cynic...

It is unbeliable the pain we bring upon ourselves.


It does help to remember Allah(swt) can forgive all things.

salam sis,

oh gosh i know exactly what you mean and where your coming from....
i cant even try to explain and yes your right i cant be bothered to explain cos i think what is the point??

not only am i a cynic but have become very negative and pessimistic too... i think these 3 elements in one's way of thinking are like best friends.

i cannot rely upon anyone's words i do not trust anyone, i have been let down by nearly everyone my life and have just come to the point where i dont want any friends i distae myself away from everyone and i trust NO ONE except for my family. Alhumdullilah they are the only ones that keep my going i swear Wallah if it wasnt for them at this moment in time and through everything that i have been going through i really do think that i would have lost all hope in everything and everyone!!!

but when at times it gets really really bad i kind of think to myself that maybe its due to my lack of imaan, sometimes its like a rollercoaster ride with me i have good days and bad days and i know that in my bad days its when shaytaan gets the best of me, so now i try as hard as i can to be more optimistic and positive and place all my trust in Allah swt. and i think that that is what people like us need to focus on sis,

the past is the past, we need to let go in order to able to move forward by hanging on and dragging it to the present with us that is where we bring the pain and cause the pain to our own hearts and let it affect us as human beings and our characters and our lives.

After every hardship there is relief, after every hardship there is RELIEF, after one hardship there are 2 RELIEFS, i always read this ayah to remind myself that whatever has happened it will Insha'Allah get better and in the future things will be much much better, i guess where we fail is sabr which is the key to all things.

everytime we are hurt or a calamity befalls us it is for 2 reasons either it is due to what our own hands have earned or cos it is a test and we need to be strong and strive harder and harder to please Him. learn from our mistakes of the past but never let it reflect upon our present or future...

there are times when i have to literally BITE my tongue... being blunt and saying it how it is is one thing sis, but judging is another...
and if you really and truly think about it we have no right and neither are in a position to judge i do it all the time myself and am finding it really hard to control my tongue...

But i always get reminded that only Allah swt knows what is in the breasts of His slaves,
and what their true intentions are... if a person is lying then the truth always prevails and they are not doing you any wrong but sinning themselves, no soul bares the burden of another souls sins always remember that.

so to judge others du to your past experience with other people is not right cos we are humans and there are imes where we are wrong with our judgements...
so this is my advice to ME and you! lol
treat people kindly and nicely even the unkind, even the liars and the untrsutworthy ones lets do it for the sake of Allah swt and whatever they do in return let them be and lets leave them to Allah swt to judge.

let us put our trusts in Him and with that always in mind look forward to a better present, it wont always be this way, life will not always be gloomy and dark it will get brighter and better Insha'Allah, so lets bury the past so deep that it will be impossible to dig it out and let go of all the pain and the grudges and resentment that we hold inside us, the doubts and judgements due to our past.

Lets make dua for Him to heal us and help us through our hardsip and make it easy for us and give us sabr and reward us for it Insha'Allah with something much much much much better.

i hope it has helped you in some ways knowing that your not the only one sis, so dont be in despair kick shaytaan right in the butt, right now as i am talking to you i have had a very bad day so bad that due to the way i am lately i have missed my salah all day I pray that Allah swt forgives me but this is what i mean, it slowly slowly eats you away and we need to be STRONG and FIGHT BACK!!!

if you ever need to talk please dont hesitate to PM me.


Wa salam.

Wow you are a b_____.

I'm sorry you're going throgh so much sis, life sucks, it truly does. No advice from me, not good at it.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender

Wow you are a b_____.

I'm sorry you're going throgh so much sis, life sucks, it truly does. No advice from me, not good at it.

I dont' think so... It is only our attitude to the life that makes it "suck." As long as someone has the wrong attitude, he or she will find that life sucks. But we can say that one faces trials all the time...

format_quote Originally Posted by Abdu-l-Majeed

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم





I dont' think so... It is only our attitude to the life that makes it "suck." As long as someone has the wrong attitude, he or she will find that life sucks. But we can say that one faces trials all the time...

To me life does suck, maybe because my life sucks health wise,

Trials are good, I've learnt to live with em now, I guess everyone has to

Wheres thread starter gone?

you know i was so close to writing a huge reply


but then i thought "wat am i gnna say to make a cynic feel better?!"

AND THEN i thought "what the hek this is sevgi not some cynic!!!"

so there you have it, you AINT no cynic! you CAN trust good muslim people! sure be careful thats all good but also be WISE in who you trust.


oh final advice:

NEVER EXPECT ANYTHING FROM ANYONE!... and you'll be as happy as me

ok..

woodrow..for once in my life on Li..what you said actually hurt me..i dont bring anything upon myself.my attitude is the by-product of a life time of stuff i dare not explain.

sis eeman..i appreciate your post very much...i know that at times, my lack of Iman makes everything worse......but in general..its hardly my fault..and...for some reason you harped on the idea that i was judging people...i dont do that...i judge my situation..and i just know that noone will get it...

anon gender...i did say ï dont want to be labelled a b-word..you didnt have to label me as one...

and life does not suck. i love life as much as i hate death. living is my passion. both of my soul and my nafs...i try to take them in the halal sphere.

bro ibnabdulhakim..as usual ur post slapped me...

after everything everyone wrote here i thought about it a lil more...am i a cynic..? no...not now..bt im becoming one...i know it..and my counsellor saod so aswel...why do i have a counsellor? lol...i dont...my frend forced me to go so that i could stop blaming myself for the things in my life...i went twice and realised it was full of crap..

only Allah can help me. my aim in life is to live...but the way people hurt me..have hurted me..and the way i thus hurt myself is turning me into a cynic. thats why im here...i love humans....all people....i cant explain it....i love everyone..and never think bad of anyone...even those who have ruined me and every part of my existence...coz i try to understand them...i try to understand Allahs master plan behind it all...and sometimes i see the wisdom...and sometimes..im so hurt...i see nothing but pain....

i aspire to be the taker.....i have always been the giver....thats why i expect so much from people...i just want a lil appreciation...sometimes i expect from people what i think Allah is going to reward me with...i dno...i know Allah undertsands me..i know he is gonna reward me....i just dno wen...but i pray that it is before i am too cynical to see it...because im getting sick of trying to understand....trying to understand what is happening around me...trying to understand how to work things out..trying to fix the wrongs of others...trying to...i dno...

slapped in a bad way? :S sry


i just reckon we should always give without expecting and we shoulD forget everything we give...

always forget our own good, remember your bad..

Wow Sis , You actually Made Me Emotional With Your Post
All I can Say Is You Are In my Prayers and You are Not Alone............

sis you totally got me wrong i didnt mean judging people in the aspect as in judging them to be something individually i am not so good with explaining myself at times i guess... i meant that we should let our past do the judgement for our present and future.

and anon it doesnt make one a b word.

Perhaps you should stop expecting from others. I mean, I don't expect a thing from anyone (other than parents) and I'm fine with it. But, if someone does give me something (like say a pen or some ladoo) then I'm over the moon, lol.

Just don't expect anything and be content with what you have. Also, remember that you as a person influence others around you to an extent they will never likely to admit. Everyone learns something from someone else - so don't doubt yourself. I speak from experience here - I've many, many cousins and a lot of the time they get on my nerves. But I know that me being part of their lives helps THEM grow; they learn a lot about how to be people from me. So I let it be.

In other words: don't worry, be happy. And if needs be, reflect on the times were you have helped someone - maybe made them smile or something.

format_quote Originally Posted by sevgi

ok..

woodrow..for once in my life on Li..what you said actually hurt me..i dont bring anything upon myself.my attitude is the by-product of a life time of stuff i dare not explain.

sis eeman..i appreciate your post very much...i know that at times, my lack of Iman makes everything worse......but in general..its hardly my fault..and...for some reason you harped on the idea that i was judging people...i dont do that...i judge my situation..and i just know that noone will get it...

anon gender...i did say ï dont want to be labelled a b-word..you didnt have to label me as one...

and life does not suck. i love life as much as i hate death. living is my passion. both of my soul and my nafs...i try to take them in the halal sphere.

bro ibnabdulhakim..as usual ur post slapped me...

after everything everyone wrote here i thought about it a lil more...am i a cynic..? no...not now..bt im becoming one...i know it..and my counsellor saod so aswel...why do i have a counsellor? lol...i dont...my frend forced me to go so that i could stop blaming myself for the things in my life...i went twice and realised it was full of crap..

only Allah can help me. my aim in life is to live...but the way people hurt me..have hurted me..and the way i thus hurt myself is turning me into a cynic. thats why im here...i love humans....all people....i cant explain it....i love everyone..and never think bad of anyone...even those who have ruined me and every part of my existence...coz i try to understand them...i try to understand Allahs master plan behind it all...and sometimes i see the wisdom...and sometimes..im so hurt...i see nothing but pain....

i aspire to be the taker.....i have always been the giver....thats why i expect so much from people...i just want a lil appreciation...sometimes i expect from people what i think Allah is going to reward me with...i dno...i know Allah undertsands me..i know he is gonna reward me....i just dno wen...but i pray that it is before i am too cynical to see it...because im getting sick of trying to understand....trying to understand what is happening around me...trying to understand how to work things out..trying to fix the wrongs of others...trying to...i dno...

Hun...youve made me a bit sad.....the best advice is like people have sed , do not expect anything in return and you will never be disappointed but that is easier sed than done.

When we do something for some1, no matter how strong our imaan is, no matter how many times we tell ourselve that our act was completely selfless, theres that tiny part of us that will always be hoepful for something, anything, in return. and thats where we end up hurting our selves........doesnt man see that he destroys himself with his own hands , by letting his emotions go?


you have started to pick out other peoples faults.........i can relate to that, i do that often and feel TERRIBLE afterwards , and then i end up doing it again!

you shud have posted anonymously, then you cud have given us the full picture and we would have been able to give you specific advice. but you can still do that and trust us not to judge you, you can trust us, like you sed we dont even no u and then you can delete your post afterwards.

no i have no issues with sharing my story. its just too complex.

basically..i cant help but 'expect' from people...coz its inate...the people i expect things from are my parents etc..it hurts me to live knowing that they havent played their roles...and continue to ruin my life.

i was born two months premo coz my parents couldnt stop fighting. they wanted to get divorced but they found out i was on the way. they stayed togetehr coz of me.

my mum locked herself in a room since i can remember.never mothered me.never hugged.never cried. never put me to sleep. never spoke. never stood up for me.never will.she has and does tell me she hates me.

my dad bashed me when i was still one month premo. never stopped. i became his toy. he became obsessed with controlling me. i was the only thing that was scared of him. i still am the only thing he has. the only one left beside him coz i am the only one both weak and strong enuf to stay beside him.

i left home aged 16. i had to.i worked so hard not to hate people. to smile every morning. to tell myself there were worse situations.but my dad continued to exert his authority in ways which please his evil disposition. i try to understand him. i try to love him. i try to love everyone.and i do...i guess.

but it hurts.like...to struggle through life.all alone.sometimes ur Imaan just isnt strong enuf to hold to the hope that Allah is with you.im still young.sometimes i wish i could complain about the trivial things which girls my age complain about.i i wish i could just kick back one day and be free. but its impossible. the moment i am alone...my past haunts me. i have to struggle thru life, trying to fix and forget and forgive all that has been done to me. but it is still happening........so i am trying t undo things which are begin done at the same time. as i climb that ladder of hope...they knock me down.i cant explain...its too complex. everyone has always used me. my dad against my mum and everyone else.

i dnt wana care anymore.i want to be carefree...for just a day maybe.to laugh like nothing is wrong.like i am exactly the same as anyone else. im sick of trembling thru life....shaking at the thought of my father....shuddering at the idea of him seeing me being normal....cringing every time he calls. im sick of lying to him coz even the most benial of things transform into fuel for his hate fests.he vomits hate on me every morning...every night...and in between, when he cant catch me....i try to grow.

when i come home to visit my mum and siblings...i just want to feel accepted. but all i get is a blank stare from her...and a laboured "when are you going back?" my housemates call their mums..get recipies, advice, share jokes and laughs....ive been away from home for 5 years and my mum has never once called me.i dont exist for her.i taught myself to cook nd clean.my housemates teased "didnt ur mum teach you anything?!" i was 16...and no she didnt.i'd get sick...and all i wanted was someone to care...i dno...ur just so vulnerable wen ur sick...

these are little things...which are just on my mind now. if i told you the serious stuff..i'd have to kill u all.its just my dad. his abuse is potent.and i hate everyone coz of him...coz he hates me with such passion.i try to convince myself that im not disgusting...but i am.i know i am.i know that all that he says is true.but i try so hard to be a good person. i never wanted to be the way i am. i wish i was smart and hard working and all.and i think i am...but he doesnt. he denies me of any good attribute i just mite have....and he says he knows me better than i know myself...perhaps he is right.

im gna shut the hell up now.i have an essay due in a few hours...havent started. i cant...the moment im alone with a blank page...it all comes flying back...i'll never forget the little sevgi.i was so lonely you guys.i was so small.tiny.trembling.i'd walk slanted on rainy days so that the puddled water wouldnt seep through th eholes in my shoes.futile...i'll never forget my sore toes from wearing shoes i'd outgrown. my older bro left wen he was 10.i was so alone.

he is so gna burn in hell.

sevgi ... your gonna hate me for saying this but... i reckon if you get married you'd get that esteem boost and much needed care you long for.

is there a reason your not marrying as of yet>? i really think it will change your life for the better inshaAllaah..

also if u have friends u shud stik by them.. they can be like family too.


finally, you might find this distressing and im sure its probably one hellish situation, but i know and have abided by people in similar conditions (obviously different situation) but the hell was there... Allah tests whom he wills with what he knows best... your strong


your amazingly strong mashaAllaah, admirable really..

what I can advise is increase your deen. I've had problems myself; eating disorder, depression, self-harm... it's all pathetic. I've increased my deen through the grace of Allah SWT and I know some people say we don't understand the extent of what you're going through etc but I've been through it sis. You don't need a label of someone who has problems. You don't. The only problem you have is weak iman. Well that was my problem though I didn't realise it at the time. I thought my deen was pretty strong. Boy was I wrong. Go to a conference, a gathering of muslims. It's an effective deen injection and it gives you so much inner peace. SubhanAllah it's amazing.

Abu al-‘Abbas ‘Abdullah bin ‘Abbas, radiyallahu anhuma, reported: One day I was behind the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wasallam, and he said to me

"O young man, I shall teach you some words [of advice] : Be mindful of Allah, and Allah will protect you. Be mindful of Allah, and you will find Him in front of you. If you (have need to) ask, ask of Allah; and if you seek help, seek help from Allah. Know that even if the Nation (or the whole community) were to gather together to benefit you with something, they would not benefit you with anything except that which Allah has already recorded for you, and that if they gather together to harm you with something, they would not be able to harm you with anything except that which Allah has already recorded against you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried."
[Al-Tirmidhi relates this and says: It is a good, genuine Hadith]

In a version other than that of al-Tirmidhi it reads:

"..Be mindful of Allah, you will find Him before you. Get to know Allah in prosperity and He will know you in adversity. Know that what has passed you by was not going to befall you; and that what has befallen you was not going to pass you by. And know that victory comes with patience, relief with affliction, and ease with hardship."

Sevgi ....... Sevgi....what means Sevgi?? It means Love they give you the name Love but dont love you, I wonder Why ..
how about visiting your mom more often and try to make a band with her ,
and I know Its Hard , I realy Know ....
But No Matter What happens A Mom Will have ALWAYS a Feeling For her Child , No matter What Happens , you just have that awaken that feeling more
,Try To explain your problems With Her Alone and cry with her or something ..start all over again with her cause I think She is the key to you happiness.
And Be Patient....
you are In My Prayers....

Allaha Güven , Cünkü Unutma Allah Kullarini hic Umutsuz Birakmaz