.
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Cyberabad
Gender:Brother In Islam
Way of Life: Muslim
Default R u an IT consultant ? - 08-01-2005



R u an IT Consultant ?
anyways, ... enjoy reading

Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of
a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The
driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses,
TAG-Heuer wrist-watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie,gets out and asks the
Shepherd: "If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one
of >them?" The shepherd looks at the young man, and then looks at the large
flock of grazing sheep and replies: "Okay." The young man parks the car,
connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Webster, scans the
ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with
logarithms and pivot tables, then prints out a 150 page report on his
high-tech mini-printer. He turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly
1,586 sheep here." The shepherd cheers," That's correct, you can have your
sheep." The young man makes his pick and puts it in the back of his Porsche.
The shepherd looks at him and asks: "If I guess your profession, will you
return my animal to me?" The young man answers, "Yes, why not". The shepherd
says, "You are an IT consultant ".How did you know?" asks the young man.
"Very simple," answers the shepherd. "First, you came here without being
called. Second, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew,
and third, you don't understand anything about my business...

Now can I have my DOG back?"
__________________
   
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Old
  (#2 (permalink))
Khatib al-Hoor
 
Muraad's Avatar
 
Status: Offline
Posts: 7,943
Reputation: 72594
Rep Power: 127
Muraad has much to be proud ofMuraad has much to be proud ofMuraad has much to be proud ofMuraad has much to be proud ofMuraad has much to be proud ofMuraad has much to be proud ofMuraad has much to be proud ofMuraad has much to be proud ofMuraad has much to be proud ofMuraad has much to be proud ofMuraad has much to be proud of
Join Date: Mar 2005
Gender:Brother In Islam
Way of Life: Muslim
Default Re: R u an IT consultant ? - 08-01-2005



Didnt get the dog part but it was quite amusing.
__________________
The example of those who take allies other than Allah is like that of the spider who takes a home. And indeed, the weakest of homes is the home of the spider, if they only knew. Indeed, Allah knows whatever thing they call upon other than Him. And He is the Exalted in Might, the Wise. And these examples We present to the people, but none will understand them except those of knowledge.
[al-'Ankaboot; 41-44]

   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#3 (permalink))
LI News Service
 
Uthmān's Avatar
 
Status: Offline
Posts: 5,572
Reputation: 45584
Rep Power: 93
Uthmān is a glorious beacon of lightUthmān is a glorious beacon of lightUthmān is a glorious beacon of lightUthmān is a glorious beacon of lightUthmān is a glorious beacon of lightUthmān is a glorious beacon of lightUthmān is a glorious beacon of lightUthmān is a glorious beacon of lightUthmān is a glorious beacon of lightUthmān is a glorious beacon of lightUthmān is a glorious beacon of light
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Warrington, England
Gender:Brother In Islam
Way of Life: Muslim
Default Re: R u an IT consultant ? - 08-01-2005



LOL! Ahmed, they were all dogs, not sheep. But the IT consultant is such a klutz, that he thought they were sheep. I think that's how it is anyway . . .


__________________

Imaam al-Shaafi'ee (rahimahullah) said:

I never argued with anyone with the intention to win; rather, my intention was to seek the truth.

Can you say the same thing? Think about it. Then think again.
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#4 (permalink))
5 Years at LI
 
zĀk's Avatar
 
Status: Offline
Posts: 23,482
Reputation: 126933
Rep Power: 212
zĀk is a blessing to IB.zĀk is a blessing to IB.zĀk is a blessing to IB.zĀk is a blessing to IB.zĀk is a blessing to IB.zĀk is a blessing to IB.zĀk is a blessing to IB.zĀk is a blessing to IB.zĀk is a blessing to IB.zĀk is a blessing to IB.zĀk is a blessing to IB.
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Cyberabad
Gender:Brother In Islam
Way of Life: Muslim
Default Re: R u an IT consultant ? - 08-01-2005

Quote:
You have exactly1,586 sheep here.
Quote:
they were all dogs, not sheep
wat does a SHEPHERD has to do wid 1586 dogs ?

Silly Ozzy
__________________
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#5 (permalink))
LI News Service
 
Uthmān's Avatar
 
Status: Offline
Posts: 5,572
Reputation: 45584
Rep Power: 93
Uthmān is a glorious beacon of lightUthmān is a glorious beacon of lightUthmān is a glorious beacon of lightUthmān is a glorious beacon of lightUthmān is a glorious beacon of lightUthmān is a glorious beacon of lightUthmān is a glorious beacon of lightUthmān is a glorious beacon of lightUthmān is a glorious beacon of lightUthmān is a glorious beacon of lightUthmān is a glorious beacon of light
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Warrington, England
Gender:Brother In Islam
Way of Life: Muslim
Default Re: R u an IT consultant ? - 08-01-2005



I know a shepherd who has dogs and not sheep! Ok, Ahmed an updated explanation: The sheep that the the IT consultant picked was a dog. And hey zAk, what about my image that needs resizing?


__________________

Imaam al-Shaafi'ee (rahimahullah) said:

I never argued with anyone with the intention to win; rather, my intention was to seek the truth.

Can you say the same thing? Think about it. Then think again.
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#6 (permalink))
5 Years at LI
 
zĀk's Avatar
 
Status: Offline
Posts: 23,482
Reputation: 126933
Rep Power: 212
zĀk is a blessing to IB.zĀk is a blessing to IB.zĀk is a blessing to IB.zĀk is a blessing to IB.zĀk is a blessing to IB.zĀk is a blessing to IB.zĀk is a blessing to IB.zĀk is a blessing to IB.zĀk is a blessing to IB.zĀk is a blessing to IB.zĀk is a blessing to IB.
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Cyberabad
Gender:Brother In Islam
Way of Life: Muslim
Default Re: R u an IT consultant ? - 08-02-2005

aaaah abt tht ?
if its for decreasing the size, then well, it will b OK,
but increasing the size wud effect the quality of the image
its clarity wud b lost

i don't hv any such s/w now, tht can inc the size without effecting the image quality :brother:
__________________
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#7 (permalink))
ermm?
 
sapphire's Avatar
 
Status: Offline
Posts: 3,250
Reputation: 9637
Rep Power: 43
sapphire will become famous soon enoughsapphire will become famous soon enoughsapphire will become famous soon enoughsapphire will become famous soon enoughsapphire will become famous soon enoughsapphire will become famous soon enoughsapphire will become famous soon enoughsapphire will become famous soon enoughsapphire will become famous soon enoughsapphire will become famous soon enoughsapphire will become famous soon enough
Join Date: Jul 2005
Gender:Sister In Islam
Way of Life: Muslim
Default Re: R u an IT consultant ? - 04-04-2006

__________________
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#8 (permalink))
dOnKeY pOwEr
 
Sis786's Avatar
 
Status: Offline
Posts: 1,734
Reputation: 1876
Rep Power: 29
Sis786 is on a distinguished roadSis786 is on a distinguished roadSis786 is on a distinguished roadSis786 is on a distinguished roadSis786 is on a distinguished roadSis786 is on a distinguished roadSis786 is on a distinguished roadSis786 is on a distinguished roadSis786 is on a distinguished roadSis786 is on a distinguished roadSis786 is on a distinguished road
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: In a Council Skip...plz dont tell them!
Gender:Sister In Islam
Way of Life: Muslim
Default Re: R u an IT consultant ? - 04-04-2006

Abd Majid will Love this he too is a IT consultant LOL
__________________

I Know Im A Star!
   
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Old
  (#9 (permalink))
Full Member
 
life's Avatar
 
Status: Offline
Posts: 449
Reputation: 278
Rep Power: 29
life is an unknown quantity at this pointlife is an unknown quantity at this pointlife is an unknown quantity at this point
Join Date: Jul 2005
Gender:Sister In Islam
Way of Life: Muslim
Default Re: R u an IT consultant ? - 04-04-2006

Quote:
Originally Posted by zAk View Post


Now can I have my DOG back?"
that was really funny ............
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#10 (permalink))
LI's Sole Dominator
 
The Ruler's Avatar
 
Status: Offline
Posts: 8,842
Reputation: 37732
Rep Power: 85
The Ruler is just really niceThe Ruler is just really niceThe Ruler is just really niceThe Ruler is just really niceThe Ruler is just really niceThe Ruler is just really niceThe Ruler is just really niceThe Ruler is just really niceThe Ruler is just really niceThe Ruler is just really niceThe Ruler is just really nice
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Oubliette.
Way of Life: Muslim
Default Re: R u an IT consultant ? - 04-04-2006

didnt geddit

__________________
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#11 (permalink))
IB Oldtimer
 
strider's Avatar
 
Status: Offline
Posts: 1,277
Reputation: 2664
Rep Power: 34
strider will become famous soon enoughstrider will become famous soon enoughstrider will become famous soon enoughstrider will become famous soon enoughstrider will become famous soon enoughstrider will become famous soon enoughstrider will become famous soon enoughstrider will become famous soon enoughstrider will become famous soon enoughstrider will become famous soon enoughstrider will become famous soon enough
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: West Midlands, England, United Kingdom
Gender:Sister In Islam
Way of Life: Muslim
Default Re: R u an IT consultant ? - 04-04-2006

Assalamu alaikum

I'm still chuckling..

Ma'assalama
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#12 (permalink))
Full Member
 
Eliwen's Avatar
 
Status: Offline
Posts: 71
Reputation: 228
Rep Power: 26
Eliwen is an unknown quantity at this pointEliwen is an unknown quantity at this pointEliwen is an unknown quantity at this point
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: UK
Gender:Sister In Islam
Way of Life: Muslim
Default Re: R u an IT consultant ? - 04-04-2006

Nice one
__________________
   
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On




Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SEO by vBSEO 3.3.0 RC2
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com

Road to Jannah| Diaries of a Hafiz| Jannah Network| Muslim Forum| Islamic Resources and Articles| Nasheeds| Rhymes Of Praise| Jannah Bookstore| Halal Records| Jannah Network: Serving the On-Line Muslim Community|
Page generated in 0.66859 seconds with 9 queries