I have a very big responsibility on my shoulders and sometimes i feel the only way to get away from it is to run away and never look back.:enough!:
My mother and father split about 10 yrs ago. My siblings and I grew up with our father. Although rocky and living in a westernized country, I'd say we turned out to be alright. Alhamdulilah none of us did anything majorly haram like girls and boys nowadays.
anyways I got a job in a corporate bank, see am not a college gradute and i should be thankful that i have this oppurtunity. It pays well and am helping my father with the bills 100%. I want to quit and move with my mother who recently opened a store. We don't live near each other, she is about 4 hrs plane ride away.
Alhamdulilah i am very fortunate to have what i have, however i really want to quit because with more money comes more problem. I love my father and i plan on helping him financial once things get going with my mother's store inshallah. It isn't going to be easy trying to explain this to my father because of his animosity towards my mother but she has noone to help her with her store.
As a daughter, regardless of the previous decision that were made on her behalf, she is my mother and if her own daughter isn't going to help her in her time of need who will.
any advice or ideas is greatly appreciated, I feel wrong for doing this but am still thinking of this idea.
Explain this to your father just like you have done to us........... Tell him how you feel and that you would like to spend time with your mother, his/her problems should not be a barrier in the way of your relationship with your mother............ I am SURE that when you talk things through with your father then he will be understanding. InshaAllah.
Jazakullah kheyr Zahida, but my father isn't the understanding type. It's either his way or no way because he is the parent and there isn't any reasoning there. It's easier said than done.
I mean don't get me wrong he isn't a bad guy nor father but when it come to that topic, it's best if we just shut our mouths and go along with what he says.
I once said i was moving to my mother when my father and I got into an altercationm he told me that i was disobedient to him and that if he dies tomorrow to no come to his grave. For that sake, i stayed with him.
I have a very big responsibility on my shoulders and sometimes i feel the only way to get away from it is to run away and never look back.:enough!:
My mother and father split about 10 yrs ago. My siblings and I grew up with our father. Although rocky and living in a westernized country, I'd say we turned out to be alright. Alhamdulilah none of us did anything majorly haram like girls and boys nowadays.
anyways I got a job in a corporate bank, see am not a college gradute and i should be thankful that i have this oppurtunity. It pays well and am helping my father with the bills 100%. I want to quit and move with my mother who recently opened a store. We don't live near each other, she is about 4 hrs plane ride away.
Alhamdulilah i am very fortunate to have what i have, however i really want to quit because with more money comes more problem. I love my father and i plan on helping him financial once things get going with my mother's store inshallah. It isn't going to be easy trying to explain this to my father because of his animosity towards my mother but she has noone to help her with her store.
As a daughter, regardless of the previous decision that were made on her behalf, she is my mother and if her own daughter isn't going to help her in her time of need who will.
any advice or ideas is greatly appreciated, I feel wrong for doing this but am still thinking of this idea.
If there should be any reason to quit, it should be because you are working in a bank, which is haram. If this is an Islamic bank, then you're most likely OK, but if it's a bank that trades in riba (interest), then there is a problem there. That's the only advice I can give at the moment.
If there should be any reason to quit, it should be because you are working in a bank, which is haram. If this is an Islamic bank, then you're most likely OK, but if it's a bank that trades in riba (interest), then there is a problem there. That's the only advice I can give at the moment.
I do not work in the area where they manage or do interests. I work in the processing of amounts sent in by clients that have business with us. If i worked directly with that i would see as to why that is haraam.
someone once told me that just because i work in a bank it's haram because the money they are using to pay me is from the interest or profit the bank makes.
someone else tols me since i don't deal with interests directly then i am not doing anyting haraam.
subhanAllah, Bro you gotta talk to a sheikh about this oh: ! He'll be able to guide you through the matter inshAllah
Assalamu Alaikum
Agreed. There are some disagreements between scholars as to what exactly one is allowed to do for a job in a prohibited company. The majority of opinions I have read say that you can't work in a bank at all, but Allahu 'alim.
Please do as much research as you can on this. You will most likely need to consult resources online because there are not too many imams out there qualified on the fiqh of Islamic finance and the prohibition of riba.
I am also in the process of finding out whether or not my job is haram or not (I work as an auditor in an accounting firm). Nobody that I know is qualified to answer my question, and I have yet to find conclusive evidence online to support one way over the other.
Have you prayed the Istikara (sp?) prayer to seek guidance from Allah SWT?
Ive briefly studied the fiqh of business transactions and the sheikh, sheikh Tawfique, he said your not even allowed to clean the floor of a bank, its totally haram because banks make their money through interest. So they pay you that money which is considered filth.
....and another thing which he said which scared alot of people, he said tell the people who deal with interest that their prayers are not accepted, their fast isnt accepted, their zakah isnt accepted...how can it be when they are at war with Allah?
Allah knows best.
and as for asking the question if you go onto the alkauthar forum into the 'real deal' section and post your question inshaAllah the sheikh will give a reply....
and whatever you do keep in mind Dunya which is acquired by harming ones Deen is devoid of goodness no matter how great the gain as quoted by Imam Malik.
May Allah put barakah in our rizk!
...And resort to patience and prayer for help. Truly prayer is burdensome for all except the devout... [2:45]
...Be watchful over the prayers, and over praying with the utmost excellence, and stand before Allah as would utterly obedient servants...[2:283]
and as for asking the question if you go onto the alkauthar forum into the 'real deal' section and post your question inshaAllah the sheikh will give a reply....
In Islam, your mother's status is higher 3x and your father comes in 4th place. It doesn't matter if he is a good or bad guy, if he doesn't let you visit your mom (and she is not of bad character) then he has no reason to deny you this. He needs to put his self-fish hatred aside and let you live your life. If he can't do that then talk to a sheikh and see if you can go visit without even telling your father and leave a letter for him. If he cries about it later and throws a fit like a 2yr old then too bad for him because Islam doesn't bend to narrow minded people.
As far so bills are concerned, it's his responsibility to take care of his household, you are not required to work. that is the islamic way. If you do help him then it is out of your genorisity and caring. And as for bank job, it's best to stay way from companies whose income is based on riba. You are being paid with that haraam money whether you do riba urself or clean their toilets only.
subhanAllah, Bro you gotta talk to a sheikh about this oh: ! He'll be able to guide you through the matter inshAllah
Assalamu Alaikum
This is ukhti not a bro.
Yeah, I'm with Islamirama on this one. Your duty is to your mother first. Your father has the duty to provide for his wife and daughters, not to put them to work for the sake of the family. But it seems like he didn't "put you to work," but that you are helping out from the goodness in your heart.
I know you love your father and you were raised by him these past ten years. But I can also tell that you know what you have to do. You know you have to help your mother.
Show him the hadith about mothers and cry in front of him. Let him see how much it hurts you to leave him, but he should be proud of you that you put your duty to Allah before anything else. If not now, then InshaAllah someday he will understand.
Just because your parents didn't make it together doesn't mean that you have to pick sides. And even if you did, you are obligated to your mother anyway.
Be honest with him, sister. You have clear Islamic authority supporting you, and your father can't argue with that.
Hmmm i know what you mean. Just for the sake of peace you have been an obedient daughter and done as he has requested, i do understand how difficult all this must be as you are torn between the love of both your parents. However little one your mother also has rights and i feel that your father is abusing his parenthood by making silly comments like when i die don't blah blah blah..........
This is also emotional blackmail. It seems to me that the only one who can decide what to do is you............ You live with your father and know him better........... What is your relationship like with your mother........
Little one we all sympathise with your dilemma and can only make dua that Allah guides you and eases your difficulty. Why don't you try to pray Istikhaara and see what happens InshaAllah Allah will Bless you and guide you. Ameen.
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
Jazakullah kheyr Zahida, but my father isn't the understanding type. It's either his way or no way because he is the parent and there isn't any reasoning there. It's easier said than done.
I mean don't get me wrong he isn't a bad guy nor father but when it come to that topic, it's best if we just shut our mouths and go along with what he says.
I once said i was moving to my mother when my father and I got into an altercationm he told me that i was disobedient to him and that if he dies tomorrow to no come to his grave. For that sake, i stayed with him.
I really appreciate all the advice you all have given me. I really have a platefull to think of. My thinking has changed a bit and inshallah i will make a decision that is good to both my parents and inshallah me as well.
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Explain this to your father just like you have done to us........... Tell him how you feel and that you would like to spend time with your mother, his/her problems should not be a barrier in the way of your relationship with your mother............ I am SURE that when you talk things through with your father then he will be understanding. InshaAllah.
Assalamu caleykum Brothers and sisters.
oh: ! He'll be able to guide you through the matter inshAllah
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