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Marraige problem

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    J3FR's Avatar Limited Member
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    Marraige problem

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    Sallam,
    I am new so sorry if posted in the wrong forum.

    The situation

    I have had my eye on this girl in uni for a long time, and we became good friends, and I think I am falling in love with her. however, she is bengali and I am arab and so my parents will never in a million years agree to support me and will probably disown me or something worse if I told them this. what am I gonna do? I know that her parents would probably agree if my parents personally go and ask them for their daughters hand because the girl knows me very well that i am a good muslim and so on. this summer we are planning to go home to the middle east and i suspect my parents got some girl they are planning to hook me up with. I know they can never force me however what is more important, my parents happyness (obeying them and and marrying the girl they choose) or my happyness?
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    'Abd-al Latif's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Re: Marraige problem



    The problem is, in Islam a guy and girl are not 'friends'. This relationship is haram and has caused you to feel for this girl without legally being married to her. The Prophet said that when a man and woman are alone, the third present is shaytan who tries to cause fitnah between the two.
    Marraige problem

    And verily for everything that a slave loses there is a substitute, but the one who loses Allah will never find anything to replace Him.”
    [Related by Ibn al-Qayyim in ad-Dâ' wad-Dawâ Fasl 49]


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    Re: Marraige problem


    Well first of try to make a list of good things that sister has. Summarize it in a few sentences and then try to persuade your mother first. If she doesn't answer yes. I think you should leave her. If it's a no from your parents, then it's a no from Allah meaning it's haaram. But in life always remember that your parents care and only want yourbest. Hope it works out and if it doesn't hope you find an alternative.
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    Re: Marraige problem

    Firstly the relationship you have at the moment is Haraam.
    As a good muslim you should know this.

    You got to act quick, speak to your parents, for if you dont ask the answer will always be a no. Tell your parents how you feel and that you are happy with this girl. speak of your hapiness and assure them that you mean them no harm or disrespect by choosing her over their wishes.

    And if this doesnt work, then obey them and show disregard for your own happiness.

    And the rest will happen for the Best
    Allah Knows Best...
    Peace Out!!!
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    Dawud_uk's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Marraige problem

    format_quote Originally Posted by J3FR View Post
    Sallam,
    I am new so sorry if posted in the wrong forum.

    The situation

    I have had my eye on this girl in uni for a long time, and we became good friends, and I think I am falling in love with her. however, she is bengali and I am arab and so my parents will never in a million years agree to support me and will probably disown me or something worse if I told them this. what am I gonna do? I know that her parents would probably agree if my parents personally go and ask them for their daughters hand because the girl knows me very well that i am a good muslim and so on. this summer we are planning to go home to the middle east and i suspect my parents got some girl they are planning to hook me up with. I know they can never force me however what is more important, my parents happyness (obeying them and and marrying the girl they choose) or my happyness?
    akhi,

    first of all your relationship with this girl is haram, it is not allowed to be in such friendships for precisely the reasons you show us all.

    2ndly your parents objections are asabiyyah which is forbidden, so you do not have to please them in a matter which is forbidden in islam, there is no obedience to the creation that is in disobedience to the creator.

    3rdly... be a man, bro you dont have to have permission of your parents to marry, you are a man not a woman so be a man, if you want to marry then marry.

    you are already doing something haram so either make it halal, at the risk of upsetting your parents or break off this friendship which is forbidden for you.

    Marraige problem

    Abu Abdillah

    Submitting to none but Allah
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