Was this my life? Is this all Allah had planned for me? :(

format_quote Originally Posted by Hybrid

How are you doing nowadays?

Believe it or not I know just how you feel.
But you just need have hope and try and be appreciative of the problems that you don't have.
For a while I felt like I was the worst, most wicked person in the world. And to a certain degree I still feel that way. But I can't allow myself to lose hope, because the second I do lose hope, shaitaan wins.

What I'm saying is hope in Allah makes us strong.
Nothing lasts forever.

I guess that makes three of us.I feel the same as this brother or worst.There is not a day that passes where i feel like Allah doesnt care about me.I even feel like He loves shaytan more than me.Yes its crazy but thats how it feels,like am the worst ever,and no matter what i do can change it.
Its the worst feeling in the world,especially when you have nobody to talk to,when you are all alone.

I really hope he is feling better.I hope someone reached him in pm or smth.

format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousPoster

I've been depressed for so long now (years yes YEARS) that I have completely lost faith in Allah. I used to pray so much with a sincere heart and with true and painful tears, pouring my heart out to Allah. I still feel the need to pray, but having the sincerety and even trying to believe that eventually my duas will be answered and I will get better is an impossibilty.

Nowadays when I get on the prayer mat, I have crazy thoughts in my head like, “oh here we go, I have to force myself to pray even though my life is in tatters. This is a joke, Allah won’t listen to me, He never has in the past decade why would He listen now” I do end up finishing my prayer but very grudgingly and angrily. I can’t do it with a sincere heart anymore. When I did I was still ignored.

It's probably not worth me praying if I haven't got the sincerity in my heart right? Should I just give up altogether and accept that this is my life and I will NEVER get better?

Please don't tell me things will change and I have to believe they will and all that crap because my kismet is already written, I can't do anything, that's right NOT even make dua because it will never be accepted.

Please don't tell me I will live a happier life in the hereafter, YOU DON'T KNOW THAT FOR SURE ONLY ALLAH SWT KNOWS!!!

After years and years of trying to make my life better, it collapses on top of me again and again. I pray and I pray and yes I shouldn't be complaining like this but how else am I supposed to let this anger and these frustrations out to release the tension?

No one else listens, my family don't care, my friends are sick of me and my depression and my mood swings, they don’t even care anymore.

I wake up every morning feeling painfully lonely, empty, like I'm already dead just walking around in a body, nothing to look forward too, no true friends, no family who actually care. I drive around in my car and I just cry while i'm driving, I used to play the Qur'an CD, but not even that makes me feel better. Even after praying, I feel lifeless and empty.

Why should anyone care how I feel? Afterall, I'm just another 'nobody' walking around on this earth waiting to drop dead with this torturous pain and loneliness.

I say Istighfar all the time but I can't say it like I mean it, I can't recite the Qur'an like I mean it anymore, I can't read any dua like I mean it anymore, I feel treacherously hopeless. All these words can't describe the pain and suffering I'm going through.

What do I do? Should I just give up and accept that I was born to live in misery? If Allah swt is Forgiving, why after years of asking for forgiveness am I still suffering this much? Why do people say "Allah doesn't burden a soul more than it can bear"? When I feel i could collapse and die any minute from this pain that has built up over the years and has got too much for me to handle?

Do I really have to accept the fact that i will NEVER see the light at the end of the tunnel?

"Verily after hardship comes relief" YES that is correct for most EXCEPT ME!

"No soul is burdened with more than it can bare" YES for most EXCEPT ME!!!!!

None of these matter to all of you, you are just reading, you can't feel what i feel.

These words are nothing. I'm nothing, this world is nothing!!! My pain doesn't mean anything to anybody.

I see happy people, I get so angry and upset!


DON'T TELL ME THEY MIGHT BE UNHAPPY BEHIND CLOSED DOORS!!!! AT LEAST THEY CAN MANAGE A SMILE!!!!!!!!!!!!


One day people will be sad and the next day they find relief. Allah swt eases their pain after a short while.

But my pain doesn't matter, it carries on and on and it doesn't stop hurting. This is not a TEST IT'S NEVERENDING TORTURE!!!!!

Are you all happy? haha, did you all find 'relief after hardship' hahahaaaaaa GOOD FOR U!!!!!!!

Are any of you going through hardship right now this very minute????? What is your hardship? It's probably so minor and pathetic you call it HARDSHIP LOL!!!!!!

Don't worry about me, I'm just another excuse for a human being!!!!! MY FEELINGS DON'T COUNT!!!!!! Me, my life, my feelings, my thoughts, me just being on this earth, itcounts for NOTHING!!

SORRY IF I'VE OFFENDED ANYONE I DON'T MEAN TO, YOUR PROBLEMS MUST BE REAL BAD!!!!!

What are you going to tell me next? That I have a roof over my head, I have bread to eat and clothes to wear?????? WHAT IS THE POINT WHEN I'M LIVING IN MISERY!!!!!!!


GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL IN YOUR SHORT LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!

Lol, no im not really happy.

I just feel so openly challenged that any answer I put forward seems excessive.. and yet in ignorance that's all any of us ever do.. put forward answers.

All you have to do is spend time with someone and you will both end up putting forward lol.

So being angry at strangers is always going to corrupt your interactions with them.

..I find it incredible how openly challenged I am sometimes, I walk down the street and people literally move out of their own way to block mine.

To be fair I'm always going to move out of the way.

But you have to understand that whatever moves them moves you too.




To be fair if you want "life", then it's never going to be enough.

You always want more, people always have more. But it's never really going to fill any real hole in you.

You have to work towards something.

You have to be able to justify your answers and believe in them.


Allah swt is not unjust in the slightest.


Lol I have a sister in law that is really mean but in the end if iv done nothing wrong in public and private.. then she has nothing to aim at.

And yes, just overtaking her once is enough to get a new life.. but if it amounts to anything is something else entirely.

But a lot of people live by not knowing what passes through the tongue or hand.. I don't know how else it could be written.