Sometimes I try to help my friend but then he points out my flaws, and I've come to realize I am a hypocrite. Sometimes I fall from my spiritual station during this changing period in my life and when I do bad things have happened.
Can someone give me some advice or has anyone gone through this before? How can I tell someone they shouldn't do this or that if I used to do that as well? Does going through it before help in understanding why a person would do it?
I want to spread the truth but I'm afraid of a few things:
- All my good friends know pretty much everything I've ever done.
- They would think I've gone crazy "religous" but they just don't understand the importance of Islam.
- I could get too prideful and think because I'm "better" I don't sin a lot and that's really bad, it's because of Allah's mercy I'm not in the grave now and it's because of him I even feel this way at all.
- Whenever I think I'm better or I see someone's mistakes I usually end up going though what they are and do the same thing (Reminds me of when I read about people that call other people Kafr but they're the real Kafrs)
- So some times I try to help a person and then I feel prideful and then I do the same bad thing and I turn out to be a hypocrite.
That's about it in a nutshell.
- Hate and Love people only to a certain degree because later you may love a perviously hated person and/or hate a previously loved person.
I'm trying to be patient through this time coming to this forum helps a lot
Its easy to know what wrong with others, I know exactly how you feel I look at other Muslims and often think that why dont they do this or that, then it would be better for them. I think what would be an idea for you, and i have started doing this is
take 5 seconds before you say anything, think about what your going to say to that person, examine your own actions/thoughts first, if they need cahnging then make intention to try to change them, then give the advice to the other person. That was youve made intention to change yourself as well as trying to help another brother
Dude, if your friends think you'll go 'crazy religious' when they don't understand the importance of Islam, how in the heck can they accuse you of being a hypocrite?
i think that this is a major crisis in school.
i just argues wid ma friend the oother day aout wearing scrves n she said dat it is not cmpulsory i was like... .
i tried to tell her but she said wearing scarves in the Uk is dangerous. i was like i wear a scarf but nofin appens to me!!!... but she still insisted.
i dunno how i can convince her dat wearin scarves is not a prob in dis country.
I would say sis, that until she has proof of it then she cannot claim it is harmful to her. Im sure she travels by bus/car or crosses roads by walking every day. More people are harmed in these kind of accidents than wearing a scarf alhamdulillah.
Until she wants to wear a scarf she will continue to make excuses. Show her quraan proof and explain the benefits to her rather than just saying "its fardh" or "nothing happens to me" GIVE HER PROOF
Yea proof and clear logic WHY and rememberance of Allah and the fact that life is temporary is the only thing that saved me from not being Muslim. I had a friend (mashaAllah) that explained ALL of my misconceptions to me and my questions in a logical manner. Reason is what helped me it can probably help your friend to inshaAllah
The signs of a hypocrite are three: Whenever he speaks, he tells a lie; and whenever he promises, he breaks his promise; and whenever he is entrusted, he betrays (proves to be dishonest).
The way I see it is: if they don't listen to God, they aint gonna listen to you. So I let bygones be bygones - I'll leave the judging to the G-man upstairs. Get me dawgs?
Someone said to the Prophet, "Pray to God against the idolaters and curse them." The Prophet replied, "I have been sent to show mercy and have not been sent to curse." (Muslim)
Here are replies from another forums www.gawaher.com where someone posted a query similar to yours:
If you sincerely repented from a past sin, and asked Allah for Forgiveness, you should assume that you have been forgiven. You then have an insight into the incorrectness of that sin, with which you could be in a better position to do amr bil maarof nahee anil munkar (enjoining the good and forbidding the evil ).
None of us are without sin. We have all sinned at some stage or the other. Some big, and some small. The concept of not guiding others by someone who has not sinned is probably based on the statement by Jesus (on him be peace) where he indirectly stopped the stoning of an adultress. Christians have taken that statement as their main guidance and do not stop anybody from sinning. The result is a totally liberal society where sin is practiced openly by every one.
another reply:
Since enjoining the good and forbidding the evil is obligatory, you are obligated to do it regardless of what your condition is or what your status is concerning other obligations or sinfulness.
If you don't want to seem like a hypocrite, STOP doing the particular sin yourself!
Another reply:
If the forbidding evil is part of your sincere repentance then it is not "double standard", but if you tell your brother not to drink but in your home you push a whiskey bottle into your throat then you commit double standard.
The same counts with enjoining good. If you tell brother to give Sadaqa but you did not even pay your obligatory Zakatul-Amaal, yet, then it is double standard.
Committing sins does not free us from the obligation of forbidding evil and enjoining good.
Enjoining good and forbidding evil is performed if someone exposes the sin. If you do not forbid evil and enjoin good when the sin is made public then you this sin might corrupt the whole community and be harmful even for those who never had this sin in their minds.
A good way to forbid evil is to enjoin good. Allah knows best.
Salam
ANother reply:
think about it this way, I don't listen to music so I can tell people not listen to music, even though I did before, but if Allah forgives me after repenting (Insha'Allah) then I should go on spreading Da'wah telling people not to do evil, but you should always start with yourself then teach others, if you are a seriously bad person then I suggest you start with yourself first!
Sufyaan Thowri (Rahimahullah) was among the famous Imaams in the science of Hadeeth and Islamic law. He once mentioned that he was guilty of a sin due to which he was deprived of offering Tahajjud Salaah for five months.
When someone asked him as to what it was, he replied that he had once seen a man crying and thought that the man was a hypocrite.
Imagine the evil consequence of a sinful thought! Yet we say harsh things about people without even thinking twice. And, Allah forbid, if we have something against someone, we cross all limits in slandering him. We even turn his virtues into vices, and publicise and magnify his weaknesses if any.
I think you should focus only on obtaining the pleasure of Allah subhanahu wa taala and ask him to help you to preserve your good intentions. Who cares about what others will think
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coming to this forum helps a lot 
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