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  1. #1
    Array AnonymousPoster's Avatar
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    Was this my life? Is this all Allah had planned for me? :( (OP)


    I've been depressed for so long now (years yes YEARS) that I have completely lost faith in Allah. I used to pray so much with a sincere heart and with true and painful tears, pouring my heart out to Allah. I still feel the need to pray, but having the sincerety and even trying to believe that eventually my duas will be answered and I will get better is an impossibilty.

    Nowadays when I get on the prayer mat, I have crazy thoughts in my head like, “oh here we go, I have to force myself to pray even though my life is in tatters. This is a joke, Allah won’t listen to me, He never has in the past decade why would He listen now” I do end up finishing my prayer but very grudgingly and angrily. I can’t do it with a sincere heart anymore. When I did I was still ignored.

    It's probably not worth me praying if I haven't got the sincerity in my heart right? Should I just give up altogether and accept that this is my life and I will NEVER get better?

    Please don't tell me things will change and I have to believe they will and all that crap because my kismet is already written, I can't do anything, that's right NOT even make dua because it will never be accepted.

    Please don't tell me I will live a happier life in the hereafter, YOU DON'T KNOW THAT FOR SURE ONLY ALLAH SWT KNOWS!!!

    After years and years of trying to make my life better, it collapses on top of me again and again. I pray and I pray and yes I shouldn't be complaining like this but how else am I supposed to let this anger and these frustrations out to release the tension?

    No one else listens, my family don't care, my friends are sick of me and my depression and my mood swings, they don’t even care anymore.

    I wake up every morning feeling painfully lonely, empty, like I'm already dead just walking around in a body, nothing to look forward too, no true friends, no family who actually care. I drive around in my car and I just cry while i'm driving, I used to play the Qur'an CD, but not even that makes me feel better. Even after praying, I feel lifeless and empty.

    Why should anyone care how I feel? Afterall, I'm just another 'nobody' walking around on this earth waiting to drop dead with this torturous pain and loneliness.

    I say Istighfar all the time but I can't say it like I mean it, I can't recite the Qur'an like I mean it anymore, I can't read any dua like I mean it anymore, I feel treacherously hopeless. All these words can't describe the pain and suffering I'm going through.

    What do I do? Should I just give up and accept that I was born to live in misery? If Allah swt is Forgiving, why after years of asking for forgiveness am I still suffering this much? Why do people say "Allah doesn't burden a soul more than it can bear"? When I feel i could collapse and die any minute from this pain that has built up over the years and has got too much for me to handle?

    Do I really have to accept the fact that i will NEVER see the light at the end of the tunnel?

    "Verily after hardship comes relief" YES that is correct for most EXCEPT ME!

    "No soul is burdened with more than it can bare" YES for most EXCEPT ME!!!!!

    None of these matter to all of you, you are just reading, you can't feel what i feel.

    These words are nothing. I'm nothing, this world is nothing!!! My pain doesn't mean anything to anybody.

    I see happy people, I get so angry and upset!


    DON'T TELL ME THEY MIGHT BE UNHAPPY BEHIND CLOSED DOORS!!!! AT LEAST THEY CAN MANAGE A SMILE!!!!!!!!!!!!


    One day people will be sad and the next day they find relief. Allah swt eases their pain after a short while.

    But my pain doesn't matter, it carries on and on and it doesn't stop hurting. This is not a TEST IT'S NEVERENDING TORTURE!!!!!

    Are you all happy? haha, did you all find 'relief after hardship' hahahaaaaaa GOOD FOR U!!!!!!!

    Are any of you going through hardship right now this very minute????? What is your hardship? It's probably so minor and pathetic you call it HARDSHIP LOL!!!!!!

    Don't worry about me, I'm just another excuse for a human being!!!!! MY FEELINGS DON'T COUNT!!!!!! Me, my life, my feelings, my thoughts, me just being on this earth, itcounts for NOTHING!!

    SORRY IF I'VE OFFENDED ANYONE I DON'T MEAN TO, YOUR PROBLEMS MUST BE REAL BAD!!!!!

    What are you going to tell me next? That I have a roof over my head, I have bread to eat and clothes to wear?????? WHAT IS THE POINT WHEN I'M LIVING IN MISERY!!!!!!!


    GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL IN YOUR SHORT LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. #21
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    Re: Was this my life? Is this all Allah had planned for me? :(

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    This is my sincere advice to you dear brothers and sisters who are going through this.

    This is a phenomenon that I have also encountered in my life and I can easily tell you that it's not easy and I acknowledge this fact but I do in the same time believe that the reason this has occured in your life is because the shayteen has taken notice that there is something good within you otherwise this would have not occured. It's sort of bombardement and the whole purpose is to overwhelm you and chase you away from the Salah because they have come to know that you have a ''VERY stubborn personality and nothing else will work on you'' So they resort to this '' I call it the bombardment tactic''

    1. Here is my advice go all out to for fill your Salah and duties towards Allah despite everything even if it means at your own peril. Meaning become even more stubborn on the righteous path and keep your word at all times that you are in until the end of your life span and has accepted ISLAM without conditions and that nobody can change the GOALs you have set for your life or Whatever you have chosen with your heart. Because that is what you did when you signed up and believed and started praying. Stick to that Wallahi no matter what and sometimes you might become weak but restart again.

    2. You need to practice patience and rise through strength of character. Look behind Dunya and akhira but keep to your words and the passion of your heart which is the decision you made the day you accepted to become a true muslim.

    3. Both Dunya and Akhira is a formality at the end of the day but what is stronger and better is that you are true to yourself and keep it to the last point. ''This needs you to become stubborn and steadfast''


    4. The shayteen will give up on you Insha-allah when they see that there is nothing to gain from you and that you are the do or die types lose or win.


    TRUE STRENGTH OF CHARACTER ''RISE above everything''

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    Hybrid's Avatar
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    Re: Was this my life? Is this all Allah had planned for me? :(

    How are you doing nowadays?

    Believe it or not I know just how you feel.
    But you just need have hope and try and be appreciative of the problems that you don't have.
    For a while I felt like I was the worst, most wicked person in the world. And to a certain degree I still feel that way. But I can't allow myself to lose hope, because the second I do lose hope, shaitaan wins.

    What I'm saying is hope in Allah makes us strong.
    Nothing lasts forever.
    | Likes Eric H liked this post

  5. #23
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    Re: Was this my life? Is this all Allah had planned for me? :(

    Quote Originally Posted by Hybrid View Post
    How are you doing nowadays?

    Believe it or not I know just how you feel.
    But you just need have hope and try and be appreciative of the problems that you don't have.
    For a while I felt like I was the worst, most wicked person in the world. And to a certain degree I still feel that way. But I can't allow myself to lose hope, because the second I do lose hope, shaitaan wins.

    What I'm saying is hope in Allah makes us strong.
    Nothing lasts forever.
    I guess that makes three of us.I feel the same as this brother or worst.There is not a day that passes where i feel like Allah doesnt care about me.I even feel like He loves shaytan more than me.Yes its crazy but thats how it feels,like am the worst ever,and no matter what i do can change it.
    Its the worst feeling in the world,especially when you have nobody to talk to,when you are all alone.

    I really hope he is feling better.I hope someone reached him in pm or smth.
    Last edited by RisingLight; 01-25-2019 at 01:11 PM.

  6. #24
    M.I.A.'s Avatar
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    Re: Was this my life? Is this all Allah had planned for me? :(

    Quote Originally Posted by AnonymousPoster View Post
    I've been depressed for so long now (years yes YEARS) that I have completely lost faith in Allah. I used to pray so much with a sincere heart and with true and painful tears, pouring my heart out to Allah. I still feel the need to pray, but having the sincerety and even trying to believe that eventually my duas will be answered and I will get better is an impossibilty.

    Nowadays when I get on the prayer mat, I have crazy thoughts in my head like, “oh here we go, I have to force myself to pray even though my life is in tatters. This is a joke, Allah won’t listen to me, He never has in the past decade why would He listen now” I do end up finishing my prayer but very grudgingly and angrily. I can’t do it with a sincere heart anymore. When I did I was still ignored.

    It's probably not worth me praying if I haven't got the sincerity in my heart right? Should I just give up altogether and accept that this is my life and I will NEVER get better?

    Please don't tell me things will change and I have to believe they will and all that crap because my kismet is already written, I can't do anything, that's right NOT even make dua because it will never be accepted.

    Please don't tell me I will live a happier life in the hereafter, YOU DON'T KNOW THAT FOR SURE ONLY ALLAH SWT KNOWS!!!

    After years and years of trying to make my life better, it collapses on top of me again and again. I pray and I pray and yes I shouldn't be complaining like this but how else am I supposed to let this anger and these frustrations out to release the tension?

    No one else listens, my family don't care, my friends are sick of me and my depression and my mood swings, they don’t even care anymore.

    I wake up every morning feeling painfully lonely, empty, like I'm already dead just walking around in a body, nothing to look forward too, no true friends, no family who actually care. I drive around in my car and I just cry while i'm driving, I used to play the Qur'an CD, but not even that makes me feel better. Even after praying, I feel lifeless and empty.

    Why should anyone care how I feel? Afterall, I'm just another 'nobody' walking around on this earth waiting to drop dead with this torturous pain and loneliness.

    I say Istighfar all the time but I can't say it like I mean it, I can't recite the Qur'an like I mean it anymore, I can't read any dua like I mean it anymore, I feel treacherously hopeless. All these words can't describe the pain and suffering I'm going through.

    What do I do? Should I just give up and accept that I was born to live in misery? If Allah swt is Forgiving, why after years of asking for forgiveness am I still suffering this much? Why do people say "Allah doesn't burden a soul more than it can bear"? When I feel i could collapse and die any minute from this pain that has built up over the years and has got too much for me to handle?

    Do I really have to accept the fact that i will NEVER see the light at the end of the tunnel?

    "Verily after hardship comes relief" YES that is correct for most EXCEPT ME!

    "No soul is burdened with more than it can bare" YES for most EXCEPT ME!!!!!

    None of these matter to all of you, you are just reading, you can't feel what i feel.

    These words are nothing. I'm nothing, this world is nothing!!! My pain doesn't mean anything to anybody.

    I see happy people, I get so angry and upset!


    DON'T TELL ME THEY MIGHT BE UNHAPPY BEHIND CLOSED DOORS!!!! AT LEAST THEY CAN MANAGE A SMILE!!!!!!!!!!!!


    One day people will be sad and the next day they find relief. Allah swt eases their pain after a short while.

    But my pain doesn't matter, it carries on and on and it doesn't stop hurting. This is not a TEST IT'S NEVERENDING TORTURE!!!!!

    Are you all happy? haha, did you all find 'relief after hardship' hahahaaaaaa GOOD FOR U!!!!!!!

    Are any of you going through hardship right now this very minute????? What is your hardship? It's probably so minor and pathetic you call it HARDSHIP LOL!!!!!!

    Don't worry about me, I'm just another excuse for a human being!!!!! MY FEELINGS DON'T COUNT!!!!!! Me, my life, my feelings, my thoughts, me just being on this earth, itcounts for NOTHING!!

    SORRY IF I'VE OFFENDED ANYONE I DON'T MEAN TO, YOUR PROBLEMS MUST BE REAL BAD!!!!!

    What are you going to tell me next? That I have a roof over my head, I have bread to eat and clothes to wear?????? WHAT IS THE POINT WHEN I'M LIVING IN MISERY!!!!!!!


    GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL IN YOUR SHORT LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!
    Lol, no im not really happy.

    I just feel so openly challenged that any answer I put forward seems excessive.. and yet in ignorance that's all any of us ever do.. put forward answers.

    All you have to do is spend time with someone and you will both end up putting forward lol.

    So being angry at strangers is always going to corrupt your interactions with them.

    ..I find it incredible how openly challenged I am sometimes, I walk down the street and people literally move out of their own way to block mine.

    To be fair I'm always going to move out of the way.

    But you have to understand that whatever moves them moves you too.




    To be fair if you want "life", then it's never going to be enough.

    You always want more, people always have more. But it's never really going to fill any real hole in you.

    You have to work towards something.

    You have to be able to justify your answers and believe in them.


    Allah swt is not unjust in the slightest.


    Lol I have a sister in law that is really mean but in the end if iv done nothing wrong in public and private.. then she has nothing to aim at.

    And yes, just overtaking her once is enough to get a new life.. but if it amounts to anything is something else entirely.

    But a lot of people live by not knowing what passes through the tongue or hand.. I don't know how else it could be written.
    Last edited by M.I.A.; 01-25-2019 at 01:29 PM.

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  8. #25
    SintoDinto's Avatar
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    Re: Was this my life? Is this all Allah had planned for me? :(

    See a psychologist or psychotherapist. They can help you.

    - - - Updated - - -

    You need to separate yourself from your family and minimize ties. I didn't read but I saw you posting quite frequently when I used to be here. Punching a sister is absolutely not ok. Move out.

    But if youre not that sister, I suggest therapy.

  9. #26
    Imraan's Avatar
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    Re: Was this my life? Is this all Allah had planned for me? :(

    Bruv. I understand your pain. Believe me, if you look at my life there have been many ups and downs. More downs than ups (ungrateful point of view) and alternatively the up times were great 'while they lasted' and compared to others in this world im doing ok Alhamdulillah Or I hope to be doing ok insh Allah (grateful view).

    I am in deep calamity at the moment so I'm constantly looking for remedy. You can follow my calamity if you wish.

    My marriage from day one has had more downs than ups, i feel like im in a nightmare,

    Only Allah can help me and yes I'm willing to wait. Got no choice have I? I'm a Muslim, always have been, why change my train of thought? Instead I try to improve my knowledge more so than losing faith why things aren't working out for me. I believe in every statement in the quran, I would never wholeheartedly challenge the word of Allah. Fair enough I Do feel let down sometimes and that is because It is down to logic and emotion and lack of imaan. Being temperamental is natural for some humans I've realised. Subhan Allah may Allah guide us.

    Read this because I found it helpful.

    How To Get Through Hardships & Trials in life!

    It's quite long but I invite you to read it.

    Never lose faith and always trust Allah bro. You will have to return to him eventually it is guaranteed it is inevitable. Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajioon (allahumma ajurni we fi musibati wakhliflee anhi). "We belong to God and to Him we shall return (O Allah, reward me for my affliction and replace it for me with that which is better,)"

    No Muslim can challenge or deny that fact.

    Ya Allah!. May you guide us all and ease our difficulties, Please do not test us with burdens that are too heavy for our shoulders to carry.

    Jzk for reading my post.
    | Likes Nájlá liked this post


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