A Righteous Predecessor Advises his Son

**Al-Mu'minah** · **A Righteous Predecessor Advises his Son -** 08-04-2006

A Righteous Predecessor Advises his Son

Al Khataab ibn al Ma’laa al Makhzumee al Qurashee

Mohammad ibn al Mundhir ibn sa’eed related to me that Abu Hatim Muhammad ibn Idrees al Hanthalee said…that al Khataab ibn al Ma’laa al Makhzumee al Qurashee advised his son saying:

My son, fear Allaah and be obedient to Him. Avoid sinning by following His Sunnah and teachings in order to rectify your faults and attain bliss, indeed nothing whatsoever is hidden from Allaah. I put some directions together and drew out a plan for you. If you memorize, understand and act upon them, you would fill the eyes of kings and even the vagabond would be obedient to you. You would continue to be needed and honoured, people would continue to be in need of what you posses. So obey your father, suffice yourself with his advice and open your mind and heart to it.

Beware of excessive talking, joking, laughing and fooling around with brothers, indeed this removes respect / esteem and causes disputes. It is upon you to be tranquil and calm without having pride, which may be attributed to you, and without being arrogant, which may be said about you. Treat both friends and enemies pleasantly, prevent theri harms without putting them down or holding them in high regard.

Take the middle path in all your affairs, for indeed the best affairs are the intermediary ones [i.e. between extremism and excessive lenience]. Speak little, spread the Salaam, and walk firmly and purposefully. Do not stamp your feet, drag your tail [i.e: Isbaal], raise your neck, robes or be conceited. Do not look around too much, stop at crowds or linger in the market.

Do not debate a lot and do not get into arguments with the foolish. When you speak, keep it short and limit joking. If you sit, cross your legs and avoid interlocking your fingers, playing with your beard, ring or sword handle. Do not clean between your teeth [while sitting in public], pick your nose or busy yourself with chasing flies away. Do not spy on others and so forth, which would cause people to belittle or insult you.

Your gatherings should be calm and your speech should be balanced…

To be continued

shariq_0189 · **Re: A Righteous Predecessor Advises his Son -** 08-04-2006

mashallah thts a nice post...all thos things are nreally important.

syilla · **Re: A Righteous Predecessor Advises his Son -** 08-11-2006

jazakallah khayr...

but it is a good reminder....

**Al-Mu'minah** · **Re: A Righteous Predecessor Advises his Son -** 04-14-2007

Continued from the above:

Sit calmly in gatherings and speak proportionately. Listen attentively to those who speak about good without displaying amazement or asking them to repeat themselves and refrain from telling jokes or funny stories.

Do not speak about how impressed you are of your children, servants, means of transportation or weapons. Beware of drawing ‘The Eye’ upon yourself, for if you display your admiration for these things, the foolish would desire them. They would then make up stories about you and question your intellect.

Do not behave like women, and do not be as subservient as a servant. Do not puff up your beard or pat it down to hide it. Refrain from trimming it and pulling out grey hairs. Do not excessively use Kuhl and oils/lotion, use Kuhl occasionally.

Do not plead for your needs, and do not be demanding of your requests.

Do not tell your family how much wealth you have, let alone others. For if they perceive it to be little, you would be trivial in their eyes, and if it were a lot, you wouldn’t gain their satisfaction through it anyway. Discipline them without using force and be lenient to them without being weak and do not mock your servants.

If you were to ever argue, be respectful and safeguard yourself from your own ignorance. Avoid being hasty and contemplate over your argument. Show the judge your forbearance, refrain from pointing a lot, shuffling your feet, reddening your face and sweating. If you are insulted by your adversary, be forbearing and only speak when calm.

To be continued...

**Al-Mu'minah** · **Re: A Righteous Predecessor Advises his Son -** 04-14-2007

When you make a promise, abide by it, and when you speak be truthful. Do not raise your voice when arguing, as if you were debating with a deaf person, but at the same time do not be hushed like a mute, and select the best of speech, saying things that are accepted.

If you relate something that you have heard, refer it to the initial speaker. Beware of telling atrocious tales that are disliked by the hearts and cause the skin to tremble, and refrain from being repetitive such as saying ‘yes, yes’, ‘no, no’, ‘hurry up, hurry up’ and so on.

When you practice ablution, scrub your palms well and place glasswort (a strong-pleasant smelling succulent shrub) in your mouth as you would when using Siwaak (brushing your teeth). Do not clear your throat into the wash basin. Remove water from your mouth gently, do not spit it so as not to accidentally spray the closest person to you.

Do not take a bite from a meal and then replace the rest [when eating with others from the same dish], indeed this is disliked. Do not frequently as for drinks at the kings table, and do not fiddle with bones. Do not fault anything that is offered to you at the table by saying things such as there is not enough seasoning, vegetables or honey and so on.

Do not grasp onto your money like a miser, and do not spend it like a foolish deluded spendthrift. Know what obligatory rights others have over your wealth, the sacredness of friends, do not be dependant on people and they would be in need of you. Know that greed leads to an attribute [i.e would lead it be one of your attributes], and desire, as is it said, knocks at the door of slavery/servitude [i.e would lead you to be subservient to others]. Tasting it may prevent you from tasting a lot of other meals.

Being self-sufficient is an immense treasure/wealth and an honorable mannerism. A man knowing himself/his standing…

To be continued…

**Al-Mu'minah** · 07:45 AM

“My son, indeed a man’s wife is his home/livelihood, he has no life with other than her, so when you decide to take a wife, inquire about her family, for indeed good roots yield sweet fruits.

Know that women differ greatly, more so than the fingers of your hand, so shield yourself from those amongst them who are naturally prone to cause harm. Amongst them are those who are self conceited…”

To be continued...

**Abdul Baari** · **Re: A Righteous Predecessor Advises his Son -** 04-14-2007

Some nice posts, Jazakallah Khair everyone for sharing

Helena · **Re: A Righteous Predecessor Advises His Son -** 06-11-2007

mashAllah.....very beneficial thread...

...

def is a wake up call for the ummah..to seek the truth....inshAllah...

jazaks for sharing!

Khayal · **Re: A Righteous Predecessor Advises His Son -** 11-27-2007

It is very beneficial to read, jazaak ALLAH khay for sharing.

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Al-Mu'minah Super Moderator Status: Offline Posts: 5,132 Reputation: 21581 Rep Power: 52 Join Date: Jan 2005 Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	A Righteous Predecessor Advises his Son - 08-04-2006 A Righteous Predecessor Advises his Son Al Khataab ibn al Ma’laa al Makhzumee al Qurashee Mohammad ibn al Mundhir ibn sa’eed related to me that Abu Hatim Muhammad ibn Idrees al Hanthalee said…that al Khataab ibn al Ma’laa al Makhzumee al Qurashee advised his son saying: My son, fear Allaah and be obedient to Him. Avoid sinning by following His Sunnah and teachings in order to rectify your faults and attain bliss, indeed nothing whatsoever is hidden from Allaah. I put some directions together and drew out a plan for you. If you memorize, understand and act upon them, you would fill the eyes of kings and even the vagabond would be obedient to you. You would continue to be needed and honoured, people would continue to be in need of what you posses. So obey your father, suffice yourself with his advice and open your mind and heart to it. Beware of excessive talking, joking, laughing and fooling around with brothers, indeed this removes respect / esteem and causes disputes. It is upon you to be tranquil and calm without having pride, which may be attributed to you, and without being arrogant, which may be said about you. Treat both friends and enemies pleasantly, prevent theri harms without putting them down or holding them in high regard. Take the middle path in all your affairs, for indeed the best affairs are the intermediary ones [i.e. between extremism and excessive lenience]. Speak little, spread the Salaam, and walk firmly and purposefully. Do not stamp your feet, drag your tail [i.e: Isbaal], raise your neck, robes or be conceited. Do not look around too much, stop at crowds or linger in the market. Do not debate a lot and do not get into arguments with the foolish. When you speak, keep it short and limit joking. If you sit, cross your legs and avoid interlocking your fingers, playing with your beard, ring or sword handle. Do not clean between your teeth [while sitting in public], pick your nose or busy yourself with chasing flies away. Do not spy on others and so forth, which would cause people to belittle or insult you. Your gatherings should be calm and your speech should be balanced… To be continued __________________

	(#2 (permalink))
shariq_0189 LI Senior Member Status: Offline Posts: 213 Reputation: 230 Rep Power: 15 Join Date: Jan 2006 Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: A Righteous Predecessor Advises his Son - 08-04-2006 mashallah thts a nice post...all thos things are nreally important. __________________ When the sky is rent asunder, and it becomes red like ointment: Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny. (Al Quran 055.37 - 055.38)

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syilla not trying hard enuf Status: Offline Posts: 4,471 Reputation: 13218 Rep Power: 33 Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: malaysia Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: A Righteous Predecessor Advises his Son - 08-11-2006 jazakallah khayr... but it is a good reminder....

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Al-Mu'minah Super Moderator Status: Offline Posts: 5,132 Reputation: 21581 Rep Power: 52 Join Date: Jan 2005 Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: A Righteous Predecessor Advises his Son - 04-14-2007 Continued from the above: Sit calmly in gatherings and speak proportionately. Listen attentively to those who speak about good without displaying amazement or asking them to repeat themselves and refrain from telling jokes or funny stories. Do not speak about how impressed you are of your children, servants, means of transportation or weapons. Beware of drawing ‘The Eye’ upon yourself, for if you display your admiration for these things, the foolish would desire them. They would then make up stories about you and question your intellect. Do not behave like women, and do not be as subservient as a servant. Do not puff up your beard or pat it down to hide it. Refrain from trimming it and pulling out grey hairs. Do not excessively use Kuhl and oils/lotion, use Kuhl occasionally. Do not plead for your needs, and do not be demanding of your requests. Do not tell your family how much wealth you have, let alone others. For if they perceive it to be little, you would be trivial in their eyes, and if it were a lot, you wouldn’t gain their satisfaction through it anyway. Discipline them without using force and be lenient to them without being weak and do not mock your servants. If you were to ever argue, be respectful and safeguard yourself from your own ignorance. Avoid being hasty and contemplate over your argument. Show the judge your forbearance, refrain from pointing a lot, shuffling your feet, reddening your face and sweating. If you are insulted by your adversary, be forbearing and only speak when calm. To be continued... __________________

	(#5 (permalink))
Al-Mu'minah Super Moderator Status: Offline Posts: 5,132 Reputation: 21581 Rep Power: 52 Join Date: Jan 2005 Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: A Righteous Predecessor Advises his Son - 04-14-2007 When you make a promise, abide by it, and when you speak be truthful. Do not raise your voice when arguing, as if you were debating with a deaf person, but at the same time do not be hushed like a mute, and select the best of speech, saying things that are accepted. If you relate something that you have heard, refer it to the initial speaker. Beware of telling atrocious tales that are disliked by the hearts and cause the skin to tremble, and refrain from being repetitive such as saying ‘yes, yes’, ‘no, no’, ‘hurry up, hurry up’ and so on. When you practice ablution, scrub your palms well and place glasswort (a strong-pleasant smelling succulent shrub) in your mouth as you would when using Siwaak (brushing your teeth). Do not clear your throat into the wash basin. Remove water from your mouth gently, do not spit it so as not to accidentally spray the closest person to you. Do not take a bite from a meal and then replace the rest [when eating with others from the same dish], indeed this is disliked. Do not frequently as for drinks at the kings table, and do not fiddle with bones. Do not fault anything that is offered to you at the table by saying things such as there is not enough seasoning, vegetables or honey and so on. Do not grasp onto your money like a miser, and do not spend it like a foolish deluded spendthrift. Know what obligatory rights others have over your wealth, the sacredness of friends, do not be dependant on people and they would be in need of you. Know that greed leads to an attribute [i.e would lead it be one of your attributes], and desire, as is it said, knocks at the door of slavery/servitude [i.e would lead you to be subservient to others]. Tasting it may prevent you from tasting a lot of other meals. Being self-sufficient is an immense treasure/wealth and an honorable mannerism. A man knowing himself/his standing… To be continued… __________________

	(#6 (permalink))
Al-Mu'minah Super Moderator Status: Offline Posts: 5,132 Reputation: 21581 Rep Power: 52 Join Date: Jan 2005 Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: A Righteous Predecessor Advises his Son - 04-14-2007 “My son, indeed a man’s wife is his home/livelihood, he has no life with other than her, so when you decide to take a wife, inquire about her family, for indeed good roots yield sweet fruits. Know that women differ greatly, more so than the fingers of your hand, so shield yourself from those amongst them who are naturally prone to cause harm. Amongst them are those who are self conceited…” To be continued... __________________ Last edited by Al-Mu'minah; 01-11-2008 at 07:45 AM.

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Abdul Baari ان الحمد لله Status: Offline Posts: 3,803 Reputation: 18193 Rep Power: 36 Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Oblivion Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: A Righteous Predecessor Advises his Son - 04-14-2007 Some nice posts, Jazakallah Khair everyone for sharing __________________ وَٱتَّقُواْ يَوۡمً۬ا تُرۡجَعُونَ فِيهِ إِلَى ٱللَّهِ And guard yourselves against a day in which ye will be brought back to Allah.. [Surah Baqarah : Verse 281] A Forum Fisabeelillah...

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Helena Ummah Under 1 Banner Status: Offline Posts: 5,205 Reputation: 9279 Rep Power: 31 Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: as one ummah the burden we share inshAllah!!! Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: A Righteous Predecessor Advises His Son - 06-11-2007 mashAllah.....very beneficial thread... ... def is a wake up call for the ummah..to seek the truth....inshAllah... jazaks for sharing! __________________ All i hope is for my mums happiness.Shes my light.Shes my dunya.Her tears are my weakness.Her sadness breaks my heart.She is my mirror.A mirror that keeps me alive.Without her am nothing.shes my saaya.How can i leave her.I pray to Allah(swt) to keep me with her forever inshAllah.

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Khayal A tHoUgHt Status: Offline Posts: 4,712 Reputation: 11609 Rep Power: 37 Join Date: May 2005 Location: iN tHoUgHtS Gender: Way of Life: Muslim	Re: A Righteous Predecessor Advises His Son - 11-27-2007 It is very beneficial to read, jazaak ALLAH khay for sharing. __________________ Even a Smile is charity!