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  1. #1
    Array sevgi's Avatar
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    Marriage: muslim girl, non-muslim guy (OP)




    I ask this question humbly. I really know nothing on the topic.

    What is the basis behind the ruling that a muslim woman cannot marry a non-muslim guy. Is it in the Quran or hadeeth? Is it due to practical reasons or faith based ones?

    I have a senario:

    Theres a non-muslim guy who is very open minded. He loves Islam so much that he wouldn't have an issue converting if it werent for his extremely non-islam family, ie, they believe that if a muslim enters the kitchen, all the food turns poisonous. He has faith, that is, he believes in all 6 pillars of iman. He practices some of the islamic practices etc...but he cannot convert and doesnt feel the need to convert as he feels in tune with islam as it is. He says that he wouldnt have an issue living like a muslim.

    Could a muslim woman marry him? What bad could he be to her or their kids?

    My humble salams.
    Marriage: muslim girl, non-muslim guy

    "'Cause I hear the whispered words
    In your masterpiece beautiful
    You speak the unspeakable through
    I love you too"

  2. #21
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    Re: Marriage: muslim girl, non-muslim guy

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    Quote Originally Posted by Light of Heaven View Post
    Unfortunately no explanation seems to be enough for me, when I look at that verse in my previous post..

    I dont understand sister, would you clarify what you mean please?

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    Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн's Avatar
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    Re: Marriage: muslim girl, non-muslim guy

    I mean any explanation about a Muslim man being able to marry a Jew or Christian...in one aya it says not to marry the mushriks i.e. those that associate partners with Allah....eventually it might stick, but at the moment it doesnt.

    Allah knows best. I dont bother with it though incase the problem is in my understanding...it might just be "me."
    Marriage: muslim girl, non-muslim guy

    *Without Allah, without Islam, life would be meaningless. If I've ever learned patience, it's because of this. Alhamdulillah...*

  5. #23
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    Re: Marriage: muslim girl, non-muslim guy

    Quote Originally Posted by Light of Heaven View Post
    I mean any explanation about a Muslim man being able to marry a Jew or Christian...in one aya it says not to marry the mushriks i.e. those that associate partners with Allah....eventually it might stick, but at the moment it doesnt.

    Allah knows best. I dont bother with it though incase the problem is in my understanding...it might just be "me."


    I think that Dr. Phillips does a good job explaining it. My understanding is that a Muslim man may marry a chaste woman who is a Jew or Christian. The things that he would ask of her such as modest dress, not drinking alchol or eating pork, or mixing with men would not harm her religion in fact would be compatible with their religion. But a non Muslim man could ask things that would endanger the religion of her and her children. The Bible tells Christians not to yoke themselves to unbelivers (hence non Christians). Ideally I do believe that one should marry within their own faith as then it will be pretty clear what religion the children will be raised. I think marriages between a Muslim and women of the Book can work out and be good as long as it clear that the kids will be raised in the fathers faith. However I do wonder that while a Muslim man may love his non muslim wife, how will his family treat her and how will other muslim women treat her in general?

  6. #24
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    Re: Marriage: muslim girl, non-muslim guy

    Quote Originally Posted by sevgi View Post


    I ask this question humbly. I really know nothing on the topic.

    What is the basis behind the ruling that a muslim woman cannot marry a non-muslim guy. Is it in the Quran or hadeeth? Is it due to practical reasons or faith based ones?

    I have a senario:

    Theres a non-muslim guy who is very open minded. He loves Islam so much that he wouldn't have an issue converting if it werent for his extremely non-islam family, ie, they believe that if a muslim enters the kitchen, all the food turns poisonous. He has faith, that is, he believes in all 6 pillars of iman. He practices some of the islamic practices etc...but he cannot convert and doesnt feel the need to convert as he feels in tune with islam as it is. He says that he wouldnt have an issue living like a muslim.

    Could a muslim woman marry him? What bad could he be to her or their kids?

    My humble salams.
    Did you get your answer?
    Marriage: muslim girl, non-muslim guy

    O my Lord,

    if I worship you
    from fear of hell, burn me in hell.

    If I worship you
    from hope of Paradise, bar me from its gates.

    But if I worship you
    for yourself alone, grant me then the beauty of your Face.

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    Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн's Avatar
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    Re: Marriage: muslim girl, non-muslim guy

    Quote Originally Posted by ragdollcat1982 View Post
    I think that Dr. Phillips does a good job explaining it. My understanding is that a Muslim man may marry a chaste woman who is a Jew or Christian. The things that he would ask of her such as modest dress, not drinking alchol or eating pork, or mixing with men would not harm her religion in fact would be compatible with their religion. But a non Muslim man could ask things that would endanger the religion of her and her children. The Bible tells Christians not to yoke themselves to unbelivers (hence non Christians). Ideally I do believe that one should marry within their own faith as then it will be pretty clear what religion the children will be raised. I think marriages between a Muslim and women of the Book can work out and be good as long as it clear that the kids will be raised in the fathers faith. However I do wonder that while a Muslim man may love his non muslim wife, how will his family treat her and how will other muslim women treat her in general?
    That's not what bothers me, it's the fact what Christians and even Jews do nowadays contradicts Islam...and we know shirk is the biggest form of sin.
    Marriage: muslim girl, non-muslim guy

    *Without Allah, without Islam, life would be meaningless. If I've ever learned patience, it's because of this. Alhamdulillah...*

  9. #26
    Melancholy's Avatar
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    Re: Marriage: muslim girl, non-muslim guy

    Salamu Alaikum. I am in a dilemma as I am love a non muslim boy. How can I lose these feelings? I dress modestly and try to be a good muslim. Nothing has ever happened as we are just friends. Why do I always fall for non-muslim boys?
    Help??

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    Re: Marriage: muslim girl, non-muslim guy

    Quote Originally Posted by Melancholy View Post
    Salamu Alaikum. I am in a dilemma as I am love a non muslim boy. How can I lose these feelings? I dress modestly and try to be a good muslim. Nothing has ever happened as we are just friends. Why do I always fall for non-muslim boys?
    Help??
    Where are you from Sister?
    I understand the situation you may face, however The One True God is Love. It is not a sin to love another human being. It is not a sin for a woman to be in Love with a man or vice-versa.

  11. #28
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    Re: Marriage: muslim girl, non-muslim guy

    Quote Originally Posted by FATEone View Post
    Where are you from Sister?
    I understand the situation you may face, however The One True God is Love. It is not a sin to love another human being. It is not a sin for a woman to be in Love with a man or vice-versa.
    Different religion.

  12. #29
    Banu_Hashim's Avatar
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    Re: Marriage: muslim girl, non-muslim guy

    Quote Originally Posted by FATEone View Post
    Where are you from Sister?
    I understand the situation you may face, however The One True God is Love. It is not a sin to love another human being. It is not a sin for a woman to be in Love with a man or vice-versa.
    Yeah, but you have to see it from an Islamic perspective, and then you'll see her dilemma. You can't have relationships of any kind with the opposite sex before marriage.

    Quote Originally Posted by Melancholy View Post
    Salamu Alaikum. I am in a dilemma as I am love a non muslim boy. How can I lose these feelings? I dress modestly and try to be a good muslim. Nothing has ever happened as we are just friends. Why do I always fall for non-muslim boys?
    Help??
    Sis, it's probably just a phase. You're not the only muslim to go through such feelings, I can tell you that for sure. Just try and be strong, and focus your attention on other things. The more Islamic thinks such as salah, the better .
    Marriage: muslim girl, non-muslim guy

    ‘Say: If the ocean were ink wherewith to write out the words of my Lord, sooner would the ocean be exhausted, even if We added another ocean like it.’~Al Qu'raan (18:109)


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    Melancholy's Avatar
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    Re: Marriage: muslim girl, non-muslim guy

    Quote Originally Posted by Banu_Hashim View Post
    Sis, it's probably just a phase. You're not the only muslim to go through such feelings, I can tell you that for sure. Just try and be strong, and focus your attention on other things. The more Islamic thinks such as salah, the better .
    I have been praying to Allah and to help me get through this stage. Thank you very much for your help

  15. #31
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    Re: Marriage: muslim girl, non-muslim guy

    Quote Originally Posted by Banu_Hashim View Post
    Yeah, but you have to see it from an Islamic perspective, and then you'll see her dilemma. You can't have relationships of any kind with the opposite sex before marriage.
    I wan't comtemplating any of that, because I will not act upon on my feelings. It's just something which I feel, but will not demonstrate before marriage obviously

  16. #32
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    Re: Marriage: muslim girl, non-muslim guy

    Quote Originally Posted by Melancholy View Post
    I wan't comtemplating any of that, because I will not act upon on my feelings. It's just something which I feel, but will not demonstrate before marriage obviously
    Yep, I understand that. Feelings I guess can seem harmless, but can act as a catalyst for other things. I'd just try and forget about whatever it was. Easier said than done, I know!
    Marriage: muslim girl, non-muslim guy

    ‘Say: If the ocean were ink wherewith to write out the words of my Lord, sooner would the ocean be exhausted, even if We added another ocean like it.’~Al Qu'raan (18:109)


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    Re: Marriage: muslim girl, non-muslim guy

    Quote Originally Posted by Banu_Hashim View Post
    Yep, I understand that. Feelings I guess can seem harmless, but can act as a catalyst for other things. I'd just try and forget about whatever it was. Easier said than done, I know!
    Thanks for understanding and the help. May Allah reward you inshallah

  18. #34
    Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн's Avatar
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    Re: Marriage: muslim girl, non-muslim guy

    Quote Originally Posted by Melancholy View Post
    I have been praying to Allah and to help me get through this stage. Thank you very much for your help
    Sis you wana know something, I had this problem when I was in junior high and up until high school. I knew also that the kid liked me lol. It lasted about 3 yrs but Alhamdulillah I never acted on it. Allah Ta'ala kept me safe and wallahi I'm so grateful. I wasn't even practising at the time but I knew we weren't allowed to date or have boyfriends etc. I gotta give credit to my parents for raising me this way.

    Oh what's funny is, my parents don't know about this even now Looool.
    Last edited by Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн; 06-10-2009 at 05:57 PM.
    Marriage: muslim girl, non-muslim guy

    *Without Allah, without Islam, life would be meaningless. If I've ever learned patience, it's because of this. Alhamdulillah...*

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    Re: Marriage: muslim girl, non-muslim guy

    Quote Originally Posted by Light of Heaven View Post
    Sis you wana know something, I had this problem when I was in junior high and up until high school. I knew also that the kid liked me lol. It lasted about 3 yrs but Alhamdulillah I never acted on it. Allah Ta'ala kept me safe and wallahi I'm so grateful. I wasn't even practising at the time but I knew we weren't allowed to date or have boyfriends etc. I gotta give credit to my parents for raising me this way.

    Oh what's funny is, my parents don't know about this even now Looool.

    Same here.

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    Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн's Avatar
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    Re: Marriage: muslim girl, non-muslim guy

    ^^ I never felt the need to as Allah knew my intentions and just cause I feared their reaction.
    So my point is...do the same and try to ignore it. Remembering Allah helps

    Marriage: muslim girl, non-muslim guy

    *Without Allah, without Islam, life would be meaningless. If I've ever learned patience, it's because of this. Alhamdulillah...*

  22. #37
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    Re: Marriage: muslim girl, non-muslim guy

    hmm I wouldn't have given the feelings a chance to arise in the first place, this is why mixing with the opposite gender is haraam looks like you learnt the hard way,
    Last edited by Salahudeen; 06-10-2009 at 06:58 PM.

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    Re: Marriage: muslim girl, non-muslim guy

    Quote Originally Posted by Light of Heaven View Post
    That's not what bothers me, it's the fact what Christians and even Jews do nowadays contradicts Islam...and we know shirk is the biggest form of sin.


    I would not put all Christians and Jews into a single box. You have good and bad in all religions. I have met more chaste women and Christians in general who live a holy life than those who have not. I cant really form an opinion on the Jews as I have not had much experinece with them. But those who live in accordance with Christian morals will find they are compatiable with most Islamic morailty.

  24. #39
    Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн's Avatar
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    Re: Marriage: muslim girl, non-muslim guy

    ^^ Of course I can't and its not chastity that I'm on about, but the type of shirk done by them, even if they are really chaste. A lot of times thoe who dont do shirk, they tend to come to islam eventually. Allah knows best, maybe sooner than later it'll click to me.
    Last edited by Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн; 06-11-2009 at 09:42 PM.
    Marriage: muslim girl, non-muslim guy

    *Without Allah, without Islam, life would be meaningless. If I've ever learned patience, it's because of this. Alhamdulillah...*

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    sevgi's Avatar
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    Re: Marriage: muslim girl, non-muslim guy

    Salams all,

    Ive been on a few times to go through what your responses were...thank you all for clarifying some aspects of my query.

    Just to elaborate a little:

    This guy knows more than the sister about islam. He has a few issues with it. Since her religion does not let her marry him, he thinks islam is an illogical and 'backward' religion.

    He loves her hijab and way of dress and would never get in the way of their children becoming muslim. He himself lives like a muslim but does not feel the need to convert as he sees islam as being cruel to those who are non-muslims. He choses to be an agnostic who embraces the beautiful factors of ALL religions. He loves islam and all his friends are muslims. He does not do anything unislamic and practices some islamic principles better than any muslim I know.

    I am very very worried that I am beginning to sympathise and agree with the sister and her non-muslim man. How can Islam have an issue with this?
    Marriage: muslim girl, non-muslim guy

    "'Cause I hear the whispered words
    In your masterpiece beautiful
    You speak the unspeakable through
    I love you too"


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