> > Memo to the Director:
> > Subject: Letter of Recommendation
> >
> > Jane S., a chief sub editor and editor, can always be found
> > hard at work in her cubicle. Jane works independently, without
> > wasting company time talking to colleagues. She never
> > thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and she always
> > finishes given assignments on time. Often Jane takes extended
> > measures to complete her work, sometimes skipping
> > coffee breaks. She is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
> > vanity in spite of her high accomplishments and profound
> > knowledge in her field. I firmly believe that Jane can be
> > classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be
> > dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Jane be
> > promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
> > sent away as soon as possible.
> >
> > Project Leader
> >
> > -----------------------------------------------------------------
> > (Later that afternoon another memo was sent...)
> >
> > Memo to the Director:
> > Subject: Letter of Recommendation
> >
> > Sorry about the earlier memo.
> > Jane was looking over my shoulder as I wrote it.
> > Kindly read every other line (i.e. 1, 3, 5, 7...) for my true
> > assessment of her.
> >
> > Regards,
> > Project Leader

^ its not my fault your having fun

on a more serious note :::

Are you Qualified ?

> > >
> > > > The following small quiz consists of 4 questions, it tells whether you
> > > > are qualified to be a professional. According to "some" statistics
> > > > around 90% of the professionals failed the exam. Scroll down
> > > > for the answers.
> > >
> > > > The questions are not that difficult. You just need to be a
> > > > bit.......
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
> > > > |
> > > > |
> > > > |
> > > > |
> > > > |
> > > > |
> > > > |
> > > > \/
> > > > The correct answer is : open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and
> > > > close the door.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > The next question tests whether you are doing simple things in a
> > > > complicated way.
> > > >
> > > > 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
> > > > |
> > > > |
> > > > |
> > > > |
> > > > |
> > > > |
> > > > |
> > > > \/
> > > > Wrong Answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and close the
> > > > door.
> > > >
> > > > Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in
> > > > the elephant and close the door.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > The next question tests your prudence.
> > > >
> > > > 3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals
> > > > attend except one. Which animal does not attend ?
> > > > |
> > > > |
> > > > |
> > > > |
> > > > |
> > > > |
> > > > |
> > > > \/
> > > > Correct Answer: The Elephant! ...still in the refrigerator!
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > The next question tests whether you have a comprehensive thinking.
> > > > OK, if you did not answer the last three questions correctly, this one
> > > > may be your last chance to testify your qualification to be a professional.
> > > >
> > > > 4. There is a river, which is lived in by crocodiles. How do you
> > > > manage to cross it?
> > > > |
> > > > |
> > > > |
> > > > |
> > > > |
> > > > |
> > > > |
> > > > \/
> > > > Correct Answer: Simply swim through it. All the crocodiles are
> > > > attending the Animal Meeting!
> > > >
> > > > I hope you got this one correct!
> > > >
> > > >
> >
>
>




:|

^ heres one ur sure to like

The Genie on the Island
-----------------------

> Three guys were on an island. One of the guys finds a Genie lamp in
> the sand and picks it up. After examining it, he rubbed it and out popped
> a Genie.

> The Genie says to them, "For freeing me I will grant you each of you
> ONE wish."

> So the first guy said, "I wish I was 25% smarter."
> So PUFF, he was 25% smarter, built a raft and got off the island.

> The second guy said, "I wish I was 50% smarter."
> So PUFF, he was 50% smarter, built a canoe and got off the island.

> The third guy said, "I wish I was 100% smarter."
> So PUFF, he became a woman and walked accross the bridge.

^ thats nasty

The Jack Schitt story
---------------------

For some time many of us have
wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We
find ourselves at a loss when someone
says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!"
Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts,
you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.
Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married
O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc.
They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt.
The deeply religious couple produced
six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt,
Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins
Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her
parents' objections, Deap Schitt married
Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.

After being married 15 years, Jack and
Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later
married Ted Sherlock, and, because her
kids were living with them, she wanted to
keep her previous name. She was then known
as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt,
and they produced a son with a rather
nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt.
Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt
and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout
childhood and subsequently married the
Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.
The wedding announcement in the newspaper
announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg,
Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal
son, left home to tour the world. He recently
returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa
Schitt.

Now, when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt,"
you can correct them.



*--------------------------

dat is sooooooooooo funni cnt stp laufing