Marriage: muslim girl, non-muslim guy

^^ I don't know what to say sister but I hope InshaAllah someone here can answer you swiftly. May Allah bless your marriage, Ameen

Forgive me if my question is somewhat different to some of the above discussions but I have no other recourse but to post it here. I have been checking different websites but cant find any answers. It needs to be answered in Shariah law and UK/US based law.

As for the US and UK law it is not possible for me to help. As per Islamic permissibility, there is no argument as to whether you have been divorced from him. The difference between scholars is on the count of days (Edda) during which if he reverts to Islam, then your marriage would have been preserved. The Edda calculation without pregnancy is around 4 months and 10 days according to some, or three period cycles according to others. Assuming it is over already and your ex husband hasn't reverted to Islam, therefore you are free to marry the new brother Islamically in front of a judge or muslim community.

However scholars do always warn that in non-islamic countries the legal marriage is what counts to courts and government, and that needs to be disolved peacefully or legally even if it costs you. Saudi advisory Islamic board says it is permissible to negotiate with the non-muslim ex-husband and settle on something to make sure you get a speedy divorce on paper. Considering your situation you need to go through this if it is going to involve visa applications and legal marriage in front of US authorities.

But Islamically speaking it is consensus you can marry the person and make nikah as long as your count of days is over from your ex-husband. Travel arrangements and going through visa and US marriage stuff and whether they will accept something like that before you get your complete divorce is way beyond me.

As always God knows best.

format_quote Originally Posted by Rie_Maya

So the article is deleted becuase of someone's over-sensitivity.

here it is again - by a different author - hope that helps you!

You need to understand a few things here.

First off, it's not about over-sensitivity. If it was, there would be many members of this forum that would not be allowed to post here.

Secondly, the author of the article you posted the first time is one of the most prominent orientalists out there, and he has slandered the name of our Beloved Prophet (peace be upon him) numerous times. Are you really going to endorse his views by posting his articles?

So the article is deleted becuase of someone's over-sensitivity.

And where did u assume that? Why would we want an article by someone who defames rasoolAllah(saw)?

Perhaps u should not accuse others of being over sensitive, astaghfirullah.

Can we stay on topic? Thanks.

I understand what everyone is saying. I know it is haraam and Im not trying to make 'haraam' into 'halal'. Im just trying to figure out where this guy stands. Like, does he really fall into the non-muslim category even though he is the way he is. And im tryng to figure out the logic behind something which I fail to see logic in. Thats all. And I asked for your help.

And thank you all for your help. I havent found out the logic behind it still...maybe I should search elsewhere...

ws.

Sister inshallah ill try helping,

he does fall into the category of Non-muslim since he has not said the shahada, if the sister can make him take it then he'll be a muslim but not forcing it down his throat ofcourse.

I don't quite understand why you cannot see the logic behind why Allah has forbidden a muslim Women to Marry a non-muslim man, the reasons are endless, it doesnt matter if hes acting like a muslim he aint one, hes a wannabe untill he takes the shahada lol.

asalaamalaykum ya ukht

Maybe you should direct your question to a proper sheikh or something since you can't understand the logic.

A reversion for the purposes marrying someone is void.

If I was a non-Muslim, and I wanted to marry a Christian girl whos parents forbid her from marrying a non-christian, it is obvious that I will convert for the marriage. No matter how much I say "I love Christianity, Im ready to live like one, I'd love to go to Church etc etc". My migration was for the girl. That was the catalyst so the conversion is void. (note that this is a metaphor for the Islamic version)

You must be careful not to try and make up reasons to convince yourself that the haram is halal. Similarly, if he loves you, do you really think that his reversion is valid after you had brought it up as a condition for marriage with you?

We have said this many many times on this forum. Life is a test. Love is no different. Allah is your creator and his. Do you think that He will not provide you with something better? You can't fall into the mindset that "Hes the only one,theres noone like him" Because there is. There always is.


“Whoever abandons something for the sake of Allaah,
He will replace it for him with something better than it”

I honestly do not see what is illogical about what was said. Why oh why would u want to marry someone who is not Muslim. And btw, u havent addressed my post. I'd love an answer to that.

format_quote Originally Posted by nebula

Sister inshallah ill try helping,

he does fall into the category of Non-muslim since he has not said the shahada, if the sister can make him take it then he'll be a muslim but not forcing it down his throat ofcourse.

I don't quite understand why you cannot see the logic behind why Allah has forbidden a muslim Women to Marry a non-muslim man, the reasons are endless, it doesnt matter if hes acting like a muslim he aint one, hes a wannabe untill he takes the shahada lol.

asalaamalaykum ya ukht

Look at you. So desperate are you guys to fill primal urges that you forget that point of our deen.

What contradiction! If the sister can make him say it???!! But not force it of course!

He should say it without any prodding. He has refused to say it. Move on. It's astounding how fast people are willing to sacrifice their standing in the hereafter.

Now that people have to walk the walk instead of talking the talk all of a sudden morals can be compromised.

Not withstanding my agreement with that this whole situation seems to be twisting things around to make them marry no matter what, as if "convincing" us is somehow going to warp Islamic principals, I just wanted to clarify that converting for the sole purpose of marriage is acceptable with proof from the prophet and the companions. Talha wanted to marry Umm Salama who insisted he convert to Islam, and said that him joining Islam would be her dowry. He did, and the prophet married them.

Reverting to Islam however in that case needs to be complete and not a sham, as in the person will have to perform all prayers and commit to worship of muslims, not lead a muslim "lifestyle" as in be a good person and that's it.

As for the poster of "Dr Hargey" and his "couples", were you not able get a clue from the part that said "Couples from Spain, Germany, Sweden, Ireland, France and Norway have all come to Dr Hargey after failing to find someone locally prepared to carry out the service"? If across the entirity of Europe with all the innovators, misguided ones and liberals that must be there by percentage in a community of over 50 million muslims they couldn't find ONE to accept that hogwash, where do you get the logic of posting the article here as if it lends permissibility to the concept?

As for it not being in the Quran, completely false:

"( فَإِنْ عَلِمْتُمُوهُنَّ مُؤْمِنَاتٍ فَلا تَرْجِعُوهُنَّ إِلَى الْكُفَّارِ لا هُنَّ حِلٌّ لَهُمْ وَلا هُمْ يَحِلُّونَ لَهُنَّ وَآتُوهُمْ مَا أَنْفَقُوا وَلا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ أَنْ تَنْكِحُوهُنَّ إِذَا آتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ أُجُورَهُنَّ وَلا تُمْسِكُوا بِعِصَمِ الْكَوَافِرِ)"
"if ye ascertain that they are Believers, then send them not back to the Unbelievers. they are not lawful (wives) for the Unbelievers, nor are the (Unbelievers) lawful (husbands) for them. But pay the Unbelievers what they have spent (on their dower), and there will be no blame on you if ye marry them on payment of their dower to them." [60:10]

Not to mention the incredibly extensive direct dictation from hadith and sunnah as well as actual practice of muslims from the prophet's days until this day and the illegality of it in all even civil courts of all muslim countries.

He converts and starts praying and commits to fasting and zakat and pilgrimage, they can marry. He doesn't, they can continue to do whatever they wish but Islamically her situation will be adultery every day of her life, and any children will illegitimate. Muslim "Lifestyle" is not sufficient in any way.

format_quote Originally Posted by sevgi

Can we stay on topic? Thanks.

I understand what everyone is saying. I know it is haraam and Im not trying to make 'haraam' into 'halal'. Im just trying to figure out where this guy stands. Like, does he really fall into the non-muslim category even though he is the way he is. And im tryng to figure out the logic behind something which I fail to see logic in. Thats all. And I asked for your help.

And thank you all for your help. I havent found out the logic behind it still...maybe I should search elsewhere...

ws.

Logic in what exactly? He does fall as not being Muslim category, but it doesn't make him a worse person for it. Though it does make him not validate to marry her, because ultimatelly, one should obey Allah.


I also started wondering what sister Light of Heaven said. Does he pray the way we pray? Then he is indeed saying the shahada, but I think there are needed witnesses.

If Sheikhs let a sister marry a non-practicing Muslim guy then they obviously are doing wrong in the sense of the good for the girl, as well as the sister herself and her family to allow such.

He is grown up. He doesn't want to 'betray his family', why does he want her to betray her religion, which he also says to follow? The obedience to Allah is above the obedience to the family, that's the reality, how much it even might hurt us. I would have wanted to see how you would reply to my post, but I still think you might have to re-read some posts her anyway.

format_quote Originally Posted by sevgi

Can we stay on topic? Thanks.

I understand what everyone is saying. I know it is haraam and Im not trying to make 'haraam' into 'halal'. Im just trying to figure out where this guy stands. Like, does he really fall into the non-muslim category even though he is the way he is. And im tryng to figure out the logic behind something which I fail to see logic in. Thats all. And I asked for your help.

And thank you all for your help. I havent found out the logic behind it still...maybe I should search elsewhere...

ws.

IF he believes in Allah and his messengers and disbelieves the shirk of other religions(aka Isa a.s. is not god) then he is a believer, but that doesn't mean he can marry her. The whole conversion thing is about public declaration.

So you should advice him to be a man and do it. He doesn't need to wear a turban and to break it to his family but he needs to say it in front of 2 people.

Btw if he wants to fulfill the fard of going to hajj you need a conversion certificate so he should do it at a major mosque. My advice is Galipoli, since that is in your hood.

By the way, how is it noble for him not to revert because of loyalty to his parents? Obviously this is more important to him than loyalty to Allah.

Have you forgotten the first Muslims had to fight their families when they reverted? Have you forgotten that they were the best generation?

This thread is getting nonsensical. That sister has gotten her answer. It is haram. Moreover, that bad influence is affecting the sister asking the question.

To think, she says "what harm can he be to her children?" Well so far she loves a guy who thinks Islam is illogical and backward, who picks and chooses things from other religons, and who values his family over faith.

She has already been corrupted. I can only imagine what would happen to their children.

Btw, if Shahada was not a big deal and we went by the thinking that it's ok for him "not" to say, then it would not have been a criteria...and still I want an answer to my post.