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  1. #1
    Limited Member Array *muslimah*'s Avatar
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    Talking Urdu Latife (Urdu Jokes) (OP)


    urdu joke:
    Eik admi bus stop par kahra huwa hota hain
    Police wala us se poochta hain tum neh yaha se 3 choro koh jateh huwe dekha hain
    Admi bohlta hain
    Yaha se sida jao to 3 mohale aye gaye
    pehle mohale koh choro
    dusre koh choro
    teesre mohale main jana
    waha jah kar teen galiya aye gih
    pehli koh choro
    duri koh choro
    teesre gali main jana
    to waha 3 dukane ho gayi
    pehli koh choro
    dusri ko choro
    teesri dukaan keh saat saat jana
    to waha teen ghar aye gaye
    pehle koh choro
    dure koh choro
    teesre ghar main jana to waha teen room aye gaye
    pehle koh choro
    dure koh choro
    teesre main jana
    waha teen cupboards aye gaye
    pehle koh choro
    dusre koh choro
    teesre cupboards koh kohl nah
    waha teen daraaz ho gaye
    pehle koh chorna
    dusre koh chorna
    teesre koh kohl nah
    waha teen pictures ho gayi
    pehli pic koh chorna
    duri pic koh chor nah
    teesri pic koh dekh na
    woh pic meri ma ki hain
    aur main apni ma ki kasam kah keh kehta hoon

    maine kissi choor koh nahi dekha
    Last edited by zAk; 10-05-2005 at 10:13 AM.

  2. #201
    فصبرٌ جميلٌ Muhaba's Avatar
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    Re: Urdu Latife (Urdu Jokes)


    ^that is a fantastic question. we should always know where we are going before we start or else we might get lost. a plan (or map) is always necessary.
    Urdu Latife (Urdu Jokes)

    ARABIC MADE EASY



    e-book: $3.99
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    http://www.goodreads.com/KokabRahman

  3. #202
    IB Oldtimer Rafeeq's Avatar
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    Re: Urdu Latife (Urdu Jokes)


    Aik door daraz k gaon me bohat machar ho gaey. Gaon k baron ney faisla kia ye machron ki is foj sey jo raat ko nikalti hey, aney wali raat muqabla kia jaey. Elan kara dia gia k sab nojawan raat ko tyaar ho jaey, bandooqein, bhaley, teer or talwar ley kar tayar ho gai.

    Sari raat machron ka peecha kia jata raha mgr koi kamyabi na ho saki. Subah tarkey aik thaka hara dehati ongh raha tha k us k sathi ney dekha machar us ki naak pey betha hey. Us ney shest (nishana) bandhi to onghtey dehati ki ankh khul gai, is sey pehley k wo dar k bhagta, nishana leney waley ney kaha, hilna mat dushman tumhari naak pey betha hey or goli chala di.

    Subah gaon k sarey bachey borhey gaon k sardar k derey pey jang ka natija suney gai jo ye tha.

    LARAI BARABAR RAHI, DUSHMAN KA AIK JAWAN MARA GIA AOR HAMAREY BHI AIK SIPAHI KO APNI JAAN SEY HATH DHONEY PAREY.

    (Agar insano key is tabqey ka taluq sikh baradri sey zahir kar dia jaey to latifey ka maza dobala ho sakta hey)
    Urdu Latife (Urdu Jokes)

    When there is nothing left but Allah that is when you find out that Allah is all you need.

  4. #203
    IB Oldtimer 'Abd Al-Maajid's Avatar
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    Re: Urdu Latife (Urdu Jokes)



    Ahem *clears throat*
    Ek gadhe ne sardar ko laat maari,
    Sardar uske peeche bhaaga, Raste me usey zebra mil gaya,
    Sardar usko laat maarkar bola, "Saaley! Night dress pahenkar ullu banaata hai?"

  5. #204
    Account Disabled ~Raindrop~'s Avatar
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    Re: Urdu Latife (Urdu Jokes)


    LOL!
    poor zebra

  6. #205
    IB Oldtimer Rafeeq's Avatar
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    Re: Urdu Latife (Urdu Jokes)


    Quote Originally Posted by Aisha View Post
    poor zebra
    Rich Sardar

    Kam az kam daad to urdu me deni chahye
    Urdu Latife (Urdu Jokes)

    When there is nothing left but Allah that is when you find out that Allah is all you need.

  7. #206
    Slave of Allaah Ğħαrєєвαħ's Avatar
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    Re: Urdu Latife (Urdu Jokes)


    Quote Originally Posted by Aisha View Post
    LOL!
    poor zebra
    lol poor PEOPLE!
    Urdu Latife (Urdu Jokes)

    "Allah! La ilaha illa Huwa (none has the right to be worshipped but He), Al-Hayyul-Qayyum (the Ever Living, the One Who sustains and protects all that exists).".."[Al Qur'aan 3:2]

  8. #207
    IB Oldtimer Rafeeq's Avatar
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    Re: Urdu Latife (Urdu Jokes)


    Aik shaks, chashma lagaey marriage certificate ko kafi der sey ulat palat kar dekh raha tha.
    Begam ney poocha, aap kia dekh rahey hein, bola, har certificate ki expiry date hoti hey, is ki expiry dhoond raha hon. . . . . .
    Urdu Latife (Urdu Jokes)

    When there is nothing left but Allah that is when you find out that Allah is all you need.

  9. #208
    IB Oldtimer Rafeeq's Avatar
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    Re: Urdu Latife (Urdu Jokes)


    Aik siyah jagah sair karney gya, wahan k log usey bilkul pasand na aey.

    aik hotel me khana khaney betha to berey (waiter) ney poocha sahab kia lo gey. Us ney jawab dia. Aik machli farai or hamdardi k do bol. Berey ney pocha aor kuch, to syah ney jawab dia, nhi hamdardi k do bol sirf.

    Berey ney apna muhn us k kaan k pas laya or kaha "sahab, machli mat khana, do din ki basi hey"
    Urdu Latife (Urdu Jokes)

    When there is nothing left but Allah that is when you find out that Allah is all you need.

  10. #209
    IB Oldtimer Rafeeq's Avatar
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    Re: Urdu Latife (Urdu Jokes)


    ایک بڑی بی کو گرنے کی وجہ سے سخت چوٹ آگئی
    ڈاکٹر نے مرہم پٹّی کردی اور سیڑھیوں سے اُترنے چڑھنے کو منع کردیا دو مہینے بعدپٹّی کھُل گئی تو ڈاکٹر نے اُنہیں سیڑھیاں چڑھنے کی اجازت دیدی تو اُنہوںنے کہا
    خُداکا شُکر ہے کہ اب میں سیڑھیاں اُتر اور چڑھہ سکوں گی
    ورنہ میں پائپ کے راستے اُترتی چڑھتی تنگ آگئی تھی ؛
    Last edited by Tilmeez; 12-18-2010 at 02:16 PM. Reason: Increased font size :)
    Urdu Latife (Urdu Jokes)

    When there is nothing left but Allah that is when you find out that Allah is all you need.

  11. #210
    IB Oldtimer Innocent Soul's Avatar
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    Re: Urdu Latife (Urdu Jokes)


    Ek sardar ko murgi khane ka dil kar raha tha .Usse murgi ko angreezi mein kya kahte hai yaad nahi aaraha tha. Us ne hotel mein jakar raha 'I want to eat egg's mother'.
    Urdu Latife (Urdu Jokes)


  12. #211
    IB Oldtimer Rafeeq's Avatar
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    Re: Urdu Latife (Urdu Jokes)


    Quote Originally Posted by Safiya 1 View Post
    Ek sardar ko murgi khane ka dil kar raha tha .Usse murgi ko angreezi mein kya kahte hai yaad nahi aaraha tha. Us ne hotel mein jakar raha 'I want to eat egg's mother'
    LOL........................
    Urdu Latife (Urdu Jokes)

    When there is nothing left but Allah that is when you find out that Allah is all you need.

  13. #212
    IB Oldtimer 'Abd Al-Maajid's Avatar
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    Re: Urdu Latife (Urdu Jokes)


    10-12 log ek sardar ko maar rahe the phir bhi sardar hans raha tha. Ek aadmi poocha, "kyun hans rahe ho?" Sardar bola, "Mai gurmeet hoon, ye log mujhe kuldip samajh kar maar rahe hain, kitne paagal hai."

  14. #213
    Account Disabled ~Raindrop~'s Avatar
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    Re: Urdu Latife (Urdu Jokes)


    Quote Originally Posted by View Post
    10-12 log ek sardar ko maar rahe the phir bhi sardar hans raha tha. Ek aadmi poocha, "kyun hans rahe ho?" sardar bola, "mai gurmeet hoon, ye log mujhe kuldip samajh kar maar rahe hain, kitne paagal hai."
    lol

    ......
    Last edited by ~Raindrop~; 12-27-2010 at 06:59 AM.

  15. #214
    Slave of Allaah Ğħαrєєвαħ's Avatar
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    Re: Urdu Latife (Urdu Jokes)


    Quote Originally Posted by Aisha View Post


    lol

    ......
    . . . . . . . . . . . . .
    Urdu Latife (Urdu Jokes)

    "Allah! La ilaha illa Huwa (none has the right to be worshipped but He), Al-Hayyul-Qayyum (the Ever Living, the One Who sustains and protects all that exists).".."[Al Qur'aan 3:2]

  16. #215
    cageprisoners.com Abdul-Raouf's Avatar
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    Re: Urdu Latife (Urdu Jokes)


    Quote Originally Posted by abdulmājid View Post
    10-12 log ek sardar ko maar rahe the phir bhi sardar hans raha tha. Ek aadmi poocha, "kyun hans rahe ho?" Sardar bola, "Mai gurmeet hoon, ye log mujhe kuldip samajh kar maar rahe hain, kitne paagal hai."
    hee hee ...thats called innocent smile (laugh) ... i think ??

  17. #216
    IB Oldtimer 'Abd Al-Maajid's Avatar
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    Re: Urdu Latife (Urdu Jokes)


    Quote Originally Posted by Abdul-Raouf View Post
    hee hee ...thats called innocent smile (laugh) ... i think ??
    No, That's a 'very stupid sardar'.

  18. #217
    IB Oldtimer Rafeeq's Avatar
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    Re: Urdu Latife (Urdu Jokes)


    Bhekari ney maldar no jawan sey poocha, " Sahab, kia bat hey, 5 sal pehley aap mujhy 10 rupey detey they, 2 sal pehley 5 rupey aor ab 2 rupey dena shru kr diey hein."

    Nojawan ney jawab dia, "5 sal pehley me kunwara tha, 2 sal pehley meri shadi ho gai aor ab meri aik bachi bhi hey."

    Bhekari ney berukhi sey munh phertey huey kaha, "bohat khoob...... to aap merey paison sey apney khandan ki parwarish kar rahey hein."
    Urdu Latife (Urdu Jokes)

    When there is nothing left but Allah that is when you find out that Allah is all you need.

  19. #218
    IB Oldtimer 'Abd Al-Maajid's Avatar
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    Re: Urdu Latife (Urdu Jokes)


    ^HAHA That was funny!!!

  20. #219
    IB Oldtimer 'Abd Al-Maajid's Avatar
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    Re: Urdu Latife (Urdu Jokes)


    Ek bachcha chocolate kha raha tha, ek aadmi bola, "itni chocolate khaana acha nahi hota."
    Bachcha : mere dadaji 105 saal jiye the
    Admi : Chocolate khate the kya wo?
    Bachcha : Nahin, apne kaam se kaam rakhte the.

  21. #220
    IB Oldtimer 'Abd Al-Maajid's Avatar
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    Re: Urdu Latife (Urdu Jokes)


    Fighter jet pilot SARDAR ne kamyabi ke baad apna plane land kia.Land karne par ground staff ne usey hathon hath liya aur uski wardi utarne me help karne lage.

    Sardar (fakr se):Aaj maine Pakistan ke 4 fightr jet,2 helicoptr aur 2 tank ko udaya hai.

    Ground Staff:Wo sab to theek hai sardarji,lekin aapne ek galti kar di.

    Sardar:Kya galti?

    Staff:Bas aap iss khushi me Pakistan me hi land kar gaye.

 

 
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